Authors: Michelle Betham
‘I had to see you, Ryan. I mean, I know I saw you last night, but… I had to see you.’
Ryan felt a wave of hope flood his body as she moved closer. ‘Tell me you’ve changed your mind,’ he whispered. ‘Please, Amber. Please tell me you’ve changed your mind.’
Amber felt tears start to fall silently and slowly down her cheeks and she immediately wiped them away with her fist. ‘I just need you to know I love you, Ryan. I need you to know that.’
Ryan couldn’t stop his voice from shaking, tears of his own starting to fall from his eyes, but at the same time he couldn’t stop smiling as Rico wiped them away with his tiny hand.
‘But it’s not the same. I… it isn’t the same. The way I love you, it isn’t the same way I love him, Ryan.’
‘Oh, Jesus…’ Ryan felt that wave of hope being washed away by a painful despair so strong that breath was catching in his throat again. It hurt like never before, and he’d certainly felt pain over the past few years. ‘Amber, baby, please…’
She shook her head, folding her arms against herself, her eyes still looking deep into his. ‘Maybe this is selfish, you know? Maybe this is the most selfish thing I have ever done, but, when I asked Ronnie to bring me here… when I asked him to do that, I didn’t know what I would do when I saw you. And that’s the truth, Ryan. I didn’t know if I was suddenly going to want to come with you because something happened this morning… something I can’t explain, but it happened, and for a few, brief seconds I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do.’
‘Come with me. I love you both so much, Amber, you know that…’
‘I can’t,’ she whispered. ‘Ryan, I can’t. Now that I’m here… Jesus. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.’
‘No. No, I’m glad you’re here.’ He threw his head back quickly, hoping those tears would fall away, but more kept on coming and all he could do was hold his little boy close and make the most of what were obviously his last few minutes with the two people he loved most in the world. And, for once in his life, one of them wasn’t himself. ‘I’m glad, Amber.’
Their eyes locked together one more time, and she moved a little closer, not stopping him when he reached out for her hand, his fingers wrapping around hers.
‘I love you, Amber.’
She could hardly see through the tears now, and watching him cry was breaking her heart, but she’d had to do this. It was the only way she was going to know for sure that she was making the right decision.
‘I love you, too, Ryan.’
‘Just not the same way you love him, huh?’
She stared deep into those dark, dark-blue eyes of his, trying desperately to get a handle on this pain now. She’d made her decision. Right there, in that very second, she’d made her decision. She shook her head.
‘So he really did win, in the end,’ Ryan whispered.
Amber looked down briefly, pulling her hand out of Ryan’s, closing her eyes for a second, opening them to see tears hit the concrete below. ‘He’s my forever man, Ryan. And I just can’t change that. I can’t.’
Ryan kissed Rico again, stroking his hair as he snuggled in tighter against him. ‘This really is it, then.’
She nodded, her eyes back on his. ‘I guess it is.’ She took another step closer. And as her eyes closed again she felt his mouth touch hers, a kiss so beautiful and so special it broke her heart a million times over, when she’d doubted there was anything left there to break. It was a kiss goodbye that said so much more, and before she knew it she was in his arms, and he was holding her and their baby so tightly it was leaving her breathless. But it was the most beautiful kiss. And a part of her didn’t want it to end. A part of her wanted to stay there forever as all the memories of her time with this man played out in her head, all merging together, making her realise she would never be able to truly let him go. And what that meant for the future, she really couldn’t say. All she knew was that right now she had to say goodbye.
‘Make sure he looks after you. Both of you,’ Ryan whispered, his forehead resting against hers.
‘He will. I promise you, he will.’
His mouth touched hers again, another kiss that sent a shot of pain cutting across her chest.
‘I’ll speak to you soon, okay?’
He nodded, finally pulling away from her. ‘Yeah. Yeah, you will.’ He looked at Rico, who had a slightly confused expression on his little face. ‘Okay, my beautiful little man. Daddy’s got to go now. But, you take care of your mum, you hear me? And be good for your Uncle Jim.’
Amber had to close her eyes again as he said that, biting down on her lip because she was tired of crying. She was tired of it. But when she opened her eyes, she was just in time to see Ryan give Rico the biggest hug, kissing him gently before he handed him back to her.
‘Shouldn’t you be somewhere else?’ he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
‘Yeah… yeah, I probably should… I’d better go, huh? I don’t want you to be late.’
‘Amber, I…Have a good day, okay? And when you walk up that aisle to him you be beautiful and you be strong and you know… you know that if you
ever
need me… if you ever need me, baby, then you just come running. You come running. And I promise you, I’ll be there. I promise you.’
She looked at him, trying to smile, but those tears that wouldn’t stop falling seemed to be putting up a barrier to any other emotion right now. And the only thing she could do before she broke down completely was walk away and not look back.
‘You come running,’ he whispered, watching as she headed back to Ronnie. Watching as his world walked away.
But, this was it now. The result was in. The final score was settled. And as he looked up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the bright sunshine, he watched a plane take off into the air, heading somewhere far away. He knew that’s where his future was now. Away from here. So, yes, this result may have been decided; this score may have been settled. But nothing was ever really final. He just needed to move onto the next game.
I’m an ex-media technician turned rock-music-loving author of hot, sexy romance and chick lit with a kick! My love of books began the second I could read, and some of my happiest memories are of me curled up in bed as a child devouring every Malory Towers and Famous Five book I could get my hands on. As the years progressed I read everything from horror to Harry Potter,
Jackie Collins to Jilly Cooper, but I always knew that I wanted to write romance. I love the idea of escapism – of creating a world in which readers can lose themselves, and characters they’ll want to spend time with. And thanks to inspiration from the aforementioned Ms. Collins, I always knew that I wanted to write romance of the more racy variety, and to be able to do that every day is a dream come true for me.
After a spell living on the beautiful Canarian island of Tenerife, I’m now back in the UK and settled in County Durham with my wonderful husband and my gorgeous West Highland Terrier, Archie. A proud Geordie girl, I adore the north east of England, but I also love the odd glass of wine, Keanu Reeves, a decent TV drama, Peter Kay… and darts!
You can follow me on Twitter @michellebetham, find me on Facebook www.facebook.com/AuthorMichelleBetham or chat to me on my blog http://michellebethamwriter.blogspot.co.uk/.
HarperImpulse is an exciting new range of romance fiction brought to you from the women’s fiction team at HarperCollins. Our aim is to break new talent from debut authors and import the hottest trends from the US, bringing you the very best in romance. Whether that is through short reads for your mobile phone or epic sagas that span the generations we want to proudly publish romance fiction that gets everybody talking.
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