Fight for Love (14 page)

I tried to sneak in, but my boots clomped across the wood floor making it difficult to stay quiet. As expected, Stacey sat propped on the couch. The remote balanced on the knee she had pulled up to her chest.
 

“How was work?” She asked, but didn’t turn her focus from the TV.
 

“Fine. How were classes?”

“Fine.”

“Well, I’m going to bed.” I made it halfway down the hall before I heard Stacey’s loud, drawn out sigh. Then the shuffle of her slippered feet behind me.
 

“Luke, wait a minute.”

I supported my shoulder against the wall, my back still to her. “What?”

“Can we talk?”

“What do you want to talk about, Stacey?”

Her voice rose. “I don’t know. Maybe we can start with how your day really went. Or where you went after work, since I know the store closed at ten and it’s close to midnight.”

“Why do you care where I was? You aren’t my mother.” I turned around to meet her gaze with an icy stare to match the one she flashed my way. She didn’t want to talk to me until I didn’t come home right after work. That combined with the confusion already swimming in my head was too much. I was a hairs breath from losing control.

Stacey reverted to her meek, shy, behind the desk personality and whispered, “I know I’m not your mother. I care because I worry about you. I don’t want something to happen to you.” She reached out to touch me but dropped her hand at the last second.
 

The devil on my shoulder begged for her to follow through, then pushed me to make the first move when she backed down. My head began to ache. “You want to know where I was?” She nodded her head then let her eyes fall to the floor. “I went to eat with Chelsea. She came by the store and asked me to go out with her. After turning her down a lot the last few weeks I figured I’d say yes.”

To my surprise she didn’t look at me with disgust. “Did you have fun?”

“Fuck.” A sigh escaped between my lips. “Honestly?” Stacey’s head bobbed up and down. “I don’t know. I like Chelsea, but not as much as she likes me. Her brother, well he has the same problem I do. So she gets me.” The laugh I let out sounded empty even to me.
 

“Do you like her?”

“I don’t know. She’s nice, but I don’t know. The thing is… there aren’t many people that care about me and want to make sure I’m okay.” Stacey opened her mouth, but I stopped her. “Let me finish. I know you care, but in a way you’re supposed to. You work at the same office as my psychiatrist. If you and I ever went further than friends you could get fired. Hell, you’re in enough shit for letting me live with you. Maybe Chelsea…” Stacey rushed me and the next thing I knew, her lips were on mine, stopping me mid-sentence.
 

Her kiss was explosive; her hands shook on my shoulders. My hands slid around her waist and I broke our kiss to nuzzle her neck. My lips moved to her ear, “Relax. I won’t bite.”
 

With precision I kissed my way along her jawline as my hands ran up her sides and over her shoulders. My lips reached her soft mouth again and she opened hers with a gasp. As I cradled her face with my hands I tilted her head to the side and slid my tongue between her lips.
 

I don’t know how long the kiss lasted. The only way to tell time had passed was the pinpricks I felt crawl up my legs from standing still too long. Stacey broke the kiss and pulled back. Before she moved away she pressed her lips to mine once, twice, three times more. Then laced our fingers together and led me to the couch.
 

“Why did you do that?” I asked.

A whisper of sadness flashed across her eyes, and I knew I’d said the wrong thing. Again. I grasped her chin and held her in place before she had a chance to look away. A stray hair fell over her face and I pushed it behind her ear then caressed her cheek with my thumb.
 
“Not that I’m complaining. It was…unexpected.”

She gave me a sheepish grin. “Unexpected good or unexpected bad?”

“Oh good. Definitely good.” I stretched out on the couch and pulled Stacey closer to me so she sat in my lap with my arms wrapped around her. It felt good to hold her, to know that she wanted to be there with me. “I wasn’t sure you saw me as anything more than a charity case or school experiment. You made it very clear that we couldn’t be anything more than friends.”

Her head flopped against my chest. “I know and we still shouldn’t, but I’d rather risk my job than risk you dating someone else.”

“Stacey, don’t. I won’t let you do that. Your job isn’t worth dating me. You’ve got dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It’d kill me if I was the reason all that went to the wayside.” Stacey’s hand rested on my thigh. She pinched me, hard. I let out a yelp and swatted her hand away. “What the hell was that for?”

“Let me ask you something. Do you appreciate it when someone makes all of your choices? Tells you what to do and how to feel?”

“Fuck no.”

“Well, neither do I. So stop with the ‘you’d die if I lost my job’ bullshit. It’s my choice who I date or don’t date. If we do decide to do this, it just means I have to be on my best behavior at work. Then again, that won’t be too hard since we’ve hardly talked at the office in the last few weeks. Come to think of it, I’m surprised Lissa hasn’t said something to me. She’s usually pushing her nose well past personal boundaries.”

“So are we dating now?” Might as well get the clarification done. Not that I needed a label on what Stacey and I had, but I didn’t want any doubt between us.
 

“Nope,” she answered.

I jolted off the couch, leaving Stacey to fall backwards and hit her head on the arm. “Ouch,” she said as she rubbed the back of her head. “What was that for?”

“Huh uh. You answer my question first. If we aren’t dating then what was that stunt you pulled in the hall five minutes ago. Sure seemed like more than just friends to me.”

Stacey wiggled her finger at me. “If you’d let me finish before flying off the handle I’d explain what I meant.”

I sat back down on the couch with Stacey across from me. The distance between us was only inches, but it felt like miles. “Fine. Go ahead.”

“You have to promise me if we’re dating you won’t date anyone else.” I began to interrupt but Stacey’s finger on my lips stopped me. “I’m not done. I know Chelsea is a friend of yours, and I won’t ask that you ignore her. But please don’t hide anything from me. I’ve had shit-tastic boyfriends in the past, and I won’t put up with any of that. Ever.”

“Then I should probably tell you that I kissed Chelsea tonight.” The color drained from Stacey’s face. I held up my hand. “Don’t. It didn’t mean anything. I promise. And you know I’m telling the truth for two reasons.”

“And what might those reasons be? Did you misunderstand what I just said?”

I held up one finger. “Reason 1: I’m telling you. No secrets. I’ve never hid anything from you, and I won’t start now.” I flicked up a second finger. “Reason 2: well, it’s not a reason really, but I need to explain something to you. Kissing Chelsea was good. I know there won’t ever be anything else between us. Her kiss wasn’t the same as well…yours.” Oh hell. I didn’t realize it until the words fell out of my mouth. The kisses weren’t the same. They were different. Stacey’s left me stunned. Chelsea’s didn’t leave me feeling anything. It was just another kiss.
 

“There’s another stipulation.” Stacey didn’t respond to my revelation. Was that good or bad? Did she forgive me? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t going to ask. You know that whole line ‘no news is good news.’ Yeah, that’s what I went with.
 

“What’s the other stipulation?”

She pivoted on her hip to face me. “I still want to help you figure out how to control your rage outbursts, but I promise I won’t share anything you tell me with Dr. Greenberg. When I did it before I only told her to help you. Now I know it was wrong and ended up pushing you to something you weren’t ready to do. For that, I’m sorry. That’s why I’m just a lonely secretary rather than working on my internship.” Stacey closed her eyes and tilted her head back. “God, I’ve got a long ways to go.”

“Apology accepted.” I closed the distance between us and tugged her back to me. I kissed her this time. She pulled me tighter and wrapped her arms around my neck. Just like before my hands found her waist, but this time I slid my fingers under her shirt and took my time dancing my fingers up her side and over her ribs. When I reached her bra Stacey’s hands dropped from around my neck and pushed my hands down. She broke the kiss and pulled back to straighten her shirt.
 

“Not tonight.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry Luke. I can’t. I have to think about this first.”

“Stacey, it’s okay. I want you to be comfortable telling me when to stop. I’ll never push you farther than you’re willing to go.” I had to get back to the conversation and break the awkward silence that now hung between us. Talking about other guys wouldn’t have been my number one choice, but a small part of me hoped she’d divert the conversation to something else entirely. “Tell me about these shit-tastic guys you’ve dated.”

“Ha. Not happenin’ buddy. They’re in the past, a place I prefer not to dwell.”

She snuggled under my arm and laid her head on my chest. “So any other demands? You want a marriage proposal too?”
 

She poked my ribs making me squirm. “Asshole.” I laughed and tickled her. “I’ve got to graduate first. Then we can get married.”

“I’ll have to think about that. How about for now we watch TV?”

“Sounds good to me. It’s not like I’m going to sleep anytime soon.”

Ten minutes later Stacey’s eyes slid closed and her head rocked forward. It took too much energy to hold my own head up, so I lifted her from the couch and carried her to bed. I gently placed her down and drew her covers up. I swiped her hair from her face and left her with a kiss on the forehead. She smiled as she rolled on her side and whispered, “Good night.”
 

I went to bed with a smile on my face.
 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Chelsea jumped on my back and damn near knocked me into my locker. Books fell to the floor with a thwap. “I’m so sorry. So so sorry.” Kisses peppered my neck.
 

I chuckled and pulled her off my back. “Shouldn’t I be apologizing?”

“No, you told me how you felt. I pushed you.”

“So, we’re just okay?” I turned my back on her when I asked. I was afraid of her reaction, but not sure why.
 

“Yep.”

“Well, that was easy. What gives?”

“It’s okay. I knew better than to push that hard. So, what do you say I make it up to you tonight? Are you working?”
Fuck, she doesn’t give up!

“No, I can’t, I have plans already.”

Chelsea’s shoulders drooped. “Oh. Well okay, another time then.”

Oh shit, what did I do now? Hurting Chelsea’s feelings hadn’t made it on my to-do list for the day. On the other hand, things with Stacey and I changed last night. I didn’t want to screw up whatever chance we had to be together. This morning things were still great between us. A new feel took hold in the apartment. No more tiptoeing around each other, or trying to avoid the other. The sun shone through the kitchen window and the light seemed to multiply and shine through the house rather than blind you.
 

Rather than wake to the obnoxious sound of my alarm, the sweet smell of coffee invaded my senses and sent me rocketing out of bed. I stumbled into the kitchen to find Stacey propped against the counter, her fingers wrapped around her favorite mug. It was a view I’d never tire of seeing.
 

“Luke. Where’d you go?” Chelsea waved her hand in my face.

I shook my head. “Huh?”

“You spaced on me again. You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“Oh. Sorry. There’s nothing going on. Look, I need to talk to you after school.”

Chelsea bounced on her toes. “Great. We can meet up at the café.”

“I can’t. I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Greenberg this afternoon. Just be at my car as soon as you can.”

The day flew by. When boredom sat in, my thoughts drifted to Stacey or different calming techniques. Brandt and I were back on talking terms. I apologized a few weeks later, after things calmed down. He said it was no big deal. He shouldn’t have crossed the unwritten code when it came to talking about moms. Best buds didn’t describe our friendship. It was more like courteous acquaintances. Neither of us made a specific effort to talk to the other, but when we had class together or during gym we could carry on a conversation.
 

Brandt thought I should try out for wrestling. After the way I took him down - he was the star wrestler - he thought I’d make a great addition to the team. Although it sounded interesting, I knew the minute we hit the mats memories of fighting with Dave would weasel their way through my concentration. The chances of me losing control and getting in more trouble were too great for me to take the risk.

The final bell rang through the hallways. At my locker I shoved the books I’d need in order to study that night into my bag then sauntered out to the car. My high from the morning hadn’t worn off yet and the confidence I had felt good.
 

That’s when my world turned upside down. The man leaning against the hood of my car with his arms crossed over his chest sent my blood from cool to bursting out of the thermometer boiling. Dave.

My steps slowed as I calculated my chances of leaving the school grounds without getting into a fight. The slower pace gave Chelsea time to catch me before I made it to the car.
 

“Who’s that?” she asked.
 

“My mother fucking stepfather.” I stopped and faced her. “Look, I know I said we need to talk, but if he’s here, that’s no longer an option. So we’ll talk tomorrow. Go home Chelsea.”

“No way. You’re angry already. Your face is red and your hands are fisted so tight your fingers are white. If I had to guess I’d say you’ll have marks in your palms from your fingernails when you finally unclench them.”