Fight (#0.5, Fierce Series) (4 page)

He took my first kiss away from me.

I should’ve known better.

Sobbing on the toilet, I can’t help but
think about who actually does care about me. My mom and dad are too
busy fighting over the bills and money, and now that she’s sick,
things will go even more downhill. Brody isn’t around anymore, and
I miss him so much, but I can’t visit him
in college just like that. Evie is the only friend
I have left, but she’s not in the same class as me, and it’s
killing me to be alone right now. I’m afraid of my own thoughts.
Afraid of what I might think. Afraid of feeling that the world
might be better off without me.

Suddenly my name is called out through the
intercom. Jerked out of my thoughts, I lift my head and wait until
they repeat the message. They’re calling for me at the front desk,
which is never a good sign.

I get up from the toilet seat and blow my
nose with some toilet paper, flushing it before I leave the
restroom. I try to hide my reddened eyes behind my glasses as I
make my way through the halls. A man sitting behind the desk holds
up a phone, saying, “Autumn Blakewood?”

“Y-yes?” I stammer.

“It’s for you.”

For a moment I’m baffled. Students never get
phone calls through the school system. Unless it’s something really
important. Something earth-shattering.

With shaking fingers I hesitantly take the
phone from his hands and put it to my ears.

“Hello?”

“
Autumn …” It’s my dad. The croakiness in
his voice terrifies me. “Your mom was just admitted to the
hospital. It’s bad. It’s really, really bad. You need to come over
here right away.”

♥♥♥

A few hours later …

It smells horrible in here. I always hated
how hospitals smell, but now more than ever. I’ve been chewing on
my cheek for the past few hours, my hands clinging to the armrests
of my seat. Evie is sitting beside me, throwing glances at me every
now and then. She’s trying to make contact, probably looking for a
way in, trying to get me to talk, but my lips are slammed shut.
They have been for a couple of minutes now. I wouldn’t know what to
say anyway. My mom is in the hospital for some unknown, bad
disease, and I have no idea what’s happening to her or what they’re
doing in that room they took her to. I haven’t seen her yet, so I
don’t know what’s wrong, and it’s eating me alive.

Evie puts her hand on mine, the touch of her
fingers startling me, making me jolt up in my seat.

“It’ll be okay,” she murmurs. I know she’s
just trying to help, but it’s not making me feel any better about
the situation.

I’m shivering in my seat, counting the
seconds as the clock ticks painfully slow. My eyes dart back and
forth between the clock and the room my mom is in. I wish I knew
what was going on in there.

“Hey, what about Dave? What did you guys talk
about yesterday?” Evie suddenly asks.

“Huh?” I mutter. Only after a few seconds
does it register with me that she’s asking a question. “Oh …Nothing
really.”

“Oh, c’mon, you can tell me,” she says,
squeezing my hand.

“
We kissed,” I say, in the most monotone
voice ever. I’m not the least bit excited or interested in what
happened. Not after that phone call.

“What?” she says, gaping. “Are you kidding
me? So you two are a thing now?”

“Nope. It was all a game to him.”

She frowns. “A game? Oh no, don’t tell me he
was playing you.”

“
He was fooling me. It was fake. He kissed
me to make everyone laugh and humiliate me,” I say quietly, hoping
nobody except her hears it.

“Seriously?”

I nod, silently.

“What a jerk!” she yells.

A guy sitting across from me looks our way
as Evie makes a lot of noise, which is probably considered rude in
a hospital waiting area. He must’ve caught onto our conversation.
His quick glance throws me off balance, as those radiant grey eyes
pierce mine. For some reason they look familiar, but I don’t know
why. I wonder what he’s doing here, and if he too is waiting for
news from the doctor.

Suddenly, someone emerges from my mom’s
room, and my attention is gripped. The guy becomes a fleeting
memory as Evie and I walk hand in hand toward the doctor. The
terrible news he’d share would destroy whatever hopes I had left
for a better life.

Chapter 5

Finding Myself

Walking through school, I no longer feel
myself. Not since I heard the news. I feel like a part of me was
ripped out and left there, in the hospital. All I have now are the
memories of a past where everything was easy. I’m thankful for
every minute I get to spend with my mother now, but I don’t want to
think about the future. Not anymore. I don’t want to wish I had
more time with her.

When I open my locker to take out my
books
, I accidentally
drop my jacket. A note drifts out of the back pocket and lands on
the floor. I pick it up and notice it’s not anything like the
material I’m used to. It almost looks like toilet paper, that’s how
soft it is.

I unwrap it. There’s something scribbled on
the paper.

“
I don’t know your name, and you
don’t know mine, but it doesn’t matter, since I wouldn’t remember
it anyway. What matters is the friendly advice I have for you. I
would never let any
guy treat you like that. Nor should you. You deserve
better. Love - a Stranger.”

Frowning, I turn the paper around, but
there’s nothing else on there. I wonder what it means. It looks
like a guy’s handwriting. Is he talking about Dave? And if so, how
does he know?

So many questions, and I have no answers
to them, which frustrates me to no end. However, he’s right. This
note has gotten me thinking about my situation. Life is too short
to let anyone treat you badly, so I don’t intend on letting
something like that happen ever again.

I crumple the paper and put it in my back
pocket, unsure of what to do with it. I don’t want to lose it,
though, it’s a good reminder for me to keep my focus on what’s
important in life.

As I walk into class, people start
laughing and giggling, but I couldn’t care less. I’m emotionally
closed off. After my mother was diagnosed, this all feels so
idiotic, so unimportant. It really doesn’t move
me anymore.

When I pass the asshole named Dave, he
winces, and says, “Back for some more humiliation?”

For a moment I contemplate walking right
by him, but then a defensive part of me that’s been lurking
underneath my skin awakens. The guy who wrote that note was right.
I won’t let anyone, not even Dave, make a fool out of me anymore. I
don’t care about the consequences; I’m done trying to play nice
with everyone. If they won’t be my friend, they’ll be my enemy
instead.

I turn around and punch Dave straight in
the face. Adrenaline rushes through me as my fingers leave his
face, a mark left on the skin right where I hit him. With
astonishment he gapes at me, his mouth hanging slightly open as he
cups his jaw with his hand. The laughing has stopped. Everything
has died down. It’s so quiet, I could hear a pen drop. Everyone’s
looking at me while I turn around with a big smirk on my face and
sit down at my table, pretending to be unaware of all the blatant
stares.

This was the last day they’d ever tease
me.

♥♥♥

Two years later

I’m lying in the grass with Evie, wrapping
my head around the fact that we’ll be going to
colle
ge soon. It’s still
mind-blowing that we’re going to the same college. I never imagined
I’d get this far. Heck, I never imagined I’d make it through high
school.

We’re staring at the sky, making figures
in the air with our fingers, tracing the lines of the clouds. Life
feels better now that I’ve learned to ignore the bullies. However,
it doesn’t change the fact that things will be different from now
on. A lot. And I don’t know if I can adjust.

It’s been two years since my mom was
diagnosed. Her health has deteriorated quite a bit. It won’t be
long before she’s bedridden and unable to care for herself or my
dad. When that happens, I don’t know what I’ll be doing. I know he
can’t take care of himself, and my mom can’t handle being locked in
a house with him all day. If the disease won’t kill her, his
nagging will. They still fight. It never ends. So I’m glad I’m off
to college, escaping my home and venturing into a new life together
with Evie.

Turning my head, I glance at her. She’s the
only one who’s still here right beside me, supporting me in
whatever I do. She’s what’s kept me going all this time. She was
there when I heard the bad news about my mom, and she was there to
pick up the pieces of me. There’s no other best friend I could’ve
wished for.

I remember the times Brody was my only
friend. He was never this protective of me, but I still think back
fondly to my time with him. We’ll be sharing the same college soon,
and just thinking about it makes my stomach twist in both
excitement and anxiety. I can’t wait to see him again. I can’t wait
to live my own life and work toward my future.

I’ll need to study hard and work fast so I
can get a great job and get some money, so I can finally support my
family. Everything will be fine then. It must be. It’s the only way
my mom’s medical bills can be paid, and I sure as hell will make it
happen.

Somehow, after that day in the hospital, I
feel better, stronger, capable of handling everything that comes my
way. I may still be that shy girl that doesn’t speak what’s on her
mind, but I won’t let anyone walk all over me
ever again. I’ll make sure my family will
be okay, I’ll support them, by any means necessary, and I’ll never
turn my back on anyone who gives me what I crave the most:
Acceptance.

I know now that sometimes you have to put all
your restraints aside and go all out in order to succeed. Nobody
has the right to put me down when I know me and my family deserve a
better future. Funny how a stranger’s note can change your entire
outlook on life.

So here I am, staring at the clouds with my
best friend, saying mental goodbye’s to our senior year in high
school, while I mouth the words ‘thank you’ into the air, meant for
that one nameless person who thought I was worth it.

###

Read on for a peek at the first
chapter of
FIERCE

Embarrassing
Moments

Geeks at new schools are like boats trying to
sail on dry, uncharted land. They never fare well.

I draw in a huge breath and blow it out
before stepping out of the bus. The driver behind me chortles at my
reluctance to leave the comfort and safety of the bus. Of course,
he isn’t used to people actually preferring his bus over the
outside world. I’m sort of an exception to the usual people he
deals with, and that’s not a good thing.

On the contrary; I’m chicken-shit, and it’s
even worse that I know I am.

Seeing this gigantic campus and college in
front of me is terrifying. My legs are shaking, my heart is
pounding, and I wish I could just step back into that bus and get
as far away from here as possible.

But that would be sad. So sad, I think I
might cry from laughing at my own cowardice.

It’s really pathetic that these new things
scare me so much. Most girls would love new schools, getting to
know new people, experiencing the boys.

Just the thought of it makes my heart
race.

Nope, that’s not for me.

But I have no choice, either. I want to do
this. I always wanted to study. I need it. My family needs it.

I just have to stop whining, stop thinking
about it, and just go for it. Just do it!

Shaking my shoulders a little, I take a deep
sniff to smell the trees surrounding me, and march forward.

Suddenly, a cold jet of air surges toward me
from the left and catches me by surprise. I shriek as the waft of
air tangles my hair in front of my face and blows up my skirt.
There’s a loud noise coming from the thing blasting air at me.
Holding down my skirt so my panties aren’t exposed, I use my other
hand to keep my glasses straight and try to see what’s
happening.

“Sorry,” someone yells, and the turbulence is
turned off.

I’m left gasping while catching my breath. A
leaf blower had been pointed straight at me.

“Sorry about that,” he repeats as I pat down
my skirt.

“Thanks,” I mutter.

Great. What an awesome start to the first day
at college.

“You all right?” he says, directing his leaf
blower somewhere else.

“Fine,” I say.

“Uh … You might want to take a look at your
hair,” the guy says, clearing his throat.

“What?” I say, grasping for my head. Crunchy
leaves are coiled up in my hair.

My eyes widen as I start plucking all the
leaves out. I work to unravel the knots, trying to get it to go
down again, but my frizzy hair never gives in.

Oh, why does this always have to happen to
me?

Looking around I can see people staring at
me, hiding laughs behind their hands. I feel like I’m in the center
of attention, the focal point of the show. This is making me sweat
like crazy.

My eyes narrow as they catch the gaze of one
person in particular. A long, lean guy wearing a black leather
jacket, who’s standing a few feet away from me with a couple of
other guys. His flaring gray eyes narrow as I catch myself staring
right back at him. I blush when his plump lips slowly curl up into
a cheeky smile.