Final Score (15 page)

‘Nothing, mate. Absolutely nothing is up with me.’

‘Where you going?’

Ryan looked at his friend. A friend he knew cared about him. And he’d never forget how instrumental Gary and Debbie had been in making sure he hadn’t gone too far down a road that had almost ruined him, but he could handle all of that now. He didn’t need looking after, not any more. ‘I’m going to enjoy myself, Gary. That’s where I’m going.’

‘Ryan…’

He swung around to face Gary. ‘I can look after myself, Gary, okay? I don’t need you or anyone else hanging over me, waiting for me to do something stupid, I don’t need that. I don’t. I can look after myself.’

‘You sure about that?’

Ryan said nothing for a couple of beats, his eyes boring into Gary’s as a brief but fleeting moment of doubt flashed through his mind. But then he remembered what he’d just been told – Amber and Jim were getting married. Again. And the only sound he could hear was the hammering of that final nail into the coffin of a relationship he knew he could never have now. It was over. And he couldn’t deal with that right now. Not sober. Not clear-headed. ‘I’m sure.’

*

‘Did we do the right thing? Announcing our engagement during that press conference?’ Amber wrapped her arms around Jim’s waist from behind as he slid his tie off, throwing it over the back of the chair.

‘We’re doing this properly, Amber. No more secrets, no more lies. No more pretending.’

She rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes as his fingers slid between hers. ‘No more pretending…’ she whispered, trailing off as he slowly turned her around, his mouth meeting hers in a kiss so gentle it was hard to believe he was the same man who’d caused her so much heartache for most of her life. Any sane woman would have walked away decades ago. But she obviously wasn’t sane. And she could never walk away. She’d tried, and she’d tried hard, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t walk away.

‘No more pretending.’ He smiled, and she felt her heart dance that dance reserved only for him as his handsome face lit up and those eyes she’d found so hard to trust for so long were conveying nothing but honesty. Truth. Something she’d found so difficult to get from him. Dare she believe that, this time, everything really was going to be okay?

‘I love you so much, Jim.’

‘I love you, too, baby. You have no idea…’ She closed her eyes as his lips touched hers again, and she buried her fingers in his hair, pushed her body against his as the kiss deepened, the intensity growing by the second. But then, for some reason she just couldn’t fathom, she pulled away.

‘You okay?’ Jim frowned, watching as she walked away, into the en suite.

‘I guess all of this, the press conference, me and you…’ She turned to look at him as he leaned against the doorpost. ‘It’s a lot to take in, Jim. The speed at which it’s all happened…’

‘Do you want to slow things down?’ He’d smiled as he’d asked that, and she couldn’t help but return that smile, leaning back against the sink as she brushed her teeth.

‘No,’ she replied, through a mouthful of toothpaste.

‘Okay…’ He walked into the bathroom, his hands in his pockets as he stood in front of her. ‘So, what’s up?’

‘Nothing’s up, Jim.’ She turned briefly to spit toothpaste into the sink, quickly wiping her mouth with a tissue before turning back to face him. And she couldn’t stop another slow smile from escaping. ‘It’s strange, that’s all.’

‘What is?’ He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, his eyes locked onto hers.

‘Feeling like I can finally trust you.’

‘That’s strange?’

‘Yeah, that’s strange.’

He moved a step closer, and all she was aware of now was the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body as it almost touched hers. ‘Well, I guess we’ve both got a few new things we need to get used to.’ His voice was low, practically a whisper, and she felt her breath catch in her throat as he moved even closer, his hand on her hip now, resting gently on the thin material of her short nightdress.

‘I guess we have,’ she murmured, her fingers gripping the sink behind her as his body finally touched hers, his hand sliding up and under that nightdress, making her gasp as it came into contact with her skin.

‘All I’ve ever wanted is this, Amber.’ His hand was moving higher now, cupping her bottom as he kissed her neck, covering it in tiny, tiny kisses, each one making her gasp out loud, again and again, until she could stand it no longer.

Slipping her hand around the back of his neck she pushed his head down so their lips met, at the same time pulling herself up onto the edge of the sink, opening her legs to let him in between, wrapping them around him the second he was there. He held onto her tightly, keeping her steady as he tried to manoeuvre inside her, and he was there within seconds, one hand on her bottom the other in the small of her back as he pulled her forward slightly, pushing her further onto him.

Amber couldn’t stop the cries from escaping as her legs gripped him tighter, her hands behind her as she leaned back slightly, trying to avoid the taps digging in because she wanted nothing to detract from what was happening. It was a little uncomfortable, but he was inside her so she didn’t care that her bottom was numb or that her arms ached with the effort of keeping herself steady. All she cared about was that feeling of complete calm he was giving her. That was all that mattered.

His hands had moved now, sliding further up under her nightdress, his thumbs flicking over her nipples, sending her crazy, and she bit down on her lip as he stripped her naked before lowering his head to kiss her breasts.

She could feel it now, the almost burning sensation that began at the tips of her toes and travelled slowly up her body, creating that white-hot pain, that beautiful rush she couldn’t get enough of. She could feel it already beginning its journey and even though it was far sooner than she would have liked, she gave into it, pushing her hips against him, taking him deeper as she leaned back further, screaming out his name as he came fast and hard, his fingers digging into her as his body tensed up, his face buried in her shoulder; until he’d given her all he had to give. Until he was spent.

‘Jesus, Jim…’

He pulled back slightly as he slowly withdrew, shaking his head, smiling as he sank to his haunches and Amber gripped the edges of the sink even tighter. She knew what was coming next, her eyes closing as his mouth touched her, and she bit down on her lip again, flinching just a touch as his tongue flicked over the most sensitive part of her body, causing her to moan out loud. She could feel those tingles returning, coming back to give her another wave of intense pleasure and she closed her eyes, her head thrown right back as his hands pushed her legs further apart, his tongue probing deeper, pushing harder, until she had no option left but to give in, to let it happen, her cries echoing around the white-tiled bathroom, her whole body shuddering with the most exquisite shivers, despite the fact she was probably the most uncomfortable she’d ever been during sex.

She kept her eyes closed as those tingles slowly subsided and the shivers wore off, until she was left with nothing but the most beautiful feeling of calm.

‘You okay?’

She opened her eyes and smiled at him as he gently lifted her down, his arm staying firmly around her waist. ‘Oh, I’m just fine.’

He returned her smile, and she felt those stomach flips and those erratic heart beats and every other cliché in the book take over as he looked at her. She was sixteen all over again, in the arms of her handsome footballer, her first love; her world. She was sixteen all over again.

‘We’re really doing this, aren’t we?’ she whispered, stroking his cheek with her fingertips.

He nodded, kissing her slowly, pulling her back inside that web she’d never quite managed to fully escape from. ‘We’re really doing this.’

She stared up into his eyes, cocking her head slightly. For so long, this man had been her life, and for a brief second or two she wondered what it could have been like if she’d tried harder to give others a chance and if she’d really tried to push him to the back of her mind in the way she should have done. Could she have made herself forget him? Could she have saved herself years – decades – of pain and heartache? Could she have stopped hating him for being the man she thought he was, when he didn’t really seem to be that man at all?

‘I love you, Amber.’

She blinked rapidly as his voice broke into her thoughts, his eyes staring deep into hers. ‘I know you do.’

‘Do you? Baby, do you really believe that now, because…’

She put her fingers to his lips, shaking her head. ‘I’m not going to do anything that could mean I lose you again. I’m not going to do that. Because I love you, too, okay? I love you so much I can’t even think straight some days. And the thought of you…’ She looked down, watching as his hand caught hers, holding it tightly against his chest. ‘It’s just going to take time, that’s all.’ She raised her head slowly until her eyes once more met his. ‘Everything you kept from me, all the things you did when… when there was no need, Jim. We could have been together all those years ago if you’d just talked to me.’

She had no idea why all this was spilling out of her now, but suddenly she felt almost angry that so many years had been wasted. Years they could have spent together. Years in which they could have been happy instead of all the fighting and the anger and the hurt. All that pain could have been avoided.

‘You should have just talked to me.’

He looked down briefly, watching as his thumb gently stroked her knuckles. ‘We can’t change the past, Amber.’

‘And I can’t help feeling cheated out of a life I could have had.’

‘We can have that life now, baby. I’m sorry for what I did, and I’m sorry for what I didn’t do. I am so, so sorry. But that life we could have had, we can have it all now, and I will do everything I can to make it up to you. I promise.’

She shook her head again, looking away. ‘No promises, Jim. I still don’t want promises.’

She pulled away from him, picking her nightdress up off the floor and slipping it back on before she walked out into the bedroom.

‘Amber…’

‘I’m tired, Jim. It’s been a long day.’

She sat down on the edge of the bed. She couldn’t get the image of Ryan out of her head now, the expression on his face when she’d walked in the door, and it pulled at her heart. It made her sad because he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any of it. And she understood how upset and angry he was feeling at the thought of being so far away from Rico, because she knew
she
just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be away from her baby for days on end with no idea of when she’d be able to see him again. Ryan loved Rico more than even he realised, she could see it whenever she saw the two of them together. That baby boy had changed him, but was what she was about to do going to undo all of that?

‘This is why we need to get away from here,’ Jim said quietly, sitting down beside her.

She turned her head to look at him, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. She knew what he meant.

‘He’s a constant distraction, to both of us.’

‘He isn’t a distraction…’

‘He is, Amber. Honey, he is. As long as we stay here he is always gonna be there, messing with your head…’

‘He doesn’t mess with my head, Jim.’

‘That’s
all
he does, Amber.’

‘And you never did that? You never messed with my head?’

‘I just want us to be able to have a chance this time. That’s all I want.’

She looked at him. ‘And you don’t think that’s all
I
want, too? But I can’t just wipe the past away, Jim. Too much has happened. Ryan and I have a child together now. And that guarantees that he will never really be out of my life, no matter how far away from here we are.’

‘You having second thoughts?’

She stared at him, taking in his handsome face, that strong jawline, that stubble he always seemed to carry that was greying slightly now as he got older, but that only seemed to make him all the more sexy in her eyes. ‘No, baby, of course not. Like I said, I’m just going to need time, that’s all.’

He slipped his hand into hers and she leaned in against him, closing her eyes as she breathed him in. The only man she’d ever wanted. The only man she’d ever really loved. The only man she wanted to be with. And she couldn’t allow anything else to come between them, not now. Not ever.

Chapter Ten

Jim stood on the touchline, his hands in the pockets of his tracksuit bottoms as he stared straight ahead of him, out onto the training pitch, where every player except Ryan Fisher was busy training hard for the forthcoming matches taking place over the Christmas period. One of those games would be Jim’s final game in charge of Newcastle Red Star before he and Amber made the move down to London.

‘Colin!’ He shouted over to his tough-talking Scottish head coach. Jim’s hands remained in his pockets, his eyes still focused on the training pitch. ‘As soon as Fisher gets here send him up to my office, okay?’

‘No word from him this morning, then?’ Colin asked, kicking a stray ball back onto the pitch.

Jim shook his head. ‘Is Blandford here?’

‘Over there.’ Colin indicated one of the goals, where Gary was practising defending free kicks. ‘Do you want a word?’

‘Get him over here.’

‘Blandford!’ Colin yelled. Gary stopped what he was doing and turned around, his hands on his hips as he squinted at Colin. ‘Over here, now! The boss wants a word!’

Gary jogged over to the touchline, stopping just in front of Jim, whose stance hadn’t changed. He still had his hands in his pockets, his expression stoic. ‘Something up, boss?’

‘Where’s Fisher?’

Gary let out a small laugh. ‘How the hell should
I
know? I’m not his frigging babysitter.’

Jim’s eyes narrowed as he stared at his defender. ‘You live across the street from him. You’re best friends. He talks to you.’

‘Does he?’

Jim raised an eyebrow. ‘Where is he?’

Gary rolled his eyes and sighed, folding his arms. ‘We went out last night, okay?’