Authors: E. L. Todd
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age
“What happened?” I asked.
Ryan and Janice were both silent. Janice was staring at her lap, trying not to cry, and Ryan stared out the window, his body turned away from her.
“Why did you fight?” I asked.
“He wanted the tattoo for free since I was late. I told him no.”
“So he tried to leave without paying and you wouldn’t let him?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think he’ll call the cops or something?”
“No. Two witnesses against none are slim odds. I’d like to see him try to file charges, especially when he threw the first punch. The cameras caught everything. If anything, I should sue that fucker for attempted robbery, assault, and attempted murder.”
“Will you?” I asked.
He stared at the people walking down the street as the cab drove closer to the apartment. “No.”
As selfish as it was, I was glad he wasn’t going to pursue it. If we were leaving for New York, then there wouldn’t be any time for that. Who knows how long we’ll be there. When the cab pulled over, Ryan paid the driver then we left the vehicle. We walked to the apartment, not speaking to each other the entire way.
Ryan unlocked the door. “Stay here.” He glared at Janice, silently threatening her if she defied him.
“Okay,” I said for the both of us.
Ryan walked inside then searched the apartment. He came back a few minutes later and ushered us inside. Ryan walked into his bedroom then slammed the door as loud as he could. We both flinched at the sound. Janice sat on the couch with
a sigh, even more miserable than she was earlier.
I sat next to her. “Don’t worry about him.”
“He’s never been this angry with me,” she whispered. She clenched her hands together tightly and stared at the television screen, lost in her own misery.
“But he’ll get over it.”
“I hate hurting him but I couldn’t do nothing. You understand, right?”
“I totally understand,” I said as I patted her hand. “Ryan is just—protective.”
“This has been such a shitty day.”
I sighed. “The worst one I’ve ever had.”
“I’m sorry about Sean but we’ll figure it out.”
I stood up then walked down the hallway. “I’ll be right back.”
She watched me go but said nothing.
I knocked on Ryan’s door.
“Go the fuck away,” he snapped.
“It’s me.”
“Is that supposed to matter?” he said through the door. “I don’t want to look at either of you right now.”
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“Talk to your wrestling partner out there.”
“S
top being annoying and just open the door.”
He growled then opened it
. “What?”
“I want to talk about Sean.”
He stared at me. “And what needs to be said?”
“I need to go to New York.”
“How’s that going to help? Are you trying to be bait?”
“If Sean is right, then Carl already knows where I live and where you live. If anything, we’ll be safer in the city. Besides, I need to be there for Sean.”
His rage seemed to disappear for a moment. “I don’t think that’s a good idea until we know more information. We need to stay out of sight.”
“That’s fine, but I want to be in the same city as him. It’s safer.”
He nodded. “You’re probably right.”
“So can we go?”
“Yeah. I’ll have to figure out what to do about the shop.”
“I didn’t even think of that.”
“Of course not. You are selfish just like your annoying best friend.”
“Ryan, she meant well. Just let it go.”
His face turned red with his anger. “I’m not having this conversation with you. I’ve never been more pissed in my life.”
“She was trying to protect you.”
Ryan slammed the door in my face. After a sigh, I returned to the living room. I could tell Janice heard everything by the water in her eyes. “He’ll come around,” I said quickly.
She and I watched television, unable to work because we were both too depressed to read. When it got late, I wanted to go into my bedroom but I was too scared to sleep. I would just have nightmares the whole time.
“I guess I’m sleeping on the couch,” Janice said as she grabbed a few blankets and laid them out.
Ryan walked into the room and just stared at her. When she felt his gaze, she looked back at him. He said nothing then walked away. Janice seemed to understand the silent conversation.
“Good night,” she said as she left the living room.
Since the house was quiet I decided to
go into my bedroom. After I lay down, I called Sean again but it went straight to voicemail. I wondered if his phone was taken away or if the battery died. I listened to his voice over and over until I thought I could fall asleep. The gentle sound of the headboard tapping against the wall played in the background. A few of Janice’s quiet moans escaped their bedroom and landed on my ears. I blocked out the sound then fell asleep.
The nightmares descended and I felt a knife around my throat, Carl laughing as he cut into the skin. When he was finished with me, he moved to Sean and did the same. He killed my entire family, saving Ryan for last. The nightmare faded but was replaced by another. Sean was in jail and he was beaten to death by another inmate. The tears slid down my cheeks until I finally woke up, sobbing. I controlled my breathing until I wasn’t hyperventilating anymore. Now I was scared. Every sound in the house made me flinch. I hugged myself then called Sean, listening to his voice. My heart was still pounding so I took my blanket and pillow and went into Ryan’s bedroom.
The door was open so I didn’t need to knock. They were both asleep in bed, completely clothed. When I walked inside, Ryan heard me. He sat up and stared at me in the dark.
“Can I sleep in here?” I asked. I felt horrible for asking. Ryan was practically married now and needed his privacy. But I was too scared not to ask.
“I can’t sleep. I—I’m too scared.”
“I can hear everything in the apartment, Scar. Don’t be scared.”
I held the pillow to my chest. “Please?” I begged.
He sighed then nodded.
I walked to the floor beside their bed then laid my stuff on the ground.
He got out of bed, wearing his basketball shorts and a shirt, then pulled the blankets down. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m already intruding enough.”
“Scar, it’s fine. I don’t want you lying on the floor.”
“I don’t mind.”
He kneeled and grabbed everything from the floor. “I’ll sleep on the couch
, then.”
Janice sat up. “No. I’m sorry, Scar, but no. Ryan sleeps with me.”
I looked at him. “Please just let me sleep on the floor. I don’t want to make this anymore inconvenient for you.”
Janice grabbed Ryan’s hand and pulled him back to bed. “Let her sleep on the floor.”
“Okay,” he said as he lied beside her.
I fixed the blan
kets then lied on the floor, feeling the strain against my back. It was still better than sleeping across the hall by myself. I felt safe close to Ryan, knowing he would protect me. With him a few feet away, I actually fell asleep. When we were little, he always used to protect me from our mom in the middle of the night. Now I was dependent on him when I was afraid. It wasn’t fair to Janice that I was hogging Ryan, but I knew she would understand in light of the situation.
3
As soon as I woke up the next morning I left their bedroom, wanting to give them privacy. I knew Ryan didn’t mind letting me sleep in the same room, but I knew it was awkward becau
se of Janice. He was exclusively hers and I understood that. It was just hard sometimes, especially during a hardship like this.
I drank coffee at the table and called Sean again. There was no answer. I had no appetite so I didn’t make any breakfast. When I heard their headboard
slam into the wall, I knew they were awake and aware that I wasn’t in the room anymore. I hadn’t even been a part from Sean for a day and I already missed him like crazy. I just wanted to talk to him. I was anxious to get to New York.
Ryan and Janice came into the living room awhile later. I could tell Ryan was stil
l pissed off at her by the way he didn’t look at her. His gaze never met hers and he wasn’t sweet to her like he always was. She had to pour her own cup of coffee and pull out her own chair. Ryan didn’t join us at the table. Instead, he took the newspaper into the living room, sitting on the couch.
“I’m sorry about last night,” I whispered.
“It’s okay, Scar. I know you’re scared.”
“I just don’t mean to infringe on your relationship—that’s all.”
“As long as you don’t do it all the time, I don’t mind.”
“Thanks. I just had nightmares all night and every sound in the house made me jump.”
“Ryan has a gun and he knows how to use it.”
My eyes widened. “He does?”
“He usually has it at the shop but he took it home. He was wearing it all day yesterday.”
“That just makes me more paranoid. I’m afraid he might need it.”
“Let’s hope he doesn’t,” she said as she stirred her coffee. She stared into the glass and sighed, obviously still depressed.
“He’ll come around,” I said, reading her mind.
“We’ve had our differences before but he’s never acted this way.”
“Well, it was a really bad situation.”
She sighed again.
“If you still have sex, that’s a good sign.”
“But it didn’t mean anything. He made that clear.”
“Yes it did. Ryan’s in love with you. Don’t ever lose faith in that.”
“Okay.”
If Ryan heard our conversation, he pretended he didn’t
, or didn’t care about what we were saying.
When there was a knock on the door, Ryan was the first to respond. “Stay.”
I glared at him. “We aren’t dogs.”
“Since you don’t listen to me, I have to fucking you treat you like one,” he snapped.
He looked through the peephole before he opened the door. “Hey, man. Thanks for coming.”
Cortland walked inside with his arm around Monnique. She seemed s
ad, miserable. Her eyes were red like she had been crying, and her lips were most from previous tears. She clung to Cortland like he was supplying her with any life she had left. I wondered if she knew about everything.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Monnique said nothing.
Cortland kissed her on the head before he came closer to the table. “Monnique’s mom passed away.”
“Ohmigod,” I blurted.
Janice gasped. “I’m so sorry.”
Monnique’s eyes became teary so she blinked them back. “Yeah.”
I stood up and hugged her tightly, patting her back. Janice moved in next then embraced her. Ryan came afterwards, saying his condolences. When everyone was done comforting her, we stepped back.
“Take a seat,” Ryan said, pulling out her chair.
Cortland guided her down and stood next to her.
“When did it happen?” I asked.
“A few days ago,” she said quietly. “Car accident.”
“We’re sorry for your loss, Monnique,” Ryan said.
She nodded, unable to speak.
Cortland rubbed her shoulders before he dropped his hands. “It’s been a really bad week.”
“I can imagine,” I said.
“Monnique was close to her mom,” he said.
No one responded to that.
Cortland looked at Ryan. “So what did you want to talk about?”
I felt my heart race. “Ryan, can
I talk to you for a second?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him away. “Just come.”
He jerked his hand away but followed me into the living room. “What?”
“Don’t tell Cortland about what’s happening.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why not?”
“Because of Monnique.”
“I’m not following.”
“If we tell him what’s going on, he’ll come with us. He’ll flip out and never leave my side because he’ll be so worried about me.”
“Which is the point,” he said sarcastically.
“Shut up and let me finish! He’ll leave Monnique. That would hurt her so much. She might even leave him because of it.”
“No offense to Monnique, but her mom is already dead. No amount of crying will change that. You are still alive and we need to keep it that way. Cortland would agree.”
“No. I can’t do that to him.”
“So you’
re just going to lie?”
“Ryan, he’s so happy with her. I don’t want to ruin what he has because of this. I know he would pick me in light of the situation.”
He sighed. “I would like to have the backup, Scar.”
“No. Don’t tell him.”
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“If I don’t draw a line for him, he can’t cross it. If he doesn’t support Monnique through this tragedy, she’ll never forgive him. That will always be a rough patch in their relationship if they decide to stay together.”
“This is more important, Scar.”
“No. I love Cortland. I won’t do that to him. You’ll just have to deal with it.”
He growled. “Your selflessness is really fucking annoying.”
“I know. I’m sorry.
Promise me you won’t say anything.”
“No.”
“What?”
“I won’t say anything. I don’t need to promise you shit. My word is good enough.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah.” He turned away and walked back into the kitchen.
Cortland eyed us for a moment. “So, everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Ryan said quickly. “I need a favor.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“Can you run the store for about a week?”
He stared at him incredulously. “Wait. What? I don’t know how to ink. I’m make your clients bleed to death.”
“I sa
id run the store, not draw ink.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Take care of the money. That’s it.”
“So I take the money and you ink?”
“Well, no. I won’t be around. I’m having a friend of mine work for me. His shop has been pretty slow. He’ll take eighty percent of the commission. I need you to make sure he doesn’t take more.”
“Where will you be?”
“In New York.”
“Why?”
Ryan paused for a moment. He was never a good liar. “I’m meeting Janice’s family.”
“For a week? Can you wait until the weekend?”
“Her—uncle died,” he said quickly.
“Oh,” he said sadly. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Yeah.” Ryan averted his gaze, unable to keep a straight face.
“Why can’t Scarlet run the shop? She’s done it before. No offense, but I already have a full time job and I have Monnique who really needs me right now.”
“Please just do it,” Ryan said.
“Hire someone.”
“I don’t trust anyone. You are the only I can have complete confidence in.”
Cortland shifted his weight to the other foot and thought for a moment. “Yeah okay.”
Ryan clapped him on the shoulder. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.”
“You owe me.”
“You want me to teach Monnique a few things?” he asked with a smile.
“I can still change my mind, you asshole.”
Ryan raised his hands. “Sorry, sorry.” He walked back to the table and sat beside Monnique, listening to her talk about her mom and the funeral. I felt bad for not being able to attend. Monnique wasn’t just Cortland’s girlfriend. She was part of our family.
Cortland stared at me, gauging my features. “Where’s Sean?”
“He’s at work,” I lied.
“Why can’t he watch the store?”
“He’s coming with us.”
“Why does everyone need to meet Janice’s family?” he asked with a laugh.
“Sean and I are gonna see his parents while we’re out there.”
“But you were just there.”
I shrugged. “Well, Sean misses them.”
I could tell Cortland was
n’t buying it. He studied my gaze, looking into my eyes. “Scar, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, looking away.
He stepped closer to me then wrapped his arms around me. “You can’t lie to me.”
“I’m—I’m just upset right now. It’s nothing.”
He hugged me to his chest, running his fingers down my back. When he held me I felt safe for a short moment in time. Cortland and I always had a unique relationship, different from any other. We were lovers before we were friends and were somehow stronger because of it. He was like a second brother to me.
“Is it Sean?” he whispered.
“Yeah,” I said quietly.
“Another fight?”
I hated lying to him but I couldn’t tell him the truth. I loved him too much to let him screw up what he had with Monnique. “Yeah.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“We’ll work it out.” I pulled away and looked at him. His hands were still wrapped around me. I was glad that Monnique was cool about our relationship. She was never jealous when Cortland hugged me or called me. I suspected it would be different when she knew the truth—that Cortland and I fooled around. “How are things with you?”
“Awful.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I hate seeing my girl in pain. There’s nothing I can.”
“Just be there for her. Holding her hand and being attentive is all you can offer her right now.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you meet her mom?”
“Once.”
“What was she like?”
“She’s was really nice. She made jokes about me being so white, but I know she liked me.”
“Was she fine like Monnique?”
He smiled. “She was a fox.”
I giggled but it was weak.
Cortland’s gaze turned serious. “Are you sure there’s nothing else bothering you?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I never lied to Cortland about anything. He was the one person I didn’t have to hide anything from. He always accepted me exactly as I was. Together, we hid secrets from everyone else in the group. But we never hid anything from each other. “No.”
“Okay,” he said as he lowered his hands. “So, is Ryan going to propose?”
That was a question I was not expecting. “No. Why?”
“Why else is he in such a hurry to meet her family?”
“Oh. Well, maybe that is why. I don’t think he would tell me if he was planning on asking.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised
if he was going to pop the question. He’s totally obsessed with her.”
“Yeah he is,” I said with a smile.
Cortland looked over at them and noticed Ryan wasn’t sitting with Janice. “That’s odd.”
“What?”
“She isn’t sitting his lap, practically humping him like usual.”
“Well, they’
re fighting right now.”
“About what?”
“It’s a long story, but basically we were all at the shop yesterday and Ryan got into a fight with a customer. When they were rolling around on the floor, Janice and I jumped in to help. Ryan wasn’t happy about that.”
Cortland’s jaw was clenched tight. “I don’t blame him. That was really dangerous, Scar.”
“I did what I had to do.”
“I’m sure Ryan would have gotten out of it. I would be so
pissed it Monnique did that. I don’t blame him for being so angry.”
“She meant well.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. When a guy is twice your size, he could break your sternum with a just a simple push. It’s really—”
“I got it,” I said quickly. “I’ve been bitched at by Ryan enough already.
“I’m sure Janice is going to get a lot more of it.”
“She’s sick of it too.”
Cortland ground his teeth together and I could see his jaw move slightly.
“Nothing happened so just forget about it.”
“You’re lucky nothing happened.”