Feels Like Home (37 page)

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Authors: Lisa Ireland

BOOK: Feels Like Home
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‘Jo, we've been over this.'

‘No. You've had your say. Now I'm having mine.'

Obviously she wouldn't be happy until she'd said her piece. It was probably better to let her get it off her chest without interruption. ‘Go on then, you have my attention.'

‘I get that I hurt you when I left last time. I understand that I broke your heart. And you know what? You were right. I was hedging my bets. I wasn't ready then to make a commitment. When you got Carly pregnant — or thought that you did — I let myself off the hook. It was easier to blame you for being disloyal than to face up to the fact that I didn't know what I wanted.' She paused as a clap of thunder sounded above them.

‘Looks like a storm's coming. We really should go inside.'

‘No. I can't. I can't go back in that house unless it's what we both want. The next time I cross that threshold I want it to be with you. For us to be together.'

God, she was making this so damn hard. ‘Jo, please…'

‘Let me finish.'

He nodded for her to continue. Best get this over with before the rain started. It was bad enough that his throat had gone completely dry and his head had begun to pound. He didn't need to get soaking wet as well.

‘When I left here it wasn't about you, it was about me. I never felt comfortable here, or anywhere for that matter. I needed to know who I was, get comfortable in my own skin. Back then I never let anyone in. I was too afraid of rejection to really put myself out there. I blamed the town for pigeonholing me, for believing I was a younger version of my mother, but I see now that it was my own fault. Partly, at least. I never gave anyone any reason to believe anything different about me.'

‘But we were close. You let me in.'

She nodded. ‘Yes. You were different. But we were just kids really.' She hung her head. ‘I didn't know if you would be enough. I didn't want us to turn into my mum and dad. I didn't want to resent you,' she said. ‘But now I realise how wrong I was. After all these years I've finally figured out where I belong. Where I make sense.' She looked at him. ‘It's here, Ryan, with you and Ella.'

‘Jo, I want to believe that more than anything on earth. I know you think that's what you want, but how do I know you'll feel the same way this time next year, or next week for that matter?'

‘Because now I know who I am, what I want. I love you, Ryan. I understand what loving you means and I don't just accept it, I embrace it. I embrace you, I embrace Ella and all that comes with being in your lives. I live for school drop-offs and pick-ups, for helping out at the clinic and on the farm. I look forward to spending time with your mother, your brothers and their families. I can't wait to head out to the footy on Saturday arvos and the pub on Saturday nights. I love you and I love Linden Gully. Please let me come home.'

A flash of lightning lit the darkening sky as Ryan considered her heartfelt speech. He wanted to believe her, to take her in his arms and tell her they never had to be apart again. But in the end these were just words. Eloquent words, he'd give her that, but she was a writer and she was used to manipulating language to suit her purpose. Was she really ready to give up her New York life for plain old Linden Gully? How long before she changed her mind?

‘I know what you're thinking. Where's the proof? Well, don't worry. I've come prepared.' She shoved the fistful of papers into his hand. ‘Read these.'

‘What are they?'

‘Read them and see.'

He glanced down at the top sheet. It appeared to be a printout of an email exchange between Jo and a woman called Amanda Briggs.

A quick scan of the content revealed that Amanda Briggs was a lawyer and Jo was apparently consulting with her on the topic of adoption. What the…? He flipped to the next page, which contained general information about adoption of children by stepparents. The next few pages were filled with legal mumbo jumbo, precedents about adoption, custody and the like.

‘I don't understand.'

‘Manda is a friend of mine from boarding school. She's a family law specialist.'

‘And?'

‘I called her on Thursday morning, when I was waiting for you to come back from the hospital. We had a brief discussion about your situation. Don't worry, I was discreet. I didn't give her personal information about you or Ella, not even your first names. In any case, anything I said to her will be kept in the strictest confidence. I asked her a number of hypothetical questions, relating to adoption of a child by a stepparent.'

The first fat raindrops began to plop onto the pages he held. ‘You would consider that?'

‘Of course I would. Obviously only if it was something Ella wanted and…'

‘And?'

‘Well, you and I would have to be married first.'

As the heavens opened and rain began to bucket down Jo stood perfectly still and looked into his eyes. It was then he realised she wasn't going anywhere.

Jo's pulse thudded in her ears. She could hear it over the roaring wind and intermittent rolls of thunder. He wasn't saying anything. This was it. She had nothing else. Nothing left to give. If he walked away now it would really be the end. Forever.

Slowly, deliberately, he moved towards her, never taking his eyes off hers. They stood for a moment face to face, his hand slowly caressing her cheek as the rain washed the tears from their faces. Suddenly, before she had the chance to protest, he scooped her up into his arms.

‘What are you doing?' she laughed.

His answer brought fresh tears to her eyes.

‘Carrying you over the threshold of your new home.'

CHAPTER

38

The overnight rain was cause for great concern in the wedding household, particularly from the mother of the bride, who fretted and fussed and eventually resorted to praying for an end to the rain. It seemed no amount of calming or cajoling from Jo, or indeed the bride herself, could talk Jenny down.

‘Mum, we have a marquee the size of a circus tent. We'll have the ceremony in there if need be.'

‘Yes, but it's not designed to withstand a hurricane.'

‘The weather report says clearing showers,' Jo ventured, giving Steph a cheeky wink. ‘No hurricanes are mentioned.'

Jenny had thrown her hands in the air, tutting and clucking, before heading into the office to check the online forecast one more time.

In the end the worry was unfounded — either that or the prayers were successful — because as the happy couple exchanged vows on a purpose-built deck beneath Steph's favourite gumtree the sun poked its head through the clouds.

Just as the celebrant said those magic words, ‘You may kiss the bride,' Ella tugged on Jo's hand. ‘Jo. Look there's a rainbow.'

Jo's gaze left the kissing couple for a moment to take in the sky. Ella was right. A faint rainbow stretched out behind them. It was a perfect backdrop to a perfect day.

She joined in the applause for the kiss and stole a glance at Ryan. He was looking mighty fine in his classic black dinner suit. Jo made a mental note to encourage a similar type of attire at their own wedding, which, according to Ryan, would be taking place as soon as legally possible.

She didn't want to wait either. Now that she'd decided where she wanted to live the rest of her life, she wanted to get on with it as soon as possible. But it wasn't only that. The sooner they were married the sooner she could apply to adopt Ella. Amanda had already told her that she and Ryan would need to be married for at least two years before her application was likely to be successful.

They didn't need a big fancy wedding. In fact she'd be happy with a simple registry-office affair, but once word got out around here she doubted that would be possible. And denying Ella the chance to repeat her starring role as flower girl seemed kind of mean. So they'd do something simple at home and, knowing this town, they'd have plenty of help.

The sun slipped behind the clouds again and a few sprinkles of rain tickled her face.

‘Everyone into the marquee,' Macca called, apparently revelling in his first official task as master of ceremonies for the day. Ryan appeared at her side. He scooped Ella up and sat her on his hip and took Jo by the hand. ‘Shall we, ladies?'

Ella giggled and nodded. ‘Let's go.'

Once they were seated at the bridal table and all the guests had taken their places, Macca stepped up to the microphone. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wedding reception of Mr and Mrs Andrews. Steph and Nate, please stand up and take a bow.'

The bride and groom obliged as the guests showed their appreciation for the newlyweds with a round of thunderous applause.

Macca gestured for the crowd to quieten down before he continued. ‘Tonight we're going to run with a slightly altered program to your usual wedding. At the bride's request we are going to get all the formalities out of the way right away so we can, in Steph's words, “Get on with the party”. So without further ado, I'm going to call on the happy couple to take their places on the dance floor for their first dance together as a married couple. Ladies and gentlemen, please give them a round of applause.'

The guests all stood and applauded as Steph and Nate twirled awkwardly around the dance floor to Ben Lee's ‘Gamble Everything For Love'.

Ryan caught Jo's eye and smiled. ‘Great song,' he said.

‘Maybe it's an omen,' she replied.

‘Jo, when do we get to dance?' Ella asked.

‘In a minute, honey. Macca, the man with the microphone, is going to ask the bride and groom's parents onto the floor in a minute. After that he'll call on Daddy and me. You listen to him and when he calls your name you can come onto the floor and Daddy will dance with you.'

‘Who will you dance with then?'

‘I'll be okay. I'll have a little rest.'

As she spoke Macca called for the parents to join Nate and Steph. Jo was thrilled to see Jenny looking so relaxed and happy as she and Mick moved expertly around the floor.

‘Ladies and gentlemen please give a warm welcome to our maid of honour, Johanna Morgan, partnered by the best man, Ryan Galloway.'

Ryan took her by the hand and led her down to the wooden dance floor he and Nate had constructed weeks before. He pulled her in close and she noticed he was wearing some sort of cologne. ‘You smell gorgeous,' she said.

He grinned. ‘Thought I'd better make an effort. Now I've got you I don't want you losing interest.'

‘No chance of that.'

‘Happy?' he whispered.

‘Unbelievably.'

Macca's voice boomed over the song, ‘Now we have our junior bridesmaid, Madison Keating, partnered by her dad, John, and our gorgeous little flower girl, Ella, who'll join her dad, Ryan, on the dance floor.'

Ella skipped to join them. Jo released Ryan's hand so he could take Ella's, but Ella shook her head and grabbed Jo's hand. ‘Don't go Jo. I don't want you to be by yourself. I don't mind sharing.'

Ryan smiled at Ella and took Jo's other hand. The three of them formed a circle and began to dance. ‘Welcome home, Joey,' Ryan said.

EPILOGUE

One year later…

‘I see you're in the
Woman's Day
again, love.'

Jo grabbed the paper-wrapped package of sausages Mrs Clemmens plonked on the counter and slipped it into her cotton shopping bag. ‘Yeah. They did a photo shoot when I was down in Melbourne for the book launch.'

‘You look lovely in the photos, Jo. I'll bet young Ella was impressed.'

‘I don't know about that, Mrs C. I think she was a bit miffed she had to stay at home and go to school while I was there. But I've promised her I'll make it up to her.'

‘What have you got in mind?' The older woman passed Jo her change and rested her ample body against the counter. Clearly she was ready for a chat.

Mrs Clemmens was what Katherine would have termed a ‘nosy parker'. Once upon a time Jo would have brushed off her questions but these days she welcomed them as part of life in Linden Gully. Over the past year Jo had slowly come to realise the enquiries about her life came from a place of genuine interest and, in Mrs C's case, pride. Jo was one of Linden Gully's own and her success was the town's success.

From the moment she and Ryan announced their relationship — with that very public kiss at Steph and Nate's wedding — the town had drawn her into its loving arms. They'd even protected her when that TV reporter came sniffing around, looking for a story.

She'd been naive, thinking the photo of her kissing Ryan would just disappear without a ripple. First there was that hack of a reporter from the local TV station and then a couple of other suspicious visitors to the town, all of them snooping around, asking questions. But they'd got nothing. No one — not even Kelly Prescott or Laura Baxter — would talk. The story died down pretty quickly in the end. She'd gotten lucky. A big scandal involving the local member of parliament had definitely helped to push her story out of the news cycle.

‘Earth to Jo.'

‘Sorry Mrs C, I was away with the fairies.' Jo lowered her voice slightly. ‘She doesn't know yet, so keep this under your hat, but when I go to America for the book tour in September, Ryan and Ella are coming too.'

Mrs Clemmens raised her eyebrows and then gave her a conspiratorial wink. ‘Don't worry, love, your secret's safe with me. Wow, America, eh? I'm sure she'll be thrilled. So how long are you going for? Who'll look after Ryan's practice?'

A smile twitched at the corners of Jo's mouth. She should have known Mrs Clemmens wouldn't be satisfied until she had all the details. Not that it mattered. It wasn't as if she was in a hurry to leave the butcher's shop. It was still early and she had a leisurely day ahead. After working her butt off for the past few months she'd finally submitted her fourth novel to the publisher yesterday. She figured she deserved a day off. When this morning's grocery shopping was done she planned to drop in at Steph's for a cuppa and a catch-up. With the baby due any day now, Jenny and Nate were insisting the new mother-to-be had to stay home and rest, which was driving poor Steph nuts. Jo had promised to bring cake and gossip.

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