Final Score (31 page)

Her eyes locked onto his again as he stood in front of her. He was so heartbreakingly handsome, still dressed in dark suit pants and a white shirt, and she really didn’t want to do this tonight. All she wanted to do was lie in his arms, let him make love to her and fall asleep as he held her. She didn’t want to do this now.

‘Look, forget that shower.’ He moved closer, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. ‘I’ll run us a bath. And if you’re really tired then just let me do all the work, okay?’

She shivered slightly as he kissed her slowly, his fingers pushing her knickers ever so slightly down over her thighs. Just a touch, but it was one of the sexiest actions Amber had ever known. ‘Jim…’

‘Sshh. It can wait. Whatever it is, it can wait.’

She watched as he went into the bathroom and turned on the taps, sitting down on the edge of the bath as the water splashed out into the tub.

‘Is it something to do with me?’

Amber stared at him again, swallowing hard. ‘You said it could wait.’

‘Is it something to do with me?’

‘I love you, Jim.’

‘I know you do, baby, and I love you, too. So much that this is scaring me, but I don’t want to know what it is. Okay? Not yet. Whatever’s on your mind, honey, the details really can wait. I just need to know if it’s something to do with me.’

She held his gaze for a few more beats before she nodded slowly.

He hung his head briefly before standing up, walking over to her, pushing her back against the wall before she even had time to realise what was happening, kissing her so hard and with so much force it literally took her breath away. His fingers intertwined with hers above her head, their bodies so close it would have been impossible to get even the thinnest sliver of paper between them, and she could feel herself falling, deeper and deeper, faster and faster, even though she didn’t really know what was going on here. She just knew she wanted it; she wanted
him
.

‘Two minutes,’ he whispered, backing away from her, leaving her gasping for breath, and all she could do was close her eyes and bury her fingers in her hair as she tried to gain some composure. Some measure of calm. But it wasn’t coming. Not any time soon.

She kept her eyes closed as she felt him close to her again, felt his fingers trail down over her collarbone; she kept her eyes closed as she felt him strip what few clothes she still had on away from her body, every inch of her skin breaking out in a million tiny goosebumps with every brush of his fingers against her.

‘Look at me, Amber.’

She slowly opened her eyes, her fingers still entangled in her hair, her breath catching in her throat as she realised he was naked now, too. Tall, toned, and naked and ready to take her anywhere she needed to go. Oh, God, she loved this man so much. So, so much.

Her eyes locked with his, the intensity now flying around the room, making it almost claustrophobic, and she had to take the deepest of breaths before she could feel herself breathe anywhere near normally again.

It was crazy, what he was doing to her – what he’d always done to her. What he would continue to do to her, no matter what. It was all crazy, but she’d take crazy right now. She’d take all that and anything he was about to throw at her because all she could think about now was him.

‘Are you going to walk away from me, Amber?’

She took another deep breath. What was happening here? Because her head was spinning now; she couldn’t think straight. ‘I don’t know,’ she whispered, her eyes still locked on his. ‘Jim…’

But it was useless; any attempt at a conversation was pointless now as he lifted her up, his mouth crashing against hers, and all she could do was cling on and wrap her legs around him as he carried her over to the chest of drawers, sitting her down on it before unwrapping her legs from his hips.

Part of her was scared, and yet another part of her was filled with so much excitement it was bordering on the manic as she felt him gently push her legs apart, his hand lightly running over her, touching her, moving back and forth until she could feel herself becoming wet, and she gasped quietly as he pulled his hand away, pushing into her almost immediately, holding onto her knees to keep her legs apart.

Amber threw back her head, her fingers gripping the chest of drawers as he thrust in and out of her, fast then slow, his mouth covering her breasts, his tongue working a magic she would never get tired of, but all it seemed to do was make the confusion already swimming around inside her ten times harder to deal with.

‘Whatever it is, Amber, I don’t want to know,’ Jim breathed, his hand cupping her cheek, his eyes staring deep into hers and she felt her stomach dip so low she couldn’t catch her breath. ‘Baby, I don’t want to know.’

She couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t get any words out; all she could do was close her eyes again as she felt that beautiful climax begin its journey up her body, washing over her in a succession of waves, causing her to cry out loud as she felt him come, felt him flood into her, and it brought with it a feeling of calm so intense but so brief it was painful.

He pulled her back into his arms and she clung onto him, wrapping her legs back around him and, for some reason she just couldn’t explain, she’d never felt closer to him. Not since Las Vegas had she felt that bond between her and this man so strong she doubted anything could break it.

‘Come on,’ he whispered, pulling away slightly, helping her down from the chest of drawers, his arm remaining firmly around her waist. ‘We’d better go make sure that bath hasn’t run over.’

‘Jim…’

He stopped her from saying anything else by kissing her so slowly she just fell against him. It was as though, with every movement of his mouth against hers, he was erasing every ounce of strength she had left until there was no other option but to give in to him. ‘Not now, okay? Not yet.’

She looked up at him, into those green eyes that had messed with her emotions so many times. And still she couldn’t let him go. ‘Okay.’

He took her hand and she clung onto him as he led her back into the bathroom, her body shivering once more with a heady dose of anticipation and nerves. Excitement and fear. Confusion. They were all emotions she was all too familiar with as far as Jim Allen was concerned.

And as she sank into the warm water, leaning back against him, his legs pulling up around her, she closed her eyes and just let it all wash over her. All the confusion and the doubt and the fear that Ryan just might be right. But he could also be wrong. And she inwardly berated herself for automatically thinking the worst of her husband – a man who’d sworn to her that he’d changed.

She rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes as she felt his breath warm on her skin, his fingers touching her breasts, sending a shiver right through her.

Reaching back behind her, she buried her fingers in his hair, pushing his head down as his lips brushed over her neck, sending more of those shivers coursing through her so fast she almost couldn’t breathe. And when his hand moved down, resting against her stomach for the briefest of seconds before slipping beneath the water, she took a sharp intake of breath, her fingers sliding between his as he touched her.

She kept her eyes closed as their hands moved together, his lips still touching her neck, her shoulder, his other hand on her knee to keep her legs wide open, and she let his hand guide hers as he slowly brought her to another, beautiful climax. A quiet, understated climax that caused her fingers to grip his tight, her body shuddering slightly as he held her against him.

‘I need you in my life, Amber,’ he whispered, resting his hand on her stomach, her fingers still intertwined with his. ‘I need you.’

She couldn’t say anything. Her eyes were closed and she just wanted to stay there, right there, feeling him hold her, knowing he’d make love to her again and everything would be alright because that’s what he did. That’s what she
let
him do – make love to her, and let her believe that everything was alright.

‘Amber, baby, I love you, and if I’ve…’

She pulled her hand away from his and pushed herself up, climbing out of the bath and grabbing her robe from the door, covering herself up. ‘Maybe we need to get some sleep now. It’s been a long day.’ She walked out into the bedroom, the need for an alcohol hit suddenly quite overwhelming.

Making her way downstairs to the kitchen, she could hear him moving around now, and she knew he’d follow her, of course he would. But was now really the right time to confront him?

Finding a bottle of whiskey in one of the kitchen cupboards she poured herself a small measure, just enough to give her that hit she needed. And as she felt that warmth she’d craved flood her stomach she knew he was there now, with her. The man who’d vowed he’d changed. The man she loved beyond anything else, and now the fear she was feeling wasn’t really about what he was going to say to her, it was about her reaction. Did she really have the strength to walk away? If what he told her wasn’t what she wanted to hear, was she strong enough to walk away?

She slowly turned around, putting down her glass and folding her arms as she looked at him leaning back against the wall, hot and handsome in nothing but jeans that hung so sexily on those slim hips of his, his dark hair damp and pushed back off his face.

‘Did you have anything to do with Ryan’s involvement in that betting ring being made public?’ The words were out before she’d even had time to think about whether it was the right thing to do or not. They were out now.

She watched his reaction; watched as he hung his head briefly, his hands dug deep in his pockets. And then he looked up, his eyes meeting hers and she held his stare. To keep her eyes on his would be the only way she’d know if he was telling her the truth.

‘Yes,’ he whispered. That was all he said. Just that one, small word. Yet, for Amber, it was a word that had just kick-started a barrage of feelings all jostling for space inside her. A word that said a thousand things. A word that could change everything. Again.

She couldn’t say anything. All she could do was look at him, and know that, this time, he was being honest. Of course he was being honest, he’d just admitted to doing exactly what Ryan had accused him of doing. Yet she couldn’t decide just how that was making her feel.

‘Amber, I…’

‘Why?’ Still she couldn’t break the stare, and he was the first to look away, just for a brief second, before his eyes once more met hers.

‘I can’t lose you, Amber. Not again…’

‘Why, Jim? Why did you do it?’

This time he broke that stare for longer, his eyes down on the floor, his hands still deep in his pockets. ‘I don’t know. And that’s God’s honest truth.’

‘He didn’t deserve that.’

Jim raised his head slowly. ‘No, maybe he didn’t. But he’s a threat, Amber. To me, to a future I’ve now got within my grasp. A future I’m just not willing to jeopardise any more.’

Amber couldn’t help a small laugh from escaping. ‘So, what? You think that by trying to bring Ryan down, by wrecking his career once and for all, you think
that’s
going to make sure we stay together? He’s the father of my baby, Jim. Do you get that yet?’

‘Yeah, I get it, Amber. I get it every, single, fucking day, and do you know what? Every day it kills me. Every day it tears me apart that you have that bond with him, and I just lost it, okay? I panicked. I saw a way to get to him, to make him vulnerable, and I just went with it. But I fought against doing it, I fought so hard, you have to believe me…’

‘Not hard enough.’ Her voice was quiet, an almost resigned tone to it. ‘You know, there was a time when, despite anything else that was going on, you would never have jeopardised a player’s career. Not a player as talented as Ryan. You would have tried anything else, Jim, I know that. I realise that. But you would never have tried to kill their career.’

‘He’s not my player any more, Amber. He’s not my player and he’s not someone I care all that much about….’

‘But
I
do. I have to, don’t you see that? I have to care about him, for Rico’s sake. Because I am not having that baby grow up without his father being a big part of his life. And if you really can’t get used to that…’

‘He’s still in love with you.’

‘And that isn’t my problem.’

‘You think?’

‘It isn’t my problem. Because I’m not in love with him… Jesus, I am so tired of having to explain this. Especially to you. And I’m not sure I can deal with the insecurity and the paranoia right now.’

‘Don’t walk away from me, Amber. Please.’

She looked at him, her eyes locked on his as he walked towards her. ‘I can do what I like.’

‘Please,’ he whispered, stopping right in front of her. ‘I can’t lose you, baby. I can’t go through that again. I can’t.’

‘You don’t think you’re strong enough? Oh, you’re strong enough, Jim. You can cope with anything, no matter what you think. And you could deal with me walking away.’

He shook his head, his eyes boring deep into hers and she could clearly see the tears building up, which only served to pierce her heart with a pain that was almost unbearable.

‘When did you do it?’

‘Just before we left for Vegas.’

‘Jesus.’ She turned her head away, pushing a hand through her hair.

‘Amber, please…’

She looked at him. ‘When we over there, getting married? When we were over there, you knew…’

‘Amber, baby, I regret ever even thinking about it now, and I need you to believe that, I really need you to believe that.’

‘You lied. Again. After everything you promised me…’

‘And I’m sorry.’

‘Such an empty, meaningless word, Jim. Because it means nothing.’

‘Ryan he… he’s gonna be okay. It wasn’t as bad as I…’ He stopped talking, hanging his head, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

‘I heard you,’ she whispered, her eyes still on him. ‘On the phone. I was outside your office, and I heard you talking to someone… you sounded as though you were almost disappointed that things weren’t quite as bad as they could have been. Disappointed that Ryan wasn’t quite as involved as you’d hoped he would be. Oh, at the time I didn’t really know what you were talking about, not for sure anyway. But Ryan, that seed of doubt had been sown, Jim, and thinking back…’