Fated: Karma Series, Book Three (15 page)

Murphy’s words, although aggravating me more, seemed to have the opposite effect on Knox. He looked up and over like he was surprised we had an audience. I watched as the fight drained from him, and he made some excuse about having to go in the office for something or other.

Fate watched him leave, looking satisfied enough with the departure to not pursue him. He pulled out his phone, which part of my brain had realized had been ringing for quite some time, then shoved it back in his pocket.

He looked at me, all our unresolved issues hanging in the air between us. “I have to go.”

I shrugged. “So go.”

He stood there for a couple more seconds before he finally turned and left without saying another word to any of us.

The living room emptied out pretty quickly now that the show was over, leaving only Luck, Murphy and me.

Luck punched Murphy in the arm. “Murphy, I can’t believe you said that before. They all heard you and it was so uncomfortable they left.”

“You’re right, Luck.” Murphy cleared his throat and his next words came out considerably louder. “Karma, I’m sorry I said that. It’s not your fault you’re stupid sometimes. You can’t help it.”

She sighed loudly at him. “No, you’re the stupid one. What are we supposed to do now? There’s nothing on TV.”

There they sat on the couch, each with a cup of tea in their hands and some cookies on the table in front of them.

“What is going on here?” I said, motioning to the snacks. No TV playing in the background, just the two of them sitting and waiting for a show that didn’t air on cable.

“I know,” Luck said, making me think that she felt some shame about them using my life as a spectator sport, until she continued. “But whoever went shopping bought the wrong popcorn.” She shrugged.

Murphy nodded his head as he tapped his watch. “I have to agree. Even when the world is falling apart, you need to have standards to live by.”

“Get up,” I said to the two of them.

“Why? Are we going to go follow him into the office?” Luck asked, clearly intrigued by the possibility of more show time. Murphy’s animated head nodded vigorously in encouragement.

I sighed but didn’t bother to correct them. That was who they were and, as much as it annoyed me at times, they were my family. “No. We’re going out.”

Two disappointed ohs came out in unison.

“I guess if the show’s over,” Luck said. “Plus
she’s
upstairs in my room.”

Murphy let out a prolonged sigh. “I didn’t have any other plans, did you?”

Luck shook her head. “No. I guess we should go.”

It was after midnight when we got back from the dive bar Luck, Murphy and I went to. I’d chosen to frequent many of them in the recent past but it hadn’t been a deliberate choice this time around. There hadn’t been much of a selection of places to pick from. Most of the respectable establishments had shut down or were only opening during the daylight hours, when things were a notch calmer. The places open at night catered to the seediest crowds and you paid a premium to be in such esteemed company.

Tonight might have been the first time ever that Luck hadn’t found herself a boy toy she wanted to take home. It wasn’t for lack of trying. She’d been armed to the teeth with her best red lipstick and highest heels but the selection had been dismal and not up to even her low standards.

The stench from the foul karma people had been throwing off choked me almost as badly as the shots of cheap tequila I had thrown back. Still, Luck and Murphy stuck it out there with me until the wee hours of the morning. I’d needed some time away from the tension of the house, and Murphy was having a good time furthering the woes of our fellow customers, while Luck enjoyed watching.

Luck and Murphy stumbled their way upstairs once we got back as I headed toward Fate’s room—now mine. Even though I’d resented being put on the spot, I was glad I wasn’t walking past a room Fate was sharing with Mother.

My hand hesitated on the knob but not for long. Even with the argument today, I always wanted to see him. Too much so.

I pushed open the door to an empty room and looked at the clock on the table. Two a.m. and he wasn’t here.

I got ready for bed as I listened for the door. I crawled under the covers and lay there, watching the minutes tick by. Two thirty. Maybe between telling him I didn’t want to stay with him and our fight earlier, he’d finally given up.

This was what I’d wanted. I pulled a pillow over my head to block my sight and deaden my ears, forcing myself to stop waiting. It didn’t matter if he showed or not. In fact, it was good if he didn’t.

I threw the pillow to the side and got up, walked a few steps. Maybe I should check and see if Luck was okay since she drank a lot. It’s not like I cared if Mother was in her bed or anything.

No. If that was what he wanted, then it would never have been worth anything anyway. I knew eventually he would tire of wanting me. It was for the best. Getting attached as much as I already had wasn’t good. I wasn’t even sleeping with him and I was becoming a clingy mess. I turned around and got back in my bed again.

Fuck him. He was a dick. Who cuddles with someone every night and then disappears because of a couple fights? Cuddle and dump might be worse than a one-night stand. This was harder than when he’d asked me if I was still planning on leaving after we had sex. No, this might even be worse than when he stole my piece of birthday cake. God, he’d been such a dick to me. Come to think of it, I didn’t know why I was speaking to him at all.

Fate? No—Dick. That was his new name. He’d see who didn’t give a shit next time I saw him.

***

“You’re looking kind of tired,” Fate said the next morning.

“Nope. I slept like a baby, better than I have in weeks.”
Dick.

We stood, side by side, about fifty feet from the entrance of the local supermarket that I’d shopped in less than a month ago, when it had been brand new. I’d been so excited to have a new market, free of all sorts of human reminders left over from my mortal days. I’d go in and not have to pretend that I didn’t know the cashier at the checkout or that I didn’t know the manager played poker with my dad on Thursday evenings, that I hadn’t babysat the kid collecting the carts from the parking lot.

Now I stood there, forcing myself to look at the transformation. One of the front windows had been knocked out completely, and a steady stream of people were going in and out through the gap like it was the main entrance to a store on a Black Friday sales bonanza.

How things had fallen so quickly was baffling to me. They were still human beings—unlike the bastard next to me, who I wanted to hit over the head with the hilt of the gun strapped to my ankle. Malokin was like a virus spreading through the human race, or maybe he was simply the by-product of a world heading downward that fed his birth. It was hard to know which came first, just that a coincidence this strong wasn’t usually chance.

Either way, this was what life was now, and if we needed supplies, that’s where we had to go. I glanced over at Fate, keeping a stony expression plastered on my face.

I’d woken up as alone as I’d gone to sleep. He’d been up and as cheery as a cherry on an ice cream sundae this morning. He was having coffee and saying something about how we needed to make a run today and some bullshit about how I had to be the one to go with him. I guess he liked variety. He’d have to look somewhere else if he thought he was going to add me to the mares on his carousel.

“Ask.” He let out a disgruntled sigh and I wondered if my mask had slipped. “God, if I’d known you were going to be like this, I would’ve left a note.”

He was annoyed? I wanted to ask him if being a dick and bed hopping inconvenienced him but then he’d know it bugged me for sure instead of assuming. “Ask what? I don’t have any questions.” Not for him. Not anymore. Every question and doubt had been answered last night, confirming everything I’d thought when the philandering pig who insisted I stay in his room did a no show.
Cuddling dick
.

I took a step forward and he wrapped a hand around my upper arm.

“I’m sorry you missed the memo, but I’ve struck manhandling from my list of acceptable behaviors.” I looked down my nose at the offending hold, “If you wouldn’t mind?”

“How did you plan on enforcing this new list of rules?” he asked, offending hand still in place.

“If you were a gentlemen, like some others I know, I wouldn’t need to enforce it.” I let the implication of Knox hover in the air, waiting to see if it would hit the target.

His jaw clenched and his grip firmed. I’d call that a bull’s-eye.

“Ask.”

I turned away from him. He could keep me standing in this parking lot all day and night. I still wouldn’t ask. “I told you. I don’t care.”

“That’s it? You don’t even ask? You know, I knew you had a lot of pride but don’t you think this is a bit ridiculous?” he asked, his hand not budging from my arm.

“I haven’t the foggiest idea of what you’re referring to,” I replied, refusing to even look at him.

“Fine. I’ll tell you anyway, since someone needs to save you from your whopping ego.”

“
My
ego?”

“I was at Lars’s last night. They had a problem over there.”

He dropped his hand. It was probably because he couldn’t achieve the smug look he was going for without being able to add the final touch of crossing his arms in front of his chest.

His hand was no longer forcing me to stay there and listen; I was forced to stay of my own volition. But damned if I’d make it that easy. “You could be making it up.”

“That’s the best you’ve got?” He raised his eyebrows while managing to squint his eyes at the same time.

He wouldn’t be able to pull off a lie like that with the way our co-workers gossiped. If he’d been with Mother last night, someone would have been spilling the beans by morning. I would have heard about it over breakfast. I could hear them now,
Can you pass the bacon, Fate slept with Mother and I’d like the syrup as well.

I shrugged in acknowledgment as the toe of my boot sent a pebble flying. “I didn’t ask because it wasn’t a big deal either way.”

“I could tell. I love listening to the music so loud that I can’t hear my voice.”

Every time he’d tried to speak on the way over, I’d turned the volume on the radio up a couple of notches. My back to him, I looked at the supermarket because I had this goddamn smile trying to burst out on my face and it was stubbornly fighting all resistance. A subject change before he caught onto how relieved and giddy I was feeling wasn’t a bad idea. This was pathetic. It was like dying had set me back ten years of emotional maturity, right smack into the awkward teens again.

“I just don’t get it. How’s Malokin making everyone crazy?” It was a stupid question, in the sense that Fate didn’t have any more answers than I did. I knew he didn’t. We’d discussed this several times. But it didn’t matter, because that wasn’t the point. I had to get us back on work talk.

Unfortunately, I was worried the smile on my face tainted the tone I’d asked in. It was a somber question and I’d made it sound like I’d asked for my favorite flavor of ice cream. Hopefully he hadn’t noticed that my question about world disorder sounded a lot like the way I’d say
can I have extra whip and rainbow sprinkles
.

“That question is really eating you up.” I’d never heard Fate quite so sarcastic.

I put my hands to my cheeks, trying to manually pull the smile down. “It is.” Nah, that couldn’t have sounded as weird as I thought.

I heard Fate shuffling things around as he grabbed several duffle bags before he started walking toward the place. He was moving forward into the store. Back to death and destruction. Oh good, comfortable footing again.

The awkwardness was past, along with the honest moment. A lot of those seemed to be slipping by lately, with my encouragement, and I was starting to get sad about watching them go. But I still wasn’t ready to try and stop them leaving. I always had the excuse of unfortunate timing to fall back on.

I watched his back and the surroundings sucked up all my attention again. Destruction had a tendency to ground you in reality when it was smacked in your face.

He stopped and turned back to see I hadn’t moved. His eyes narrowed as he took in my still form.

I shook my head. “I don’t know about this.”

I’d spent years of my life defending criminals but always holding myself to a higher standard. Was I really going to contribute to a business being looted? Nothing about it felt right.

“Do you know the last time I had to do my own shopping? At least this is something you’re used to doing.” He pushed the sliding duffle bag back onto his shoulder.

“I’m not talking about shopping. I’m not comfortable contributing to this.” I pointed at the store.

He pointed toward our destination. “At this point, it’s either loot or don’t eat. I’ve had to not eat before. We won’t die but it sucks. As far as stealing, I’m going to send the corporation that owns this store a nice check as soon as the postal service is up and running again. I’ll round up if it makes you feel better but I’m eating tonight.”

I gripped my own duffle bag and forced myself to follow him. Those were terms I could live with.

“Stay close to me,” he said, as we headed toward the broken window.

“You have seen me fight, right?” I wasn’t a slouch when it came to hand to hand combat, as I’d proved in the past.

“Stay close anyway,” he repeated, and I knew what scene his mind was replaying. The almost rape. Why was it I could walk around kicking ass for months but get overpowered one time and I was the weak loser? Reputations suck like that. Hell to build and so easy to destroy.

“You know, there was something off about that guy. He was really strong. These are only scattered humans. Not even a true mob.” Not like what I’d seen heading down the beach the other night. It had been a group of twenty or so. They’d taken one look at Fate, machinegun in hand, and had kept walking.

Although word was getting around, even with the crazies, that there was a gang of three thirteen-year-old boys that liked to use pedestrians as target practice. They aimed to miss but they weren’t great shots. Our block was getting more and more peaceful.

“They aren’t a mob right now but in times like these, you don’t take anything for granted.” What he didn’t say was
like how I let you walk into a convenience store alone
.

I knew it was eating him up, because he felt some strange responsibility for me, so I let the subject drop. I didn’t care for the reminder myself.

We stepped over the low clearing of the empty window frame. The building was worse inside than I’d imagined.

“This is horrible.” People were dashing in here and there, grabbing foodstuff that they thought would last and getting out before a real gang showed up. Everyone who saw us walked in the other direction. I sometimes found it amazing how, after so many years of living in a civilized society, people still instinctually knew a threat.

“I know. It’s worse than a weekend.” Fate sounded disgusted for his own reasons. He moved confidently through the aisles, clearly more irritated about having to shop for himself at all than the manner in which he was being forced to do it. “I can’t believe my shopper disappeared. It’s impossible to get good help anymore.”

I grabbed a jar of kosher dills and put them in my bag, wondering if we should’ve searched for a cart.

“What happened yesterday with Paddy?” he finally asked. I’d been waiting for him to revisit the subject since I’d seen him.

“Nothing much new to report other than your relatives are crazy. As to that, are we talking cousins? Siblings?”