Feel (29 page)

That smile spreads across her lips, brightening her eyes.  “He has no hold on me now.”

Andy yanks the tape from his mouth and rubs his wrists as he looks down at Griffin.  “Took you long enough to get here,” he grumbles, rubbing the cut above his eye as he nods his chin at Saige.  “Could you not have figured out how to block him before he knocked the hell out of me, princess?”

  Saige grabs the tape from Andy’s hand and slaps it back across his mouth as she shrugs her shoulder at me, laughing, “Don’t let him take that off.  I like him a helluva lot better when he uses less words.”

Darrin bursts into laughter, but I stand frozen as dark thoughts begin to swarm.  If Saige found a way to block Griffin, it’s possible he can find a way to prevent her from doing it in the future.  He’s already escaped once and he went straight for her.  Knowing what I have to do, I refuse to allow my conscious to change my resolve.  He’ll do it again.  Griffin will try to kill Saige, and I know the sick bastard will torment her before he does.  I lost her once, there’s no way in hell I’m going to take the chance of losing her again.  He has to die.

Andy pulls the tape off his mouth and throws the wadded piece at Saige before he catches my gaze, then his eyes fall to Griffin before snapping back to mine.  An entire conversation passes in a few silent seconds. 

Calm seeps its way through the dark when I look at Saige, watching her as she turns and locks those beautiful caramel eyes on me.  She’s suffered her entire life.  I’ve done my damnedest to protect her.  She deserves to feel safe.  That haunting mix of vulnerability and determination that has always brought me to my knees still breathes inside her, but she’s full of so much more.  I won’t let anyone take that from her.  From me. 

“The cops are close,” Andy tells Saige, but directing the words at me, when he wraps his arm around her shoulder.  “Let’s meet them outside.”

Saige glances over her shoulder and I smile, nodding for her to go with Andy and Darrin.  The look she gives me is the same one she’s given me since the day I saved her on the playground when she was seven years old.  That’s my look.  Only mine.  I’ve never seen her give it to anyone else.  I don’t know how the hell I become lucky enough for her to look at me like I’m her hero.  Her Superman.  Saige has never wanted me to fight for her, much less do what I’m getting ready to do, but protecting her is a privilege that I’d die before I’d risk losing, no matter the cost to me.

Griffin’s mouth is covered in blood when I put my foot on the slat of the wooden chair and jerk it upright.  His body rocks back and forth on the floor before I cut his wrists loose.  I gather a fist full of his shirt and pull him up before sending my knee against his jaw.  A pained grunt fills the room as he crumbles to the floor. 

“You deserve to suffer, but I’m not like you,” I state, my voice void of any emotion as I lean next to him. 

His breaths come out in ragged shards but that doesn’t keep him from sputtering laughter as he shakes his head.  “We both hear the sirens.  You won’t kill me, Jensen.  That would be murder, and that’s not who you are.”

“What killing you makes me doesn’t come close to what saving Saige and making sure you can never hurt her again does.”  His neck snaps in my hands and I let go, watching him sink to the ground.  Closing my eyes, I stand and take a deep breath, fighting like hell to keep my head away from the numbing brutality of what I’ve just done. 

When I walk out of this defiled house and see Saige standing there, alive.  Safe.  I have no regrets of what I did or what killing that bastard makes me.  The only thing that matters is Saige.  Us.  We have the rest of our lives to make what we are to become.  Everything I do is for her.  She is what makes me feel.  She is what makes….
me
.

Saige

The end of December in Northern California is blissful perfection.  There’s just enough chill in the air to feel like it’s almost Christmas but it is warm enough to stay outside for hours enjoying the festivities.  I used to hate this time of year because, instead of people being full of joy like all the hype tries to imply, they’re just plain bitchy, bringing me down – but not this time.  Nothing can bring me down this season, especially today when I will become Saige Renee Rider in less than three hours. 

“Will you stop staring at that ring already and hand me a wrench, princess?” Andy snaps me out of my fantasies of the small, intimate wedding we have planned and of what will happen tonight. 

“Hey, I’m not on the payroll until May, so get it yourself,” I tease, giving him a break and tossing him the wrench anyway.  Jensen offered me a job at Reckless on Rails when I graduate.  I know his offer stemmed from knowing I would be a helluva lot more comfortable feeling Andy, Darrin, and Axe than an office full of people any regular job would encompass.  I tried to assure him that I can handle being around others, especially with the techniques I’ve learned from his father’s recorded expertise, but he swore the job offer stands, if I want it.  Truth is, I do.  A huge paycheck has never been my ambition.  After all the years of emotional torment from foreign emotions and from my parents, I just want to be happy. 
I am happy
.  Working with Jensen while I continue to build my already growing clientele of music students until I can open my own music school only adds to that happiness.

Jensen races through the back shop, giving me his panty-melting, cocky grin.  “June, pretty girl.  You’re not on the pay roll until June, remember?”

Butterflies swarm through every piece of me.  Wonderful, beautiful butterflies. 

“I still can’t believe she’s playing in the symphony.”  Andy rolls out from under the bike he’s working on for another new client.  “Sophisticated and Saige just don’t mesh.”

Throwing a faded red rag at Andy, I hop off the counter top and do a curtsey, “I’m the embodiment of sophistication, and, if you suggest otherwise, I’ll be sure to bribe Jensen into paying me more than you.”

“Again with the using the parts I don’t have advantage.  I told you she’s a cheat, bro,” Andy gripes good-heartedly.

  Jensen winks, brushing his lips against the sensitive area below my ear, “I’ll pay you double and give you sexual bonuses as a plus.”

“I’ll take you up on those bonuses, but you can pay me with caffeine and chocolate,” I grin, “I’m easy like that.”

“No, you’re amazingly good like that.”  His mouth closes on mine and heat sears straight through my body, leaving me damp and writhing with need to feel more of him.  “I’m so sorry I had to stop by here today, but I have to get the paperwork to the new client.  I know it’s terrible timing, but this will pay for our honeymoon at the cabin in Gatlinburg and then some.” He shuffles through more papers on the desk.  “If I could find where the hell Axe put them.”

“That’s why you need me now.  I will handle your paperwork just like your finances.”

“Your stubborn ass lost this argument fair and square, pretty girl.  Continue giving violin lessons first, get your degree, kick ass at the symphony concerts next, then, start here.”  Jensen rakes his hand through his hair as he checks a few more drawers.  “Dammit!  I must’ve missed it in the office.  I’ll be right back, and we’ll go.”

I stare at Jensen’s ass as he rushes away.  A dirty rag smacks me in the face and I let out a squeal.  “Hey!  I don’t have time to take another shower before the wedding.”

“Looks like you could use a cold one right about now,” Andy laughs.  “Get your head out of the gutter.”

“I was just thinking about his mad skills on the bike,” I grin, leaving out the part of how he’s even more skilled in bed.  An all-out inferno sends its blazing fire to my cheeks when I think of the time when Jensen combined those two skills and made love to me on his bike after he kicked my ass in the race we waged to decide who gets their way about when I start at Reckless on Rails.  Having your pride crushed hurts a helluva lot less when Jensen makes up for the loss with his tongue and every hard inch of that chiseled, tattooed body. 

“Please.  My skills are every bit as good as his,” Andy cracks. 

“Then how come I kicked your ass when we raced?” I cock my brow.

“Like I said – you cheat.”

“Let’s go again.  Sam’s not here to see you lose this time.  I won’t even tell her when I leave you crying in the dust,” I goad.

“You’re so on.”  Andy drops the wrench on the counter and wipes his hands before we head outside.

I grab my helmet and straddle the new bike Jensen built for me. 

“Whoa.  What’s going on?”  Jensen calls as he comes out of the door with papers in hand.

“Your friend here just doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut,” I cock my brow and rev the engine. 

“You do realize that we are getting married in a couple of hours, right?” Jensen asks, slipping his hand up my shirt, tracing his fingers against my lower back.

“Yep.  Don’t worry; I won’t humiliate him badly enough for him to get pissed off and not stand up as your best man.”

Andy throws his hands up in the air, “And you say that I have the mouth.”

“But Jensen loves my smart mouth.  Yours just irritates the hell outta him,” I tease.

  “That’s my girl.  Racing and giving hell right before saying our vows,” Jensen grins, giving me a wink.

  “Don’t forget the winning part,” I burst out between fits of laughter as Andy crosses his arms across his chest, pouting.

  “Only when it’s not me you’re racing,” Jensen winks cockily before brushing his lips against my ear, “How in the hell am I such a lucky bastard to have you?”

Taking a deep breath, I let his green eyes enslave me as the edges of his mouth curves.  “I’m the one who got lucky thirteen years ago.”  My hands press against the hard ripple of his chest as I lean in to suck his lip inside my mouth.

“All this talk about getting lucky is making the beast in my jeans all riled up more than he already is seeing you straddling that bike, pretty girl,” he growls, adjusting himself after he breaks away from our kiss, then turns serious like he always does right before I unleash my wild side.  “Remember, if you’re flying, it will take a longer space for you to stop the bike.  Keep the brakes even, Saige, then ease up on the back one.  Andy’s got weight and strength on you.”

“Hey, I’m no wussy princess, despite his smartass comments.”

“Oh, trust me, there’s not one wussy thing about you, but I can’t change the facts.  He’s stronger, so use your legs to help the rest of your body control the bike and watch your throttle.”

“It’s not my first race,” I remind him, loving how he takes care of me.

“Humor me and stay safe, or I’ll kick your pretty butt.”

Giving a wink, I slide the visor down and nod at Andy. 

Jensen stands between us, returns my wink, then, drops his fist.

The feel of the power in this machine is pure addiction as I get traction and push it to full throttle in the straight of the test track Jensen had built for prospective buyers and racers.  When I get to the turn, I shift my body and foot so my weight is on the inside then quickly shift it to the other side to right the bike.  It’s in the turns where I gain my advantage and I take the lead through the second one around the building, giving it all I have as I balance my position, holding the fastest speed that I feel Jensen won’t lecture me for as I whip by him, being careful to keep my focus so I don’t take the turn too soon. 

I feel Andy behind me and lean my weight so far over, I’m hanging off the side, but it gives me enough lead that I know I have him.  A shot of his pride for me warms my heart.  I never had anyone who cares about me, other than Jensen.  Having Andy in my life is like having a big brother.  Having the rest of the crew only adds to that.  I love all of them.

Just for the feel of it, I rev the engine, tearing through the straight at a pace just slightly below reckless.  Hell, I have to live up to the name Jensen dubbed his shop after me.  The adrenaline pumping through my veins is beyond invigorating and I enjoy every bit of the sensation as it seeps into my bones until I reach the point to where I have to break or I’ll overshoot the stop.  Dust billows around my body and bike as I slide to a stop.  My heart is still pumping so fast, I get a little high from the exhilaration.  The look on Jensen’s face brings that high down a few notches.

“I may have named my shop after your crazy as hell riding, but you gave me your word about calming that wild side down so you don’t scare the shit out of me.”

Placing the helmet on my seat, I shrug innocently, “I kept it below 200 mph.”

“What am I going to do with you, pretty girl?” he groans, grabbing me and swinging me around in his arms.

Andy unstraps his helmet and bumps it against his leg, “I can think of a few things, but I’ll keep my mouth shut since it is your wedding day.”  He pulls me in for a hug, “I will absolutely kick your ass one day, princess, so don’t go getting too cocky.”

Before I have time to respond, Josie’s beamer pulls next to us. 

“Get your butt in here right now, Saige!” Josie calls from the window, giving the stink eye at Jensen as she fusses, “I can’t believe you brought her to work on her wedding day, Rider.”

Giving a shrug he checks his watch, “It’s my wedding day as well and I think she enjoyed herself kicking Andy’s ass a helluva lot more than being pampered with hair and make-up at the salon you and Sam are taking her to.”

Sam sticks her head out the window and groans, “Why did you have to go and beat him in another race, Saige?  He was unbearable to live with when you did it the first time.”

“She cheats, baby,” Andy protests, his eyes glowing bright blue when he sees Sam. 

If her smile isn’t any indication of how she feels when she looks at Andy, the warmth and love shooting from her in waves proves she’s as crazy for him as he is for her. 
Damn, how I adore the feeling of love.
 

“I gotta go,” I whisper against Jensen’s mouth.  “I’ll see you soon.”

“Ummhmm,” he hums against my lips, grazing his teeth against my sensitive skin as his warm, moist tongue slides across where he just nipped. 

Making myself pull away is so damn hard, but I don’t want helmet head hair on my wedding day.  Opening the door to Josie’s beamer, I slide inside as they whisk me away to the salon. 

  A couple of hours later, I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to tame the tickle from the butterflies in my stomach.  There’s a knock on the door and Sam opens it, giving Andy a kiss when he walks in.  Watching those two in the mirror calms me as their love swirls inside.  Repressing a giggle from the blush spreading across Sam’s ivory cheeks when Andy groans and pulls away from her, I smile approvingly when she catches my gaze in the mirror and brushes her raven hair behind her ear.  If one good thing could have come from everything Griffin did, it’s how tracking him brought Andy and Sam together. 

A shudder runs down my spine at thoughts of Griffin and I push all those memories away.  He’s gone.  I know what Jensen did, but I also know he did it for me.  Pushing those thoughts away, I grin when Andy steps behind me, taking my arm and turning me around.  “You look -” he stops, his eyes softening as they take in my curled hair, strapless, softly tiered lace and satin dress, and very unlike me girly shoes. “Well…like a princess.”

I wrap my arms around his neck, “Thank you.”

“Don’t make her cry,” Josie chastises, ushering me towards the door.  “Jensen has to see you before you ruin your make-up.”

I stay silent, but my heart swells at how I know that make-up doesn’t mean anything to Jensen.  He loves me just like I am.  I love him just as deeply.  Andy slips back out the doors to go to the front of the tiny chapel and I can’t keep the smile from igniting when I step through those same doors and see Jensen standing up there waiting on me. 

He’s looking down when he hears the music begin to play.  The depth of love in his eyes nearly makes me stumble and fall flat on my face, especially in these ridiculously high heels, when he looks up at me.  His hand reaches for mine as I step next to him.  The words of the pastor barely register as he has us repeat what we’ve already felt for each other for so long.  Our vows roll off our tongues naturally, promising ourselves to each other when we both know Jensen’s been mine and I’ve been his since that day on the playground.  He said I stole pieces of his heart, but it was my heart that was stolen.  I vowed myself to him when I was seven years old…I just didn’t know it yet. 

Jensen

When the doors open and Saige steps through, flashes of her face spin through my memory.  Shots of the first time I took her to our field and she clung to my hand like she was terrified I would leave her alone, the first time I saw her send her fist plowing into the nose of the asshole who pushed her against a wall when she was nine, all the times she fought like hell not to cry after all the other assholes tore her down, and when those tears fell like acid in my soul when I was the one who hurt her, whirl like snippets of the hell I felt wanting to protect her from all the pain.  Then, images of her smile, those beautiful eyes burning so damn bright when she would look at me as we lay in the grass under the stars, and the sound of her laugh, glimmer inside.  Through everything, the good and the bad, she gave me all of her.  She trusted me with her heart, even when I broke it.  She never lost her faith in who I am.