Fighting For You (14 page)

It didn’t matter if it was the first thing in the morning or the first time I saw Corey that day (on the rare occasion we didn’t sleep together) it was always the same -  Corey’s hands cupped my face, mine held tight to his waist and we kissed until we had to let go.  Then he would squat down and place a firm but gentle hand against my growing belly and kiss our little bean. 

Then Corey would say, “Good morning, sweet one.  Daddy loves you very much and can’t wait until the day I get to hold you in my arms.” 

Each and every time, I felt a lump of tears form.  My chest tightened and a few stray tears would always roll free.  I spent all day long talking to my baby - it didn’t matter if I was at work, in the grocery store or
in the comfort of my home.  I never held back a single thought and, once Corey decided what I did wasn’t committable to an asylum, he joined in. 

Corey and I decided to work somewhat different schedules—okay, I should say Corey decided.  During the day, while I was at the Inn, he did some things around the bar but, most of the time, he did things for me and the baby.  It started small. He would come by the Inn and bring me lunch, maybe go take my car and get it washed and fill it up with gas.  Then I would come home and the little mess from the night before was picked up or new groceries filled the kitchen. And the dishes were always cleaned and put away.  I tried arguing with him, insisting that I did not need him to do all of this.  Of course, that didn’t matter—Corey had no intention of stopping. So I did the same. 

After I was off work and Corey was officially on the job, I would spend my time at his place.  And even though he demanded I kick my feet up and rest, I didn’t listen.  I went around his room and collected all the dirty clothes, sheets, pillowcases and head to the Laundromat.  I’d wash, fold, bring it back and then put it all away.  There very rarely was something dirty around his place, but I made sure if there was—that I took care of it.  Then the next morning, I would wake up and make breakfast for the both of us.  My pancakes and eggs could never compare to his, but each day I got better. 

Corey tried to scold me about everything I did, but that didn’t stop me.  He’d give me a foot massage after a long day and, in return, I’d work out all the knots from his shoulders.  And as good as it felt to have Corey’s large and very talented hands rub and massage any part of my body, I had to admit, it felt better taking care of him.  The last time I was in town, I was selfish.  I took all Corey offered, but could hardly give him my heart in return.  I wasn’t that girl anymore—I refused to be. 

While everything with Corey was improving, other aspects of my life weren’t.  I’d get to work in the morning and already have half a dozen voicemails.  My favorites were from the woman’s prison that still housed my mother, because at least I didn’t have to hear her voice.  Those were the easy messages to get and the worst were from my Gram.  One message would be her apologizing for her behavior and wanting to make things better.  The next one, usually left within twenty minutes, would be just about the opposite.  The familial whiplash was the reason that, every morning when I started work, it usually began with me puking up the contents of my stomach. 

Before I told Gram that I was pregnant, I saw a glimmer into the woman I loved.  The woman I could spend time with, joke around with and count on.  I only wished I had that Violet back—not the one whose words could shatter my heart with the tone alone. 

My Grandpa at least checked in frequently.  He understood why I hadn’t been around and why I wasn’t returning Gram’s calls.  A few times over the weeks, we met up for lunch without her knowing.  Each time he glowed over any baby news I had, even if it was just the little way it would kick me when I hummed while doing dishes.  He not only gave me his blessing with Corey, but each time slipped me a couple hundred dollars.  I would shake my head and turn it down until I was blue in the face, but he always won out. 

He only had to say one thing and I shut up.  He would hold the envelope in front of my face and, with a stern look would say, “This is for my great-grandchild.  If you don’t need the money, save it for the day the baby needs it.” 

I eventually took it and placed it into a savings account just for the baby. 

Minus the issues with the women I shared a bloodline with, everything was great.  I had Corey, my Grandpa, Bailey, and the Inn.  Even though I missed Gabriella terribly, we kept in contact and I was creating many new friendships.  Sanders officially designated himself as the baby’s uncle and, because of that, we grew closer than expected.  The real surprise, though, was Alex. Corey told me that Alex never put down roots and, since they met, he would stay somewhere for a short period of time and move on. 

I got the sense this was a sensitive topic that I shouldn’t ask more about, so I reluctantly bit my tongue.  That’s why I was blown away when I found out that Corey had not only hired Alex on officially at the bar, but made him manager.  Not only that, but Alex signed a year lease at an apartment complex minutes away.  Corey didn’t hide his surprise either, but one night after closing, Alex looked at me and shrugged.

“It just feels right being here.  It feels like home.”  It was from that point on that our friendship soared.

Every day it was me, the boys and my sweet baby.  It was everything I could dream of … except there was one thing that still made my stomach and heart twist with the sinking feeling that something was wrong.  Every now and then, I would notice a change in Corey.  His calm and collected attitude was replaced with a hurried and almost spastic one.  He would check his phone the second he thought no one was watching and never let it out of his sight.  I mentioned it to Alex one night, but he assured me everything was fine.  I spent hours trying to convince myself that Alex was right.

But something told me he wasn’t.  Something told me this was nothing but the calm before the storm. 

20 Weeks

The month since my last ultrasound felt like it took an eternity, but now that I was twelve hours from finding out—I could hardly believe it.  This past month with Corey had been surreal. To have everything that I ever wanted and more was a dream come true.  Not only had things seemed better than ever with Corey and my new friends, but it felt like I had a family back.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t my blood family; I still wished that my mom and Gram were functional enough to enjoy this time of my life alongside me.  The family I did have was the one with Corey, his sisters and even his mother.  Corey’s mother, Charlene, had taken up a time share and didn’t want to live up North during the frigid winters.  Despite not actually meeting her face-to-face, we still talked and she checked in to see how things were with the two of us and her first grand baby. 

The way they accepted me, even though Corey and I weren’t officially together, was heartwarming.  And now that things were on the up-and-up with us, talking with his sisters became a daily event. 

My relationship with Karly and Abby used to be great and, after my sudden disappearance, I didn’t know if things would ever get back to the way they used to be.  This month, I had my answer—no. They wouldn’t be that way. They’d be better.  Karly, Abby and even Lainey treated me like I was one of them.  As an only child, there were countless times over the years that I fantasized about being a part of a big family filled with brothers and sisters.  For the first time in my life, I had both.  Alex and Sanders filled the brother slots, while Karly, Abby and Lainey were the sisters I had always wanted. 

*~*~*~*~*

The next morning was the big twenty week ultrasound and Corey was like a kid on Christmas Eve.  If it had been his choice, we would have been asleep by seven that night with the hopes of that morning coming even sooner.  At one point, he made a joke about camping out there overnight and, as the night wore, on I realized it probably wasn’t a joke. 

The one thing about being pregnant was I started to realize that there was always a part of me that would be tired.  Most days, I didn’t have the dire need to take a nap, but I still ended up passing out at some point.  Whether the nap was for twenty minutes or a couple hours, I would wake up and still feel tired enough to sleep.  So when Corey was pleading with me the night before the ultrasound to go to bed
before most elementary school kids were supposed to, a part of me was about to say yes.  It was right about then that the sisters took turns making my phone buzz incessantly.

Karly and I spent most days’ texting back and forth about everything, ranging from pregnancy symptoms or cravings we were having to a random song on the radio.  Today, though, the messages were non-stop; most of them consisted of her begging to come with and me responding with Corey’s persistent ‘no.’  Then she would give up for a bit and ask if we were going to find out the sex, what we hoped for, and if we would call her the second we found out.  A few times, I had to just about dive across the living room to keep Corey from texting Karly to get her to stop bugging me. 

I happened to love talking to Karly and I knew it didn’t bother Corey that the two of us talked.  I had a feeling it had more had to do with the fact that Karly would always be the little sister, whose sole purpose was to drive her brother crazy.  The funniest thing was when Karly stopped texting. Within twenty minutes, I got Lainey’s text wishing us luck.  I had never been as close with Lainey, but I was still happy to know she was accepting me.  Lainey and I exchanged messages for a good hour and when I looked at the clock, I saw it was just about nine pm. 

I turned to Corey and had just opened my mouth to tell him we should go to sleep when my phone rang.  Corey stood up with a frustrated growl and threw his hands in the air. 

“Seriously!?” he asked with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m no longer claiming any of them as my sisters!  And I’m not letting any of them see my baby!”

I could hardly answer Abby’s call since I had been giggling ceaselessly since Corey’s outburst.  Throughout the entire hour long call with her, Corey paced around the house, guessing her questions before they were asked.  To keep her from thinking I was laughing at her for no reason, I had to put the call on speaker.  Listening to the sibling banter had me just about rolling on the floor laughing with tears in my eyes. 

I wished I could have taken a video of this moment. That way, not only would I ever forget it, but I could then share it with my little love one day.  I could tell them how very excited their aunties were to see more pictures of the newest addition to our family. 

I could hardly believe that last time I went to my appointment, I was scared and alone.  Yet this time, I was surrounded with so much love that I could hardly remember what being alone ever felt like. 

Eventually, Abby and I got off the phone and the instant I did, Corey snatched it away.  I half expected him to mass text his sisters and scold them but he didn’t.  Instead, he turned it off then held his hand out to me.

“Can we please go lie down together now?” I smiled wide and nodded.  I crossed the room to where he stood and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. 

“Yes, Baby. Let’s go to sleep.” 

I reached up on my toes and pressed my lips to his.  He deepened the kiss and, in one swift movement, I was scooped up into his arms.  I squealed against his lips while he couldn’t bite back his smile; even then we didn’t back our mouths away. 

“I said lie down. I didn’t say anything about us going to sleep,” his husky voice whispered into my ear.  The heat from his breath tickled and sent an electrifying shiver throughout my body.

“Good, because sleep is the last thing on my mind right now,” I retorted. 

Corey let out a deep, throaty chuckle before carrying me to our bedroom.  With a kick of his foot, the door was closed and I was thrown on the bed.  In that same second, any part of me that was tired faded away and was replaced by the dire need that only this man could satisfy.

*~*~*~*~*

I flipped casually through a magazine, retaining nothing that I read.  The butterflies in my stomach were making concentrating on anything impossible.  At least I was hiding my nerves better than Corey, who was making knee-shaking and foot tapping an art form.  Slowly, I reached over and placed a hand on his bouncing leg.  He stopped immediately and looked at me with a coy smile.

“I’m sorry, Baby.  I’m just nervous, I guess.”

I smiled. “I can tell.” He heaved a big sigh and I couldn’t help but giggle.  Corey was so damn adorable when he was nervous. “I promise you that everything is going to be okay, though.”

We kissed and moments later the nurse called out my name.  We stood together and my hand took hold of his and gave a soft, comforting squeeze. 

The beginnings of appointments were standard for me.  The nurse and I casually chatted as she checked my blood pressure, weighed and measured me, and performed countless other tests that didn’t cause a second thought.  It wasn’t until I looked over and saw the sheer horror in Corey’s eyes that I remembered this was a whole new world for him.  His face was pale, his hands were sweating, and he looked like he had eaten something putrid. 

“Corey, Baby, are you going to be okay?” I asked with a loving, yet playful smile. 

His eyes bugged out and he ran his hands through his hair.  A few times his mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out and eventually he hung his head.

“I don’t know why I’m like this.  Can you just tell me you do this all the time and it’s not because there’s anything wrong with my baby?”

Nurse Tracy turned to him with a smile. “Everything is just fine.  It is standard procedure to check the mother’s vitals to be sure their bodies are handling the pregnancy well.  Then we take measurements of the baby from the outside to see how it is growing.  During the ultrasound, when you see your little one, the technician will also be taking measurements of the baby.  Making sure it has all its fingers and toes and checking to see how big they are.”

The color was slowly creeping back into Corey’s face and he no longer looked on the verge of hurling. 

“So, everything is okay, though?”

Tracy let out a sweet little laugh and nodded. “So far everything is looking very good.  I’m going to go let the ultrasound technician that you are ready to go.  I’ll be back in a moment.”  She gave another smile and left us alone. 

I opened my arms to my adorably nervous man as I remained seated on the examination table.  He came to me without hesitation and leaned his cheek against mine.  My nails trailed the length of his spine as I hoped to ease some of his built up tension.

“Everything is just fine, Baby,” I whispered into his ear.  His lips pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“I shouldn’t be so nervous, but I can’t help it.  You’re everything to me, Dani, and I can’t imagine something happening to you or our baby.”

My hands framed his face and forced him to look into my eyes.  It didn’t take an expert to see the worry still present behind his pulled together expression.  Corey’s concern was warming my heart and I hoped once we were actually able to see the little one on screen, it would be magical and not a overwhelming experience that would make him pass out.

A few minutes later, Tracy came back with a bottle of water in her hand and a smile on her face.

“First things first! This is for you.” She held the water out to Corey. “I figured you could use this and, secondly, we are ready for you.” 

A smile spread across my face so widely that my cheeks began to hurt.  I hopped off the table and linked my arm with Corey’s.

“Ready?” I asked, with the excitement bubbling inside of me.

He placed a kiss on top of my head and I knew instantly that his fears were gone.  The only thing left was the anticipation of seeing our baby on screen. 

Our introduction to the tech and the prep of my belly blurred together.  My hand remained locked with Corey’s as our eyes were fixed on the monitor.  Our tech was Mai, the same one I met last time and I felt horrible for my lack of attention to the conversation she tried to make.  Mai’s amusement told me I was forgiven and that was all I needed.  Because, suddenly - there it was.

With the beautifully melodic beat of a tiny heart echoing around the room, it all became real.  This wasn’t my first ultrasound, but none of the others were like this.  No longer did I have a little sea monkey growing inside of me—I could see it.  Our baby.  Mai took measurements and reported back the good health of our little one.  I heard her, but I was lost in the little face and body that moved around inside me. 

I tore my eyes away from the screen and looked back at Corey.  Just when I thought I couldn’t be any more moved by this moment—I was proven wrong yet again.  His eyes were red and wet with tears hanging onto the rim of his lids.  He looked from the screen at his baby then back to me.  As amazing as it was to look at our creation on the monitor, watching Corey’s reaction was even better.  The way his tears threatened to spill over and the soft trembling lip made my heart swell.  It took only half a second before I was a wreck of tears as I stared at my future.

When Corey’s eyes caught mine again, I couldn’t stop the overwhelming feeling of love filling every inch of me.

“I love you, Corey.”

The look in his eyes reminded me of the way he looked the very first time I told him I loved him.  There was hope, promise, desire and my favorite—there was forever.  Corey has always looked at me as if I was the only woman he had ever wanted.  Finally, I felt it too.  The fog shielding my heart from the fear of someone breaking it had lifted and I knew that Corey was the only one who it belonged to.

“I love you too, Danielle.  So much.”

“Your baby looks great.  The baby’s growth is right on track and it is nice and active.”

My voice choked out in a heavy sob. “That’s fantastic.” 

Mai turned towards us with a twinkle in her eye. “Would you like to know your baby’s gender?”

Just as I was about to say yes, Corey held a hand out to stop me.

He took my hand between the two of his. “Dani, would it be okay with you if we didn’t find out?” I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dying to know but this wasn’t just about me.

“Are you sure?”

Corey nodded. “I always kind of thought it might be nice if I ever had kids to find out if it was a boy or girl when they’re born.” He looked almost embarrassed to admit his wish. “But we can find out if you want to, of course.”

I took maybe two seconds to think about it before I had my answer.

“We’d like it to be a surprise.”

“Of course. I’m going to go grab Dr. Miller for you.”

“Thank you,” I sobbed out. 

The moment the door shut behind her, Corey’s hands cupped my face and sealed his lips over mine.  The saltiness from our tears mixed together on our lips, heightening the taste of feeling of this moment of perfection.  He moved his lips away from mine fractionally and, when I opened my eyes to see why he stopped, I felt myself gasp.  The blues of his eyes flamed with desire and it didn’t matter that my doctor could walk in—I couldn’t pull away from the passion staring back at me.