Fifteen Going on Grown Up (19 page)

Corrinne and Clia were waiting where the roads met, but Hally could barely make them out until she was almost next to them. They said their good mornings, linked arms and carefully made their way through the fog to school. Strange shapes greeted them along the way as they bumped, sometimes literally, into groups of people they knew; not being able to make out who was who until they were near or recognised a voice. Eventually, and without harm they reached the school gates, thankful that it was almost time for the bell as the fog was not just dense but very cold.

Hally had a very normal day at school. Lessons which she thought were going to be a lot more challenging; were in fact no more difficult than the previous year, and she was very relieved about this. She did find the workload heavier, but much more interesting. She felt she was completing tasks with more intensity and content, and so far all her assignments had been returned with high marks and very positive comments.

The fog did not clear at all throughout the day and the return journey home was a repeat of the morning. Corrinne and Clia had arranged to go with Hally to her house, deciding that they would all three complete their homework together. Mum was not home when they got there, and Hally accepted that she had probably picked Nathan up from school and gone to Gran’s. With the kettle on, the girls unpacked their books from their bags and prepared to settle at the kitchen table. Soon, with hot coffee by the side of them, they were deep in concentration over their homework. Occasionally they spoke, asking each other a question, or seeking advice or approval on something they had written; but for the most part of an hour and a half, they worked quietly. They had just stacked their books and sat back with fresh coffees as mum came in the door with Nathan, followed by dad.

“Hi baby, Corrinne, Clia.”

Mum said as she planted a kiss on top of her daughter’s head.

“Hi Tink, girls.”

Dad said, as he did the same. Nathan squeezed past them all dropping his bag and coat on the floor as he dashed past them.

“Hold it!”

Dad said in a firm voice. The girls giggled as Nathan skidded to a halt and meekly turned around, his chin on his chest. Dad pointed to the little pile without having to say anything, and Nathan, sliding his feet along the floor slowly and with a big exaggerated sigh picked up his things.

“And put them away properly.”

Mum called after him as he plodded out of the room. Hally looked at her friends and together they giggled at her little brother’s antics.

“He’s so cute.”

Clia announced. Mum nodded in agreement but added with a more serious note.

“But we still need to be firm with him. He sort of understands what’s going on with his Gran, but we can’t let that be an excuse for letting him get his own way. Mostly, he just needs reminding that we won’t run around after him, that there are certain things he has to do for himself. It’s just normal growing up really.”

“Was I that much of a pain mum?”

Hally asked.

“Nathan’s not a pain angel, he’s just a normal little boy that needs a normal amount of discipline. But you, well…”

She stopped and looked at her daughter with a smirk on her face.

“Oh mum.”

Hally said tutting. Dad gave her a squeeze on her shoulder and as he made his way out of the kitchen called back.

“Yep, you were a pain in the neck, back and arse.”

He then laughed and jogged out before Hally could get up. This made them all laugh, and with a smile Hally said to all of them.

“I’ll get him back.”

Wes came over later that evening and as mum and dad were in the study chatting to friends on the internet, they had the lounge to themselves. Snuggled up against him watching television, Hally felt very content. Although Wes had kept his word and kept his affections to just kissing and cuddling, Hally’s body was still very much in turmoil when he did this. She knew he knew this and she wanted to talk to him about it; but she still felt shy and didn’t have the confidence to broach the subject. Unknowingly, she let out a really big sigh and was taken aback when he spoke.

“Hals, what’s up?”

“Huh, oh…nothing.”

She stammered. Sitting up a bit and turning towards her he said.

“Hally, I know you have something on your mind. What is it?”

Trying to bury her face into his jumper she shook her head and mumbled.

“Nothing.”

He took her chin in his hand and lifted it away from his chest. Looking directly into her eyes he pushed for an answer.

“Tell me please. Have I done something?”

Quickly she shook her head.

“Oh no Wes. It’s just, um, well. Oh cripes.”

She felt her face burn, partly with embarrassment and partly pure shyness. Taking her face in both his hands he said very gently.

“You can tell me anything Hally.”

“You will just think I’m some stupid little kid.”

She told him, and much to her dismay felt tears welling in her eyes. Wes saw the tears and gently brushed them away with his thumb.

“Nothing you say or do would make me ever think that.”

He told her sweetly.

“Well…”

She tried, but her voice came out as a whisper. He leaned forward and gave her a little kiss on the lips. At once she felt the burning low down in her body and she leaned in for a fuller and deeper kiss. Wes accepted her kiss and then pulled back, again looking deep into her eyes.

“I think I know.”

He told her. Again she felt her face burn but this time met his eyes and clearing her throat said.

“I just feel like, well, you know, that time in the garden ages ago, well you have never done anything like it again. The thing is, I want you to, like most times when we kiss and we are on our own. Well I don’t mind, I mean it’s ok, it really is.”

Still holding her face in his hands Wes took a big sigh.

“Hally, babe. I really want to as well. But for now I can’t do that to you.” Hally’s face began to crumple. “Baby, please, it’s not because of you. I just want us to wait, at least until you are sixteen.”

“But that’s ages away.”

As she said this Hally realised how childish to her it sounded, like Nathan waiting for his dinner.

“Oh God, that sounded really bad, like a little kid. Wes, I’m sorry, oh I don’t know what I’m saying.” Then she realised what he had said. “So you think we will be together for my birthday then?”

Wes gave a small laugh.

“Well I have no plans to go anywhere, what about you?”

With a very big smile she shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“No I don’t.”

She said in a whisper, and although her body still ached and burned she set her mind to believe what he said and wait.

As Christmas approached the days settled into a pattern for Hally. She would come home from school, sometimes with Corrinne and Clia, sometimes alone; complete her homework and wait for her parents. Some days she would detour from school and go to her Grandparent’s house and frequently Corrinne and Clia joined her. Because of this busy schedule Hally had only re-visited Wes’ home twice since her initial visit. She wasn’t worried about this though, but as yet had still not met Ellie, as each time she had been to Wes’ Ellie had been in bed. Wes told her he would make sure they would meet over Christmas.

Nurse Mildred had now become almost a part of the family. She was definitely the force that held them all together, always bright and smiling but always very gentle; completely aware of their feelings and fluctuating emotions. She could sense minute changes as though she were psychic and step in before something became too tense. This was especially the case with Nathan. He was after all just a little boy who wanted and needed to play, but was also in a position where he understood that he had to try and limit his activities. So, on rare occasions when mum was about to run out of patience, Nurse Mildred would take Nathan by the hand and take him into the kitchen and play a game with him. She would even take him out into the garden and kick a football around with him.

Many times when they were all together at Gran’s, Hally would sit back quietly and just watch her family. She saw her Granddad pottering around the house or in his shed acting like everything was the same as it always had been. But when he thought no one was looking, Hally would see the pain and despair in his eyes. She would watch him push his food around on the plate and nibble at it as though it had no taste. She would hear him laugh out loud at Nathan’s antics and play with him as usual but with an air of false enjoyment.

Watching her own mother tore at Hally’s heart. She could not imagine life without her mum, so how could her mother get by without hers. But, mum always kept a brave face on. She was almost as strong as Nurse Mildred, no stronger, Hally told herself. Because, as caring and gentle as she was, it was Nurse Mildred’s job, whereas mum was going to lose a part of herself. Hally silently observed her mum carefully and gently help Gran hold her tea cup, guide her knife and fork, or as though caring for a new born baby wipe her face with a soft cloth when something spilled. Never did she complain, or tire of looking after her so very sick mother.

Colin spread his time with work and supporting his wife and children. He had lost both of his parents many years earlier, his father who had a major heart attack and his mother soon after from a stroke. Hally had been small and Nathan not even born, so both children had grown up with just one set of grandparents. Because of this, Colin could see the impact of his mother in law’s illness on all of them. At times he felt completely helpless, knowing there was very little he could do to relieve the pain they were all suffering so deeply. So, he made sure the day to day running of the home went smoothly. He was lucky to have a well paid job, and lucky that the job itself didn’t demand more of his time than his usual working hours. This meant he too could spend time with his in laws, his wife and children and lend his support to all.

Hally saw her family as an arch, each holding the other up, she only hoped that the whole thing would not crumble and fall when one or all was weakened with sorrow. She resolved that she would make sure each of them would have the others to depend on when the time came; when they all had to cope with the ultimate loss, the death of her Grandmother.

On the Saturday two weeks before Christmas Hally awoke at seven feeling very much in the spirit of the season. She was going Christmas shopping with Clia and Corrinne and had a mental list of the presents she was going to buy. Wes was working a split shift at the Hotspot, so the girls fully intended to start out early, have lunch at the café (Wes had hinted to Hally that the two boys he’d mentioned would be there, but she hadn’t told the girls just in case they were not.) then complete all of their shopping in one day.

Corrinne and Clia arrived at eight thirty shaking raindrops from their coats before coming in. The weather had been changeable for days; switching between freezing fog, to sleet, back to fog and ice and now to heavy rain. However Hally and her friends were determined not to let the weather deter them from their plans. Before they set off for town, Hally made hot drinks and the three sat at the kitchen table sipping from their cups and telling each other what they were buying for their families.

“Well I’m going to buy Nathan another character toy from his favourite programme. He’s been going on about one called Tankman; he’s one of the good guys and part of Crewman’s team; so I told mum and dad I would get it. I have it reserved at the Toy Store because I think it’s quite popular.”

Hally told her friends. Both girls looked at her completely familiar with the characters Hally was talking about.

“Oh, I love that shop and we can get something for him too.”

Said Corrinne.

“But you two don’t have to buy him presents.”

Hally tried to protest but Clia shook her head.

“We know we don’t have to, but he’s like our little brother too. So, well we want to.”

Corrinne smiled and nodded, so Hally gave up trying to argue her case.

Mum and dad were already out, mum at Gran’s and dad with Nathan at football training. Mum had insisted Hally take the whole day and spend it with her friends, just being teenagers. Hally had tried to argue, saying she would split the day, but mum wouldn’t hear it, so Hally, feeling a little guilty agreed to her mother’s wishes. Now, sitting with Corrinne and Clia, she was glad her mum had insisted. She realised that she did need a whole day away from the stress of her Gran’s illness and she had her mobile with her if she was needed.

As expected, the town was very busy. Parents, with harassed and strained looks on their faces practically dragged their young children from shop to shop. People with umbrellas jostled and bumped into each other as they all fought for space along the pavements. Even in the pedestrianised shopping area, couples holding hands, families with children and buggies, groups or single shoppers rushed about or queued at checkouts. All the coffee shops and cafés were packed with shoppers taking a break, their windows fogged with steam.

At first the girls just wandered about various shops looking at the huge variety of products all designed especially for Christmas. They pushed buttons on musical gifts creating a complete racket as various snowmen, santas, reindeer and more sang or played different Christmas tunes or hymns. Some harassed looking shop assistants frowned, others smiled at the girls’ mischievous antics. Giggling the girls dashed from shop to shop, sometimes being beaten by others, including adults doing the same thing. At one large department store, the girls stopped to play with some of the novelty toys on display and found themselves competing with grown men who were supposedly buying gifts for their wives or girlfriends.