Fighting Destiny (20 page)

“It is obvious that we did a lot of socializing!” laughed Candasee nervously
picking through the obscenely tall pile.  “Okay I think I can remember a few favourites so this shouldn’t take me too long!”

“Feel free t
o take your time and browse, I’m not rushing you anywhere. In fact, I want you to stay a little longer so we can talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“Well for one, your life in Barbados and what else is new with you?” he hedged inwardly kicking himself again for avoiding the topic once again. Why couldn’t he just come out and say what he wanted to say!

“I d
on’t think you would find that interesting!”

“Well I would and I do! Look around and find the dress you want and I can order in some coffee and breakfast. I was going to order for myself.”

“No don’t do that, Nathan is waiting for me downstairs, and this won’t take long! In fact, I think I see one of my favourites right now!

She quickly selected an emerald green sheath covered in tiny
, shimmering crystals with a neckline that featured a sweetheart neckline and was held in place by tiny spaghetti straps.

“I don’t have the right shoes though Darius!” exclaimed Candasee.

“That is not a problem, I can ask Portia to find you something matching while you are the intensive today!”

“Thank you, but I may have to
visit the spa to get my hair done for such a formal occasion. I can get myself a pair at one of the shops nearby then.

“
Okay, fine!”

“So is that all?”
she asked.

Darius walked to where she was standing and held her shoulders gently running his hands down the sides of her arms igniting a
n immediate rush of heat and current along her arms to her fingertips.
Her traitorous body!

“Candasee...” he began turning her around to face him.

“I’m so sorry about what happened between us, you have to believe me!” he said.

Candasee could sense her bottom lip begin to tremble as her cool exterior began to unravel at Darius’ mere touch
once again. For goodness sakes she thought, making love with Nathan should have changed this!

“I’ve spent so many days in regret, wishing I knew how to approach you again and to make this right.
I never wanted to be apart from you! Are you telling me in the last two years that you never thought of me even once?”

“Darius, I did nothing else than think about you,”
Candasee finally blurted pulling away as she recalled her frustration and walked around to the other side of the bed. “Do you think our separation was easy on me, that it didn’t practically kill me to walk away from you, from us? I did it because I had to. You forced me to leave my home and my family and try to rebuild my life. You are the one that betrayed me, not the other way around!”

“
I know it was my fault and I admit to that right now. I should never have tried to control you like that. If I could go back I would never had done it but I was dealing with some deep issues and I let it creep into our marriage. I need a chance to tell you why I made such a huge mistake,” said Darius.

“I
don’t think anything you say to me now could ever make a difference at this point. We are different people now with different lives. Besides I just can’t break up with Nathan because you finally apologized two years too late.”

“
It’s never too late!”

“
No, you are too late Darius!” said Candasee reluctantly. “We had a good marriage for a time and then you decided I wasn’t good enough for you. My life has moved on and so has yours, and I am sure that the women or woman in your life are thanking me right now for standing aside, especially one in particular.”

“Candasee, even if the
re were other women interested in me, it still wouldn’t matter because I have not managed to move past my feelings and desire for you. I sense that it is the same for you. Do you really think you are being honest with Nathan and yourself here?”

“I am not trying to be anything. I just want my life to finally move on past all the pain and the hurt you caused me! 
You know what? I think all of this friction between us is just the effect of seeing each other so suddenly and now a lot of old feelings are resurfacing that neither you nor I should confuse with being something real. What I have with Nathan is real, and it’s what I want, not a date with the ghost of my painful past,” she said.

Why was she insisting that nothing w
as between them when that couldn’t be further from the truth? Even she knew that she was lying as he watched how she avoided looking into his eyes as she spoke. She’d always prided herself on being able to speak honestly and look someone straight in the eyes as she spoke. Walking around the bed slowly, he advanced toward her. She looked behind her instinctively to see if she could get away from him but there was only the wall.

“Why aren’t you listening to me
and why are you running from me?” asked Darius placing his palms on the wall behind her on either side of her head, trapping her in place.

“I am listening and perhaps you should
listen to me too!” said Candasee with her voice now shaking. “I know you might have come up with many reasons as to why we should get back together but the past is already written and you can’t change that overnight!”

“Can you honestly tell me that being here with me right now has absolutely no effect on
you? That if I was to kiss you right now, that you wouldn’t respond to me?” he responded ignoring her protests.

She had no words
or defence to that question because although her mind was shouting no, every other traitorous cell in her body was screaming yes.

Darius brought his mouth within centimetres of
hers and touched her lips lightly with his thumb rubbing it across them from side to side before resting his forehead lightly against hers.

Being cocooned with Darius like this was wreaking havoc on all her theories
about her self-control. Needless to say, in a few short minutes it was in tatters. She didn’t want to push him away, so she didn’t. She wanted this more than her next breath; even if it meant that she had to swallow every word she’d just said. As their breaths mingled and their foreheads pressed together, it was as though their minds were becoming one again, and each was reaching out and searching for its other half.

God
, he wanted to just clear the bed of that insane pile of dresses and just show this woman how much she was lying to herself if she thought for a moment that this was over. Her resistance both infuriated and magnetized him.

Finally
, not holding back any longer he tasted her lower lip gently, then her upper lip, and she made a whimper from deep within her chest. But her hands remained limply at her sides. Her soft lips tasted like coconut cream as he finally discovered the flavour of the light gloss she wore. He felt like devouring her where she stood.

Darius smelled and tasted so good, so familiar and being here kissing him like this was like coming home to all she’d missed and longed for. Desire and heat began to radiate from her abdomen in
rolling waves as her body longed for nothing more than to be one with this man, to finally satisfy the ache that lived in her heart for almost two years! Kissing him back required no debate, no struggle, it was her natural response, it was who she was, his wife,
his lover
.

Her arms instinctively came up around his neck as she opened her mouth wider to allow him deeper access. The flames of desire blazed up and around her like an inferno eclipsing
all her previous thoughts. Darius wrapped his arms around her waist bringing her body flush against the lean hardness of his body as she clung to him. This kiss which began as a gentle exploration had now transformed into a wild, tangling of tongues and searching lips. Over and over they plundered each other and Candasee felt her panties become drenched as her arousal escalated. Her femininity clenched powerfully under the intense desire to have Darius inside her again and she orgasmed from just the thought. The tremors shook her body and Darius pulled her closer to him melding their bodies into one.
Did she really just have an orgasm from just kissing this man
?

Pulling away slightly and somewhat out of breath they both looked at each other as a knowing passed between them.

“Do you still believe it’s over between us?” asked Darius as he searched her eyes with his intently.

It was undeniable
now; the connection that existed between them was there still undiluted by time, undiluted by the hurt and the pain! Hot tears began to slide down Candasee’s cheeks as she began to come to terms with all she was feeling but it was just too overwhelming!

S
he was acting like a schizophrenic. This was crazy! What was she doing? She had a fiancé for goodness sakes who she’d made love to just last night. She couldn’t do this! She wasn’t a cheap slut! He might find it easy to betray Solange but she couldn’t.

“Darius, I have to go, everyone is expecting me, I can’t do this, I’m sorry. Tell your mother that I am looking forward to the celebration tonight,” she said disentangling herself from his arms forcibly. After steadying herself, she walked quickly across the room and out the door.

Darius stood
his ground and watched her run again but made no attempt to stop her.
She’d come apart in his arms
. There was no way she could hide the scent or the way her body shook just now. She was afraid of the intensity of what still existed between them and there was no way she could possibly be in denial anymore. It was time for her to know the truth and tonight he would tell her everything.

Tonight wouldn’
t be an ordinary night, because what Candasee didn’t know was that the engagement party would be held on a nearby private island Krispin, owned by one of his business partners Russell Thorne. She would be back among the family and friends she’d grown to love while she lived here. It was a start but the objective was still very clear, he had to begin to remind her of the life she once had with him and the real possibility of having it again.

As Candasee neared the restaurant for breakfast, the scents of eggs, bacon, pancakes and fruit all made for such an inviting aroma. She hoped that her eyes didn’t look too red and puffy anymore after the short stop she made to her room to change her panties and to disguise the fact that she’d been crying. She couldn’t even keep her promise to Nathan for one day and everything she did just cheapened everything they’d shared the night before. She wasn’t ready to get married if she was wavering like this.

One of the instructors at the buffet
line pointed her toward the table Nathan reserved for them on the sunlit deck. He wasn’t alone but Eve Samaroo was sitting at the table and their heads were very close together as she listened closely to whatever Nathan was telling her. As she got closer to them he patted Eve’s shoulder reassuringly before she stood to leave. He looked up then and saw her approaching and for a moment he looked like a man with the world on his shoulders. His expression brightened slightly when he saw her. What was bothering him and what did it have to do with Eve?

“Here I am,” she announced trying to sound more cheerful than she felt.

“I was beginning to think that you’d changed your mind, I was about to come looking for you,” Nathan admitted with thinly veiled disapproval in his tone.

He did
n’t deserve her wavering and constant betrayal. He was a decent man she did not want to hurt. But every second she remained at this hotel, the possibility that she would really hurt him deeply seemed even more of a reality.

Now she
wondered how he would react to her news about tonight’s party. Not well she figured. How could she ever convince him that she was going because of Marianne and not because of Darius when the lines were so blurry for her too?

“
I am starved, what did you order?” she asked trying to keep her voice light.

“I was waiting for you. This is more of a buffet so we can go and get something now
,” he said quietly noting the slight redness of her eyes. She’d been crying and that bastard Darius was responsible, he seethed. She actually thought that she could hide it from him too. What happened between them? Her lips looked plum red and slightly swollen and her lip gloss was glaring absent. No, she wouldn’t have,
would she
? Not after last night?

They filled up their plates and returned to their seats
but neither he nor Candasee had much appetite. So the scrambled eggs, grilled herb potatoes, and bacon remained on their plates while both sipped on their teas in thoughtful silence.

“
I guess we aren’t that hungry today,” said Candasee trying to lighten the mood with a smile over her teacup.

“
Yeah, it’s a shame the food is great,” Nathan replied. Something was terribly wrong here. Once again the connection he had with Candasee seemed to have evaporated into thin air. She could barely look him in the eye.

“U
m Nathan, did you get a contact card yesterday?” asked Candasee trying to keep her voice casual.