Fifteen Going on Grown Up (17 page)

She mumbled into his sweatshirt. He rubbed her back gently murmuring soft words of comfort. Then he led her to a chair and turned to put the kettle on. When they were both sitting with hot chocolate, Wes asked her to tell him about the dream.

“I was back in Dana’s house, but on my own this time. I could see my number on the calendar and it seemed to be much bigger and it was flashing red. Everything was really quiet and there didn’t seem to be anyone there, just me. Then I heard a sound from upstairs. I realised someone was calling my name. It was weird, like a radio station slightly out of tune, it seemed to come and then fade. I had to go up the stairs, yet I knew there was something up there that I didn’t want to confront. I went up and only one door was open. Dana was standing in the doorway, she was grey and was pointing at me. Then she said in that weird voice. “Hally why didn’t you help me?” then she sort of floated towards me with her hands reaching for me, and that’s when I woke up.”

She shivered at the memory of the nightmare and Wes came around the table and put his arms around her. He whispered gently.

“Maybe you should go and see Mr Austin.”

Hally nodded into his forearm.

“I think maybe I should. I’ll speak to him tomorrow. Oh cripes, it already is tomorrow, it’s gone four. Oh Wes I’m sorry, you must be shattered.”

Laughing softly Wes kissed the top of her head.

“I’m alright.” And at the disbelieving glance she gave him. “Really, I am, and I will stay with you as long as you want me too.”

They were still sitting in the kitchen quietly talking when dad came down at half past six to get ready for work. He gave a startled “Oh!” as he saw them. Hally stood up and refilled the kettle for her father.

“I had a really bad nightmare and didn’t want to wake you and mum, so I rang Wes and he came over.”

Dad nodded, accepting the explanation, but answered with a little frown.

“Darling, we wouldn’t have minded you waking us.”

“Waking who? Oh, hi Wes”

Mum said as she came into the kitchen too.

“Have I missed something?”

Hally made tea for them all and explained to her parents why Wes was there so early, and though it gave her more tremors, retold the nightmare to them.

“I’ll call the school and tell them you won’t be in today.”

Mum stated matter-of-factly. Hally quickly shook her head.

“No it’s alright mum. I want to go in, and I will go and see Mr Austin. I’m sure the dream was just a reaction to yesterday, you know the questions and that reporter. I don’t want to sit around all day it will probably make me think about it more than I should.”

Mum didn’t argue, instead busying herself with breakfast preparations.

Hally saw Mr Austin before lunch. She was surprised by how comfortable she felt sitting and bearing her soul. For an hour, she talked about the bullying she had suffered and the trouble Dana had caused at the party. She talked about how her relationship with Wes had helped her become more confident; and she poured out all her fears about the guilt she felt over Dana.

Mr Austin sat and listened, rarely commenting or questioning. By the end of the session he had made a few notes which he went through with Hally.

“I just have to keep a brief record of this meeting, but it is all confidential and kept locked in the main office.”

He told her as he placed the notes into a new folder with her name on the front. Hally wasn’t at all worried about this; she felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her.

“I think you are very strong Hally. You have a supporting family and friends and having nightmares is a way of our minds dealing with our fears. By talking about it, you are helping yourself analyse it. I won’t make formal appointments for you to see me because I think you will find a way to deal with this yourself. But, I would like to stress, that you should keep talking to your family and friends, and any time you need to see me, I will be available.”

The fact that this statement didn’t bring tears to Hally’s eyes showed her how far she had already come. She thanked him and made her way to meet Corrinne and Clia from their respective maths lessons.

Chapter 11

Wes and Gran

Over the next two weeks, interest in Dana began to wane and Hally found herself being bombarded with questions less and less. Although this was a great relief, it also filled her with a deep sadness. It was like people were forgetting who Dana was. There was no one to care, she had no other family and her friends, though sometimes seen huddled together holding tissues; were more often seen causing trouble for the
teachers or other students.

Despite what Dana had put Hally through over the years, she had asked PC Duston to let her know when the funeral was. Hally’s parents expressed concern over her intention to go, but respected their daughter’s wishes and mum said she would go with her. Corrinne, Clia and Wes all said the same and so it was on a very cold, dull Friday morning late in October; that the small group made their way to the local church. The hearse was already there, the coffin still inside. Hally could see two wreaths laying on top, one she recognised, a simple arrangement of white lilies, which they had ordered; and wondered who the other was from.

Quietly they made their way inside and pitifully saw just two people there who were not from the funeral directors. One was Reverend Hayward, and the other was Mr Hopkins. Now Hally understood the other wreath must have come from the school. There was no sign of Penny or any of the other girls Dana had been friends with, and Hally realised that friends was obviously not a word Dana knew much about. The complete loneliness and aloneness of the girl brought tears to Hally’s eyes and she leaned into Wes and quietly let them flow as they took seats in the front pew.

The service was short and poignant, so too was the burial. Hally was all cried out by then; and simply stood in the cold next to her mum, friends and boyfriend on one side of the grave with Mr Hopkins on the other. When it was over, Mr Hopkins spoke briefly with the Reverend, then thanked Hally and the others for coming. He told them he did not expect them to come into school for the rest of the day, then he turned and left them so that he could return to school.

The Reverend also thanked them and left them and for a while they just stood looking into the grave. Mum put her hand on Hally’s shoulder and gently said.

“Come on love. Let’s go.”

Hally looked up at her mum.

“Can I just have a minute here by myself?”

Mum glanced worriedly at Wes and he answered.

“Ok babe, we’ll just wait by the gate. Don’t get cold.”

He kissed her gently on the cheek, then they all turned and slowly walked towards the arched entrance to the church.

Hally stared into the grave at the five red roses they had dropped onto the coffin. She felt numb and not just because the day was so cold. She just could not comprehend how a mother could leave her child so alone to fend for herself. Nor could she understand how so called friends could not even come and say a last goodbye. She sighed deeply, so grateful for what she had.

“Sorry to disturb you love, but we have to get on here.”

Two men in work clothes with shovels stood nearby indicating the open grave. Hally gave a little start and then a shudder. She did not want to be there when they filled in the gaping hole with the heavy soil, which she only just realised was close and covered with what looked like a green grassy looking cover.

“Oh! Um, sorry, I’m going now.”

She mumbled, and quickly turned and walked hurriedly away from the grave. She reached the others without looking back. Wes took her hand and together they all made their way back to Hally’s home.

Over the next two weeks Hally plunged herself into her schoolwork. Although not really behind, she felt the time she had taken away from school had impacted on her studies. Corrinne and Clia had the same attitude and the three friends spent evenings studying together, sometimes Wes joined in, but most evenings with him she spent alone. Occasionally, Hally got scared that the time she gave to Wes was time away from the girls, and during the night when she was alone in bed; she would imagine Corrinne and Clia getting closer but further away from her. In the mornings, when she was fresh and rested and they all met up for school and they were just their normal selves; she pushed these fears deep down and away.

On a very cold and damp Saturday afternoon early in November, Hally met up with Corrinne and Clia to go into town. Wes was working in the Hotspot and the girls had decided to start looking for Christmas presents. They had decided that they wouldn’t buy anything yet because they all agreed it was still a bit early, and Hally had spent quite a bit of her money on Wes’ birthday present at the beginning of the month, but thought they would browse the shops and get ideas. After traipsing from one shop to another, they stopped in a coffee shop for a rest. Over hot steaming coffee and general chat about their presents ideas, the conversation became more serious.

“So, how is your Gran?”

Corrinne asked Hally.

Hally sipped her drink and smiled.

“She’s really good at the moment. Nurse Mildred says she’s stabilised and they’re managing her pain quite well. You know how Gran is, won’t let on to us how she feels ‘cos she doesn’t want to worry us. Like we’re not out of minds most of the time anyway.”

The girls nodded their understanding.

“Sorry we haven’t visited her in a while.”

Clia said bashfully. Hally’s night time fears crashed into her mind. She actually hadn’t realised the girls hadn’t been to Gran’s in a little while. She put her cup down shakily. It rattled in the saucer and the girls noticed straight away something was wrong.

“Hally?”

Clia said.

“Corrinne, Clia, are you drifting away from me?”

The girls looked shocked, Hally felt shocked too. She had not intended to ask that very question, it just came out, like her subconscious had taken over. Corrinne leaned forward and grabbed one of Hally’s hands, Clia grabbed the other and said.

“Hals, sweetie, never, I mean never, ever, ever. We have been best friends for like, as long as I can remember. Nothing will change that. Even if one of us emigrated to Mars, we would still be best friends, you know chat on the phone, email.”

This brought laughter to all of them.

“What made you think that anyway Hally?”

Corrinne asked seriously.

“It’s just something that crept up on me in the middle of the night. You know, I spend quite a lot of time with Wes and I got scared that you two would… well…”

She couldn’t bring herself to say what was in her mind. The girls seemed to be able to read her thoughts anyway and Corrinne answered.

“Hally, we love it that you have such a great boyfriend, and honestly, it’s really only the odd night that we get together when you are with him. Mostly, we stay at home and do other stuff, we really treasure our time when the three of us are together, but Clia and I…” She looked at Clia. “Well, it’s just not the same when it’s not all three of us.”

Clia nodded in agreement.

“And, well we are still hopeful that your hunk will turn up one day with a couple of dishy lads for us.”

Clia added with a giggle. This made them all laugh again and Hally felt relief wash over her.

“Perhaps I will have a chat about that to him then.”

She told her friends. This brought big smiles to their faces and so they continued drinking their coffees and chatting. The topic of conversation had now changed to what Clia referred to as a ‘boy recipe’. For the next half hour, with fresh coffees, they put together Corrinne and Clia’s ‘ingredients’ for their perfect boyfriend. Some of it was completely wild, like owning a yacht and a Ferrari, and some of it quite realistic, like being faithful and caring.

“Anyway, Hally, back to your Gran. We haven’t been round in a while only because we didn’t want to get in the way. You know, too many people at one time. But, we miss seeing her, so if it’s ok could we come with you next time?”

Clia asked. Hally relaxed in the leather chair and smiled.

“Of course you can. Actually, Wes is coming round with me tomorrow and I know he’s very nervous, so maybe if we all went together he would feel a bit better.”

The girls agreed to this.

“But only if he finds us our own hunks.”

Corrinne said jokingly.

“So now Gran gift. What shall we get her?”

Clia stated matter of factly as they finished their drinks and got up to leave.

The rest of the afternoon was spent choosing the perfect gift for Gran. After much deliberation they all settled on a bumper colouring book and crayons.

“She’s going to love this.”

Hally stated.

“Yeah, and you know she will have Wes right next to her joining in.”

Clia said.

That evening Hally sat with Corrinne and Clia all snuggled in pyjamas and fluffy dressing gowns watching a very girlie DVD. Mum and dad were out for a meal with friends and Wes was working the evening shift at the Hotspot. He had agreed with his boss to do the overtime telling Hally he wanted the extra money for Christmas. Hally didn’t mind although she did miss him, but thought he probably wouldn’t really enjoy the film they were engrossed in. Nathan was tucked up in bed and they hadn’t heard a peep out of him. They had feasted on popcorn, tortilla chips and dip and were starting on a box of chocolates when Nathan appeared in the doorway. He stood rubbing his eyes. Hally jumped up and took her little brother by the hand.