Feeling Hot (36 page)

He punched in the pass code for his inbox, desperate to hear Jen’s voice, even if it was via voicemail, but two minutes later, his desperation had transformed into a burst of white-hot rage.

“Goddamn it,” he swore, slamming his hand on the dash so hard he was surprised the air bag didn’t deploy in his face.

Ryan looked over sharply. “What’s wrong?”

“Fucking Psycho McGee attacked Jen.” Cash’s voice came out low and deadly, and his insides had coiled into incensed knots.

“What? I thought he left town.”

“He did, but apparently he came back. The asshole showed up at Jen’s apartment, muscled his way inside, and fucking
attacked
her.”

His hands curled into fists. Jen had assured him in the message that she was okay and that Brendan had been arrested, but that didn’t stop Cash from wanting to murder the son of a bitch.

“Is she all right?” Ryan asked.

“She claims she’s fine.” He clenched his teeth. “But who the fuck knows.”

Ryan sped up without needing to be asked. With the Jeep’s top down, the wind hissed in the front seat and slapped Cash’s face as the scenery whizzed past his peripheral vision. The closer they got to their building, the angrier Cash felt. At Brendan. At himself.

Before he could stop it, a rush of guilt flooded his body and tightened his throat. Fuck.
Fuck
. He should have been here to protect her. Jen hadn’t said much in the message, and she certainly hadn’t sounded accusatory or upset with him, but Cash was pretty damn upset with
himself
. What kind of man couldn’t protect the woman he loved?

“Get out here,” Ryan said briskly as he slowed down in front of the building. “I’ll park the car.”

Cash was out of the Jeep before it came to a complete stop. He still wore his dirty fatigues, his boots were caked with dirt and sand from their three-day stint in the desert, but he didn’t give a shit about his appearance at the moment. He all but sprinted up to the second floor, his pulse drumming in tune to his hurried footsteps.

Worry and rage mingled in his blood to form a cocktail of nerves. Jen had said she was okay, but if so much as a hair on her head had been harmed, Cash was going to rip Psycho McGee’s throat out, even if he had to break into the bastard’s jail cell to do it.

“Jen!” he called as he dove through the front door. “Sweetheart, you here?”

No answer.

His heart jammed in his throat. Had she left? She’d said on the message that she and Annabelle were heading back here, but granted, that had been hours ago.

What if she was gone?

What if she’d changed her mind about being with him?

Cold reality splashed him in the face as he realized he wouldn’t blame her at all for that. He hadn’t been there for her when she’d needed him. And wasn’t that the crux of her no-military thing? That she wanted a man who’d fucking
be there
?

When he entered the living room and found it empty, Cash’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach. A quick peek into his bedroom revealed another empty room.

So that was it. She wasn’t here.

“Cash?”

He jumped in surprise, then spun around to find Jen by the bathroom doorway.

For one long moment, he was frozen in place. His gaze focused on her swollen left eye, already a ghastly shade of purple. Her lush mouth, pursed in a worried frown. Her long blonde hair falling over one shoulder.

“You’re here,” he blurted out.

She cast him a strange look. “Of course I am.”

Cash flew to her, his heart pounding incessantly as he yanked her into his arms and held her so tight he heard her gasp for air. But he couldn’t help himself. She felt so small and fragile in his arms. He breathed in the flowery aroma of her shampoo, the sweet feminine scent that was uniquely Jen, and his heart lurched in his chest.

He pulled back and gently stroked her cheek, right beneath her swollen eye. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “Oh, fuck, Jen. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Her voice trembled. “It looks worse than it feels.”

The sight of that black eye sent a bolt of pure fury up his spine. “I’m going to drown the bastard,” he hissed.

A faint smile played over her lips. “First of all, drowning is Carson’s thing. Second, Brendan was arrested, so I suggest we let the cops deal with him. And third—what are you doing home? I figured you’d be gone for longer.”

“I told you it was a minor op,” he reminded her. Self-recrimination poured into him, and he swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

Surprise flickered in her eyes. “Why are you sorry?”

The lump in his throat was so massive he could barely get a word out. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he croaked. “Christ, I should’ve been here, but I wasn’t and look what happened—that son of a bitch
hurt
you.”

“Cash—”

His entire body burned with shame. “Go ahead and do it.”

Now she looked wary. “What are you talking about?”

“Break up with me. I wouldn’t blame you if you changed your mind about being with me.” Misery hung on his every word. “You were right—you need a full-time partner. A man who’s going to be there for you and protect you and—”

“Are you fucking
kidding
me?”

Jen gaped at Cash, wondering if he’d hit his head during that mission or something. Because he was talking like a crazy person. Kind of looked like a crazy person too, with that wild look in his blue eyes and the dark scruff covering his face. She’d been so happy to see him when she’d walked out of the bathroom and spotted him in the hall, but the more he babbled on about breaking up, the
un
happier she became.

“No, I’m not kidding,” he mumbled. “I wasn’t here for you, and isn’t that what you were afraid of? That you’d be forced to handle everything alone? And you had to fucking handle being
assaulted
! Holy hell, I should have—”

“Jeez, cowboy, would you shut up already? Nobody’s breaking up with anybody.”

Cash faltered, and a flicker of confusion replaced the feral look in his eyes. “No?”

“
No
.” With a sigh, she reached up to cup his chin, the stubble there abrading her palms. “It’s not your fault that Brendan showed up. If anyone’s to blame for this, it’s me, for not being more cautious when I went back to my apartment.”

Cash still looked dubious. “You’re not angry that I wasn’t there to protect you?”

“I protected myself just fine,” she replied. “And you know what? As messed up as this sounds, I’m happy Brendan showed up this morning. Now the cops are involved and
they
can deal with him, and besides, the whole encounter was proof that I
can
take care of myself. The self-defense training my family shoved down my throat paid off, and I got out of the situation with nothing but a black eye when it could’ve been a lot worse.”

Jen smiled. “So no, I’m not angry with you. And hell no, I’m not dumping you. I was strong enough to deal with my psycho ex, and I’m definitely strong enough to be in this relationship with you.”

Before she could blink, Cash tugged her into his arms again and kissed the living daylights out of her. His lips were firm, his tongue insistent, his beard growth prickly as it scraped her chin. The kiss robbed her of breath and made her heart pound, and when they broke apart, the relief in Cash’s eyes was unmistakable.

“You mean it, right? You’re okay that I wasn’t here when you needed me? Because it could happen again, sweetheart. The military is my life. I
will
be gone at times.”

She traced his mouth with her fingers. “I know. And I can handle that. We can make this work.” She paused. “And anyway, you won’t be the only traveling partner in this relationship.”

He cocked a brow. “Oh really?”

“Uh-huh. In fact, I’m flying to Lake Tahoe Wednesday morning. It’s just a day trip, but it still counts as travel, right?”

“Is this your way of telling me you got the job?” he teased.

“Yep.”

Jen yelped when Cash lifted her off her feet and hugged her. His happiness was contagious, making her forget about this morning’s terrifying showdown with Brendan and reminding her of all the incredible things she had going in her life at the moment.

“I knew you’d get it,” he said gruffly.

Her heart constricted as he bent down to capture her lips in another deep kiss that left her tingling in all the right places.

“I’m so damn proud of you, sweetheart,” he went on, sweeping his thumb over her lower lip. “I believed in you from the start, and I’m glad you’re finally believing in yourself.”

“I am,” she agreed softly. Emotion clogged her throat. “And even more than that, I believe in you, Cash. I believe in
us
.”

Chapter Fifteen

Carson paced Jen’s living room carpet, distress creasing his forehead. “What if she doesn’t come?” he said for the tenth time in the last five minutes.

“She just texted saying she’s on her way,” Jen reminded him.

He kept pacing. “What if she sees my car and realizes it’s an ambush?”

“You parked at the grocery store around the corner,” Cash spoke up. “She won’t see your car.”

“But what if she stops to buy groceries?” He sounded anguished. “Fuck. She’s not going to come.”

With a sigh, Jen rose from the couch and marched over to her brother. Cash stayed seated, watching her with an amused expression on his gorgeous face. For a second, she was tempted to flop right back on the couch and kiss that sexy mouth of his, but she reined in the impulse. Besides, she and Cash had done plenty of kissing over the past two days—surely they could afford to take a short break to help her brother.

Clapping both hands on Carson’s shoulders, she fixed him with a stern look. “Chill the fuck out. Holly is on her way here. Any second now, she’ll knock on the door and—”

The knock came as if on cue.

Jen gave those broad shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “See?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed. “How do I look?”

She swept her gaze over his perfectly starched dress whites, the blond hair he’d slicked back with care, the clean-shaven jaw and familiar blue eyes, the same shade as her own.

“You look as handsome as ever,” she said softly.

Saying a silent prayer that Holly wouldn’t bolt the second she saw Carson, Jen walked to the front hall and opened the door to let Holly in. “Hey. Thanks for coming,” she told her sister-in-law.

Holly’s low ponytail fell over one dainty shoulder as she followed Jen inside. “It’s no problem. You sounded so upset over the phone. I still can’t believe you broke up with Cash! I thought you said the two of you were—
Carson
?”

The brunette stopped in her tracks when she spotted her husband. She immediately turned to Jen with a wary look. “What’s going on?” Then she noticed Cash sitting on the sofa, and the wariness deepened. “You two didn’t break up, did you?”

Jen smiled sheepishly. “No.”

Carson took a step toward his wife, his nervousness clearly etched into his face. “Hey, Hol.”

Holly frowned at her husband. “Why are you in uniform?”

“I figured it was appropriate.” He shot her a faint smile. “I was wearing this uniform the night of Garrett and Shelby’s wedding, remember? When we ran into each other again after you abandoned me in a supply closet.”

After a beat, Holly smiled back. “I never thought I’d see you again after that night at the club.” Her green eyes glimmered with humor before going dull again. “But what does that night have to do with right now?”

As the pair eyed each other, Jen edged away, wanting to give them privacy. Cash did the same—he’d already risen from the sofa and was creeping toward the bedroom.

But her brother stopped them before they could make their escape. “Stay,” he said hoarsely. “I might as well grovel in front of an audience.”

“Grovel?” Holly let out a breath. “Carson, I don’t want to talk about—”

“I don’t want you to talk,” he said quietly. “I just want you to listen, okay?”

Holly seemed to hesitate, but then she nodded. She slid the strap of her leather purse off her shoulder and set it on the couch, but she didn’t make a move to sit. She just stood there, staring at her husband with sad green eyes.

Carson shifted his feet, looking more nervous than Jen had ever seen him. Finally, he cleared his throat. “I fucked up, Hol. I know I fucked up and I’ve been trying to find a way to fix this for months now. I was seeing a therapist—”

“You were?” Holly said, agape.

He nodded. “I thought she’d help me figure out how to make things right between us, but arrogant ass that I am, I kept ignoring her advice. She went on and on about communication, and I was all, less talk more action. Like my whole let’s-have-a-baby idea.” He gave a self-deprecating smile. “Because having a kid is really the way to solve a problem, huh?”

Holly laughed softly.

Carson moved closer, and Jen couldn’t help but smile when she saw her brother and sister-in-law standing so close. Carson towered over his wife, and yet Holly was the one who seemed to wield all the power despite her pixie-esque stature.