F*cking Awkward (16 page)

“It was weird, but I’m over it now.”

“I know, Jillian.”

His use of my full name so often in one night confirms that something’s changed between us, but maybe in a way I didn’t anticipate. I mean, we’ve never talked like this before about such
intimate
things. And, if I’m honest, I don’t want Caden to stop talking about how he got turned on by kissing me.

“When we were hanging out in the pool with you afterwards, Jill?” He takes an audible breath. “I was hard again seeing you in that pink bikini with your wet hair and…your boobs…and nipples. Oh, jeez, Jillian. You are fucking perfection.”

I glance at my fingers playing lazily over my “perfect boobs.” That hand must have a mind of its own because I wasn’t even aware I was feeling myself up. And, yep, there are my hard nipples standing at attention while my fingers swirl over and around them.

This sudden awareness stirs my body’s earlier arousal.
Throbthrobthrob
. The pattern pulses stronger than before and I slide my other hand to the spot between my legs. My fingers repeat the movements they learned earlier.
Ahh
.

Caden’s still talking, “I’m pretty sure James was going crazy for you, too. I mean, he was an ass, as usual, but…Well, anyway, you heard what he thought about you and it must have carried over to his, umm, bedtime activities. When you called, he was…”

“Don’t stop, Caden.” With one finger buried deep inside of me and my thumb pressed on my clitoris, I’m desperate to hear what Caden has to say next.

“Are you sure you want to know, Jillian?”

“Yes. Please.”

“When you called James, he was taking care of things. Jerking off.
Masturbating
. And when he heard your voice on the phone he got confused. He thought you were in his head. I mean, in the fantasy in his head, and so he, umm, finished. James ejaculated.”

Jerking off
.
My voice
.
Ejaculated
.

Wow.

“Do you mean he was thinking about me when he—”

“Yes.”

“He told you that?”

“Yeah.”

I try to picture James jerking off. I mean I don’t know what
his
penis looks like, well, outside of the bulge in his shorts tonight, but I saw the penises in those porn videos.
And, bingo, there it is. The image of James jerking off, right there in my head
. Hot as hell.

My fingers move a little faster.

“
C
aden
?” I ask.

“Yeah, Jill?”

“What’s it like?”

After a few false starts he asks, “You want to know what it’s like to jerk off? Jesus, Jill. Really?”

“You’ve done it, right?”

Caden is quiet, but I know he’s there because I can still hear him breathing. It’s raspier than usual and I like the sound on him. A lot.

“Is that too personal?” I ask.

“After tonight, Jill?” He gives me that sexy laugh again. “I don’t think anything is too personal between us. I’m just trying to figure out how to explain it.”

“Do you…” I chicken out from asking him about the image in my mind.

“First, I use something to lube up my dick. Usually lotion.”

Holy shit. He’s really telling me
.

“I stroke my dick down and up, again and again.” Caden takes a sharp inhale, then says, “Fuck, Jill. This conversation is so fucked up.” His voice is broken and conflicted, like he doesn’t know whether to finish what he started.

“I don’t care. I want to know.” I whisper, my voice filled with hope and an urgency I need him to understand. Then I wait.

When Caden continues, the calm confidence I’m used to hearing from him is back. “I usually start off slow. So it will feel good for as long as possible, you know?”

The place between my legs knows.

“But, at some point, I change the pace and go faster.” So does Caden’s breathing pattern. “Sometimes it’s a memory or a picture or a video that gets me going.”

My hand speed increases yet again as I listen to him describe how he
jerks off
in detail. So like Caden. Self-assured and
thorough.

“I’ll grip myself tighter…” he gasps, “and move my hand faster.”

Caden stops talking and I listen to his breaths grow harsher.

The intense feeling of power that’s been growing in me hits its peak. This time, when the tightening feeling that frightened me before comes back, I don’t stop the momentum.

I let my own gasp loose and somehow manage to say, “Caden, what’s it called when”—I gulp—“a girl…touches…I’ve been—”

“Oh. My. God. Jillian. Are you— I’m— Ahhh, Jill.”

His voice triggers an unfamiliar and welcome reaction. All of the tension that’s built up tonight…lets
go
… And while I register Caden moaning my name along with other sounds, “Jillian. Jill. Ohhh. Ahhh.” I’m mostly focused on the wave of sensation stemming from the one spot that I thought was bringing me trouble all night, but in reality was getting me ready for this most wonderful relief.

When Caden speaks again, he says, “It’s called masturbation.”

“Huh?”
What’s he talking about
?

“Your question. Girls masturbate just like guys, but they can’t exactly jerk off, you know? Anyway, if you do it right, you have an orgasm.”

“Did you—” we say at the same time.

“I think I did, Caden.”

I did. I totally did. HOLY SHIT I HAD AN ORGASM
! And I sounded way hotter than that awful porn-star lady.

“So did I,” Caden says.

“Wow. I can’t believe we—”
Wait, no
.
No. No. No. No
.
I
had an orgasm with Caden.
We
had an orgasm at the same time.
Like phone sex
. We had phone sex. And I thought a kiss would change things?
This is so bad
.

“Jillian?”

“Yeah?” I whimper, sure he’s already realized how much I screwed things up by letting something crazy happen between us. Again.

“Have you ever done that before?”

“Umm, no.”

He doesn’t sound upset
.

“I’m glad your first time was with me.”

Maybe we will be okay.

First friends. First kisses. First orgasm.

What’s next?

C
urious about what
happened
in the treehouse
? You can read Jillian, Caden and James’ debut short story, First Kisses. Available on limited retail outlets.

Dina Littner is a new romance author. Her stories tend to be awkward and they’re sometimes about sex, so this anthology was a natural fit.

Dina’s first full-length novel ~
Through an Open Door
(Impossible Choices Series Book 1) ~ will release in late 2016. What happens when a happy marriage falls apart through an open door leading to Room 2 of the River Point Spa? Lin Buchanan has a plan, and it includes protecting Caden and James, her college age sons from their father’s indiscretion.

Dina gets excited when readers, bloggers, other authors, and well, basically anyone, reaches out to make friends. She’s all over social media, so find her, follow her and friend her. She’s wicked cool. And corny. Yeah.

D
rew Forrester couldn’t help
but smile as he dressed in his wardrobe for the day’s scene. He had a great fucking morning. After sparring with his best friend and trainer, Damien, he had a hot round of mind-blowing sex with his girl Sydney. Drew smiled to himself. He purposely skipped a shower this morning before heading to the studio for today’s filming.

Nice and nasty and ripe as a pile of garbage.

Serves that bitch Kiera Radcliff right if I reek like sex and sweat and filthy sparring pads for this awkward as fuck sex scene we’re filming today. I know she’s the one that’s been leaking lies to the tabloids and pushing the studio to put a fake relationship with her into my publicity contract.

Drew thought about Sydney and how much he loved her. No way would he ever agree to a pretend relationship with Kiera to promote the film, even if was fake. Just the fact that it was Kiera—something about the stunning blonde actress made him think she wasn’t right in the head. There was something off about her, nothing obvious, but she made Drew incredibly uncomfortable.

Plus, Kiera fucked with Sydney at an important club opening in March and Drew almost lost her. That alone made it almost unbearable for him to work with Kiera on a daily basis without wanting to shout in her self-righteous fucking face.

There was a quick knock on Drew’s dressing room door before his assistant, Jane, poked her head in. “Just about ready?”

Drew lifted his hand to drag it through his hair. At the last second he remembered he already sat in makeup for an hour and his hair was styled for the shoot. Frustrated, he dropped it back into his lap.

With a pained sigh, Drew answered. “No I’m not ready. Shit, Jane. I don’t want to do this.”

The small, older woman shuffled in and closed the door behind her. She dropped onto the couch next to Drew and rubbed his back. “Nervous?”

“Ha!” Drew laughed sarcastically, “Hardly. I just…” he exhaled loudly. “I don’t want to do this. The thought of having to touch her,” He shuddered. “She’s a bitch and she freaks me out.”

“Well, it is your job,” Jane said matter of factly. “And,” she leaned in, sniffed loudly, and her face contorted in revulsion. “Kiera won’t want to be anywhere near you. You might be one of the best looking men I’ve ever seen, but Drew, you stink.”

Drew grinned, looked Jane in the eye, and winked. “That’s the point.”

Jane threw her head back and laughed along with Drew.

“You are so bad!” She pushed his shoulder playfully.

The light moment gave Drew the minimum amount of strength needed to get up, leave his dressing room, and head for the set.

By the time Drew reached the makeshift bedroom and laid eyes on the rumpled bed where he was supposed to ‘make love’ to Kiera’s character, nausea burned a hole in his insides. Drew wiped his slick palms on his pants, praying the sweat didn’t leave stains on the fabric.

Wardrobe will kill me if I mess my costume up before we’ve even started filming.

Shit, Drew wished he could see Sydney right now. He desperately wanted her here to keep him calm, but it was beyond selfish to ask his girlfriend to be on set while he filmed a love scene with a woman who had made Sydney’s life miserable.

Besides, if I had to watch Sydney mess around with another guy, fuck, I’d lose my goddamn mind.

A hand gripped Drew’s arm and he flinched, twisting around to see who laid their hands him. Of course. Drew rolled his eyes and took a steadying breath.

“Kiera,” he said coldly. Drew had told her dozens of times that he didn’t like to be touched, yet she continued to ignore him, forcing herself into his personal space again and again. Her advances were really beginning to piss him off.

Drew reached down and plucked Kiera’s hand from his arm. Carelessly, he pushed it to her side. Kiera sneered in anger, her pretty face twisting into a hideous grimace for a blink and you missed it moment before her phony smile was back in place.

The woman all but purred and rubbed against me like a cat in heat. “Andrew, if you won’t let me touch you, how are we going to get through this scene?”

Copious amounts of alcohol?

Drew suppressed what he really wanted to say. No matter how he felt, he would have to do his best to remain professional. Well, except for smelling like chum that sat in the hot sun for half a day. Drew bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t laugh in her face.

“That’s for work, Kiera. You know I don’t like to be randomly touched.” Drew gnashed his teeth in annoyance.

“By fans, Andrew. I thought you didn’t like being touched by fans. I’m… well, I’m me. Surely you don’t mind me touching you.” She fluttered her eyelashes. How she thought anything she said or did would change his mind, Drew didn’t know. The woman was delusional.

“No Kiera, I don’t want to be touched by anyone who doesn’t have permission… from me.” He gave Kiera a stern look. She smirked so Drew spun on his heel and stalked away before he said something stupid. “Dan!” Drew called out to the director. “What’s our schedule? Are we starting soon or what?”

I need to get this shit over with and shower off the filth, and I don’t mean the sweat and sex.

“Yes, get ready okay? It should only be another five,” Dan said. The director adjusted something on his screen and turned to chat with the assistant director.

Frustrated, Drew unbuttoned the shirt that he threw on over his microscopic wardrobe and tossed it aside. The only things he was wearing were loose tan cargo pants and the ridiculously uncomfortable modesty patch, aka ‘cock sock’, underneath.

“Clear the set! Places!” the AD called out.

Drew inhaled, cracked his neck, and put on his Andrew Forrester acting mask. He refused to let the entire crew see how miserable the thought of touching Kiera made him.

I’m a professional fucking actor. I can do this. I’ve done dozens of love scenes.

He went to the side of the bed and waited while most of the crew vacated the set. In his head, Drew went over the different shots and angles they had to get along with his lines.

Out of nowhere, Kiera sauntered up next to Drew. She already shed her robe and was only wearing a tiny satin nightie. The crew made sure to crank down the a/c on days they filmed love scene since it got incredibly hot under the lights. Because of the cold temperature on set, it was clearly obvious that Kiera wasn’t wearing her required pasties.

Jesus, it literally never ends with this psycho.

“Dan!” Drew called out and waved the director over.

He hustled to the set. Dan wouldn’t want to waste time, but he knew that my happiness was paramount to getting his all of his shots in without any delays.

“Yes Andrew?” Dan asked. He gave me a placating smile that made me want to punch him upside the head.

Drew stabbed my thumb in Kiera’s direction. He refused to give her the satisfaction of looking at her.

“Dammit, Dan. She’s not in full wardrobe. There are no nude breast shots in the scene, so why aren’t her patches on? Is this not a professional movie set or are we doing porn?”

Dan’s mouth dropped open and his eyes flicked over to Kiera’s chest. Her protruding nipples proved my point to the director.

He squirmed uncomfortably. “Ummmm, uh, Kiera, you can’t expect us to… ummmm.”

Fuck professionalism.

A Hollywood director with as many films under his belt as Dan should be able to control any situation.

“Jesus Dan, I’ll say it.” Drew spun to face the crazy actress. He was getting more and more pissed by the minute. “Go back to your dressing room and get wardrobe to put your goddamn pasties on, Kiera. This isn’t a porno and I’m not in the mood for your bullshit.”

Kiera gave Drew a knowing smile. Her mouth pulled up on one side, as if mocking him.

“Dan, remember? We spoke about this. I’m allergic to adhesive. It’s in my contract.” Kiera shot Drew a cocky look, one eyebrow arched, and satisfaction clearly written all over her smug face.

If my face is as red as I think it is, it’ll be another hour before I calm down enough to appear on camera.

“You manipulative bitch,” Drew began. His hands curled into fists at his sides.

Dan stepped between the two actors and pushed Drew back with a hand to Drew’s chest.

“Andrew, she’s right. It’s in her contract.”

“And no one thought I needed to be aware of that?” he roared. He didn’t give two shits who heard him at this point. Dan shrugged, it wasn’t his problem that Drew didn’t like it and the director knew it. Drew was trapped. Everyone on the set was waiting to begin and not wanting to be in contact with a beautiful woman’s tits wasn’t going to be a good enough excuse to hold up production.

“Fuck!” Drew shouted. He spun away from Kiera to calm down.

Dan came up behind him and gave his back a manly slap.

“Dude, it’s going to be fine. They’re just breasts, right?” Drew heard Dan sniff. “And by the way, you need a fucking shower, you reek.”

Dan jogged back to his place behind the screens and cameras. “Places!” The A.D. called out.

Drew turned to face Kiera. He gave her his own evil grin.

“Ready to get up close and personal with the real Andrew Forrester?” Drew jogged in place, then dropped to the floor and did twenty push-ups to work up a nice sheen of sweat. When he was done, the rank smell wafted up, surrounding him… and man, it wasn’t pretty.

He edged up to Kiera’s side and angled his body until the actress was nice and close to his underarms, where the smell was the worst. Drew could tell the second his stink hit her. Her nose wrinkled in disgust and she took a step back.

Leaning down, Drew whispered in the conniving bitch’s ear, “You’re not the only one with tricks up your sleeve, Kiera. Enjoy.”

The horror on her face made everything we were about to do worth it.

Let the games begin.

“Action!”

Drew recited his lines and crossed the room. He pulled Kiera into his arms and almost broke character when her nostrils flared. She looked like she was choking down a gag.

Good.

“I’ve missed you so much, baby. Please. It’s my last night in town. I need you.” Drew ran his hands down the sides of Kiera’s satin nightgown.

“I-I…” Kiera inhaled and Drew nearly burst out laughing when her eyes bulged.

Oh yeah, get a good whiff. You wanted me? You got me.

“Cut!”

Dan stalked over and pulled Kiera to the side. Drew turned his back to them and chuckled. The woman could barely get her lines out he smelled so bad.

“No Kiera, we can’t do this tomorrow. We have two hours to finish this scene.” Dan backed up to speak to both of them. “I expect professionalism from my actors. Enough of the petty crap. Deal with your shit and do your goddamn jobs.” The director stomped back to his seat.

Drew smirked at Kiera’s put out look. When she finally managed to spit out her lines, Drew grabbed the hem of her lingerie and pulled it over her head, making sure his armpit was nice and close to her nose. He caught her swallowing down another gag and internally cheered.

“Oh god, baby. You feel so good.” Drew kissed her, struggling not to gag himself.

He pushed her down on the bed and unbuttoned his pants. They dropped to the floor. Kiera stared up at him from the bed and licked her lips. They were both naked except for his cock-sock and her nearly transparent panties. Kiera licked her lips and recited her lines, but Drew knew she was checking him out.

Easy to do when I’m too far to smell, sweetheart.

He crawled onto the bed and laid his body on top of hers. Drew braced his elbows on either side of Kiera’s head as written in the scene. She was completely surrounded by his body odor.

“Oh god!” Kiera shouted, and it wasn’t in pleasure.

She shoved him off with a hand to his chest and leapt from the bed, retching.

“Kiera, is there a problem?” Dan dropped his headset and glared at my co-star.

Eyes wide, Kiera looked from Dan to the few other people in the room. When she realized no one was going to help her out or give her any sympathy, she fixed her expression and stood tall.

“I’m fine, Dan.”

“Good. Start from your last line, Drew.”

Kiera climbed back into the bed. Drew could feel her trembling beneath him. She was struggling to control her gag reflex. Drew grinned down at her and she shot him a furious look. He leaned down and whispered in her ear low enough that the boom mike wouldn’t pick it up.

“You wanted this, Kiera. I hope you enjoy every fucking minute of it, because I plan on using the entire two hours to torture you.”

“I hate you,” she hissed.

Drew smiled. “Now I have everything I ever could have wanted.”

She was still glaring when Dan called out.

“Action!”

I
like to write angsty
, dark stories with a side of humanity. When I’m not spinning tales of the tortured and famous, I’m a full time procrastinator. I love chocolate, dogs with squished in faces, and the Boston Red Sox.