Fated: Karma Series, Book Three (11 page)

“You killed my men.” Malokin’s voice, sounding guttural and nothing close to human, shook the walls of the house.

I was jumping to my feet before I was fully awake and thankful for the sweatpants and t-shirt I’d worn to bed.

“Stay put.” Fate had beaten me out of the bed and was already at the door.

I grabbed the gun I’d left on the side table and ran out right after him.

Everyone in the house was heading into the living room, colliding in the predawn darkness. Luck was wearing a flimsy red thing that I guess would be considered lingerie. Mother had on some flowing diaphanous white ordeal that practically fluttered around her as she walked.

“Where did that come from?” Murphy said, still in the process of tying his smoking jacket.

Fate was suddenly deadly still as he stared through the back doors onto the beach. “He’s out there. No one leave this house. No matter what.” Fate caught Knox’s attention and received a nod in return.

Now they were best buddies? I didn’t understand the sudden cohesion between them but it didn’t matter; I wasn’t staying behind and I had a strong feeling that Fate’s order was meant specifically for me.

Fate made for the door, me glued to his side every step of the way.

He stopped, hand on the knob. “Stay here.”

“Why? This has more to do with me than you. Maybe
you
should stay in here?”

His eyes shifted behind us before he said softly, “You know why.”

And then there was that vision of me, throat slit, which was always there between the two of us. “The only difference between us is we don’t know what happens to you. Don’t be so sure you aren’t sharing the same end.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Unless you can say, with one hundred percent certainty that you’re going to live, which I
know
you can’t, I’m going out there.” My eyes shifted to Malokin, where he stood on the beach waiting.

“You are so—”

“Right?” I asked, my hands coming to my hips.

“Not the word I was planning on using,” he said, sounding more frustrated than anything.

“But still the correct choice.”

He hesitated a few seconds while assessing me, surveyed Malokin on the beach, and finally capitulated, pushing the door open but not without a last order. “Stay within twenty feet of the house. It’s protected.”

I followed him out onto the deck.

“Got it.” I hesitated for a split second. “Math wasn’t my strong point. Where would you say twenty feet ends about?”

He looked over at me as if he were debating dragging me back into the house.

“Everyone has a weak point. It’s not like we’re going to be doing geometry in the sand for a math off.”

“You are not making me feel better about this.”

I looked out onto the beach, where Malokin was lethally quiet and staring at us like he wanted to rip us limb from limb. “I didn’t know there was a way to feel better about the homicidal maniac on the beach but if you’ve got some secret info, please share.”

Fate looked at Malokin, then the door back to the house.

“Not. A. Chance,” I said, putting every ounce of steel I was feeling into those three words, making it clear this was a line he shouldn’t cross. He was overbearing and bossy in a lot of his ways, and I let him get away with more than any other person I’d ever known and I didn’t even know why. I still wasn’t sure if it was because I had this incredible attraction to him or if he’d been the one person, since I’d started this new life, who had stuck by me over and over again when it mattered, with no regard for the risk to himself.

“Fate, I’m not the type to sit back and wait. Don’t ask me to be something I can’t.” I didn’t tell him that if he did decide to try and drag me back in the house, I’d be furious but I’d forgive him. I wasn’t sure there was anything I wouldn’t forgive him at that point.

But he didn’t need to know that because I’d have a fight on my hands.

“Don’t go farther than me.”

“That I can agree to.”

Once I started walking, and my eyes met Malokin’s, any fear I was harboring disappeared.

Malokin stood at the edge of the ocean, the pants of his fine suit and shoes getting drenched every time the waves rolled in but he didn’t seem to care. He reached out his arms and bellowed a scream that pierced the air and sent a group of thugs further down the beach scurrying in the opposite direction.

All I wanted was to get closer. The anger was boiling in me and the more I looked at him, the more the memories filled me. I hadn’t realized I was capable of hate of this magnitude until now.

It might have been what Malokin desired. He fed on hate. Even now, I could see him take a deep breath, as if I was feeding his very being. I didn’t care. I had plenty to fuel us both. It was thick, ran deep, and was so consuming it was shutting down every other emotion that existed.

The angrier I got, the calmer Malokin seemed to become and I knew I was the reason. I couldn’t make it stop, or maybe I didn’t want to.

Malokin took a step forward, looking only at me and disregarding Fate. “I knew you had this within you. If you come with me, I’ll leave here; I’ll leave them alone.”

“I’m going to rip you apart, maul you until you don’t resemble—”

“Karma, get inside,” Fate barked out from beside me.

Fate sounded…weird. I vaguely registered that he’d switched gears somehow. His voice was almost brutal in its intensity. I didn’t care. Something within me had clicked and I wasn’t leaving this beach until Malokin was in pieces at my feet.

“Karma.” Fate again. My name from his lips was a final warning but I didn’t understand his problem, nor did I care. I just wanted him to shut up and stay out of my way.

I took a few more steps, not caring whether I was past the twenty feet from the house or not, my hatred still building steadily. I felt the light touch my eyes and I did nothing to hold it back. I could feel the Universe’s energy bubbling around me, as chaotic as I felt and yet I did nothing to tamp it down. I fed it.

Malokin was smiling and I was about to destroy him. My fists clenched in anticipation of ripping his flesh from his bones with my bare hands.

And then Fate was in front of me, blocking my path, and I struggled to get around him. He carried me back to the house as Malokin’s laughter rang in the air, taunting me, and I wanted to rip Fate apart for dragging me away from him.

He carried me through the house, past everyone as they stepped out of our way. Through the blur of rage I thought they looked shocked but it was hard to think past the emotions boiling within me. We were in the garage before he released me.

The minute he set me on my feet I turned on him. “Why did you do that? I could have had him, right then and there. All this would’ve been over but you stopped me,” I screamed, my hands still in fists and looking to connect with his face.

He grabbed my wrists, forcing them to my sides.

“Look at me,” he said.

Anger boiled within me for no reason now as I met his stare.

“Think, Karma.” He shook me. “You weren’t breaking him; he was breaking you.”

His hands pulled me into his embrace when I would’ve pulled away. One hand rubbing down my back, and with each stroke, a tiny bit of rational thinking eased back into my mind.

I started shaking as I realized how badly I’d just lost myself. I was on the beach one second and then I’d barely known where I was. I’d seen nothing but red.

“How did that happen?” I ran both hands through my hair and then left them there, cupping my head, as I tried to figure out what I’d just done.

“I don’t know but it can’t happen again. He feeds off of you. When he does that he’s stronger than me, and I’m not sure you understand the implications of that, but it’s bad.”

Riotous amounts of knocking sounded from the closed garage door. I met his eyes and nodded, letting him know I was normal again before I took a step back.

“Come in,” Fate said.

The Jinxes were tripping over themselves as they pushed through the door. We both looked at them, knowing they were here to tell us Malokin’s status and we didn’t have to wait long.

“That fucked up dude tried to follow you both into the house but got stuck and started spasming every time he tried to take another step,” Billy said.

“We know we aren’t allowed to shoot his ass,” Bobby added, “but we nailed him from the deck real good with some ketchup bombs we had saved up.”

“Should’ve seen those balloons hit! Red shit all over his fancy suit,” Buddy kicked in.

“Is he still out there?” I asked, now fearful of seeing him again.

“Nah, dude’s gone. Took off after the spasms and the bombs,” Bobby said. “So now what?”

The three of them looked at Fate and I like we had the answers. We said nothing.

The doors were locked when we got to the office building, and Fate pulled out a key I’d never seen. He jiggled it into a nearly rusted lock that looked like it had never been used.

Our footsteps echoed in the lobby, accentuating the creepy, empty feeling. No one was coming in anymore. There was no work and no purpose to report. The only purpose the building served now was as a target and this building didn’t have the same luxury of being warded by Lars.

The accountant, the only human occupant, had been told we had a roach problem that was going to need strong fumigation. The fact that he hadn’t even blinked an eye at that explanation just showed the dire need for some renovation.

If it hadn’t been for Jockey, we wouldn’t have been there either. He’d stayed behind with the Nightmares in their pasture, a place that wasn’t here or there. Jockey had been confident, for untold reasons, that he was perfectly secure. I was inclined to believe him. This was the only way we could gain access.

“You ready?” Fate asked, as he stopped in front of the entrance to the hallway that would lead to the Nightmares’ pasture.

I stepped forward and opened the door. It didn’t matter if I was ready or not. We needed any information we could get. Digging around in Malokin’s head was our best possibility of obtaining knowledge. It didn’t matter who you were or what you could do in the land of dreams; the Nightmares had free reign. No one could shut them out.

As soon as we entered the dark hallway, the wind picked up and so did the screaming. It was more intense than the last time I’d walked down this hall and was reaching a screeching crescendo that made me want to cover my ears. There were a lot of scary things happening in the world, and they were leaking into people’s dreams.

“Hurry up,” Fate said ushering me forward with hands on my waist from behind.

“What’s wrong with this place?” I asked as I moved forward, sensing something off as well.

“Not sure, but it doesn’t feel right.”

We reached the rustic barn door at the end and Jockey opened it before we had to knock. “Come in,” he said, ushering us with his hands.

His riding boots had lost some of their shine since the last time I’d seen him. A large scuff marked his riding helmet as if he’d taken a fall recently.

“Did you do something to the hallway?” I asked as Jockey was laying a large board across the door, and Fate was walking farther into the field and appraising the situation.

“Yes. But not to worry. You weren’t in there long enough to pick up any ill effects.” He grasped the handle, testing his barricade before stepping away.

“What did you do?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” he asked in his factual way.

I snorted quite unbecomingly. “Yeah, after you ask like that, I have to know.”

He didn’t even crack a smile as he started to explain. “Uninvited guests won’t have a very long life. There’s a reason you wake up before you die in a dream. Anyone who comes here unwelcomed won’t come again.”

The possibilities clicked instantly, and I wondered if things got bad enough to risk it, was that an easy way to do away with Malokin? “What about someone like Malokin?”

“No, I’m afraid not.
I
can’t, anyway. If he were to come to the hallway I could, or here in the pasture. This is my domain. But the dreams? I don’t have any control of those. The mares could but that’s not how they work. They stimulate nightmares but they don’t create them.”

“But could they?”

“They could but that isn’t something I would encourage, not to save fifty worlds would I do that. Some lessons can’t be unlearned.”

He was a heavy type of personality and his words were even weightier than normal. Nightmares spinning out of control and killing people? Enough said.

His eyes perused me as if I were horseflesh. “Rough night?”

I narrowed my eyes slightly. “You saw my dreams?”

“Occupational hazard. Unavoidable, at times.”

“Then you know they weren’t any worse than normal,” I replied, making it clear that was the end of the subject. I moved to catch up with Fate.

The field was exactly as I’d remembered; perpetual nighttime with dew laden grass shimmering the reflected light of the huge moon above. The mares, more than a dozen of them with gleaming pure black coats, were gathered on the tree lined field some distance away. One nickered nervously and the rest took up the call, shrill neighs ringing across the pasture.

“What’s wrong with them?” Fate asked as Jockey and I approached him.

“People are having some crazy dreams these days. It spills out onto them. They’re exhausted, rundown and on edge. If this weren’t important, I wouldn’t risk letting you come here. They’re not themselves.” Jockey stood looking at his herd with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “But I know it is. If there’s anything you can find that will help, it’s worth it.”

“What if he’s not sleeping?” I asked.

“Then you wait.”

***

The waiting didn’t turn out to be as horrible as I’d imagined. Jockey had a saddle blanket he lent us and went about caring for the mares, leaving Fate and I laying on our backs, staring up at the starriest sky I’d ever seen.

“Is that our moon? It’s so gigantic and it’s always night here.” The shadows formed the same face, making me think it was.

“Yes.”

“You sure?” I asked as we lay shoulder to shoulder.

“Yes. I’ve asked him.”

“Jockey?”

“No. The Man on the Moon.”

I instantly envisioned a man gleaming in silver grey who winked a lot. “Why haven’t I ever met him? Does he come in at all? I’ve never seen him at the office.”

“Because you’re new and he only comes by every couple of years.”

New; another word for transfer. It didn’t bother me the way it would have a month ago, not from him. Sometimes I felt like this Fate was a completely different person to the one I’d met when I first started.

“The other day, you said you never wanted this for me. Why did you want me gone so badly?” I asked and then waited, fearing the answer. What if he said he’d hated me or I was annoying?

“Because I know what the stakes are for us, our kind. The dangers and the pitfalls. I knew something bad was coming, and I didn’t want you to be in the middle of it. Our people, ones who weren’t transfers and were born to this life, were disappearing. Friends of mine, gone. I’d have coffee with them in the morning and they’d be gone by nightfall. If they couldn’t stay alive, I couldn’t imagine how you would when you were at a disadvantage.”

“Did you have to be such a dick about it? Couldn’t you have just said that?”
And perhaps not have crushed my feelings on a daily basis?

“You’re stubborn. I thought it would be more effective to make you miserable. I didn’t want to see you disappear like the others.”

He fell silent, as if it was still a touchy subject to him. It was the most human I’d ever seen him act.

I tilted my head to look at his profile. “Was it hard losing them?”

“Some were harder than others. The Karma before you, we were close. It’s different if you are born to this. In a human existence, you lose people suddenly for all different reasons. When it happens to us, it’s shocking,” his voice was softer and he didn’t look at me as he spoke but remained looking up at the stars.

“After that, how could you sit across the table from him and agree to a truce?” I didn’t think poorly of him for it but I couldn’t understand it, either.

“Because, in that moment, it was what I needed to do,” he answered. It was the answer I would’ve expected, and yet it contradicted what he’d done for me.

“It didn’t last very long anyway,” I said, thinking back to the scene in the convenience store that happened less than a week later. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

And there we were, like it had just happened, back to the same question and the same avoidance.

“Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

He finally turned and looked at me and there was a challenge in his eyes. “Is that what you’re saying? You’re ready to talk?”

Such innocent questions, and they froze me up quicker than anything that had ever been asked of me before. This whole time, I’d thought it had been a mutual avoidance. When had things changed? Was I now the one shutting down the lines of communication and he was playing along? At least when it came to the subject of us.

And still I couldn’t answer. I tried to make my brain work and my tongue move; I tried to get past the sheer panic that was gripping me more fiercely than anything I’d ever felt.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

He was disappointed in me, and I was shocked at how that disappointment in his voice seeped into me and saddened me in a way I hadn’t expected.

I still said nothing. Why couldn’t I simply tell him?
I like you with an intensity that scares the hell out of me.
After everything I’d been through, why was it so difficult? I could just say it. And then it would be out there.

And then I came full circle to the problem. What he’d say back. What he’d do. Looming rejection on a level I couldn’t cope with on top of everything else going on.

We needed to talk. There were things that had to be said, however it might turn out—but not now. I couldn’t deal with it right now. And I had the perfect excuse to blow the subject off as Jockey drove up in a buggy and we both sat up.

“A carriage?”

“Even I won’t ride them right now. I almost wasn’t able to harness her to this.” We stood and Fate grabbed the blanket to hand back to him.

Jockey shook his head and motioned for him to keep it. “It’s getting very cold there. You should bring it with you.”

We settled in and Fate laid the blanket over us.

“Whatever you do, don’t get out of the buggy, no matter how long it takes her to come back.”

I nodded, even as I became concerned about this little venture, and wondered if this was the best thing to be doing.

We took off at a much more hectic pace than the last time I’d gone for a ride. This time I was prepared for the ground to disappear and the dark tunnel of visions to pop up everywhere, like riding through the largest multiplex ever created without walls. We didn’t go very far before we were pulled into a nightmare. It was chaotic, people chanting and screaming all around and there, in the center of everyone, was Malokin. And me.

“Try and remember every face you see,” Fate said as we circled the group, all figments of Malokin’s mind.

The dream version of me stood there, docile in front of him. Like that would ever happen. The crowd jeered. Then Malokin’s knife was at my throat. The blade ran across my skin, setting off a spray of blood as it did. I collapsed on the ground, red pooling around me. It was the image Fate had seen or something so close it didn’t matter.

The carriage suddenly jerked around and the mare ran out of the dream as if the scene had spooked her as much as it had me. I turned, transfixed by the image of my death unfolding.

I didn’t turn back around until we were so far away from the horrific scene that it was only a speck in the blackness. But the image was still there, crystal clear in my mind. I felt Fate edge closer to me, silently offering me his support. Now we both knew what my death looked like.

The carriage stopped and everything had a surreal feeling to it. I had the fuzziest recollection of Jockey asking how it went and no notion of what Fate replied, although I knew he did.

I moved in a haze, step after step, unsure how I knew where I was going.

We barely made it out of the nightmare hallway before the panic attack set in full force. Years of being a defense attorney—judges yelling at me, jurors narrowing their eyes at me as if they couldn’t stand the sight of me—and not once had I had a panic attack. Now, one lousy dream and I couldn’t get enough air, no matter how deeply or rapidly I breathed.

My legs decided they’d had enough once we hit the office lobby and my back slammed into sheetrock before I slid down it. It was a dream. That was all.

I scanned the hall, looking for Fate and that’s when it hit me, right in the middle of my panic attack, how much I’d come to rely on him. Not great timing for a revelation like that; it notched my panic up another level of frenzy.

I’d deal with the implications of that later, after I’d reclaimed a respectable chunk of my sanity. Right now, I needed him to tell me it was going to be okay.

He was at the end of the hall, his back to me. “Fate?” My voice was pathetically weak and I detested the sound.

He didn’t move for a second and I called his name again, trying to sound a bit stronger this time. He turned as if it were the first time he’d heard me and then quickly walked toward me. He stopped in front of me and knelt down, resting on his haunches.

“Look at me,” he said, his hands cupped my face. “That will
not
happen to you. Do you hear me?”

It was his stubborn look that I knew so well. I nodded.