Fighting Ever After (Ever After #3) (24 page)

“Ky, man,
we’ve been looking for you,” Spade said excitedly. “Those guys over there want
to talk to us.
You too Kaylie.”
He pointed out two
middle aged guys standing by the stage. Ace and Chris were already talking to
them.

“Know what
they want?” I had a guess, but I was too afraid to get my hopes up.

“They said
they’re from
SoundTrain
.”
SoundTrain
was one of the biggest labels in the country. They signed some of the greatest
artists in music. “I think this is it man.”

“Then what
the hell are we doing standing here?” I asked, and the three of us walked over
there. I felt the blood pumping and my heart trying to beat out of my chest. If
they wanted us, this wouldn’t just be the break we needed to get our name and
music out there all over the East Coast, this could launch us worldwide.

The next few
minutes were a blur of handshakes, introductions and words we’d all been dying
to hear since we started this band almost two years ago. They were definitely
interested in us and wanted to set up a meeting with some of the label execs as
soon as possible. It was hard to believe this was even happening, that all our
hard work – hours of rehearsing, playing every bar that would let us in the
door, sending our demos to anyone who would listen, taking advantage of YouTube
and every social media site we could – was finally paying off, and it looked
like in a big way. They mentioned that they were also interested in Hollow
Crossing, Kaylie’s band, and I could tell she was feeling the same way I was.

This was a
level that we could connect on that Jax couldn’t. Kaylie got how big this was,
and she knew how hard we’d fought to make this happen, because she’d been
fighting just as hard, for even longer. Nobody who hadn’t faced the letdown of
not getting a gig, the discouragement of having people say ‘sorry, you’ll never
make it’ could actually understand how it felt when you knew you finally had.
Maybe we weren’t quite there yet, but that’s exactly where it looked like we
were heading.

“Holy shit!
Is this really happening?” Kaylie asked after Mark and Leo,
the label guys, had left.

“Fuck yeah
it is!” Ace pumped his fist and Spade started bouncing up and down on his feet.

“I can’t
believe
SoundTrain
wants us. That’s – shit I don’t
even have words for what that is.” Chris Sputtered.

“Fucking
incredible is what it is,” Ace offered. “We need to find the others and tell
them. They’ll never believe it. Oh fuck, I need to go find the missing guitar
cable. I left it backstage and that’s what I was going to do when those guys
stopped us.”

“We’ll go
look for them,” Chris said.

I couldn’t
wait to see
Jax’s
expression when we told them. Fuck,
I was so excited I might kiss her. Then I felt the tug on my hand, and I
remembered why I’d been headed this way in the first place.

“Uh, you
guys go ahead. Kaylie and I are going to go celebrate on our own. I’ll see you
back at the motel.”

“Whatever,”
Spade said already walking away to find the group, but Chris and Ace made sure
I saw their disapproval before they departed.

“Why do your
friends hate me all the sudden?” Kaylie asked as we pushed through the door
that led out into the hall.

“Don’t be so
dramatic; they don’t hate you.” I looked around for a good direction to go.
There were a bunch of doors down the left, so I went that way.

“But they
don’t want us together.”

“No they
don’t,” I confirmed.

“Why?” she
nagged and I stopped to face her.

“Does it really
matter?” I looked around again. “Fuck
this,
let’s just
go back to my motel room.” I headed for the exit instead.

“Okay,” she
seemed to brighten at the idea of going back to a room rather than a bathroom
stall. “But I still want to know why they don’t want me around you. It’s
because of
her,
isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I
exhaled a deep breath. “It’s because of her, but don’t worry about it. I’m
taking you tonight, not her, aren’t I?”

“What’s so
fucking great about her that they like her so much?”

I ignored
her and kept walking, pushing my way outside. “Did you drive?”

“No, I rode
with my sister.”

“I’m over
here.” I started walking toward my car that was around the side of the
building.

“Would you
answer me?”

“No.” I
stopped beside the black Audi R8 that was my other baby and fished my keys from
my pocket.

“Why the hell not?”
She stood outside the car, arms
crossed,
refusing to get in even after I’d unlocked and
opened the passenger door for her.

“Because you don’t want me to.”

“Yes I do!
What is it with this girl?” She cried.

“Everything,
okay!” I shouted back at her in frustration. “Now will you please just get in
the damn car?” She did, but she wasn’t pleased about it. The first few minutes
of the ride were awkwardly silent. I didn’t even bother to flip the radio on.

“Seriously,
everything?” she finally asked, breaking the heavy silence.

“I told you,
you didn’t want to hear it.”

“No, I do.
It’s just that I doubt she’s as amazing as you all think she is,” she said
bitterly.

“Kaylie, you
don’t want to go there with me. Not tonight.”

“Fine, whatever.”

She was in a
pissy
mood the rest of the ride and when we pulled
into the motel, she jumped right out, slamming her door. If she thought I cared
though, she was mistaken. I shut my own door and made my way over to my room,
not bothering to see if she was following. I heard her huff behind me and then
the click of her heels on the pavement. I dug my key card out of my pocket and
unlocked the room, pushing my way inside. She was right on my heels and as soon
as she stepped inside, I let the door fall closed with a loud thud and then I
grabbed her wrists, slamming her back against the door, pinning them above her
head. Then I covered her mouth with mine.

“Quit your
bitch fit Kaylie,” I said pulling away, leaving her a little on the breathless
side. “I won’t put up with your shitty attitude, so you can decide – either
get
the fuck out or take your shirt off and get on the bed.”

I dropped
her arms and turned my back on her, stripping off my own shirt, knowing damn well
she wasn’t about to walk out that door. It wasn’t five seconds before I felt
something soft hit me in the back of the head and I knew without looking that
it was her shirt. I removed my watch and my belt, setting them on the dresser.
Then I slid my wallet out of my pocket, dug a condom out of it, and set it next
to my watch.

Just as I’d
ordered, Kaylie was shirtless and waiting for me on the bed when I turned. She
was leaning back on her elbows, her breasts jutting forward and she’d also
taken the liberty of removing her bra and skirt so she was in nothing but her
red panties.

“Good girl.”
I climbed on top of her, pushing her down so that she was flat on her back,
looking up at me with heavy lidded eyes. I wasn’t in a romantic mood, so I took
her wrists in my hand again and dragged them up over her head and latched my
mouth around one of her breasts, biting down just hard enough to make her cry
out, but not hard enough to really hurt her. She struggled to free her wrists,
but I held them tighter and used my free hand to push her panties down. There
was nothing gentle about my touch; it was rough and demanding, but she writhed
under my fingers and begged for more.

When I
finally released her hands, I tangled my free hand in her hair, yanking her head
back so that I could nip at her neck and shoulder. Her fingers dug into my back
and I knew without a doubt that I would have the marks to show for it tomorrow.
When I had pushed her just to the brink, I pulled my hand back and started
shoving down my jeans.

She was
breathing hard, her chest heaving up and down. Her fingers helped to free me
from my jeans and boxer briefs and then I pushed myself into her hands. She
squeezed with just the right amount of pressure that bordered on pain. I
groaned and then dragged her panties completely off. I continued my assault on
her body with my hands and fingers, making her cry out and plead for more. Her
hands continued to slide up and down my length until I was ready. For the first
time tonight I kissed her lips just before I was about to push inside of her.

“This is so
good,” she moaned.
“So right.
You know your little
friend back there could never give you this. I’m what you need.”

It was the
absolute wrong thing to say. “Fuck!” I cursed, pushing off of her and sitting
up. “Why couldn’t you just do what I asked and stop talking about her?” She had
to go and bring her up again and ruin everything. I’d pushed Jaxyn out of my
head, convinced myself I could be with Kaylie just like before, but there was
no way I could go through with it. Not now that I was thinking about having Jax
sprawled out underneath me. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to get rid of the
image, but it wouldn’t go away.

“What? What
did I do? You know I’m right.”

“Just go
Kaylie. Get your
shit
and go,” I told her. I didn’t
even want to look at her. Seeing all the ways that she wasn’t Jaxyn would only
make it worse.

“Screw you
Ky! I’m so sick of this. You’re pathetic. She’d never let you touch her, not
like this. She’d fucking run if she knew how dark and twisted you are, how you
need it so rough and hard.” She climbed off the bed and started searching for
her clothes.

“I know what
I am Kaylie,” I said bitterly, “but you know what’s really pathetic; you knew
all along that I’d rather be with her and you were still going to let me fuck
you.”

She looked
like I’d just slapped her, and in a way I had. I’d hit her with the truth and I
didn’t even feel bad for it. I was angry, at her and myself.

“You’re a
bastard
Ky
, and where the hell am I supposed to go
now. I don’t have a car or a ride.”

“Go get a
room and I’ll drive you back in the morning. Maybe then I’ll be less of an
asshole and you’ll be less of a bitch.”

She quietly
dressed and then let herself out. I didn’t bother pulling my boxers back on and
just let myself fall backwards so that I was staring up at the ceiling.

What a
fucking night.

“For fuck’s
sake, I’m sorry, okay! Is that what you need to hear?” Kaylie blurted after
twenty minutes of the most tense and awkward car ride in history. This morning
I’d woken up to her banging on my motel room door. It was hardly a friendly
wake up call, and we hadn’t so much as spoken but a few terse words to each
other when absolutely necessary.

I just
grunted in response. I still had no desire to talk to her. I got that it wasn’t
entirely her fault, but I wanted to blame her – for pissing me off in the first
place and for not being enough to make me forget about Jax.

“Come on,
just talk to me.” Instead I made a move to turn up the radio, hoping that would
get my point across, but she immediately turned the dial back down. “Do you
have to be so damn immature all the time? When something doesn’t go your way,
you
just fucking
pout like a six year old.” Well at
least
her
and Jax could agree on that.

“Do you want
to walk your ass back to Boston?” I turned to look at her.

“I said I
was sorry. Considering I’m not the one who was an ass last night, the least you
could do is explain what the hell happened and why you’re so sensitive about
her if there really isn’t anything going on between you two. You said you’d
rather be with her, so why the hell aren’t you?” She’d lost some of her ire and
sounded more curious than anything now, but it was none of her business, and I
told her that.

“Just leave
it alone Kaylie.”

“I’m just
trying to understand.”

“You
wouldn’t. You’re too much like me.”

“What is
that supposed to mean?” She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at me.

I exhaled
sharply. “It means that you look out for yourself above everyone else. You go after
what you want and you make no apologies for taking it.”

“What’s so
bad about that?”

“Listen
Kaylie, I’m not trying to be a dick this time.” I gripped the steering wheel
tighter. “A month ago, I would have said those were the things that made us
perfect for each other. We’re so much alike and that’s why we worked. We never
asked each other to change.”

“And now?”

“Now I see
how selfish that is. Now I get what it’s like to put someone above myself and
want to do what’s best for them, and that’s why I wasn’t with her last night,
why I won’t be with her any night. She’s not like us. Most of the time, she
thinks of herself last. She cares about people, even fucked up ones like me,
and the most selfish thing she’s ever done is fight for her life. She’s been through
more than anyone should ever have to go through and somehow she didn’t turn
into . . .” I trailed off, not wanting to hurt her. As much as she pissed me
off, she wasn’t being a bitch in this moment, and she didn’t deserve for me to
cut her down anymore.

“Me?” she
asked softly, knowing what I’d been going to say.

“Yeah.
I’m sorry, but you and me, we’re full of so much anger,
resentment and bitterness that it’s made us into these people. I know you’ve
got your reasons and that I’ve never asked what they are, because honestly, I
didn’t care to. We’ve never been about that and it’s suited both of us just
fine, but that’s not her, and I won’t be the reason that changes. I won’t give
her anymore reason to turn into us.”

“And what
about her life could have been so hard? What does miss goody-goody have to be
angry about? From where I’m sitting, it looks like she’s got everyone on her
side, everyone wanting to protect and take care of her like some delicate
little
princess
.” Her voice was strained and she was staring out her
window, refusing to even glance in my direction.

“It doesn’t
matter, but it’s not some competition –
who’s
had the
rougher life
–
it’s not my place to tell you anything. This is just how
it is. I care about her. You need to understand that if you want to carry on
with . . .  whatever this is. I can be with you physically, but that’s all
it will ever be, because I’m always going to want her. If you’re not okay with
that, then it ends and we go our separate ways.”

“And if I
don’t want it to end?”

“Then you
don’t bring her up. You don’t pull any jealousy bullshit and you keep the claws
retracted when you’re around her. Got it?” I took my eyes off the road to look
over at her and I waited for her meet my gaze. She needed to know I meant it, that
she couldn’t ignore this just because it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Got
it?” I repeated myself and she finally turned her head to look at me.

“Yeah,
whatever, I got it. I’ll play nice and nothing changes between you and me.”
Except everything had already changed; it changed the moment I laid eyes on
Jaxyn in that bar. Okay that wasn’t quite true. It didn’t happen that quickly,
but that was the beginning of everything changing, and maybe that’s why I
didn’t see it coming. Change isn’t always instant, or a single moment;
sometimes it’s a series of events, so subtle and seemingly insignificant and
inconsequential, when in fact your whole world is being rocked off its axis.
That’s what she did to me.

Whatever
Kaylie and I were now, or whatever we became, would always be shadowed by that,
by her. I had to find a way to live with it, to get past it, and Kaylie was my
best option. While Jaxyn was the light to my dark, Kaylie matched my darkness
with her own. It was familiar to me and maybe picking up right where we left
off would help me to get my life back on track without the distraction Jax
offered.

“I have to
swing by
Jax’s
to pick Ace
up,
apparently he drove them home last night. Then I’ll drop you at your place.
We’re playing a gig in Albany tonight so I won’t be around, but I’ll let you
know when I have a free night,” I told her as we neared the exit for
Jax’s
house.

“Okay,” she
mumbled and then remained quiet until I pulled the car up outside
Jax’s
house. “This is her house?” She was taking it in and
the neighborhood. “Does she still live with her parents or something?” I
figured I at least needed to tell her something so she didn’t make an ass out
of herself with Jax.

“No. This is
her house. She lost her mom when she was young and that’s all you need to
know.” She followed me up to the porch and we waited for someone to answer
after I’d knocked. Jaxyn pulled the front door open a few seconds later,
wearing a light blue summer dress and a warm smile, at least until she saw
Kaylie, and then her smile became guarded. I figured the sooner I got Kaylie
out of here the better. Jax needed to be aware of Kaylie, but I didn’t want to
make her more uncomfortable by flaunting Kaylie in her face. I walked right
into the living room where Ace was still sleeping hard on the couch.

I grabbed
his shoes off the floor and tossed them at him, smacking him in the abdomen. He
let
out an “
oomph” and then threw the shoe back,
grumbling and trying to burrow deeper into the couch.

 “Wake
up asshole, I want to get back to the house and take a nap before we have to
head to Albany.”

Ace grumbled
some more, but pulled himself up off the couch. He had slept in his jeans, but
was missing his shirt – a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Jaxyn. She was
staring at him like she was about to go over there and lick him up and down.
What the hell! Was she forgetting the promise she’d made? I knew I was being a
hypocrite with Kaylie barely dressed and standing beside me, but I’d seen that
appreciative gleam in Princess’ eye before. I didn’t mind when it was directed
at me, but I didn’t like seeing it aimed at my best friend. Not quickly enough,
he pulled on his damn shirt and Princess finally realized she’d been eye
fucking him – maybe not really, but she may as well have been – and she quickly
looked away. Her eyes landed on me instead, and I’m pretty sure I was glaring
at her. Yep, from her reaction, I was definitely glaring at her. She did a
little eye roll and then Ace kissed her on the forehead before brushing by her
and shutting himself in the bathroom down the short hallway.  

 “I
gotta take a piss
too,
can I use the bathroom
upstairs?” I asked, aware of how gruff I sounded. She nodded and I rushed up
the stairs, partly because I genuinely needed to relieve myself, and partly
because I’d only been here two damn minutes and already I was losing my cool
around her.

I was
washing my hands in the sink and staring at my reflection in the mirror hanging
above. I knew what I saw in Jax, but what the hell could she possibly see in
me? Was it just this face? Was she simply as shallow as every other girl who
was taken by the exterior package? That didn’t seem right, but what else was
there?

Right now
even my outward appearance wasn’t that enticing. I needed a shave, probably a
haircut and about three more hours of sleep to take care of the dark circles
and my all around haggard appearance. Leaning against the counter, I hung my
head and sucked in a few deep breaths before splashing some cool water over my
face. Kaylie was the one waiting for me downstairs, not Jax, I reminded myself.

I dried my
face and hands, hoping that Ace was ready to go and we wouldn’t have to stick
around any longer. I almost ran right into Jax coming up the stairs as I was
about to go down. She kept her head ducked and wouldn’t look at me as she
mumbled what sounded like it might have been a “congratulations and good luck,”
but she brushed past me and shut herself in her room before I could make sense
of it or even say thanks. It occurred to me, not for the first time, that I should
have asked Kaylie to wait in the car. I was sure that’s what the awkwardness
was about, but if Jax and I were ever going to make our friendship work, I
couldn’t coddle her feelings and she needed to get used to seeing me with
Kaylie – Kaylie or any girl really.

“You ready
to go?” I asked Ace when I reached the bottom of the stairs. He was standing
just inside the entryway of the living room, an angry scowl directed at Kaylie.
He didn’t answer me at first; seemed he also needed to get used to it no matter
how much he disapproved.

“Yeah, I’m
ready. Let’s get out of here.”

Ace climbed
right into the passenger seat of my car, not even offering it to Kaylie, which
was unlike him. He really didn’t want to play nice, and the second Kaylie was
out of the car when I dropped her off, he let me know in no uncertain terms
that he wouldn’t.

“I
understand why you’re doing it, and even if I don’t agree, it’s your choice,
but don’t ask me to like it, or her. I don’t want to be in the same room as her
and I don’t think you should bring her around Jaxyn again. That was cold.”

“And what
would sparing her feelings be? To me, that would be cold. Whatever attachment
she has to me needs to
end,
or it will always be there
getting in the way of us actually being friends.”

“You don’t
think she’s capable of putting it aside on her own? You really think throwing
your slut in her face makes anything easier? I think you’re doing it for you,
to make it easier on you, not her. You’re the one having difficulty putting
feelings aside, and Kaylie is your easy way out.”

Neither of
us spoke again the rest of the ride. When I pulled into the driveway at home,
we both climbed out and I didn’t see him again until we were leaving for New
York. I’d shut myself in my room all day, trying to catch up on sleep, but
mostly lying there, staring at my ceiling, fixating on what he’d said and how
he was maybe right. Probably right. Fuck, he was right.

Ace was in a
much better mood on the drive though; they were all buzzing, talking about
SoundTrain’s
interest in us. Even
Danny
who was with us, couldn’t stop talking about it. With all my inner shit going
on, I’d almost forgotten the news that should have made everything else seem
trivial. The excitement carried into our performance and with a new level of
confidence, we played one of our best shows yet. We didn’t stop
there,
the partying lasted well into the night and the wee
hours of the morning. The hotel we’d booked was almost a waste, because by the
time we made it back there, we weren’t asleep four hours before it was time to
check out at noon and get our asses on the road home. I slept the entire three
and half hour drive, as did everyone besides Ace who was driving.

I stretched
awake when we pulled into the alley around back of our place. Spade hopped out
to unlock and open the back gate so that Ace could pull the van into the strip
of gravel alongside the back yard. We didn’t dare leave the van parked out on
the street, not when we regularly left our extra equipment in it. Since it was
the end of the weekend and we didn’t have another show until Thursday, we
unloaded most of it right then. When we were done I couldn’t decide what I
needed more: a nap, a shower or some food. I decided to start with the food and
work my way up to the nap.

I realized
no one had been grocery shopping in a while, so the prospects of finding
something edible in our fridge or cupboards were slim. The only hope was that
maybe Marcus had come out of his mock lab upstairs long enough to pick up a few
things. From the empty pizza boxes in the recycling, I figured that wasn’t
likely, which is why I was surprised to find more than our usual beer, milk and
minimal fruits and veggies in the fridge when I opened it. There were two foil
covered pans sitting on the shelves. One had a sticky note on top that said
there was more in the freezer. I uncovered one to find what looked like a pan
of lasagna, and the other contained enchiladas.