Feels Like Home: A Southerland Family Contemporary Romance Book 1 (11 page)

“
Does it count as making
you dinner if I heat up food the Dunkard lady made?” She grinned at
him and finished filling the bag with apples.

She wanted to make him dinner. On her own
without him coaxing her to spend more time with him. Hell yeah, it
counted. “Absolutely. But you don’t have to cook or heat things
up,” he said with a laugh. “I’d be happy to take you out.”

He thought he saw something flash across her
face but it was gone so fast he couldn’t be sure.

“
No, that’s okay. Unless
you don’t like chicken pot pie?”

“
You’re kidding,
right?”

It felt like a good idea at the time. She’d
had such a great day with Jude. He was fun and funny. She’d felt
better than she had in…well, she couldn’t remember when she’d felt
better.

She hadn’t wanted their day to end but she
knew if they went to one of the two restaurants in Bedford, the
Ladies Auxiliary phone chain would have them married by dessert.
And they wouldn’t be happy with that Maddox girl coming home and
leading the town’s golden boy astray.

When the lady at the orchard mentioned pot
pie, it seemed like the perfect solution. The Dunkard’s were a
group of Anabaptists who lived in the neighboring county. The pot
pie would be made from scratch and fantastic. And if they had
dinner at her house no one else in town would ever have to
know.

Now that they were standing in her kitchen
waiting for dinner to heat up, it didn’t seem like such a good
idea. All she could think about was his kiss, how amazing it felt
and what a bad idea it was for her to read too much into it.

He wanted her; she got that. She wanted him,
too. They were adults. They could enjoy each other’s company and
bodies. Just the thought made her heart feel like it would beat out
of her chest. It didn’t have to mean happily ever after. The
problem was, after listening to him talk about his family and
spending the day with him, she was afraid she wanted much more than
he’d be able to give – at least to her.

The fact they liked each other didn’t change
that she was a Maddox and he was a Southerland.

She grabbed a chipped white enamel bowl with
a red rim from the cupboard and started filling it with apples. It
was one of the few things her siblings hadn’t bothered to take.

“
That’s pretty,” he said,
coming to stand behind her.

She took a step forward before they touched,
feeling both foolish and disappointed in herself. They’d been all
over each other on the top of the mountain. Why was she running
from him in her kitchen? Why couldn’t she let herself enjoy his
attention?

“
It is, isn’t it?” She
forced herself to stay still as he took another step closer.
Without even touching, she could feel his warmth along her back and
part of her ached to lean back to meet him and let her head rest
against the solid strength of his chest.

The oven timer went off with a buzz and she
jumped. Saved by the bell. Stuffing her hands in some truly ugly,
fish shaped oven mitts, she took the pot pie out of the oven and
set it on the island counter.

“
What can I do?” He watched
with a bemused smile, like he could tell having him in the kitchen
made her nervous.

“
You can grab the
wine.”

He opened the refrigerator door and she
cringed at the empty shelves. She’d finally thrown out all the
funeral food. Even after everything Lindsey packed there had been
more green bean casserole and ham salad than anyone should have to
deal with. She just hadn’t bothered to restock it.

“
Glasses?” he asked,
snagging a bottle of chardonnay from the door.

“
What I’ve got are in the
cabinet beside the sink.” When she asked him for dinner, she hadn’t
thought about the pathetic remnants her family left behind. She
scrounged around in the cupboard and managed to find two matching
plates and a pair of forks. “Do you want to eat here or in the
dining room?”

“
Here’s great,” he said,
holding mismatched tumblers and the bottle of wine.

“
I’m sorry.” She rooted in
the drawer for the corkscrew. “I don’t have much in the way of
kitchen stuff right now.”

“
Looks about like my
kitchen.”

He took the corkscrew from her, brushing her
hand with his fingers, and she fought against the tingle which
raced over her skin.

She shrugged. “Gran left me the house. My
older siblings took most of what was in it.”

His brow creased but he didn’t say anything,
just filled the glasses half full of wine. If she was going to stay
here, she’d have to get some new dishes. She dug a big spoon into
the pot pie and delicious chicken smelling steam escaped.

“
My God, that smells
good.”

“
It does.” Autumn ladled a
big scoop of chicken, potato chunks, peas, and carrots swimming in
gravy and covered with a flaky pie crust onto Jude’s
plate.

They ate, sitting at the kitchen island. It
had been a long time since the chili and they’d walked a lot.
They’d almost cleaned their plates before either of them spoke.

He raised his glass, more suited to water
than wine, and took a swallow. “So if your brothers and sisters
cleared out the cupboards are you going to replace the stuff?” His
expression said more than dishes were riding on her answer.

“
Yeah, eventually. To be
honest, I hadn’t really thought about it until tonight. Summer and
Abby are the only ones who’ve been here since the day of the
funeral.” She smiled at him and took a sip of her own wine. “I can
get wine glasses before I heat something up for you
again.”

As soon as the words were out of her mouth,
she wished she could take them back. She hadn’t meant to imply that
they’d be doing this more often. She opened her mouth to back
pedal, but his huge grin stopped her.

He dished himself another helping of pot pie
and put a huge scoop on her plate before she could stop him. “Looks
like you’re painting.” He motioned with the spoon to the trays and
rollers stacked against the hallway wall. “You must be planning to
stay?”

“
For now.” She didn’t want
to go into the reason she had nowhere else to go. She’d have to
talk about the city and her job eventually, but it didn’t have to
be tonight. “Either way I thought it was a good idea to freshen
things up.”

“
I could help.”

“
You don’t want to do
that.” Helping in the office while Nancy was out had made things
easier for him, but she knew how hard he worked. He had a lot
better things to do than help paint her house.

“
Of course I
do.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. He’d made what
seemed like an honest offer to help. She was usually the one doing
the helping. Aside from her Gran, she couldn’t think of anyone
who’d ever offered to help her. She couldn’t ask him to paint her
house but it made her feel warm to think he’d offer.

“
Do you want dessert? I
could heat up the apple dumplings or cider. I’m very good at
heating things.”

He laughed. “That you are, darling. That you
are, but I don’t think I could eat another bite.” He pushed away
from the counter. “Dinner was great, but I’d better go.”

Confused, she hurried to her feet. Had she
done something to chase him off? She couldn’t think what, but he
was obviously in a hurry to get out of her house.

When he put on his jacket she smelled the
slightly musky scent of his aftershave and she remember exactly how
good it had felt to be wrapped in all of his warmth. She couldn’t
let herself want a relationship with Jude Southerland, but she
didn’t want him to run off.

“
Oh, okay.” She walked him
to the door, trying to hide her disappointment. “I had fun today.
Thanks.”

“
Me, too.” He gathered her
in his arms, pulling her tight against his chest and tucking her
head under his chin. It was the same way they’d stood at the top of
the mountain. He felt warm and strong and rock solid, like he
couldn’t be buffeted around by anything.

Her pulse pounded so hard she was sure he
must be able to feel it, but she didn’t care. She could stay like
that, wrapped in his arms, forever.

He must have felt some of the same because
now that they were standing at the door, he seemed reluctant to let
her go.

“
I’d better go,” he said,
but didn’t loosen his grip on her.

“
If you have to?” There.
She wasn’t exactly asking him to stay and take her upstairs so they
could have wild monkey sex; she was just leaving the door
open.

“
I have to.” This time when
he said the words he pulled away.

She raised her head to look at him, and he
caught her face in his hands, holding her like she was something
precious and he had all the time in the world. He kissed her, his
lips barely a brush against hers. When she stood on tiptoes to get
closer, he groaned and drank her in, his tongue tasting and teasing
her. He nipped her bottom lip with his teeth and caught her
answering sigh with his mouth.

“
I have to go now.” He said
the words against her lips, her throat. “While I still can. I will
be back tomorrow afternoon to help you paint.” He pressed a kiss to
her forehead and then he was gone, leaving her dazed and shaking
from the kiss and his words.

Jude stuffed his hands in his pockets so he
wouldn’t knock on Autumn’s door and tell her he’d changed his mind
about staying. He wanted to, God knows he wanted to, but if he had
any chance of not stretching her out on the worn-out couch and
ripping her clothes off with his teeth, he had to get out of there.
The fact that she seemed reluctant for him to leave made it that
much harder.

He wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted a
woman. She was funny and smart and so beautiful she stole his
breath. After spending the day with her, climbing with her, holding
her, his desire for Autumn Maddox was a deep throbbing ache, but he
was afraid if he pushed her for more, he’d lose what he needed
most.

He craved her body, but more than anything,
he wanted a chance to win her heart.

There was no way he could go home now. He’d
never be able to sleep. Starting the engine, he turned the car
towards downtown. He’d swing by the station and bug the shit out of
Adam for a while.

He pulled into a spot on the street in front
of the station, and then waited five minutes to be buzzed from the
locked vestibule into the main building.

His brother leaned back in his chair, looking
as frustrated as Jude felt. When Jude sank into the chair by the
desk Adam barely acknowledged him.

“
You know someone could get
themselves mugged waiting to get buzzed into this place.” It was an
old jibe, one he’d been using for years to poke at his
brother.

“
Probably.”

Adam didn’t rise to the bait, and Jude took a
longer look at his brother. He was more than frustrated; he was
worried about something. Regardless of the number of times they’d
pounded each other over the years, Jude would do anything for his
brothers or his sisters.

Adam had always been laid back and steady.
Being a deputy in their sleepy town hadn’t changed that. His
inherent calm was part of what made him so good at his job. More
often than not he could diffuse tense situations before they
escalated. If he looked worried, there had to be a good reason.

“
What’s wrong?” Jude leaned
forward, eyes intent on his brother.

Adam rubbed his forehead, the crease never
disappearing completely even when he looked at Jude. “It’s good
you’re here. I would have had to call you anyway so you’d know to
be on the lookout with your patients. There’s been some talk of
meth moving into the area.”

“
And here I thought all we
had to worry about was the moonshiners in Franklin County.” He said
it in an attempt to lighten things but he knew how devastating meth
could be to a community as small as theirs. It burned through
families like a plague, swallowing whole generations.

“
I wish. No, this is
serious, and we’re the first line of defense.”

They sat and talked about the damage the drug
had done to small towns in the Midwest. Adam told Jude what he’d
learned from the DEA about meth production.

“
They cook the shit on the
back of bicycles for fuck’s sake.” Adam scraped his hand across his
jaw. “We have to keep it out, because once it takes root, there
isn’t much we can do to stop it.”

Jude left the station thinking about meth
instead of obsessing about Autumn. Not exactly an improvement.

Autumn climbed out of her old Volvo and ran
her hands over her skirt, smoothing the pale pink floral one more
time. Deep breath. She could do this. She wanted to do this. She
hadn’t been to church since Gran’s funeral. She had to face it
sooner or later if she expected to make a life for herself here. At
least she wasn’t facing the lions alone.

She scanned the parking lot for Summer’s beat
up Escort. She’d offered to pick up Summer and Abby, but her sister
insisted on driving them herself. Autumn had a feeling her sister
didn’t want her at the trailer and it worried her.

She looked past the line of people waiting to
file into church and saw Abby waving her arms above her head. More
than one disapproving look flashed her way, but the little girl
seemed oblivious. Summer stood beside her looking pretty but tired,
her sandy-blonde hair pulled back off of her pale face. Even at a
distance she could see the dark circles around her sister’s hollow
eyes.