Feels Like Home: A Southerland Family Contemporary Romance Book 1 (14 page)

It felt so good; she felt her own trembling
start. Head back, eyes closed, defenseless under his mouth, she
felt the world shift and then realized he’d lifted her in his arms.
She reached out to brace herself as he sat her on the table between
the bakery box and the bowl of apples. Sliding the box to the side,
he caught her mouth and kissed her hard before pulling back to look
at her.

He kept his eyes on hers and reached for the
hem of her t-shirt, watching her face as he lifted her shirt
revealing her blue lace bra. She held her breath and raised her
arms so he could peel off the shirt. His eyes darkened from green
to brown and his lips parted on a sigh. The expression on his face
made the breath catch in her throat.

“
My God, you are
beautiful.”

He traced a finger down her throat to the
tops of her breasts and she clutched the edge of the table. Her
breasts tightened under his teasing touch, nipples pebbling in
anticipation. He kissed his way down her neck to her shoulder,
sliding her bra strap down her arm and licking the mark it made on
her skin.

She grabbed him and felt the solid strength
of his bare arms under her hands. His head moved in front of her as
he repeated the process with her other shoulder and she breathed in
the scent of him, some kind of spicy citrus and warm man.

He kissed a path down the center of her chest
until his warm breath tickled the tops of her breasts. He licked
under the edge of the lace and her nipples tightened to impossible
points, aching for the warmth of his mouth. Reaching for him, she
tried to guide his head with her hands and let out a frustrated
noise when the bra straps caught her arms.

“
Got it,” he murmured
against her skin.

He reached behind her and one by one she felt
the hooks on her bra give way under his fingers. He stepped back
and she shrugged loose from the blue lace, baring her breasts to
him.

“
Sweet Jesus.” He whispered
the words like a prayer.

Her chest flushed with heat and need. She
clung to the edge of the table and arched her back, offering
herself to him. One hand cradled her back while the other cupped
her breast and then his mouth was on her and she lost her mind. He
molded her breast with his hand while his hot mouth suckled her,
drawing the tight peak deep into his mouth.

“
So good,” she groaned.
“That feels so good.”

She clutched at his arms, at his shoulders
frantic for his mouth on her tender skin. Sliding her fingers into
his hair, she held him to her and felt his hungry groan rumble
through her nipple.

Ignoring the shifting of the old table, she
scooted closer to the edge, wrapped her legs around him and pulled
him tighter into the v of her body. It had been so long since she’d
been intimate with anyone and she wanted him so much. She felt her
own wetness seeping through the yoga pants as she rocked into the
long, thick length of him. With his mouth suckling her and his hard
erection pressing against her hot, wet core, she could almost go
off.

He released her nipple and she fought a
disappointed whimper. Leaning back, he put enough space between
them to slip his hand into her pants and inside her. Her
disappointment turned into heat, flaring from her core and
spreading through the rest of her body. She clenched around him,
crying out as he curled two fingers inside her and stroked. He
pressed small circles on her clit with his thumb while the strong
slender fingers of his doctor’s hand found the spot just inside her
opening and set up a rhythm which threatened to have her thrashing
off the table.

She clutched at him, desperate, and tried to
reach the button on his jeans. She wanted him inside her, wanted to
feel him lose control with her, but he dodged, keeping just out of
her reach.

“
Please, please,” she
pleaded as his hand drove her relentlessly toward her
climax.

“
Let go, baby.” He bit her
bottom lip, licking and teasing her with his tongue. When the
orgasm crashed over her, he caught her cries with his mouth,
kissing her and holding her tight while waves of pleasure rolled
through her and she came apart in his arms.

When she was able to open her eyes he was
staring at her, his eyes dark and glassy with desire. She felt him
draw a deep shuddering breath and saw something which looked like
uncertainty pass through his eyes.

“
Will you let me
in?”

“
Of course.” She licked her
lips still swollen from his kisses and reached for the button on
his jeans.

He stepped back and she felt cool air replace
the heat from his body. His hand cupped her face, tipping it up to
look at him.

“
Not just inside your
body,” he said, his breath ragged. “Will you let me love you? Will
you love me?”

What the hell kind of question was that? What
did he mean? Her lust addled brain stuttered. He could not be
asking for some kind of commitment from her. This was supposed to
be just sex.

“
What do you mean? You gave
me the best orgasm I’ve had in…well ever. I’d buy you a pony if you
asked me right now.” She reached for him again and this time when
he pulled away she felt cold and vulnerable. Sitting up straighter,
she reached for her shirt.

“
Don’t cover yourself; not
yet. God, you’re so beautiful.”

“
Well then take me
upstairs.” She was so confused. Why would he want to look at her
naked breasts, give her an amazing orgasm and not want to have sex
with her? He was a doctor. Maybe it was a health thing. “I haven’t
been with anyone in over a year. I’ve been tested.” The test had
been part of her company’s new insurance plan, not because she had
sex with anyone in …well too long to remember. “I’m clean.” Ugh.
She hadn’t meant it to sound like that. “I mean no diseases and
I’ve got condoms.” She held the shirt in front of her and fought
the urge to hide her head along with her breasts.

He pulled her into his arms and lifted her
off the table. She thought they’d go upstairs, although the talking
had cooled some of her passion. Instead he held her tucked tight
against his chest and kissed the top of her head. She felt his
heart beat, warm and strong, through the thin cotton of his t-shirt
and breathed in the scent of laundry soap and man. She also felt
the hard length of his erection pressing into her belly. When she
reached for him, he caught her hand.

“
When we make love, it’s
going to be making love. I want more than just your amazing body,
Autumn. I want all of you.” She felt him swallow against the top of
her head. “I don’t know who broke your heart, but I’m going to earn
your trust. And we will make love.”

He wanted more. She’d
finally decided to try sex without commitment and Jude Southerland,
the one man she didn’t believe she could have a future with, wanted
a commitment.
What the hell?

She turned her puzzled face up to him,
determined to make some kind of sense out of this crazy situation,
but he silenced her with a kiss. Her arms went around his neck and
the press of their bodies kept her shirt from falling to the
ground. She parted her lips, inviting him in and met his tongue
with her own. He groaned, holding her head in his hands and
crushing her mouth with his.

He took a shaky step back and her shirt hit
the floor.

“
Jesus.”

His expression looked pained and she almost
pushed to get him to take her upstairs. But she didn’t think she
could take it if he rejected her again or worse gave her more earth
shattering pleasure without letting her reciprocate. She crossed
her arms over her breasts and watched him wrestle with himself.

“
I’m sorry. I’ve got to get
out of here before …I’ve got to get out of here. I’ll see you
tomorrow,” he stuttered as he backed up to the door. He reached
behind him for the handle but before he let himself out, he looked
at her determined. “I will earn your trust, Autumn. And we will
make love.”

He hurried out the door
closing it behind him and she stood covering her naked breasts with
her hands.
Well just
hell
. She bent to snatch up her shirt and
grabbed the mangled box of dumplings and a spoon.

He’d lost his mind. That
was the only answer that made sense. He had lost his ever loving
mind. Autumn Maddox stood in front of him with her unbelievably
gorgeous fucking breasts naked – in front of him – and he’d walked
out the door. She wanted to have sex with him and he turned her
down.
What the hell was wrong with
him?

She felt so good, so
perfect in his arms. He’d watched her blue eyes turn to sapphire
when he peeled off her t-shirt and bared her magnificent breasts.
And the way it felt to have her in his mouth.
Jesus.
He’d suckled her and she
arched, offering herself to him.

She’d pulled him to her, and he’d felt her
hot and wet for him through those stretchy black pants, and he
almost lost it, dry humping her like a horny teenager. He had to
touch her. He had to claim her somehow. When he slid his fingers
into her and she came apart in his arms, he almost followed
her.

He had never wanted a woman more and he
turned her down because suddenly he wanted more than just sex.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He slammed the car door and made the short
drive to his cold, dark apartment. He didn’t want to go home. Max
was staying with Adam. He could go pick up his dog, but not without
talking to his brother and there was no way he could explain what
happened tonight to anyone in his family.

He didn’t understand it himself. Since when
did he have a problem having sex without a commitment? He didn’t
sleep around. He was careful and respectful, but usually his
problem, if there was one, was avoiding hurting a partner who
wanted something more serious than a good time. Now he was the one
who wanted more.

He stomped up the stairs, feeling his hard-on
throb with each step. He wouldn’t be able to walk this one off. He
tossed his shirt on the floor and reached for the button on his
paint spattered jeans. It wasn’t until he slid his jeans and shorts
to the floor that he realized he’d forgotten his shoes. He driven
the car and made it the whole way into his house without noticing
his bare feet.

It was official. He’d lost his mind.

He went into the bathroom, his still hard
cock leading the way and turned on the shower. Not bothering to
wait for it to get warm, he stepped under the spray and gasped as
the cold water hit his back. He stood, letting the sting of the
water pound against him until the ancient water heater kicked
in.

When steam finally filled the shower, he
reached for the shower gel and squirted some of the spicy citrus
soap into his hand. He made quick work of washing his body. Turning
his back to the spray, he rinsed off and let the hot water run off
his scalp and down his back.

He closed his eyes and all he could see was
Autumn, sitting on her kitchen table, breasts bare, her nipples
tight and red from his mouth and her lips swollen and parted from
his kisses. Autumn offering herself to him, pulling him into the
hot v of her body. Autumn milking his fingers with her spasms as
she came in his arms. Under his hands. Under his mouth.

He squirted more soap onto his palm and
cupped his balls. He’d been hard for so long they were tight
against his body, aching for release. Tugging and soaping, he
worked the wrinkled skin and imagined her small hands on him
instead of his larger stronger ones.

His cock was so hard it throbbed with the
beat of his heart. He grabbed it in his soapy hand and worked it up
and down, stroking himself and wishing it was her hot mouth on him
instead of his hands. In moments he groaned his release, but he was
nowhere near satisfied. The only woman who could do that was alone
in her own bed across town.

Autumn sat on the porch, breathing in the
cool, clean air and waited for Jude to show up. He’d been to her
house every night that week. After a painfully awkward day at work
on Monday where Kristen looked at both of them liked they’d lost
their minds, he’d shown up on her doorstep with his enormous dog
and a bag of subs. The three of them shared the sandwiches and two
of the beers from the six pack. They rocked on the porch glider,
fingers twined and Max sleeping at their feet, and talked. He told
her stories about his brothers and sisters and she told him about
Matty and Summer and her dreams about her imaginary father.

When it got dark enough for the porch lights
to go on up and down the street, he pulled her into his arms and
kissed her like he couldn’t get enough. She staggered, a little
dazed when he released her, and watched him and Max walk off into
the rapidly fading light.

It had been like that all week. Tuesday night
was Chinese takeout and beer. They ate with wooden chopsticks,
balancing the cartons on their laps and talked about college and
medical school. Wednesday was pizza and the last of the six pack.
Every night, he and Max showed up with food, sat on the porch until
dark and then left. They never came into her house and Jude never
did more than kiss her goodnight.

It didn’t matter. She felt more heat in his
kisses than she had in her previous fumbling sexual encounters.
Just sitting next to him on the porch made her skin come alive and
when his lips found hers she wanted to give him everything. All of
her.

The funny thing was she was starting to
believe she could. He’d been courting her and it was working. He’d
sat on her front porch in full view of the whole town and held her
hand. He told her stories about his family and listened to stories
about hers and inch by inch the distance between being a
Southerland and being a Maddox started to close.