Fated (16 page)

"Lauren,"
Caden said softly. I looked over at him and he had lowered his camera. The
harsh angles of his face spoke of his desire, his amber eyes looking like they
were on fire as they bored into me. "Touch yourself for me."

I
couldn't deny his request since it was what I wanted myself. I reached down
with one hand as my other twisted my hard nipple that was aching to the point
of pain. When I reached my slickness, I rubbed my engorged clit, the
sensitivity of it making me cry out. My hips lifted of their own accord as I
stroked it feverishly. I was so wet that I could hear the sounds of my frantic
caresses as I was pushed closer and closer to the edge. I inserted a finger
inside myself, lubricating it even more before I concentrated on my clit again.
I could hear the heaviness of Caden's breathing, inciting me even more.

The
room was filled with the sounds of my whimpers and Caden's harsh breathing as I
brought myself closer to climax. My feet curled against the bed, my body almost
rebelling against the pleasure as much as it embraced it. My body tensed until
I felt so brittle that I thought I would shatter with a single touch. Just when
I thought I couldn't take anymore, my body bowed and I cried out as I
shuddered, my body undulating with wave after wave of intense pleasure. The
orgasm was so powerful that I lost all control, my hips arching off the bed and
my legs straining under the pressure.

I
slumped down onto the bed as the last tremor left me. I felt exhausted and
sated as I languidly looked over at Caden. His camera was lowered and his hand
was outstretched, just almost touching me. He dropped his hand when I turned
towards him, but he couldn't mask the almost feral look of desire darkening his
face.

I
was surprised he hadn't touched me. I couldn't help wondering if he had touched
his other models. I found myself feeling a little bereft by the thought, but I
pushed it away. This had been an amazing experience. I had never let myself go
to feel my sensual desires so freely. I would never forget this moment for the
rest of my life. The moment I realized that despite everything, I still had the
ability to feel wanton and sexual and not be ashamed of it. I was still a
woman.

That
didn't mean I wasn't a little embarrassed as the glow of my pleasure cooled. I
was lying on the bed completely naked while Caden watched me with a hungry look
on his face.

I
sat up and reached for my skirt on the floor.

"Wait."
Caden's voice made me look up at him. "Let me take a few more pictures of
you."

"I
don't know," I said hesitatingly. I smiled faintly at him. "Now that
I'm done, I'm realizing just how exposed I am."

Caden
nodded, but he looked disappointed. I felt an unfamiliar feeling rise inside of
me. For some reason, his disappointment pulled at me. I wavered, wondering if I
should let him take a few more pictures, but the modesty I had laid aside was
coming back with a vengeance, making me reach for my discarded clothes.

I
was acutely aware of Caden watching me as I dressed. I put everything back on
except for my panties. They were so soaked that I just crumpled them up into a
ball. I would shove them into my purse that I had left in the office.

I
felt awkward just standing there while Caden continued to stare at me. I tried
to laugh to lighten the mood, although I was surprised he wasn't the one trying
to make me feel more at ease. After all, this was a normal occurrence for him.

"Well,
that was a little more than I bargained for." My attempt at levity sounded
forced. I didn't know how to deal with the aftermath. I hadn't given much
thought on how awkward it would be afterwards. I had been too focused on the
actual event.

Caden
attempted to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. His face was strained
and he seemed to be having a hard time speaking.

"Did
you enjoy it?" His voice was gruff.

I
flushed with embarrassment but tried to keep the smile on my face. "I
thought that was pretty obvious."

Caden
closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. When he opened his
eyes, he smiled at me. "I guess so."

I
kept my eyes on his face, not wanting to look down at his erection straining
against his jeans. Either he was extremely turned on or he had been blessed by
Mother Nature. Maybe both.

I
didn't know what to do next, so I decided the only thing left to do was leave.
It felt weird to just walk out after such an intimate experience, but I didn't
know what else to do.

"Well,
I guess I'll see you on Monday." Oh God, how could I face him on Monday? I
didn't regret what had happened, but it was going to make the next two and a
half months supremely uncomfortable. I reminded myself that this was an
impersonal thing that Caden did all the time.

"Why
don't you come upstairs? I can make us something to eat."

Caden's
invitation was totally unexpected, and for a few moments I just stared at him.
Could I really casually eat a meal with him after what had just happened? A
voice inside my head told me that it would be wise to decline politely, but it
was drowned out by the rest of me that was eager to enter Caden's private
domain.

"Okay,"
I said, feeling a little breathless. I tensed when Caden put his hand on the
small of my back and guided me out of the studio. I had a feeling that whatever
was about to happen next would make what had just happened pale in comparison.

Chapter Eleven

The
second floor of Caden's townhouse was decorated in rich earth tones, simple yet
masculine. Caden led me into the living room and I admired the warm furnishings
and clean lines. He gestured to the sofa and I obligingly sat down.

"Do
you want a glass of wine?"

I
looked up at Caden. He seemed almost unsettled. The desire I had seen in his
eyes was masked, and he just had a polite look of inquiry on his face. It was
the fact that he was trying so hard to look nonchalant that tipped me off.

"Sure,
that sounds good." I tried to match his casual tone, but his forced
composure was making me jittery.

I
looked around the room as Caden went into the kitchen. It was impeccably designed,
but I noticed there were no pictures or personal affects. It was as coldly
impersonal as the apartment I had left behind in Chicago. I had seen a flight
of stairs when we had entered the foyer and I was dying to see the third floor,
but I doubted Caden would humor the request of a house tour. I had to rein
myself in at the thought. Did I really want to know more about this enigmatic
man? Unfortunately, the answer was a resounding yes. Even though I knew it was
a smart idea to distance myself from him in light of what had just happened, I
was helplessly drawn to him like a magnet.

Caden
strode towards me holding two glasses of red wine, handing one to me and
sitting down on the armchair perpendicular to the sofa. I couldn't help but
notice he didn't sit next to me. By his gesture, I would have thought his
interest in me had cooled now that he had gotten what he wanted, but that
didn't explain why he had invited me into his home.

"It’s
a shiraz,” he said, nodding towards the wine. “I'm heating up some lasagna. I
hope that's okay."

I
nodded, surprised at his domesticity. "That's fine. Did you make it?"

Caden
quirked his mouth, looking truly relaxed for the first time since the photo
shoot had ended. "No. I have meals delivered by a home delivery service.
It's kind of like a catering service, but for individuals."

The
wonders of New York never ceased to amaze me. You could wish for anything, and
somewhere in the city you'd find someone who was already catering to that niche
market.

"That's
nice," I said blandly. I took a sip of the wine, wanting to fortify
myself. This was almost more awkward than the photo shoot. There was no clear
purpose for me being here, and there was no camera between us. There was
nothing to obstruct Caden's intense amber eyes as he watched me.

"You
surprised me." He had a faint smile on his face. I smiled in return; a
genuine smile.

"I
surprised myself." I paused before continuing. I had to lay my concerns on
the table; otherwise, I doubted I could work for Caden anymore. "To say that
I've never done anything like that before would be an understatement. I
just...I want to make sure that it's not going to be awkward between us. I know
that this is nothing out of the ordinary for you, but it's going to take some
effort on my part to feel normal in the office."

Caden
set his wineglass on the table and sat back in his chair. He looked
contemplative, studying me for a few beats before speaking.

"Nothing
was ordinary about what just happened."

I
took a deep breath before replying. "What do you mean?"

Caden's
amber eyes gleamed as he spoke. "This wasn't just about a photographer and
his subject. I've never once come close to stepping over the boundaries, but
with you it took everything I had not to touch you."

My
insides quivered at his words, but I forced myself to remain calm. "You
mean, you've never touched one of your models before?"

"It's
not a question of whether I've touched one of my models before. The question is
whether I've
wanted
to touch one of my models before. And the answer is an unequivocal no. Until
you."

Caden's
seductive voice threatened to pull me under, but I forced my head above water.
"So you're telling me you've never touched any of your models
before?" I couldn't help sounding skeptical.

His
mouth twisted, but there was a tinge of humor to his voice. "I see you've
been listening to the gossip mill. As disappointed as some of my lurid fans may
be, I'm a photographer, not a porno maker. My photographs aren't meant to
simply titillate, although I have no problems with that effect. I find an
unequaled beauty in the female form at its peak, and I try to capture that.
Other than that, I remain completely detached from the subject."

I
could hardly ask the next question, but I forced myself to. "So why was
this different?"

Caden's
eyes darkened. "For the first time, the camera became a hindrance. I was
frustrated that it was between us. I have to admit that I stopped taking
pictures near the end. That's never happened before. All I could focus on was
you. I didn't want to be an impartial bystander as I watched you bring yourself
to orgasm. I wanted to be the one to bring you to climax."

It
became hard to breathe. I wanted to look away from his piercing stare, but I
felt transfixed by his gaze. I licked my dry lips before speaking, not knowing
what I was going to say before the words tumbled out of my mouth. "So why
didn't you?"

Caden's
eyes flared and his jaw tightened. "Did you want me to?"

"Yes."

Caden
almost growled as he came towards me, quickly moving from his armchair so that
he was sitting next to me on the sofa. I barely had time to register his
movement before his hand grasped the back of my head, pulling my face towards
him for a fierce kiss.

I
opened my mouth against his onslaught, the tenuous grip I had on my control
snapping. The experience of masturbating in front of Caden had stripped me of
most of my inhibitions, and now it felt natural to surrender to the desire that
hadn't been sated even with my orgasm. Because Caden hadn't been the one to
bring me to it.

There
was no gentleness in his kiss as he plunged his tongue into my mouth, urging my
tongue to mate with his. This didn't feel like just a kiss. It felt like a
declaration of intent; a message that a retreat wouldn't be allowed. But I had
already surrendered.

The
kiss grew wild as I pushed my tongue into his mouth. Caden's grip on my scalp
tightened as we spun out of control, kissing each other so ferociously that it
almost became painful, but I couldn't seem to get enough of him. A hunger had
been awakened like a fire, and it was threatening to consume me.

Caden
was the one to break the kiss, breathing harshly as his heavy-lidded eyes
stared down at me. I licked my lips, feeling how swollen they had become, yet
all I wanted to do was pull his head down to mine again.

"Lauren,
I want you." Instead of a declaration of seduction, Caden's words almost
sounded like a confession. I realized I wanted nothing more than to lose myself
in him. I had agreed to Caden photographing me because I wanted to discover a
woman who could feel desire and pleasure. I hadn't realized that it would
awaken a craving so fierce that nothing was as important as satiating that
hunger.

"I
want you too," I whispered.

Caden
hesitated before speaking again. "I don't want to hurt you."

I
shook my head, although I wasn't sure what he meant. "You won't."

His
mouth twisted. "I'm not a man who will confess his undying love to you
because we enjoy each other's bodies. I'm not a man who will wax poetic the
next morning about the wonders of soul mates. I'm a man who will give as much
pleasure as he takes, but that's where it ends. As much as I want you Lauren, I
don't want this to happen under false pretenses."