Feels Like Home (6 page)

Nate made a couple of clucking sounds. ‘Chicken.'

‘What?'

‘You. You're high-tailing it out of here because you're scared Jo might show up.'

Ryan grimaced. ‘I'm not scared, alright? It's just that I saw her this morning at Glasson's and it didn't go so well.'

Nate raised his eyebrows. ‘Really? Look, I'm sure they won't be back for ages yet. Steph had an appointment with the florist, then they were doing something to do with shoes. I also heard coffee and cake mentioned. I can't see them being back before five. Come on in and have something to eat. Steph will have my head if she finds out you did all that work shifting bales and I didn't even feed you.'

Ryan shrugged. ‘Yeah, alright, but if she turns up I'm heading for the hills.'

Nate laughed. ‘I'd like to see that.'

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes while Nate busied himself filling the kettle and grabbing the ingredients for a sandwich out of the fridge. Ryan sat at the kitchen table, flicking through the local paper while he waited.

It was a comfortable silence. Nate had been there for Ryan during the worst times of his life: first as a kid, when his dad died, and more recently when Carly was killed. But talking about feelings had never been their way. Nate had shown his support simply by being there.

He'd kicked a footy with Ryan in the hospital grounds while they waited for Ryan's mum to emerge with news of his dad. And he'd gone to Melbourne to sit on a barstool and watch as Ryan wiped himself out after Carly's death. He'd made sure Ryan got home without incident and they'd never talked about that night since.

More recently he'd run alongside Ryan as he pounded the dirt roads around Linden Gully in search of freedom from the grief and guilt that he felt over Carly's death. Nate was always there. He had Ryan's back on the footy field back in the day and he had it now. Neither of them needed any words to know that.

Nate dumped a loaf of bread on the table, and spread out fresh butter, cheese and some leftover sliced lamb from the fridge. ‘Help yourself,' he said. He set a couple of plates down on the table before heading to the stove to remove the boiling kettle. Nate kept his back to Ryan as he said, ‘You know, I think we should talk about this Jo situation.'

Ryan didn't answer immediately. He waited for Nate to bring the coffee and sit opposite him. ‘Oh yeah?'

‘Mate, I know this is uncomfortable for you, and believe me, it's not a picnic for me either, but I just need to know…is there going to be a problem?'

‘How do you mean?'

‘Is there going to be a problem with you and Jo being in the same room? I mean, you mentioned you saw her and it didn't go so well. I don't want to be a pain in the butt about this, but I'm wondering how you two are going to manage over the next few weeks. It's not just the day of the wedding. There's the hens and bucks do and god only knows what else before the big day. How are you going to go?'

Ryan exhaled audibly. ‘To be honest, mate. I don't know. Don't worry, I won't do anything that will spoil the day for you and Steph, but I honestly didn't realise how hard it would be to see her again.'

‘Why's that? You're not still…' Nate trailed off, unable to finish the question that Ryan did not want to contemplate.

‘No, of course not. Too much water under the bridge for anything like that. It's just, you know, awkward.'

Nate leaned back in his chair. ‘I'm sorry about all this. The last thing we want to do is cause you more grief. Look, if you want to step down from the job as best man I'll understand. I'm sure Tom would be happy to step in on your behalf.'

‘No way!' Ryan shook his head vigorously. He wanted to say all the things he felt. He wanted to let Nate know that he appreciated all the times he'd been there for him and now it was his turn to reciprocate. Instead he said, ‘You're not getting rid of me that easily. Jo and I will have to work out a way to be in the same room without tearing each other's heads off.'

‘Are you sure?'

‘Yeah I'm sure. Don't worry, I'll fix it. Promise.'

‘You girls go ahead. I just want to catch up with Sarah over at the newsagents while we're in town. I'll meet you at the cafe in five minutes.' Jenny turned on her heel and started walking before Steph had time to protest.

‘There goes half an hour at least,' Steph said.

Jo smiled. ‘It doesn't matter. I'm dying for a coffee. Plus I can't wait to have one of Green's vanilla slices. It's one of the things I crave when I'm in New York.'

‘Don't they have vanilla slices over there?' Steph had a look of mock horror on her face.

Jo shrugged. ‘Not that I've noticed, but even if they do, no ordinary vanilla slice can live up to the world-famous Green's.'

When Steph pushed open the door to their favourite coffee shop, Jo was taken aback. ‘It's all changed,' she said. The fluorescent green vinyl padded booths were gone, and in their place stood rustic timber tables surrounded by modern white chairs. Large industrial light fittings dangled from the ceiling and a stainless-steel counter had replaced the old Laminex one. Jo felt somehow cheated. ‘I liked it better the old way,' she said.

‘Times change, Jo. Things move forward, even out here in the sticks. But don't worry, the cakes are as good as ever. I promise you won't be disappointed.'

Steph was right about that. The vanilla slice was heavenly and, thanks to the installation of an up-to-date coffee machine, her latte was impeccable too.

‘Okay, I've fed you and given you caffeine, now you need to spill,' Steph said as Jo licked the last traces of icing from her fingers.

‘What do you mean?'

‘What's up? You haven't been yourself all day. And you haven't explained that weird phone conversation we had this morning. I'm not buying the jetlag excuse, so you can forget about trying that one, and I'm not taking “nothing” as an answer either.'

Jo wrinkled her nose. ‘Sorry, I've been a little distracted all day. I ran into Ryan at Glasson's this morning. I tried to talk to him, to smooth things over between us and…'

Steph's eyes widened. ‘And?'

‘We ended up arguing right there in the canned vegetable aisle. I'm surprised you haven't heard already. I thought there would have been a Linden Gully Bulletin special edition by now.'

Steph grinned. ‘I take it you had an audience.'

‘Kelly Bristow, sorry
Prescott,
heard the whole thing. I was trying to escape her clutches when you called this morning. I'm not really sure if there were any other eavesdroppers.'

‘Just Kelly is enough. You're right. She will have put out a bulletin by now.'

‘The weirdest thing about my conversation with her was that she seemed to be warning me off Ryan. She reckons he's dating Laura Baxter. I'm not sure why she'd be so worried after the argument she overhead. Ryan made it quite clear he wants nothing to do with me.'

Steph shrugged. ‘The popular wisdom around here is that he's never gotten over you.'

Jo laughed and shook her head. ‘What on earth would give people that idea?'

‘I don't know, Jo. He did take your break-up pretty badly. Everyone seemed to think the whole Carly affair was just a rebound thing.'

Jo felt the heat rise in her cheeks. ‘Not you too?'

Steph raised her eyebrows. ‘What do you mean?'

‘This morning Ryan accused me of ending our relationship. Is the whole town under the assumption that I left him? Because that is not what happened and you know that.' She crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat.

‘Calm down. I'm not taking sides. I know what happened wasn't your fault. But you know what it's like in the Gully. Everyone has their opinion and no one ever lets the truth get in the way of a good story. All I'm saying is it was a long time ago now. Does it really matter who did what?'

Jo shrugged. Apparently it was too much to expect unconditional sympathy from her best friend.

‘It's none of anyone's business what happened between you. But you know how it is here, everyone gossips. It's one of the drawbacks of living in such a small place. In the absence of the truth people just make stuff up. You weren't here and Ryan has never spoken about what happened, so people drew their own conclusions.'

‘And it never occurred to anyone in the Gully that their golden boy could have done the wrong thing, so everyone assumed I was the one to blame?' Ryan had always been adored by everyone in the Gully. His good looks, easy-going nature and natural sporting ability had made him popular as a child. When his father, a pillar of the local community, died so unexpectedly the town collectively embraced Ryan and his brothers. While all three boys were given love and sympathy, it was acknowledged that Ryan, the youngest son and a constant source of comfort to his mother, was the most like his dad. In the town's eyes he could do no wrong.

‘I don't know, Jo. I guess people have their theories.'

‘So the minor detail that another woman was pregnant with his child didn't tip anyone off to the fact that he was the one that ended it?'

Steph took a sip of her coffee and hesitated before answering. ‘Honey, you rebuffed his offer of marriage, and then you left. Can't you see how that might look to people? I know you didn't end the relationship. I know that wasn't your intention and it sucks that Ryan didn't have enough faith in your relationship to wait, but he was only twenty-one. He made a mistake. A huge mistake, and one he's had to pay for over and over again.' Steph paused and looked at Jo. ‘I don't think it's healthy for you to dwell on what happened. It's time to let the past go. You're engaged to another man. I know Ryan hurt you. But his heart got broken too.'

Jo averted her eyes. It pained her to admit Steph had a point.

‘As for the town, let everyone think what they want. How can it hurt? Ryan lives here and you'll be gone in a few weeks. There's no point stirring up the past just to score points.'

Jo sighed. What sort of hard-hearted cow had she become these past few years? Maybe she'd somehow morphed into one of the narcissistic characters she was so fond of creating in her novels. Steph was right, of course. Ryan hadn't exactly had an easy time of it in recent years. And no matter what the truth was, nobody in the Gully was interested in having their local hero maligned. Whatever she said, people would always believe what they wanted. Hell, these days even Ryan believed that he was the wronged party. She needed to let the whole thing go.

She raised her palms in a sign of defeat. ‘Yeah, I guess you're right, but Ryan seems so angry. It's like he can't bear to be in the same room with me. I'm worried for your sake, Steph. I don't want your wedding to be spoiled by tension in the bridal party. This morning I was trying to set up some sort of truce between us for everyone else's sake, but Ryan wouldn't have a bar of it.'

Steph smiled. ‘Don't worry about the wedding. Nate and I aren't going to let a bit of awkwardness between the two of you ruin our day. I know it's hard for you, and Ryan too, but you are both so important to us that we can't imagine our wedding day without you.'

‘And I wouldn't miss it for the world,' Jo said. ‘I guess Ryan and I will just have to stay out of each other's way as much as we possibly can.'

Ryan hadn't given his conversation with Nate much thought since he'd left the farm that afternoon. He'd arrived back at the clinic to find Meg Weston waiting for him, with a very unhappy dog. ‘Do you think you could take a look at Patch, Ryan? He's been scratching his ear and howling all day.'

A quick examination revealed a grass seed lodged in the dog's ear, which required removal under sedation. Fortunately for Patch it was a quick procedure and now the dog was awake and thumping his tail as Ryan did his post-op check. He rubbed the border collie behind the ears. ‘Looking good, mate,' he said to the dog, and he smiled up at his trainee vet nurse, Taylah. ‘I'm really happy with how he's pulled up. No temperature, no signs of infection and he's looking more like the happy fellow we normally see.'

Taylah was doing a school-based apprenticeship in the practice one day a week, but she loved the job so much that she popped in most days after school. Ryan loved her dedication, and hoped that one day she might have the confidence to go to uni and become a vet. She was certainly smart enough, but he knew her family had been doing it tough these past couple of years, and university wasn't a luxury they could afford right now. In the meantime he was trying to teach her as much as he could. Maybe if she could get a full-time job as a vet nurse she'd earn enough to bear the costs of a university education in a few years' time.

‘Should I call his mum?' Taylah asked. ‘Let her know he's doing better?'

He laughed. She insisted on calling all the owners ‘mum' or ‘dad'. ‘Sure. That'd be great. Tell Mrs Weston she can come by in the morning to collect him. Can I leave you with it? I've got to race to meet Ella's bus.'

Taylah nodded and shooed him out the door.

Once he was on the road his thoughts drifted back to Nate's words and his promise to his friend that he would fix things with Jo.

Obviously Nate was worried, and Steph was too. It wasn't like his mate to have deep and meaningful conversations about anything. In the past it had never been necessary. All problems could be solved with a kick of the footy, a run or, if things were really crook, a beer. The fact that Nate had brought up the subject of Jo meant that it was troubling him. And Ryan couldn't have that.

Their whole lives Nate had propped him up. If sorting things out with Jo would make Nate and Steph's wedding day a better one, then he would suck it up and make it happen. Just how he was going to do that he wasn't sure.