Film Star (12 page)

Sean led me out into the middle of the red carpet, and it seemed as if the crowd must only have been made up of girls like me because they erupted in a frenzied scream. Sean waved at them and blew them kisses, without letting go of my hand. In fact, holding it so tightly that I wondered if he hadn't been joking after all when he said he needed someone's hand to hold.

Finally we walked past the bank of press photographers, their flashes ignited like a firework display. I'd seen soap actors and actresses doing this thousands of times—stop for the paparazzi, knowing exactly how to stand and exactly where to smile. I'd even done it myself once or twice on my way into soap awards, not that my photos ever appeared in any papers.

But now I was here, living my dream, all I wanted to do was to stand as far behind Sean as I could and wait for it to be over.

“So who's your girlfriend?” one of the photographers called out. Sean laughed and pulled me forward so that I was standing, blinking in the full glare of the cameras.

“Don't you know?” he shouted back. “This is Ruby Parker! From
Kensington Heights!
She's in my new movie too. Keep an eye out for Ruby; she's the next big thing.”

“Sorry, Ruby,” one photographer called. “Didn't recognise you there in a posh frock.”

“Give us a smile, Ruby,” another one called. So I did, and it didn't feel too bad. I smiled again and the click of flashes went off every time that I did. By the third or fourth smile I was getting quite into it.

But I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

“Give her a kiss then, Sean,” a third one shouted, and before I knew it, Sean Rivers did kiss me. And it wasn't Sean my friend, it was THE Sean Rivers. Kissing ME, Ruby Parker. In front of all those people.

It wasn't a romantic kiss or anything like that. Sean just put his hand on my waist and turned me towards him before landing a quick peck on my lips—it was over in less than a second. But in that second a thousand TV and photographic cameras were pointed at us, all of them capturing that moment and freezing it into an everlasting kiss.

“Oh dear,” I said to Sean, who was giving the crowd one last wave. “What if they print a photo of us kissing?”

“Does it matter?” Sean said, and I realised that in our whole week together I hadn't talked about Danny once, and he didn't know I had a boyfriend who might get the wrong idea about those pictures. “Anyway,” Sean continued, “they're not going to put you and me in the papers, Ruby, not when they've got Imogene Grant to put there. Don't worry about it; it doesn't mean anything.”

Just then the rain really started to come down and at last Sean and I ran inside where Lisa was waiting for us.

“Good job, guys,” Lisa said. “That kiss was very cute. I think you really drummed up some interest in our film. Now follow me and I'll show you the way to the party.”

“Don't we get to see the film?” I asked her, still half-blinded by the flash bulbs and reeling from the intensity of the red-carpet experience.

“Don't be dumb,” Sean said. “No one who's anyone ever sees the film at these things. We have our own so-called VIP party to go to, although they usually let in anyone who's ever been famous for fifteen minutes. And then later the masses—competition winners and corporate groups who have seen the film—come in and try and catch a glimpse of us beyond the ropes. That's how it works.”

“Oh,” I said, a little disappointed. “I really wanted to see the film.”

“Well, you'll have to go another day, Ruby,” Sean told me as he bent his head close to mine. “Cos all we're doing today is showing our faces at the party. We make our excuses and then we break out, head off to your friend's crib and party hard.”

“I did tell you it's just pizzas and maybe a DVD, didn't I?” I asked him. “It won't be a party, party. It's just Nydia, her family, Anne-Marie and my boyfriend Danny, he will be there. It won't be an actual party.”

“Ruby Parker,” Sean said, winking at me, “don't you know by now—
everything's
a party when I'm involved.”

When we walked into the roped-off VIP part of the premiere party, my mum and Sean's dad were waiting for us. Sean's dad had this huge grin plastered on his face which reminded me of Sean's smile, only without any of the warmth and, well, the happiness that really should go with huge smiles.

“Darling!” Mum said, her cheeks flushed. “You were wonderful. Really great!”

“Was I?” I said—wondering how she knew.

“Oh, yes, we saw you on the TV.” She gestured at one of the many screens that were positioned around the room. “It was live on the London evening news.”

“Was it?” I asked her uneasily, wondering if Danny and Nydia had been watching the news while they were still waiting for me to turn up. I looked at my borrowed diamond-encrusted watch that was worth fifteen thousand pounds. It said that I was now an hour and forty minutes late for Nydia's party. I didn't have any money or my phone on me, so I couldn't ring them and
tell them I was planning to come. And now there was every chance they would have seen me and Sean on the evening news and would be thinking I had forgotten all about them completely. And I suppose, in a way, I sort of had. I sort of wanted to.

I looked around at the party thronged with celebrities from lists A to Z. Sean was right, they seemed to have let most of the UK's celebrities in, all looking for even a sniff of publicity. As I wondered how Sean and I would ever break out of this crowd, I realised that my plan not to tell Nydia that I would be late wasn't just because I didn't want to upset her, it was because even though it meant letting a friend down, I had wanted to be at this premiere tonight and I thought that Nydia wouldn't have understood. And even though I left messages for Danny asking him to call me, I could have easily texted him and told him what was happening, but I didn't.

I didn't because deep down I wanted to keep this new life, this new and exciting life where I was someone so different and important, far, far away from my old life where I was just Ruby Parker, mid-to-low-popularity-ranking ex-soap schoolgirl actress who was always getting picked second from last for netball. I had thought I could keep my new life and my old separate and still have both, being a different version
of Ruby Parker in each part. I suppose the reason I wanted to keep them apart was because I was afraid of the way I was changing and afraid that my friends wouldn't like it.

Being a part of
The Lost Treasure of King Arthur
had made me see myself differently, had made me have more confidence in my acting and more confidence in myself. And even when I walked down the red carpet as terrified as a person could be, now that I had done it, I had changed a little bit more. Because I knew that if I had the chance to do it again, I would be better at it.

But the sick and guilty feeling I had in the pit of my stomach at the thought of seeing Nydia, Danny and Anne-Marie watching me on TV, and knowing that I hadn't exactly lied to them but hadn't exactly told them the truth, made me realise the truth: that this life, the glamorous life, wasn't my
real
life, and that I didn't want to throw away my old friends so easily for something that would be over all too soon and might never come back.

I knew I had to get to Nydia's as soon as possible.

I turned to look at Sean, who was in a very close and quiet conversation with his father. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it looked to me as if they were arguing about something. Or rather, Sean's father was
arguing, and Sean, head bowed, face closed, was listening as if his dad's words were as heavy and hard as hail stones.

I hovered for a moment longer, hoping that Sean would look up and see me, but he didn't. It was no good; I decided I would just have to tell Mum that I needed to go to Nydia's and ask her to lend me the money for a taxi. After all, Sean's idea to keep it all one big secret seemed rather silly now.

I turned back to talk to Mum but she had gone, drifted off amidst the glittering cloud of satin and silk created by celebrities dressed for a big night out. I could just see the back of her bobbing and nodding as she cornered poor Jeremy Fort again.

Looking back at Sean, I could see he was still entangled in conversation with his father. Pat Rivers' face looked so deadly that I was certain Sean's plans to accompany me to Nydia's party were officially over. I wanted to stay close to Sean and make sure that he was OK but I also needed to get to Nydia's and see her and Danny, so I decided to make my way towards Mum.

“Ruby, darling!” A familiar voice sounded like a siren in my ear. And I heard the “mwah! mwah!” of a kiss delivered about a centimetre away from each cheek.

I made myself smile at Brett Summers, who officially
confirmed that this was a VIP party that anyone could get into.

“How lovely to see you, darling!” Brett gushed as if she hadn't tried to get me fired from
Kensington Heights
and finish my acting career before it had even begun. “And you look wonderful! I can't believe how you have changed since I saw you last—my little girl all grown up! A real little lady and working on a movie now with Imogene Grant!” It seemed as if Brett couldn't finish a sentence without a verbal exclamation mark tagged on the end. I nodded and wondered how quickly I could escape her clutches.

“Mmmm,” I said.

“Of course, I knew her when she was
no one,
darling!” Brett fluttered her false lashes at me. “I don't suppose she remembers me, does she? Does she ever talk about me?”

I took a step back from Brett, who seemed to be slightly lopsided and holding a glass of champagne in one hand at an angle that would have caused it to spill if it still had any champagne left in it.

“Um…not really, no,” I said. Brett's painted-on smile turned sour for a moment and I think she would have frowned if her forehead hadn't been frozen by some chemical cosmetic procedure.

“Well, anyway, I'm so glad I saw you because, well, I've always thought that I had a hand in making you
what you are today, and I feel as if really I passed the torch on to you—the new generation.” I tried not to laugh out loud. “But I want you to know, Ruby, that now it's up to you to help me, your mentor. I've had no luck since I was…since I left the show. So I was wondering if you could talk to Mr Dubrovnik for me about finding me a part in your film?” I wanted to say she'd be perfect for the part of the mummified killer zombie-witch and wouldn't even need make-up, but I didn't because I couldn't quite bring myself to be that rude. And besides, Brett when she's angry is far scarier than a mummified killer zombie-witch.

“I don't think that I…” I had begun when Sean appeared at my side.

“Excuse me,” Sean said. I could see with one glance at his tense white face that he was very angry and upset. “I'm sorry to interrupt,” Sean said, his voice polite but tight, “but Ruby and I have an engagement we have to get to, right, Ruby?”

“Right,” I said to Sean. I flashed my fakest smile at Brett. “Must dash! Cheerio!”

“Oh!” Brett looked affronted. “Well, Ruby, if you could just talk to…Ruby!”

But I was already following Sean as he weaved in and out of the partygoers, keeping his head down as he
went, avoiding any chance of having to stop and make small talk. I glanced over my shoulder at Mum, who was still talking to Jeremy. I saw her put her hand on his shoulder and toss her red hair as she laughed. A moment ago I had wanted to tell her that I was leaving but now suddenly I did not.

If she was happy to go off and make a fool of herself over Jeremy without even wondering where I was then let her find out later that I've gone. Suddenly I didn't care if she worried. I wanted her to; I wanted her to think about something else apart from Jeremy Fort for five seconds.

We left the noise and the heat of the party, turning into a long corridor as I rushed after Sean who was stalking towards the back of the building.

“Sean!” I called after him. “Are you OK?”

“I'm fine,” he said, which was obviously a lie.

“Where are we going?” I asked him, hitching my blue silk skirt up a little further so that I could lengthen my steps and catch him up. “What's the plan?”

Sean stopped dead and I ran into the back of him. He turned around and helped me steady myself before taking a deep breath and trying to find his smile, but it seemed only just about there.

“I'm sorry, Ruby Parker,” he said, his voice low. “It's
just my dad. He just doesn't get that I'm still only a kid, you know? The minute I got to the party, the second after we walked the red carpet, he's laying into me about kissing you—that stupid little kiss that didn't mean a thing. All he cares about is that I might upset my fans, who might not buy my merchandise or see my movies any more because they think you're my girlfriend. Well, I tell you what—I wish they wouldn't, because then I'd be out of a job! And then he's telling me about another project he's agreed for me and another one after that.” Sean ran his fingers through his hair. “Ruby, I've got the next three years of my life planned out for me already, and during those three years between working and studying not once is there any time just for me to be…me.”

Sean looked quickly at his feet and I got the feeling that he was trying not to cry.

“But you do want to be an actor, don't you?” I asked him in wonder, because his life sounded just about perfect to me. Sean dug his hand into his trouser pockets and shook his head without looking up.

“You know what?” he said, finally looking me in the eye. “I'd rather stay home and read a book, or play football in the park with my friends. I'd rather do my homework in
one
place, go to school in
one
place and
live in
one
place. I'd like to have a dog. I'd like to make friends I could keep longer than three months. I'd like to meet a girl to take to the prom and know guys to hang out with while she's dancing. I didn't choose this life, Ruby, it chose me. And now it feels like it's…smothering me or…Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about.” I reached out and held his hand.

“Then just leave it, Sean, just stop,” I said. Sean shrugged and chewed his lip.

“That's just it,” he said. “I can't. Dad won't let me. I'm making him richer than he ever dreamed he could be. And it's like he keeps saying, I've got the family to think of. The family needs me to keep working. Well, I'm an only kid and I don't see my mom any more so he
is
my family.” I hesitated to ask my next question as I looked at Sean struggling to keep his anger and hurt under control.

“Why don't you see your mum?” I asked him eventually. “Can't you tell her how unhappy you are and tell her to come and get you?” From the look on Sean's face I had a sudden terrible feeling. “Oh, Sean,” I whispered. “Is she dead?”

Sean surprised me by laughing, a mirthless, unhappy bark of a laugh.

“Worse than dead,” he said bitterly. “She doesn't want to know me. Hasn't done since her and Dad divorced. I
don't know exactly how it happened, I was still pretty young at the time, but it was soon after I got famous during that commercial that they broke up. I woke up one night and Dad was packing all my stuff into a bag. He said we were going on vacation. I didn't realise until the next day that we had gone without Mom.” I watched Sean's gaze as he seemed to focus on a distant memory. “They used to scream and argue but I can't really remember why, only that one minute Mom wanted and loved me and the next minute she was gone. There was this big court thing—I remember having to tell a social worker or someone that I wanted to live with my dad. I mean what else could I say? I knew she didn't want me. She couldn't have because she didn't try and keep me, she didn't fight for me.”

Sean's voice strained under the weight of emotions he was feeling and I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. We stood for a second or two longer in the corridor and I watched Sean repeat a routine I was beginning to feel he had performed more than once. He seemed to doggedly put himself back together piece by piece until at last he lifted his chin, looked me in the face and turned on his smile at full brightness.

“Let's forget about all that,” he said as if we had just had a normal conversation. “Come on, Ms Parker—it's getting late and we've got a party to get to!”

Somehow I knew that forcing Sean to talk more wouldn't help him, and besides, I didn't think I would have anything helpful to say to him. Of all the things that had happened in my life, the sad things and difficult things, at least I knew that both of my parents loved me and supported me. I had no idea what to say to someone who seemed to be frightened of one parent and never saw the other one. So I followed Sean to the back of the building down to the lower levels and out through a fire exit. It was amazingly easy to run away. Not one person stopped us; the people that passed didn't even look at us. When the alarm went off on the fire exit door, people just walked past as if nothing had happened, as if it wasn't unusual for two teenagers in evening dress, one of whom was world famous, to be wandering about the back entrance of the Odeon Leicester Square. And maybe in London it wasn't.

We came out at the back of the cinema in a narrow alley that runs along the edge of China Town, and while we had been inside it had got dark and the rain had stopped, leaving black puddles in the road reflecting the glare of the brightly coloured lights back up at the night. I breathed in the delicious smell of crispy duck and my tummy rumbled.

“Taxi!” Sean hailed a black cab that was just passing the bottom of the alley.

“You got any money?” he asked me.

“Nope,” I said as we climbed in. Sean grinned at me and produced a crocodile-skin wallet from his jacket pocket.

“Good job I ‘borrowed' Daddy's wallet then, isn't it?” he said.