Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2) (4 page)

"I don't understand why you want one, then," he said. He stepped toward me to pull me into his arms, and I went, though it was reluctant at best.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said. "Your friends are waiting." My face rested against his chest as I took in the familiar scent of his cologne.

He rubbed my back. "I'll talk to you in the morning," he said.

I nodded.

"I love you," he said.

I nodded again.

"I love you," he repeated.

"I love you too."

Chapter 4

I spent a lot of time with my family the following week. Carly and Micah's wedding was a simple affair for which they did not hire a wedding planner, so my mom and I had a considerable amount of work to do to get ready for it.

It was the middle of December, and we all assumed some of the guests would not be able to make it on account of holiday parties, but that wasn't the case. Nearly everyone they sent invitations to (and then some) had confirmed that they would be there, and we had a little scrambling to do to make arrangements for 150 guests.

I'd been to enough fancy weddings to know all the tricks with white lights and paper lanterns, and by the time we were done with the conference room at church, it looked like every bride's dream. Carly's family chipped in quite a bit, and we pulled off something beautiful in spite of the time constraints and the fact that none of us were professionals. We got together the night before for a quick run-through, but again, that was nothing fancy, and there was no official rehearsal dinner or anything.

The wedding was scheduled to begin at 5pm, but those of us in the wedding party showed up at 4 to check some last minute things and help Carly finish getting ready. There was a sizable ladies room with attached sitting area that we took over. We were bustling about in there, and it was nearly time for the ceremony to begin when Carly's mom, Rhonda, asked about the
something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
tradition.

"I have everything," Carly said confidently, and then her face fell from a smile into a look of panic.

"What?" Rhonda asked.

"I don't have one of them. I'm so glad you said something. It's the borrowed one. I left it in my car."

"What was it?" her mom said.

"It's an anklet Aunt Christine mailed to me for the soul purpose of it being my borrowed item since she couldn't be here."

Her mom glanced at the big clock that hung on the wall. "It's five till. Why don't you just borrow something from someone else?" We all started feeling around on ourselves for things she could borrow.

"I have a bracelet," I said.

"Me too," Trish said, "And a necklace."

Carly let out a disappointed sigh. "I can't believe I forgot it."

"Why don't you let me run to your car?" I asked. "I can make it back in time. And even if I can't, it won't kill them to start two minutes late."

Carly regarded me with a relieved, expectant smile. "Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked.

"Not at all!"

"You saw where I was parked, right?"

"Yeah, I parked right by you."

She smiled and began digging for her keys, which she handed to me as quickly as she could. "It's on the passenger's seat in a little brown envelope."

"Okay, I'll be right back," I said, taking the keys.

"Thank you!"

I was pretty good in heels but I decided to walk quickly rather than jog just to be safe. I was relatively sure if I broke a sweat I'd have an embarrassing stain on my dress, so I knew I was better off walking. I exited through one of the side doors side and made it to Carly's car quickly and without distraction.

I had no problem finding the little envelope she was talking about. It was the only thing on her passenger's seat, and I snatched it up the instant I laid eyes on it. I made quick work of getting back to the side door I had previously used and was relatively sure I would get back to Carly well within time to begin the ceremony as scheduled.

I was smiling as I reached out for the door handle, but my smile only lasted until I figured out it was locked. It had opened easily from the inside but was apparently locked from the outside. I sighed, but resolved to walk through the main entrance, which would only add a couple of minutes to my time.

I was headed down the sidewalk on my way from one door to the other when the worst thing ever happened. I felt and heard the anklet as it left the envelope. I hadn't been holding it carefully because I assumed it was sealed, but apparently I was wrong. I stopped walking to stare down at the little paper envelope, which I could now see, was wide open on one end. I glanced down at the sidewalk beneath my feet, but it wasn't going to be that easy. The anklet was nowhere in sight, and I had no choice but to stop and look for it.

Thick Saint Augustine grass grew on each side of the sidewalk, and I had no idea where to begin. I didn't even know how big the anklet was or what it looked like. I stooped down to inspect a patch of grass on my right-hand side even though I was clueless which way it fell.

"Please, please, please Lord help me find this," I whispered, staring down at the grass.

"Are you okay?" I heard a man's voice say.

"I'm fine, I just dropped something," I said without looking up.

"Can we help you find it?" he asked.

"That would be amazing," I said, still looking down. "It's an anklet. I have no idea what it looks like, or I'd explain it to you. I felt it fall right around here, but it could be on either side.

"You look over there," I heard him say to whoever he was with, "and I'll help her on this side."

I felt his presence near me, but I didn't look up. I was too nervous and distraught about finding her aunt's jewelry to care who was helping me.

"You must be in the wedding," he said as we looked.

"Yeah, I'm the groom's sister. I'm also a bridesmaid, but I might lose that honor if can't find this anklet."

"We'll find it, don't worry," he said. And then seconds later, he said, "See?"

"You got it?" I asked feeling relief wash over me.

"If it's a little miniature necklace made out of gold and diamonds, then yes."

He extended his hand with the anklet dangling from his grasp. I stared at it carefully for a few seconds trying to make sure it was, in fact, an anklet and not just some other piece of jewelry that happened to be lying there coincidentally. I smiled and grasped it in my hand as I let out a thankful breath.

"Thank you so much," I said, making eye contact with him for the first time. I was already reaching out to hug him, but I stopped dead in my tracks and my smile fell. "Thank you so much," I said again, awkwardly pulling my arms back as I realized I couldn't go through with the hug.

My stomach tied into a thousand knots the second I looked into his beautiful blue eyes. I absolutely couldn't believe it, but even a quick scan of his unmistakable face made it clear that I was standing right in front of the one and only Shane Rollins.

"You're welcome," he said, smiling and acting normal as if I hadn't just reached out to hug the air in front of me for a second. His smile took me right back to being a kid who was hopelessly in love with him.

I was completely paralyzed. I could do nothing but stare at him like a deer in headlights.

"You must be Micah's sister," he continued, as if the earth was still revolving around the sun.

I managed a smile—at least I tried to. "Yes." I said, having to clear my throat in the middle of saying it.

"I'm Shane and this is my brother Brock," he said, holding out his hand for me to shake. I shook his hand, and he said, "Brock's starting work with your brother next week."

I shifted my attention to the brother in question who was now extending his hand for me to shake. It took me a second to let go of Shane's hand and make the transfer to Brock's. I knew the whole thing was awkward, but the middle schooler inside me just couldn't break contact with him right away.

"I think I better get this inside to Carly," I said breathlessly. "Thanks again for helping me find it. It was nice meeting you for the first time ever."

"You too," he said, not mentioning the fact that I was big dork who had just added
for the first time ever
to the end of my statement.

"Nice meeting you, Brock," I said, shifting my attention to his equally handsome brown-eyed brother.

I remembered Shane having an older brother, and I thought his name might have been Brock, but I had put that out of my mind the other night when Carly mentioned Micah hiring him.
What were the chances that Trish would be dating my Shane?
It was just too much to handle. I was nauseated, and not in a good,
he gives me butterflies
type of way but in a,
I might actually be sick
type of way.

I knew Shane and his brother were headed into the same door I was, but I ran ahead of them as best I could in heels. "Thanks again," I called from over my shoulder as I ran. I was dazed and breathless by the time I made it into the dressing room.

"Oh my goodness, I'm sorry that took so long," Carly said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, the door was locked so I had to go around." I took a second to catch my breath as I handed Carly the anklet, which was no longer in the envelope. I handed her mom the envelope separately. "Then it slipped out of the envelope and I had to look for it," I said. I figured I should come clean since there was a chance that Shane would repeat the story.

"I'm sorry that happened," Carly said. She handed the anklet to her friend, Annie, who instantly stooped and began putting it on for her. Everyone continued talking, and I slipped away to gather my wits and take a look in the mirror. I applied extra powder to my face just for good measure as I stared at my reflection and desperately tried to remember how many details I had given the girls that night when I told them about my crush on Shane.
Why had I even told that story in the first place?
What were the chances that I would come face-to-face with Shane Rollins after all these years?

"It's show time," Carly's stepdad said, peeking into the dressing room. I took a deep breath, contemplating being in the same room with Shane Rollins for the next two hours. I had no other choice. I had to do it. I set down the powder compact and turned with a smile to head for the door.

You would think it was my wedding with how nervous I was, but my partner for walking down the aisle was my brother Thomas, which helped me relax considerably. Thomas and I made our way down the aisle arm in arm, and he pointed out familiar faces in the crowd, said their name, and waved to them with his free hand.

It was a wonder pointing and waving was all he did. Thomas was famous for holding his arms straight up in the air every time he greeted someone, but he'd already been warned that he would see plenty of faces he recognized in the audience and it would be better for him to keep his hands by his side so I'd have someone to escort me down the isle. He kept his deal of being my escort, but used his free hand to wave the whole time we walked.

"Joan and Bobbyyy!" he said, with a point and wave. Ms. Joan McClellan and her husband both waved back. "Valarieee!" he said, with the same wave. Valerie waved back at him with a huge smile.

This continued the entire time we walked down the aisle. I was prepared for it—thankful for it actually. Everyone loved Thomas, and I was proud to walk with him and grateful that he took the pressure off of me at a time when I was feeling really nervous.

Thomas and I parted ways and stood in our assigned places as the rest of the wedding party came down the isle. I glanced into the crowd several times, but never laid eyes on Shane.

I did, however, spot Robin. I felt a sense of comfort and security when I saw him. It made me feel better knowing I was with someone. Reconnecting with Shane would have somehow been much harder if I had been single. At least now I had an extremely rich, powerful, and handsome long-term boyfriend at my side. I stood a little taller with the confidence I gained by glancing at Robin. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

The ceremony passed quickly. My nerves were on edge, and because of that, the whole thing seemed foggy. Thomas got emotional when something touched his heart, and a couple of times during the ceremony, he sank his face into his hands and began crying. Micah turned around and hugged him tightly one time, which made most everyone in the building (including me) start crying along with him.

It was a beautiful but short ceremony that was finished soon after it began. Before I knew it, we were off to the dinner and reception.

Chapter 5

The reception was set up in the church gym, which had a beautiful makeover, thanks to the efforts of those of us who helped decorate. Tables adorned with flowers and place settings and were positioned around the perimeter of the dance floor.

They originally weren't going to have a band or dancing at all, but my brother was a musician and some of his friends volunteered to play for the occasion. They were doing instrumental covers of old, familiar jazz songs that fit perfectly with the laid-back nature of the wedding. Dinner was catered by Micah's favorite Italian restaurant, and everyone ate before heading toward the dance floor.

Robin and I were sitting with my parents, Carly and Micah, Thomas, and Carly's parents. Our table was the center of attention since everyone wanted to come by and speak to the bride and groom.

There was enough distraction that I made it through all of dinner without laying eyes on Shane. I knew Trish and Annie were at the table behind us, and I purposefully avoided looking in that direction.

Robin was impeccably dressed for the occasion. He bought a new suit specifically for today. It was black with white pin striping, and it looked amazing on him. His hair was combed away from his face, perfectly styled and unmovable.

Every time we went somewhere people recognized him as part of the Buller family and wanted to shake his hand. He always accepted this sort of attention gracefully and carried on short but eloquent conversations with people who approached him. He was the epitome of wealth and prosperity, and I felt proud of him in social situations.

Today, I was especially grateful for his presence at my side. I couldn't remember how much I had told those girls about Shane Rollins, and I was praying I hadn't mentioned meeting him at the YMCA. All I could think was that my secret would come out and I would have a really angry Robin to contend with. I also wasn't keen on having to relive those horribly embarrassing moments I suffered all those years ago.

I did my best to put that worry out of my mind and enjoy the afternoon for what it was. Once we finished eating, Robin asked if I wanted to dance, and I easily agreed. We held hands as we made our way onto the dance floor. There were at least ten other couples out there already, and Robin and I found a place in the middle of them where we could get lost.

He and I were no strangers to the dance floor. His family was frequently invited to charity functions, and I always accompanied him. His mom actually bought me dancing lessons the first Christmas we were together so that I wouldn't embarrass the family on such occasions. She also hired an etiquette tutor for me. I was so young at the time that I hadn't even thought to be offended by it. Anyway, now I knew how to conduct myself on a dance floor and how to avoid humiliating others and myself in social situations.

Robin and I moved around the dance floor easily, and I caught myself feeling swept away by his confidence and poise—at least until I caught sight of Shane and Trish dancing near us. I instantly held Robin closer, praying that I could distract myself.

"It turned out to be a beautiful wedding, don't you think?" I heard Trish say from my left, even though I was trying not to look that way.

I knew she was talking to me, so I glanced at her to avoid being rude. I smiled and nodded. "It's really beautiful," I said.

I promised myself I would not look at Shane, and I succeeded at that until the very last second when I spared a glance at him before looking back at Robin.
Dang it. Why had I done that?
He was regarding me with a sweet smile that made my knees feel weak. We locked eyes for a split second before I tore my gaze away to stare back at Robin. I held Robin even closer as we continued to sway to the music, praying desperately that his embrace would ease my tension.

"I'm Carly's friend Trish," I heard her say.

To my horror, Robin took his hand from mine, stopped dancing, and extended his hand in her direction.
What was she doing? Didn't she know you weren't supposed to stop and have a conversation in the middle of the dance floor?

"You must be Robin," she said.

"Robin Buller," he responded, with a confident smile and a shake of her hand. Then he extended his hand in Shane's direction. The two men shook hands and smiled at each other.

"Shane Rollins," Shane said, smiling. I had to remind myself to breathe.
How was it that after all these years I was so torn up by him?
He had changed significantly, and yet it was as if he hadn't changed at all.

I glanced around to find that we were standing on the side of the dance floor and it wasn't at all awkward that we had stopped dancing to carry on a conversation. This disappointed me because I was hoping we were in people's way and would need to discontinue the conversation in order to move. The four of us faced each other like two couples would when talking. Everything seemed normal, but my nerves and adrenaline were out of control. Robin put his hand around my waist, and I snuggled closer to him in an effort to show everyone how happy and taken I was.

Shane and Trish stood next to each other, but didn't make much physical contact, which for some reason made me happy.

"You don't happen to be part of the Buller family that are cattle ranchers, do you?" Shane asked.

Robin smiled. "We're mainly in oil, but that's one of our companies, yes."

"So you're the owner?" Shane asked looking impressed.

Robin bowed his head graciously. "It's my father's business, but one day, it'll be mine."

"Wow," Shane said, laughing a little. "My mom's been working out at your ranch for years."

"Oh, that's excellent," Robin said. "What's she do out there?"

Shane shrugged and shook his head humbly. "She's some sort of secretary or bookkeeper."

"Well that's great. It's always a pleasure to meet one of the employees or their family. Did you say your name was Rollins?"

"Yes. Her name's Deb."

"Deb Rollins," Robin said. "I'll keep my eye out for her and tell her I met her son."

"How long have you two been together?" Trish asked, gesturing at Robin and me.

He looked at me and squeezed my waist with a smile. "Seems like forever, huh baby?"

"Three years," I said, smiling at him before looking at Trish.

"I'm sure we'll be the ones making wedding plans before too long," he said.

I glanced at him with a surprised expression, and he let out a little laugh as he bent to kiss me and squeeze me possessively.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Trish said.

"You look familiar for some reason," Shane said.

Robin and I both glanced at him to see that he was staring straight at me. The hold Robin had around me tightened. "She graduated from Reagan and now she's studying at San Antonio College," he said, before I could speak, "but you probably just recognize her from the wedding. She was the one standing up there beside your girlfriend." His comment was meant to be funny and we all laughed a little.

Shane shook his head as he continued to stare at me. "No, I saw her outside before the ceremony began, and even then, I thought she looked familiar."

"She's got a familiar face," Robin said, still not letting me speak. "She gets that all the time."

That wasn't true at all. No one ever told me I looked familiar, and he knew it. I turned to face Robin, looking slightly confused. Part of me was relieved he had taken over the conversation since I didn't want Shane to figure out who I was, but the other part was offended that he wouldn't let me speak.

"How'd you guys run into each other outside?" Robin asked, picking up on that bit of Shane's comment.

"I had gone to the car to get something for Carly," I said. "I accidentally dropped it on my way back into the church and he helped me find it."

This answer satisfied Robin who smiled at me before bending to kiss my head again.

"Maybe we can all get together sometime," Trish said. She smiled at me. "We talked about having a regular girls' night, but there's no reason why we couldn't include the boys sometime."

I gave her a huge smile. "Definitely!" I said, even though I knew it would never happen. There was absolutely
no way
I would subject myself to being in the same room with Shane Rollins again.

"Shane," we heard a man's voice saying from the side of the dance floor. All of us glanced over to see his brother, Brock, standing there with a serious expression. He flicked his head in a gesture that said he wanted Shane to come over there, and Shane did so immediately.

"Excuse me," Shane said from over his shoulder as he walked in Brock's direction.

Trish glanced at us with unapologetic expression. "He'll probably have to leave. His brother has been having a little trouble since he's been home from Iraq, and he doesn't do well in crowds." She shrugged. "I was surprised they even stayed this long." She smiled and followed Shane off the dance floor.

"It was nice meeting you," Robin said. She turned to us with a wave and smile.

Robin smiled at me before sweeping me off my feet and back onto the middle of the dance floor. I giggled at the thrill of being spun into motion. Robin held me close as we began to move to the music.

"What's this about a girls' night?" he asked.

"It's nothing," I said. "The other night when we were having dinner, someone mentioned us doing it again, but it won't amount to anything."

Robin didn't say anymore. We went right on dancing for the next three songs until someone announced that it was time to cut the cake. We watched as Carly and Micah made the traditional first cut before her mom and mine stepped in to begin cutting slices and serving them.

Trish must've been right about Shane having to go home because I saw her in the crowd, but Shane wasn't with her. The music went on for a while. I danced one more time with Robin and once with each of my brothers and my dad. Thomas was the last person I danced with before the band quit playing.

"This wedding means Carly's my sister now, and she's Micah's wife," Thomas said. He glanced at me as if he might have said something wrong. "But you’re my first sister—my real baby sister."

"That's right," I said. "And this wedding makes Carly my sister too."

Thomas stared at me with a look of serious shock as if the thought never crossed his mind. "She is?" he asked.

"Yep," I said. "Isn't that cool?"

"Yeah," he said. "Are you gonna take science class with her?"

"Maybe," I said. "I was thinking about coming to Happy House to see what you guys were doing sometime."

"Yessss!" Thomas said, taking his hand off my shoulder so he could pump his fist. He replaced it on my shoulder, and we swayed back and fourth for several long seconds as he looked around.

I was preoccupied with how strange it was that I ran into Shane and had no clue what Thomas was thinking. I followed his line of vision to see that he was staring straight at Robin, who was talking to my parents.

"When you get married your husband will be my brother," he said.

"Yes, he will," I said. Having seen that he was staring at Robin, I added, "Do you think that'll be Robin?"

He glanced at me with a serious expression. "No," he said simply. Thomas was extremely sweet, and it sort of shocked me that he would say something like that.

"Why don't you think I'll marry Robin?" I asked.

He shook his head, still looking serious. "Because I don't."

"Do you not want me to?"

"No," he said flatly.

"You better not let him hear you say that?"

His eyes widened slightly, looking a little fearful. "Why not?"

I smiled. "Because it'd probably hurt his feelings. He's been my boyfriend for a long time, and I'm sure he wants to marry me one day."

"Yeah, but you don't want to marry him back."

I glanced at Thomas with an incredulous expression. "What makes you say that?"

"I just know because you're my baby sister, remember?"

I held back a smile. "Thomas, you can't say things like that in front of Robin, you know. It would hurt his feelings."

"I won't," Thomas said.

"Robin has a good family," I added, feeling a little defensive.

"They have lots of money," he said.

"Yes they do."

"Money doesn’t make them good," he said.

Just as he said that, the song was ending. I kissed him on the cheek. "You might be right, but you know you can't repeat that sort of thing in front of him."

"I know."