Feels Like Family (4 page)

“Let me know when you figure out how we wound up with our lips locked,” she said. “We walked past my office five minutes ago and I need to get back there. See you.”

“Hold it!” he commanded before she could leave. “What about the apology you owe me?”

Helen frowned. “Excuse me?”

“That pie you tossed in my face,” he reminded her.

“You deserved it,” she said.

“Maybe you deserved that kiss,” he said. “Maybe I should take back that apology. After all, it could happen again.”

Helen gave him a hard look. “Don’t even think about it.”

There was a daring gleam in his eye as he took a step in her direction. She backed up and nearly tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry about the damn pie,” she said hurriedly. “Now I really do have to go.”

She spun around and took off in the direction of her office as fast as she could, given the three-inch heels she wore. Viewed from Erik’s vantage point, her haste probably wasn’t a pretty sight, but impressing him wasn’t real high on her priority list right now.

“Women!” Erik muttered as he watched Helen cut across the grass in an awkward gait and run up the front steps to her office.

But it wasn’t women in general who made him nuts. It was
this
woman. He needed to stay as far away from Helen as humanly possible. Maybe he could figure out some way to get Dana Sue to ban her from the kitchen at Sullivan’s. No, that was impossible, given Dana Sue’s apparent matchmaking scheme, which, now that he thought about it, had probably kicked into gear months ago, when Helen had first been drafted into kitchen duty. If he suggested now that Helen didn’t belong in the restaurant kitchen, he could all but guarantee that’s where she’d turn up. Better to keep his mouth shut.

When he got back to Sullivan’s, Karen and Dana Sue both avoided looking at him. He figured that wouldn’t last, either. Dana Sue’s curiosity would eventually get the better of her. When it came to cross-examining, she came in a close second to her attorney pal.

Thankfully he still had to finish the preparations for tonight’s dessert special, an apple bread pudding that had become a customer favorite. It was on the menu every Friday night. Working quickly, he assembled the ingredients, filled two large baking pans with the bread-and-apple mixture, then poured the blended liquid ingredients over the top and popped both pans in the oven. After baking, it would be cut into squares, then served warm with a caramel sauce, whipped cream or cinnamon ice cream, according to the customer’s preference.

Just as the pans went into the oven, he noticed Dana Sue studying him intently, but before she could accost him with questions, her husband walked in and her attention immediately shifted to him. Erik figured he owed the man a beer for his excellent timing.

“Hey, Erik, Karen,” Ronnie said as he made a beeline
for his wife and pulled her into his arms. “Hey, you. How’s my favorite chef?”

Dana Sue glanced pointedly in Erik’s direction. “Actually I was about to suggest to Erik that we take a break before the dinner rush.”

“Too busy,” Erik said, heading toward the pantry in search of the ingredients for walnut brownies he could make now and freeze for later.

“Doing what?” Dana Sue asked, regarding him suspiciously.

“I thought I’d get a head start on next week and make up some brownies,” he told her.

Dana Sue beamed at him. “Sounds like an excuse to avoid talking to me.” She linked an arm through his. “Let’s take a break. Ronnie, how about bringing some iced tea out for all of us?”

Ronnie regarded Erik with sympathy. “Sorry, pal. She’s the boss.”

“At home, too?” Erik asked.

Ronnie grinned. “At home there’s a delicate balance of power that’s ever-changing,” he replied. “Unfortunately, for your sake, we’re in her restaurant now. I have zero standing here.”

“Pitiful,” Erik said. “I thought men were supposed to stick together.”

“Normally, yes,” Ronnie agreed. “But in this instance, I have to admit to being a little curious myself about why the prospect of talking to my wife has you as jittery as a june bug.”

“Are you two through yet?” Dana Sue was impatient. “At this rate, there won’t be any time left for a nice long chat.”

“Now
there’s
a reason to celebrate,” Erik muttered.

Across the kitchen, Karen giggled, then buried her face in a paper towel in a futile attempt to smother her laughter.

“Another traitor,” Erik noted. “Okay, let’s get this inquisition over with.”

Dana Sue frowned at him. “It’s hardly an inquisition,” she said, leading him to a booth in the dining room. “Just one friend catching up with another one.”

Erik smiled despite his deteriorating mood. “How much catching up can we possibly have to do?”

“You were gone half an hour,” she said. “A lot can happen in half an hour.” She sat and patted the seat beside her. “Sit right here.”

“I think you should reserve that spot for your husband,” Erik said. “I’ll sit over here.” He sat on the edge all the way around on the other side of the table, as far away as he could possibly get and still be in the same booth.

Dana Sue regarded him with amusement. “How did your chat go with Helen? Did you two kiss and make up?” she asked just as Ronnie joined them.

Ronnie’s eyebrows shot up. “You and Helen? Now that’s something I never would have imagined.”

“Be quiet,” Dana Sue ordered.

“There is no me and Helen,” Erik assured him. “It’s all in your wife’s imagination.”

“I did not imagine that kiss last night,” Dana Sue told him. “That kiss was hot enough to solder steel.”

“How much do you know about soldering steel?” Erik asked.

“Beside the point,” Dana Sue retorted. “You get the picture. Now, answer me. Did you kiss and make up when you walked her back to her office?”

“We walked. We talked. End of story. May I go now?” Erik said. “My bread pudding is probably burned to a crisp.”

“It’s not due out of the oven for another ten minutes and you know it,” Dana Sue said without hesitation. “I want details about what happened between you and Helen.”

Erik slid out of the booth. “Then call Helen. The doors of this place open in less than an hour and I have work to do, something I would think that you, as the owner, would remember.”

He walked away without looking back.

“I won’t forget about this,” Dana Sue called after him.

Sadly, he knew that was the truth. Like most women, Dana Sue had a long memory. Worse yet, she had a streak of determination that could rival a wartime general’s. Something told him her full-throttle campaign to get him hooked up with Helen had just begun.

H
elen hadn’t been able to forget the way her evening had ended at Sullivan’s a few days earlier. Nor had she been able to forget the speculative glances Dana Sue had given her and Erik during their tense meeting with Karen the next day. She knew that kind of look. Her friend thought there was something going on between Erik and her. Or maybe she just
wanted
something to be going on so she could feel good about her matchmaking skills. Either way, Helen was not looking forward to her next encounter with Dana Sue and the questions that awaited.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t put off seeing her any longer. She, Dana Sue and Maddie were scheduled for one of their morning get-togethers at The Corner Spa today. Since Helen had been all for these regular meetings to discuss spa business, she could hardly skip one. Her absence would just bring Dana Sue’s curiosity to a boil.

Besides, what with Maddie’s increasingly hectic schedule—a new husband and a new baby took up most of her time—and Dana Sue’s demands at Sullivan’s and her remarriage to Ronnie, the three of them hardly had any time to themselves anymore. Helen missed their leisurely chats.
She’d started to feel a little like an outsider in their busy lives, though both of them would be appalled if they knew she felt that way.

Filled with a peculiar sense of dread, she braced herself as she walked through the bustling workout room. Personal trainer Elliott Cruz waved to her, as did several of the women who were sweating through a spinning class. The instructor was really putting them through their paces on the stationary bikes.

Helen paused to stick her head into the lavender-scented spa area where Jeanette was busy giving a facial to a blissful customer. The relaxing aroma reminded Helen that she’d been promising herself a massage for weeks now, hoping it would ease the constant tension in her shoulders.

“Everything okay with you?” she asked Jeanette, whom they’d stolen from a very upscale spa in Charleston. With her very short black hair and huge dark eyes, there was something exotic about Jeanette that made most of their clientele think she’d come from Europe. At least until they heard her speak. Her accent was as slow and sugary sweet as any South Carolinian’s.

“Perfect,” Jeanette told her. “Be sure to ask Maddie about the idea I had the other day.”

“Will do,” Helen promised.

Jeanette had more ideas, most of them excellent, than everyone else combined. She’d brought a lot of experience and creativity with her when she’d come to work for them. Their day spa services had increased in revenue at an even faster clip than their gym memberships. The days of Helen thinking of her investment in The Corner Spa as a tax shelter were long past. The place filled a surprisingly large niche in the region and business was booming.

Jeanette had already justified the expense of adding another technician to help handle the ever-increasing number and range of beauty treatments and massages they offered to a clientele who wanted to be truly pampered. Even the women of Serenity, who’d never even considered the extravagance of getting a massage, were signing up to treat themselves on special occasions. And, thanks to Jeanette’s word-of-mouth promotion, they’d sold a dozen gift certificates in the past week alone before Maddie had even had a chance to make their spa package marketing plan. If this kept up, The Corner Spa was single-handedly going to turn the previously well-kept secret of Serenity’s small-town charm into a tourist destination.

When Helen couldn’t put it off a second longer, she wandered onto the patio and spotted Maddie in the shade with her eyes closed. Obviously she’d seized the opportunity for a little catnap. Helen hesitated to interrupt her.

Maddie had only recently told them that she was pregnant for the second time since her marriage to Cal, something she claimed had taken both of them by surprise. Still, her previous pregnancy had gone so smoothly and she and Cal were so delighted with their daughter that she’d taken the fact of her second pregnancy in stride, though Maddie admitted she’d kept it to herself through the first trimester just in case there were complications.

Helen was the one who’d been thrown. Why did it seem to be so easy for Maddie to have a baby while she herself continued to wrestle with the decision about whether to take measures to have a child of her own? Sometime during the past year, watching Maddie breeze through her pregnancy with a doting husband by her side, holding baby Jessica Lynn in her arms and breathing in that powdery,
just-bathed baby scent, Helen had become increasingly obsessed with the idea of having her own child. The depth of the yearning had caught her completely off guard. Up until then, she thought she’d been content and fulfilled with her single lifestyle and playing doting aunt to her friends’ children.

Once the yearning had surfaced, though, it had taken over most of her waking moments, at least when she wasn’t drowning in a sea of court documents. Lately she’d been working hard to get her high blood pressure in check, as the two high-risk pregnancy obstetricians she’d visited had advised. She’d made a dozen lists of the pros and cons about seizing her dream by whatever means necessary. But when it came down to actually taking the next step, she’d hesitated. She didn’t know what to make of her uncharacteristic indecisiveness. Something was holding her back, but she had no idea what.

Pushing aside her own doubts and her envy of Maddie’s pregnancy, she plastered a smile on her face and went to join her friend.

“Are you sure you’re only a few months along?” Helen asked, waking Maddie from her nap. She patted the mound of her tummy. “Seems to me you weren’t showing this much this early with any of your other kids. Maybe you’re having twins this time.”

“Bite your tongue,” Maddie said. “One baby at a time is more than enough. I hate to think how exhausted I’d be if there were two of them.”

Helen regarded her with concern. “If you’re that tired, shouldn’t you be at home with your feet up?”

Maddie grinned. “I work for these tyrants,” she explained. “This place gets busier and more demanding every
day. I can’t get any time off. Besides, the baby’s not due for months.”

Helen sat down and studied Maddie’s glowing face. With four children already—three from her first marriage to pediatrician Bill Townsend—forty-two-year-old Maddie hadn’t been nearly as anxious as Cal to try again, but looking at her now, Helen knew that she was as excited about the new arrival as her husband.

Maddie studied Helen with a knowing look. “You haven’t said much about it for quite a while now, but you’re still thinking about having a baby, too, aren’t you?”

Helen nodded. “I had no idea I’d ever feel such a strong maternal yearning, but every time you hand me Jessica Lynn and she looks up at me with those big blue eyes and blows those tiny little bubbles or smiles at me, it makes me realize just how much I’ve missed in my life.”

“And?” Maddie prodded. “Did you ever follow through and talk to a doctor about whether your high blood pressure presents too much of a risk? When you didn’t mention it, Dana Sue and I figured that you’d dropped the whole idea.”

“To be honest, I’m a little surprised you haven’t pestered me about it long before now,” Helen said. “You’re usually not that hesitant to poke about in my life.”

“This is one of those decisions that’s yours to make. Neither of us wanted to sway you one way or another. So, did you follow through or not?”

Helen wasn’t sure why she’d kept those doctor visits a secret, but when confronted with a direct question, she saw no reason to lie. “I’ve seen two high-risk pregnancy experts,” she admitted. “Both of them have said that if I promised to take extremely good care of myself and stay
in bed at the first sign of blood pressure problems, I could go ahead with a pregnancy.”

Maddie’s brows drew together. “Then why do you look so unhappy? Isn’t that exactly the news you were hoping for?”

Helen nodded. “Then I bumped straight into reality. Getting pregnant isn’t the slam dunk I thought it would be. I mean, some women get pregnant just by going to bed with somebody once, but somehow I don’t see myself going out and having some casual fling, hoping to get a baby out of it.”

Maddie smiled. “Yes, I imagine you’d want to know the man’s entire medical history and his pedigree, which pretty much rules out the whole casual thing.”

Helen frowned at her because the remark hit a little too close to the truth. “My point is that this should mean something, you know? I can’t imagine telling my son or daughter someday that I met their dad in a bar and never saw him again.”

“Okay. What about artificial insemination?”

“I’ve thought about it,” Helen said. “Even did some research on fertility clinics that do the procedure. There are very reputable ones. I could either bring in a donor or use one of their anonymous ones.” She struggled to put her feelings into words. “It just seems so, I don’t know,
artificial
. To be honest,” Helen went on, “my reaction threw me. You know me. I take charge. I don’t think I need anybody for anything, but the idea of having a baby that way seemed too cold and impersonal.”

“So you’ve just given up?” Maddie asked, clearly surprised.

“No,” Helen protested. “I’ve just taken a step back. I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Making lists?” Maddie asked.

“Yes, I’ve made lists,” Helen replied. “If more people did that, they’d make fewer mistakes.”

“Whoa!” Maddie said. “On any level whatsoever, do you see having a child of your own as a mistake?”

Helen winced at the heat in Maddie’s voice. “Don’t say it like that. I told you that getting pregnant was only one of my concerns. What if I’m too selfish, too self-absorbed, too busy to be a really good mom?”

“Ah, so that’s it,” Maddie said. “Self-doubts plague just about everyone contemplating having a baby for the first time. You’re not unique.”

“I’m trying to be responsible,” Helen said defensively. “I’m older. I’m alone. Is that going to be the best thing for a child? By the time my child’s in kindergarten, the other kids will have grandmas my age.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Maddie said.

“Only a little bit.”

“Do you want to know what I think?” Maddie asked, then went on without waiting for Helen’s reply. “I think you’re just plain scared. This would be a huge step, a big change in your life and for all of your claims to being a modern, totally independent woman, you’re terrified that you’ll finally find something in life at which you can’t excel.”

Miffed at Maddie’s perceptiveness, Helen said, “Well, you have to admit it would be a really bad thing to mess up.”

“Okay, let’s go back to basics,” Maddie suggested, studying Helen intently. “Are you really sure you want a baby? Or do you just like the
idea
of having a baby?”

Helen regarded her miserably. “I wish I knew.”

“Have you ever known yourself not to go after something you really, really wanted?” Maddie pressed.

“Are you saying you don’t believe I want a child at all?” Helen asked, startled by the thought.

“I’m only suggesting that your biological clock started ticking loudly when I got pregnant with Jessica Lynn and you realized it was now or never.” She reached for Helen’s hand. “Maybe it’s never, sweetie. Not every woman has to have a child to be fulfilled. Maybe what you’re really longing for is a powerful connection to another person.”

“A man?” Helen asked incredulously. “You’re suggesting I forget about a baby and just find myself a man? Now there’s an enlightened point of view. Come on, Maddie. I think I know myself a little better than that. Besides, of all people, I know that relationships don’t always last. Why would I want to set myself up for heartache?”

“I’m just telling you that maybe what you’re feeling is an emptiness in your life that could be filled in some other way. If you haven’t taken steps by now to have a baby, then perhaps on some subconscious level, you know that’s not really what you want.”

“Or maybe I just want one the old-fashioned way,” Helen retorted, annoyed that Maddie was questioning her determination, even if she was asking questions Helen had asked herself a million times. “Did you ever think of that? Maybe I want a man and a baby and the whole family thing that you and Dana Sue have.”

“But you just said…” Maddie began, obviously confused.

Helen could hardly blame her. She was confused herself. To her dismay, tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “Excuse me. I need to get out of here.”

“Helen?” Maddie called after her. “Come back here. Let’s talk about this.”

But Helen made a clean getaway—which she’d hear about
later. In fact, she’d probably find Maddie and Dana Sue on her doorstep before the sun set. Although, maybe by then she’d somehow figure out what the hell was really going on with her and why this decision about a baby was the only one she’d ever been incapable of making.

Erik had come to work early, hoping to get enough done to cut out the second Dana Sue arrived and thereby avoid another conversation about his love life, or lack thereof.

He was surprised when the back door inched open and Annie Sullivan, Dana Sue’s daughter, stuck her head in. “Is it okay to come in?” the seventeen-year-old inquired. “Are you really busy?”

“Just getting a head start on my day,” he said, gesturing for her to come in. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

“Not for another hour,” Annie told him, dropping her books by the door and climbing onto the stool beside his prep area. “My mom’s not around, is she?”

“No. Why?” he asked. “Were you hoping she would be?”

“No. Actually I wanted to talk to you.”

Erik regarded her suspiciously. “Why?”

“Because you’re a guy and you’re not my dad.”

“An unbiased male point of view is what you’re after,” he concluded. “Are you sure I’m the right person? I’m not exactly a relationship expert. I assume this is about Ty.”

She grinned. “Of course.”

Ever since Annie’s hospitalization with severe complications from anorexia, she and Maddie’s son Tyler had gotten closer. They’d always been family friends, but Annie had wanted more, and Ty seemed to be showing some interest at long last. They’d been on half a dozen “real” dates, as Annie liked to call them, before Ty left for college,
though both of them stopped short of saying they were actually a couple.