Fighting Ever After (Ever After #3) (38 page)

 “I’ve
been thinking about that for over four months now. Even better than I
remembered,” I breathed out heavily against her mouth.

“You really
thought about me?” she asked timidly.

“Every second of every damn day.
I was such an idiot to
walk away and I regretted it before I even did it. You shouldn’t even be here.
None of this would have happened if you had been with me, where you belonged,
but I was such a blind asshole. I know I don’t have any right to ask for your
forgiveness, but I swear I’ll never run from you, from us again. I can’t lose
you. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your love again if you give me the
chance.” It all came out rushed, and it wasn’t what I’d practiced. I nervously
dragged a hand through my hair and sighed, trying to get a hold on myself.

“I spent an almost
six hour plane ride preparing what I would say if you made it, and now I’m
completely screwing it up, but what it comes down to is that I love you.” She
gasped, but I kept going. “I should have said it a long time ago, but I was a
coward and I walked away because it was easier than fighting for you. I’ve
never loved anyone as much as I love you and that terrified the hell out of me.
I’ll never deserve you. I’ll never be good enough for you and I was so scared
that you would see that and leave me, so I left first.” Just saying it out loud
made me want to leave the room in shame. Even if she forgave me, I didn’t know
how I would ever forgive myself, but before I could say anything else, Jax put
her finger to my lips, silencing me.

 “You
don’t have to earn anything, you already have it. I loved you then and I never
stopped. I still love you and I’m so sorry too because you didn’t walk away. I
let you go. I kept thinking that you couldn’t be who I wanted, that you
couldn’t give me what I needed, but I was so stupid because you were already
exactly who I wanted. You’re all I ever needed, just you.
Always.”

I swear it
was like her words reached right inside of my chest and started putting back
together every broken piece of me.

“You mean
that?” I asked, almost afraid to believe it, because a part of me couldn’t.

“Yes,” she
wiped away all of my doubt with that one word. “Nobody has ever seen inside me
the way you do, made me feel so alive and strong. As if I could take on the
world, and at the same time so safe and protected; like I’d never have to do it
alone.”

“You’re not alone. Never again,” I promised her, and
with that she kissed me.
She kissed me like I was the only person she wanted to kiss for the rest of her
life, and I knew without a doubt, that I was going to do everything I could to
make sure that I was.

2 years
and nine months later . . .

“He’s . . .
he’s so . . .”

“Perfect,” I
finished for her.

“Yes.
Perfect.” I looked down at my wife, holding our beautiful son, Abel Fender
McCabe. To think that I almost missed this because the little guy got impatient
and decided to come two weeks early. Our plane had landed this morning, and as
soon as I powered my phone back on there were a deluge of texts and missed
calls from Sadie and Bas. At that moment I knew. I was already running through
the airport with the guys hot on my heels, when I finally got through to Bas
and he told me they were already at the hospital and Jax was going into labor.

I’ve never
driven so fast in my life and I barely made it to the hospital in time. I
walked into the delivery room to find Jax in a lot of pain. It had scared me
shitless to see her face contorted in pain and hear her yells, but she was a
champ through the whole process. She’d had to deal with the last two months of
her pregnancy on her own since I was away on tour. As hard as it had been on me
to be away from her, I knew it was so much harder on her not having me here.
I’d hated it, but it was unavoidable. I’d been able to fly home just a couple
times to see her between
shows, which wasn’t
nearly
enough, but we’d made it work.

Thank God
for video chatting. It was a poor substitute for actually being with her, but
it had made the separation more bearable, and kept a certain element of spice
in our relationship. There was nothing hotter to me than my pregnant wife, and
I had plans to return her to that state very soon. In fact, if I could get away
with it, I would keep her knocked up all the time. It wouldn’t be hard at all,
since all it took was looking at her to turn me on. Even with her hair
matted,
her face red and splotchy and wearing that hideous
hospital gown, I’d never seen anything more gorgeous in my life. The fact that
she also held our newborn son in her arms made her damn near irresistible.
Our son.
We made that. Fuck, I was going to start laughing
or crying. I just still couldn’t believe he was here, that we were here, at
this point where everything felt so right and good.

“Do you want
to hold him now?” She looked up at me, holding Abel out for me to take him. My
heart rate skyrocketed and my hands shook slightly as I nervously reached for
him. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms, but he was just so
tiny, so tiny and innocent and I was afraid of hurting him.

“You’ll be
fine, Daddy,” she said as she released him to me. Just hearing that word calmed
me and I knew I was smiling like an idiot as I cradled him against my chest. He
was bundled in a soft blue blanket so that only his little face peaked out. His
eyes were shut in sleep and I knew that I would always do everything I could to
protect him – him and his mom. They were my entire world now.

“I like the
way that sounds,” I whispered, looking over to see the wide smile on her face
as she watched me holding Abel.

“Yeah?
Well that’s good, because you’re going to be hearing it for
a long time.”

“I know,” I
grinned at her. “It will be his first word.”

She snorted,
“I don’t think so,
It
will definitely be
Mama.
”

I laughed,
“You’re probably right. Now that he’s had his first taste of your boobs, I’m
sure you’ve already won him over, and I’ll be stuck competing for second
place.”

“Ky,” she
admonished me.

“What? It’s
true, and I don’t blame him.” Still holding our son, I leaned down and pressed
a kiss just below her ear. “You have amazing tits babe.”

She shook
her head and smacked me.

“So how long
before he should start talking?” I asked her seriously. “I’ll admit I’m a
little anxious to hear him say ‘
Dada’.”

“I think it
will be while,” she chuckled.

“I can’t wait
to hear his little sister say it too. I know she’ll be a daddy’s girl for
sure.”

“Little sister?”
Her eyebrow arched.

“Yep.
Abel is going to be a handsome ladies’ man just like his dad, but
I need another beautiful princess, with those big silver eyes like her mom’s.”

“What
happens if we have another son?” She asked and I just grinned.

“Then we get
to keep trying.”

“And how
many kids exactly do you think we’re having?”

“I don’t
know. How does a dozen sound?”

“How
does
four sound?” She shot back.

“Four is
fine,” I answered, “for now. I’m sure I can talk you into six or seven at least
though.”

“Oh really?”
She eyed me doubtfully.

I leaned
over, tracing my nose along the base of her throat and up to her ear again,
before tugging her earlobe with my teeth. She sucked in a sharp breath. “My
powers of persuasion are quite exceptional.” She shivered as my warm breath
tickled her skin.

“That’s
cheating,” she whispered breathlessly.

“All is fair
in love and war, baby.”

Before I
could take it any further, Bas and his pregnant wife poked their heads into the
room. Surprisingly it was Bas, not Lissa, who reached for Abel first.

“Give him to
me.” He practically pulled him right out of my arms. I was reluctant to let him
go, but it meant I could climb up in the bed behind Jax and pull her into my
lap. She settled between my legs, tipping her head back against my chest as our
friends
oohed
and awed over our kid.

“Does it get
any better than this?” I asked softly.

“I think it
only gets better from here,” she answered back, and I hoped she was right. I
couldn’t imagine it getting any better than this, but I knew that with Jax,
anything and everything was possible.

“Just wait
until you’re older little man, your Uncle Bas is going to teach you to play
lacrosse and pick up girls, and when your mom and dad drive you nuts, you can
always come hang out with your favorite uncle,” Bas was talking to our son.

Jax cleared
her throat, “Excuse me, you will not be teaching him how to pick up chicks.”

“That will
be my job,” I said proudly and Jax turned her head sharply to look at me over
her shoulder with big wide eyes.

“No!”

I chuckled,
“Come on babe. I’m all reformed now. I promise I’ll teach him to adore and
respect the ladies just like I do his mom, and I’m going to make sure he has a
strong right hook so he can look out for his little sister.”

This time it
was Bas who raised a questioning brow at me.
“Little sister?”

Jax groaned,
“Please don’t get him started again. He thinks we’re going to have six kids.”

“I’m pretty
sure I said six
or
seven,” I corrected her.

“Oh geez, I
can’t imagine doing this even two more times, let alone six,” Lissa chimed in
rubbing her hand over her protruding stomach. “You guys are insane.”

“That’s what
you think babe,” Bas told her. “We can’t let them have more kids than us.”

“Oh no.
No
freakin
way! You two are not
turning this into a competition. Now give me that baby.” She took him from Bas’
arms the same way he’d taken him from me. “You’re daddy and your
uncle are
crazy. Hopefully you take after your mama.”

Just then my
little guy opened his eyes and let out a little cry right before Lissa
scrunched up her nose. “Oh great, you’re definitely trouble like your dad, and
you’re a gassy little guy.”

I laughed.
Yep. He was my son.

My son.

My Family.

Yeah,
perfect was the only word for it.

Acknowledgements

I could write another entire book just thanking all the people who
have helped me to get here. Always, first and foremost, my thanks
goes
to God. He’s given me the heart and passion for
storytelling. He’s guided my own journey that has opened my heart and mind to
the stories out there that should be told. My work may not be flawless, it may
never be best selling, but if just one person reads it, and has that moment
where they don’t feel quite so alone or are able to get lost in the story
because they can relate to and connect with the emotions and characters on the
pages, that
is enough. I have known successes and failures
of all kinds, and every step of the way, God has walked with me. I have nothing
that He has not given me, and I am blessed to be able to share my work with all
of you.

My family and friends are my greatest supporters, cheerleaders and
motivators, and I am thankful that so many new people have been added to that
list over this journey. So many of you have reached out to me with your words
of encouragement and support over my journey of becoming an author, and it has
meant more to me than I can express through simple words. I am glad and
thankful to now be able to call so many of you friends because our love of
stories introduced us.

I also need to say a big thank you to everyone who has left a
review of or shared my work with others. I owe a great deal of my success to
you. I appreciate the reviews you guys leave, negative and positive, so very
much. I hope to be able to keep doing this for a very long time, and you guys
make it possible by getting my work out there into more hands with your
recommendations and reviews!

Also a very big thank you to the amazing bloggers out there who
never fail to share my teasers, covers, links and release
dates.
You guys are amazing.