Fiery Nights (10 page)

“Whoa, Tristan,” I said. “You’re flipping out. Have you
slept at all? Your eyes are bloodshot as hell.”

He shook his head. “How can I sleep? We got so close. And
then—nothing.”

“Don’t give up yet. I don’t mind experimenting with new things.”
I made a play of slowly crawling across the floor to him, kneeling in front of
him to make my double meaning clear.

“No, Maya. Enough!” he said, standing up and ignoring my
double entendre. “I can’t take any more false hope. No more.”

Sitting up, I realized this was not going to go anyplace
good. “What do you mean no more? No more what
?
”

He avoided looking me in the eye. “I’m not good for you. I
don’t know what you ever saw in me. You need someone you can go out with and
socialize in public. Someone you can dance with and not have to worry about
whether he’s seeing things that torment him. You’re a very outgoing person.
Look at me. I hide in a lab all day, staying away from people. You deserve
better. You deserve your true match. We shouldn’t be together anymore.”

I opened my mouth and then closed it, reopened it and closed
it again. Where was this coming from? Finally, I found some words and they
spewed out in a jumble of confused thoughts that I didn’t even have time to
censor before they spilled freely from my lips.

“How could you say that? I’m a grown woman who can make an
adult decision on who she does or does not want to be with. Who do you think
you are, making that decision for me? Don’t try to control me!”

“I’m not trying to control you. I’m trying to protect you.”

“We all have our things, you know. Stop with the ‘poor me’
shit. I’ve had to live with my freakishness my whole life too, and you don’t
see me hiding away from reality.”

“Don’tcompare your
gift
with my
curse
!”

“Call it whatever the hell you want. It’s just words. If you
didn’t want to be with me, you shouldn’t have strung me along all this time!”

“I didn’t string you along. I cared about you. I still do.”

“You cared about using me to fix your problem. Now that you
think it can’t be done, you’re casting me aside. Ugh! I believed in you. No, I
believed in us. And not just in our stupid cursed abilities. I believed in
us
.”

“Maya, you’re not listening to me. I’m doing this because I
care about you and I want you to be happy. I can’t make you happy. I’m giving
you your freedom. Releasing you from any obligation you feel to help me.”

“Piss off, Tristan!”

I grabbed my bag and stormed upstairs, back through the
club. Too angry to be around anyone, I planned on getting out of there as
quickly as possible.

As I pushed my way through the crowd, my limbs tense and
lips quivering from anger, I heard
My Time Has Come
by the Twilight
Singerscome on. I loved this song. The energy from the crowd around me
made me rethink my plan to be alone. Maybe I should dance off some steam before
I pouted home. What else would I do with all this angry, excess energy anyway?

I threw myself in with the crowd, trying to lose myself
among them. Bits of the fight with Tristan replayed over in my mind and I tried
to force it away.

One song blended into another one and still I stayed.
How
dare he? I can’t believe he fucking just broke up with me. How did I not even
see that coming? Fuckin’ blindsided!

I took a quick break at the bar to down a couple of shots.
Anything to take the edge off the pain right now.

When I went back out on the dance floor, a tall, built,
blond guy dressed all in black danced with me. He was exceptionally
good-looking—like Eric from
True Blood
—a Nordic god. He wasn’t exactly
my type, but he was easy on the eyes. When I caught his ice-blue eyes, I
thought of Tristan’s dark soulful ones.

Nevertheless, I danced with him, trying to forget Tristan.
When the Nordic god pulled me close, I didn’t pull away as I normally would
have. Strong arms around me without any emotional entanglement were quite
welcome at the moment.

Maybe I should sleep with him to help me forget about this
whole shitty night? Forget about Tristan? He was hot, after all. It wouldn’t be
that much of a sacrifice.

Tristan

That didn’t go as planned. Didn’t Maya realize I did it for
her sake, not mine?

I tried to focus on a book of spells, but found it hard to
concentrate. Maybe if I put on music it would help. The song I chose made me
brood even more.
Something I Could Never Have
.Someone I can
never have.

Why don’t I listen to upbeat pop songs? Instead I find the
ones that exacerbate my desolation.

Listening to the song was torture. She made it all go away.
The darkness. The shadows.

Without her, all is bleak.

I pushed my chair back so quickly, the chair screeched
across the floor.

Time to check on the club. Maybe all the darkness upstairs
would distract me from her.

Walking up the stairs, I tried to push away the question
that nagged incessantly at the back of my mind:

What have I done?

As I walked around the perimeter, nothing seemed amiss. The
usual shadows. And then—the light.
Her
light.

Dammit—she was here! What was she still doing here? Did she
stay here to torment me?

I clenched my hands. Who the hell was she dancing with?

As I watched this man paw Maya, pulling her close, my blood
boiled.

How could she do this?

I pushed my way through the crowd to them.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Her mouth dropped halfway before she recovered. “It should
be obvious. I’m dancing.”

“Why are you dancing
here
and
now
?”

“Because I
want to
.”

“This is not cool, Maya, and you know it.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Tristan ‘so goddamn superior he knows what’s
best for me’ Stone. I came here long before I met you. Vamps was where I came
to unwind. Do you have to ruin
everything
for me?”

“Stop being overdramatic, Maya.”

Her dance partner extricated himself from his
I’m so good
looking, watch me move
dance. “Hey buddy, is there a problem?”

“Stay out of it,” I warned. “It’s not your concern.”

“No, I won’t. We were having a good time until you came
along.” He got up into my face. “Who do you think you are anyway?”

“The owner of this club,” I said, glaring at him. “And you
are dancing with my girl.”

“Sorry, dude,” he said, backing off and raising his hands in
a conciliatory gesture. He nodded at Maya, and then walked toward the bar.

“I’m not your girl, Tristan!” Maya said. “You made that
clear tonight when you fuckin’ dumped me!”

“So what are you going to do? Sleep with someone else?”

“Maybe. What do you care what I do? It’s no longer your
concern.”

“Of course it is, Maya. Will you grow up and stop making a
goddamn scene!”

“What are you going to do?” she said, her voice getting
louder so people around us started to look. “Have one of the bouncers throw me
out?” She looked around the perimeter of the dance floor.

I leaned in close to her ear and seethed, “I’ll throw you
out on your sweet little ass myself if you continue to act like this.” When I
pulled back, our faces were inches apart. Her blue eyes burned with an intense
fire and her breathing was ragged.

“Like what?”

“Like an immature—brat!”

“Fine. Maybe I am. But at least I’ve been straight with you
all along, not playing some game.”

“What game? I’ve always cared for you. Only lately I started
to have doubts about us.”I watched her lips quivering as she tried to get hold
of her emotions. I could just pull her close now and kiss her. End this madness
once and for all. Try to forget this horrid night ever happened.

But she turned on her heel to storm off. I grabbed her hand
at the last moment before she slipped away.

“I did it for you, Maya. Maybe one day you’ll see that.”

She squirmed out of my grasp. “Just leave me alone. You’re
nothing but a parasite. Just using people and discarding them when you no
longer need them.” She blinked away tears as if she was about to crumble and
fought to hold a brave front. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of your precious club
from now on.”

My eyes followed her as she stormed out, until the final
glow of her light disappeared out the main door.

A parasite who uses and discards people?
What was she
talking about? That wasn’t me at all. Why didn’t she get it?

And did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?

Fuck!

Too late now. What’s done was done.

Maya

I took off my heels and walked home, fuming as the
conversations from tonight replayed over and over in my mind.

Doubts? How could he doubt us? I may have doubts about a
lot of things, but I believed in us.

A car pulled up beside me.

“Hey, baby, need a lift?”

“No!” I barked, not bothering to look. Of all the times I
had to have some jerk accost me, jeez.

“It’s me. From Vamps
.
We danced earlier tonight.”

I looked up to see the blond guy from earlier.

“Oh, hey.”

“What’s wrong? You and your boyfriend have a fight?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” I clarified. “And yes.”

“Your feet must be killing you. Let me give you a lift. I
promise I won’t try anything.”

Normally, I’d tell him thanks but no thanks. But there was
nothing normal about tonight. I thought I’d be spending the night doing kinky
things wrapped in the arms of my lover, not stumbling home barefoot and
brokenhearted after being dumped without warning.

“Yeah, sure.”

I climbed into his car, not knowing or caring what type it
was. He pulled off and I gave him directions to my apartment.

“I’m Jed, by the way.”

“Maya.”

“Hey Maya, want to talk about what happened with that guy?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Okay. If you don’t mind me saying, that guy seems like a
jerk. You deserve to be treated better.”

Tristan
had
treated me well. Until tonight.

It was my fault. I should have known it couldn’t last. But I
was too caught up in the affair that it was hard to look at it objectively.

Well, I’ll learn from it. I’ll get over it one day and move
on.

But why wait?

I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I didn’t want to think
about him. The hurt could wait until tomorrow.

When we reached my apartment, I said, “Do you want to come
in for a drink?”

After a couple of glasses of wine and even a few laughs, Jed
and I went into my bedroom. We fumbled onto my bed, tearing off our clothes.

This is what I needed to forget about Tristan—sex without
emotion. Just straight-out, no-nonsense sex with a stranger. I couldn’t even
remember the last time that happened.

After very little foreplay that involved groping my breasts,
Jed said, “I’m not that hard. Can you give me head?”

Floored by such a flat-out request from a stranger, I said,
“Umm—I don’t do that to guys I don’t know.”

“But you’ll have sex with them?”

I smirked. “This is an exception.” I reached for his cock
and started stroking it. “How about I do this?”

“Yeah, that’s good,” he said. When he thought he was ready,
he put a condom on and tried to enter me.

“Babe, this is kind of tough. You’re not that wet.”

Grrr. I never had this problem with Tristan. Suppressing a
comeback about foreplay, I grabbed some lube from my nightstand to help things
along.

When he was inside me, he pumped away. The same rhythm, not
twists, no turns. I looked up at him. He was good-looking, but that was about
it. Just a pretty picture I felt no connection to.

He looks like Eric in
True Blood
. Think of Eric.

I closed my eyes and tried to conjure a fantasy, but
instead, I saw Tristan’s eyes staring back at me. I remembered Tristan’s
skillful hands on my cheek, my breasts. The way he lit me on fire just touching
them, something I’d never experienced before with another man.

Tristan and his willingness to experiment with different
things from different angles. Tristan who looked at me as if I was a goddess
when I was on top of him. Tristan who made sure I felt good—no, incredible.

Fuck! This wasn’t working. Bad plan.

I should just get on top and give myself an orgasm to move
this thing along. Or maybe just give on him entirely and take care of myself
later.

“Oh—oh—oh!” He pumped into me and the decision was made for
me. Too late.

Well, that was a waste. And now I was stuck with him here in
my apartment. Hope he didn’t want to stay the night.

God no!

Crap, now how do I get him out of here?

“That was great,” I lied. “But I have to work early.”

“No problem, babe.” I didn’t look at him as he got dressed.
“Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you.”

Yeah, right. As if he would. And as if I wanted him to.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. “Like I said, I
just broke up with someone.”

He looked a little confused. But then he said, “Yeah, I get
it. Okay. See you around.”

After Jed left, I picked up a discarded shoe and threw it
across the living room. It knocked over a cactus I loved and I instantly felt
remorse. Seeing the dirt cascade over my rug reminded me when I knocked a plant
over the first night I went to Tristan’s. I was a clumsy fool. Clumsy in
everything, especially relationships.

I salvaged the cactus, feeling guilty about my outburst. The
cactus paid me back by pricking me several times. It was okay, I deserved it.

When Tristan called the next morning, I ignored it, still
too angry at him to want to hear his voice—and now feeling guilty about banging
some guy the night before. In retrospect, that wasn’t a very good decision.