Fight (#0.5, Fierce Series) (2 page)

I look down at my legs and try to see what
she means, but I seriously don’t get what she’s getting at.

“They look horrible,” another girl says.

The third girl starts laughing. My cheeks
turn red as a beet, and I frown.

“Girl, you can’t wear that to school.”

“
I-I don’t have anything else,” I
stutter.
I feel cornered
by these girls.

“Where do you get your clothes?”

“Uhm … Walmart,” I mumble. I don’t know why
they’re asking me all these questions. I don’t even know why I’m
answering, but it feels rude not to.

They chuckle. “Oh god …” one of them
says.

“Seriously, hun? You really gotta shop at a
better store. Like Zara,” another one says.

Frowning, I sigh and fold my arms. “I
can’t.” I wish I could. I wish I could decide where to shop and
what to wear. I wish money grew on trees.

“Why not? Who buys clothes at Walmart
anyway?” She smirks, and I just want to smack her right in the
face, but I don’t. That’s not who I am. I would never do that. I
wouldn’t even try. I’m too much of a wimp. Besides, there’s no
telling what they’d do to me if I did that. I don’t want to get
into a fight.

“It’s none of your business,” I say.

They start laughing again. It hurts so
much to hear the sound. It’s like they took my heart, cut it from
my chest, and stomped on it.

As I walk past them, one of them jerks my
hair, pulling down my ponytail. Tears well up in my eyes. I can’t
take this. I can’t go into class feeling humiliated like this.

So I run to the nearest bathroom and lock
myself in a stall.

♥♥♥

I’m eating lunch with Brody, trying to
keep my head down so I don’t draw any attention to myself. We’re
tucked into our little corner at the end of the lunchroom.
Nobody bats an eye at us,
except when Brody accidentally knocks over his soda right in front
of one of those girls from my class.

“Hey! Watch it.”

“Sorry,” he says.

“Jerk,” she says, scowling at him before
walking away.

Some other girls pass and take a quick
glance at me, giggling, passing some gossip to each other, which I
can’t overhear. I don’t even need to hear it to know they’re
talking about me.

I feel embarrassed, so I hide my face by
supporting it with my hands, and stare at the full plate of food in
front of me. I couldn’t eat one bit, not even if I wanted to.

“
Hey, don’t think about them.” Brody smiles
at me, but it’s more of a pity smile than a happy smile. I
k
now he’s trying to
cheer me up and make me feel better, but it’s not working. He
doesn’t realize how much they tease me here. I would even go so far
as to call it bullying.

“They’re not worth it,” he adds.

I sigh. “I know. I just can’t pretend
they’re not there. I hear them laugh. I feel them push me around. I
hear them call me names. One of them even shoved a note in my
backpack that said I was an ugly one-eyed monster.”

“
You can pretend. When I’m not there, just
put on some music when you’re around them. Then you won’t hear
anything.”

“
And then what? I’ll still see their faces.
I know they’re watching me, and they’ll still be talking about me.
Just because I can’t hear it, doesn’t mean it’s not real. Knowing
they’re doing it is enough.”

“But you can just close your eyes and think
about something else, right?”

“
No!” I drop my hand on the table, making
an unusual amount of noise. “It’s real. It hurts.”

Suddenly I notice everyone’s watching.
Their glares pierce my skin as I turn around in my seat.
Embarrassment doesn’t even begin to cover what I feel right
now.

Brody clears his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t
mean to upset you.”

I take a deep breath and cringe in my seat,
trying to make myself as tiny as humanly possible. I swear, if I
could disappear right now, I would do it. No question about it.

Brody reaches for my hand, gently taking it
in his, squeezing tight. “I’m really sorry. I know you’re having a
difficult time.”

I just smile and look at him. I don’t know
what to say.

“I wish I was there to put a stop to it, but
I can’t. So I’m here for you during lunch time and whenever I have
the chance. Anyway, I’m here for you,” he says.

I throw him a quick lopsided smile. “Thank
you. I appreciate it.”

I’m glad I have at least one friend in
high school.
He’s my
only support right now. Especially since it’s not going so well at
home. There’s no one else I can go to at the moment, but even that
will come to an end. Soon, Brody will graduate, and I’ll be left to
fend off the bullies on my own.

I wonder if I’ll survive.

♥♥♥

Stepping up the porch, my heart feels like
it sinks back into my chest. Coming home isn’t like it was when I
was still young and naïve. Back then I believed everything was
perf
ect, no problems.
Life as a kid is such bliss. Maybe I was just ignorant, maybe I
should’ve seen before that my parents were just playing pretend for
my sake. When I look back now, I’m thankful they did this for me.
But now that I’ve lost my rose-colored glasses, I miss not knowing
the struggles of everyday life.

As my hand drifts over the door handle,
their yelling bursts right through the
wooden door. This house can’t contain the misery
that’s inside it.

Sighing, I enter the house and close the
door behind me. I try to be as quiet as I can, hoping they don’t
notice I’m here. I don’t want them to involve me in their fight.
It’s not me they’re fighting about. I used to think that was the
case when I was a little younger, but
now I realize what’s really going on.

Money
problems.

The steps of the stair creak, and suddenly my
mother appears in the door opening. Shit. I’ve been caught.

“
Hey!” she says cheerfully, as if she’s all
happy. As if they weren’t just arguing.

“What’s up?” I say.

“Well, aren’t you going to say hi? How was
your day?”

I sigh. “Just like always.”

“Oh, honey …” She comes closer and places a
hand on my arm. I appreciate she’s trying to help me get over it,
but it’s not something that I need right now. Besides, I feel like
I don’t deserve her pity. She’s got it tough too, and I think their
problems are much bigger than mine. I can’t believe she wants to
take the time to talk about mine. She’s got enough on her plate as
it is.

“Things will be okay,” she says.

“How? They’re not quitting.”

“It will, believe me.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. She
keeps telling me this, but I’ve got my doubts. What bothers me more
is that I don’t have a happy family to come home to anymore. My
life at school is disastrous, and now my family is breaking down
too. I wish things could just go back to the way it used to be. If
that’s even possible. Maybe we could just pretend again.

“Mom…”

“What is it?”

I want to ask her if they can stop fighting.
If they could make it at least bearable for me at home. If they
could turn it into a safe haven again, so the bad feelings won’t
follow me here from school.

But then I realize that’s selfish. I can’t
ask that from her. “It’s nothing,” I say, and then I run up the
stairs.

Chapter 3

Finding Friends in Strange
Places

1 year later

The light from the bulb hanging above me
shining down on my page is interrupted by someone walking toward
me. He stops right in front of me. It takes me a few seconds to
tear my eyes from the book I was reading and up to his face.

“Hey Brody.”

“What are you reading?” he says, smiling.

I show him the cover.

“Harry Potter again?”

“It’s only my fifth time!”

He sighs. “Only? Seriously, you have the
craziest addiction ever to this book series.”

“Hey, don’t judge me,” I say, chuckling.

A smirk appears on his face. The long blue
robe doesn’t suit him at all. It kind of makes me laugh. “You look
like a dork.”

“A graduating dork.” He holds out his hand.
“You coming?”

I grab his hand and he helps me get up from
the floor. I put my book back in my bag and follow him outside to
the ceremony. It’s his graduation, but I’m so not ready for this. I
hate having to walk into a big crowd. I’d much rather stay in my
little corner, reading.

But I need to see this. I need to be here for
him, like he’s always been there for me.

I sit down in my seat and wait until the
ceremony starts.
I’m
cheering so hard for Brody when he steps onto the stage. Everyone’s
clapping when his name is called out, and he walks forward in his
blue gown. I feel lucky I can be here to watch him graduate. He
gave one of the few seats he could invite people for to me. It
means a lot to me to know that he wants me to be here, to see him
succeed.

The smile on his face seems permanent as
he shakes the principle’s hand and receives his paper.
I’m happy, and yet I can’t stop
this bad feeling gnawing at my stomach. Something’s weighing me
down, and I don’t want it to, but I can’t stop the feelings from
flowing. I know that this is his final day here. I’ll be on my own
at school. Once he’s gone, the bullies will certainly get to me.
I’m not sure I can protect myself from them.

He
’s my guardian, he stayed my friend throughout it all. He
keeps me from being pushed to the brink of breaking down. Now that
he’ll be leaving, he won’t be able to anymore.

Looking to my left, I notice I’m one of the
few younger people in the crowd. Most are parents, cheering on
their kids. There’s one other girl my age, somewhere at the end of
a row of seats adjacent to mine. When she turns her head and looks
at me, her cheeks flush and she smiles. I smile back. I feel a
little uncomfortable knowing I got caught checking everyone out,
but then again, I don’t mind. She’s a girl, not a boy. Only boys
make problems of me staring at them. They always laugh at me or
tell their friends I’m in love with them. It’s not true and so
embarrassing, but it’s not like they’ll believe me. Nobody believes
the underdog.

♥♥♥

2 months later

Entering the cafeteria, my lungs feel like
they are squeezed to death. I’m terrified. Every single time I come
here, I feel threatened, violated, abused. There’s nowhere I can
sit. All the tables and seats are taken, and if they aren’t,
people will make it seem like
they are, placing bags on them or throwing garbage on the seats.
Anything to avoid me having to sit next to them.

Everybody wants me gone.

Air is unable to flow through my body as I
freeze. I can’t breathe. People are watching me. All eyes are on
me, although I have no clue why. I don’t even know if what I’m
seeing is real. Are they really looking at me? What are they
looking at? Is there something wrong with me? Am I just being
paranoid?

I can’t think. I can’t even move one inch
without feeling like I’m about to die.

I feel alone and helpless.

So I turn around and make a run for
it.

I wish Brody was here. I wish he could be
here to support me, like he always did. Now that he’s gone, I don’t
think I can survive.

I should be strong, but I’m not. I don’t
know why I became the way I am, but as soon as I set my eyes on
another person I immediately get wary. I always think they’re
intent on hurting me, one way or another. It’s cruel that I turned
out this way, constantly on the lookout, constantly feeling in
danger. Bullies make me feel this way.

I run into the nearest bathroom and slam
the door shut behind me. Breathing heavily, I sink down to the
floor with my back against a stall, trying to catch my breath.
Tears come pouring out. All the emotions I keep tucked inside me
come flooding out. I can’t stop the tears from running. It’s like
someone pulled the plug. Maybe it’s because I’ve tried so hard to
remain strong in class, even when there was no one around to
protect me from them.

They’ve been throwing paper at me all day.
When the teacher left the classroom f
or a minute, they belittled me and called me names
like ‘Hippo’ because of my body, and ‘Googley Eyed’ because of my
glasses. I never thought I was fat. Not until they said I
was.

Each time they mention something, I
question whether they are right or not. Every word they utter chips
away a little, eating at my soul. Somehow, their words seep into my
brain and make me believe they’re actually right.

I don’t want to hear it anymore. I don’t want
to live through it. I don’t want to be near anyone, not if they
keep making me feel this way. I’d rather be miserable alone than be
miserable with a bunch of people.

Suddenly someone pries open
the door handle, and I’m
holding my breath. I wipe away the tears from my face before she
comes in. It’s a girl, somewhere my age, and I recognize her face
as being that girl in the crowd who I stared at when Brody
graduated. The girl with the chestnut brown hair and radiant
smile.

She closes the door behind her and stares at
me. It’s silent for a few seconds. “Is it okay if I sit next to
you?” she asks.