Fate Forsaken (15 page)

Right. Eldon.

Just the thought of him made her stomach turn, and she rubbed her sweaty palms on her shirt. She set the can on the countertop and glanced up at Preshea. “I really messed up this time, didn’t I?”

Preshea settled her hands on her hips as she stared down at Rho. “Epically.”

Rho gulped. “You think he’ll forgive me?” She wasn’t sure why Preshea’s opinion mattered, but it did.

“I think that’s between you and him.” Staring off into the distance, Preshea’s expression turned thoughtful. “But yeah. You two are…really good together.”

Rho glanced down at the death mark on her forearm. “I used to think so, too.” She still wouldn’t take back her decision to accept this mark. That was one regret she’d never have.

Preshea interrupted her thoughts. “Things are only as bad as you let them get. Stop being stubborn.”

“Can’t help it.”

They both chuckled. Rho took a drag on her coffee as Preshea gulped down more caffeinated sugar water.

“Can I ask you something?” Rho glanced over at Preshea, a little surprised by the question burning her lips. Now seemed as good a time as any.

“That’s a little ominous.”

“What’s up with you and Tim?” The question rushed out of Rho’s mouth in a breath. And why had she never asked sooner? Then again, she’d never really talked to Preshea like this before. Woman to woman. Friend to friend.

Preshea blushed as her gaze fell to the ground and she ran a hand through her shaggy, striped hair. “Uh, nothing. Why would you ask?”

“Now it’s my turn to call bullshit.”

Preshea snapped her head up, her eyes wide.

“Oh,
please,
” Rho said. “I remember the way he hugged you at the Winter Solstice Ball. The way you smiled.” Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen Preshea smile like that since.

“We’ve been busy…hunting stuff.” Preshea shrugged a shoulder, as if the motion were enough to brush off the subject.

Not likely. “Too busy to
smile
?”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” Rho wiggled her brows.

Preshea shot her a dirty look and threw her hands into the air. “It’s nothing. We had a little thing a long time ago. That’s over and done with now.”

“Does he have a mate?” Wolves had mates, didn’t they? Rho thought they did.

“No, but…” She opened her mouth as if to finish the sentence, then closed it again.

“Spill it. What’s the story?” Rho couldn’t help but be nosy, and Eldon and Tim would be back any minute. Actually, she was surprised they hadn’t already returned. For some reason, she knew if she didn’t ask now, she’d probably never know.

Preshea shook her head. “Interracial relationships aren’t good for people like us.”

“Tell me about it.” Talk about firsthand experience.

“That’s not the same thing.” Preshea brushed her hand through her hair again, a habit she indulged when she got nervous. Her brow pinched in thought. “Tim is—he’s an Alpha. Expectations are different.”

“He’s not acting as the Alpha right now.” Hadn’t been for well over a month.

“The replacement is temporary.” Preshea shifted her weight from foot to foot. “He’s fun to hang out with, but soon enough everything will go back to the way it should be. Him on his side of the DarqRealm. Me on mine.”

That made no sense. Why all the segregation? What was the point of keeping people apart when they wanted to be together?

“I know I’m kind of young to this world and all, but the rules are stupid.” Rho’s voice was flat. “No half-breeds? No dating who you want to?”

Preshea stopped her nervous movements and stared at the ground. “It’s the way it has to be.”

“No, it’s the way you make it. You choose this life.”

“We decide nothing! The Council determines
everything
. And what they don’t choose, the ShiftMaster does. Or the forerunner does. Or the Lamia King does.” Preshea’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me you’ve ever felt like you had a choice.”

No, she didn’t. In truth, no one really did. “You know, the human world has so few monarchies left. All we have in our world are dictatorships.”

“It’s the way of the DarqRealm. Always has been.”

Even if the rules were set, Rho still wanted to know. “What if you had the choice? Would you be with Tim if you could?”

Preshea stood in silence for a moment before she opened her mouth, as if trying to form the words to answer the question.

A blue light flashed across room, and Eldon emerged with Tim in tow. The two quickly separated, and Tim wandered over to give Preshea a quick hug. The knot in Rho’s stomach kinked as Eldon finally met her eyes. She couldn’t connect to him, but she didn’t need to be inside his mind to know he wasn’t in the best place. He was definitely still upset. But while she knew instinctively that she probably needed to give him some space, she couldn’t. There was too much to say.

Her plan of action was clear. She’d apologize to Eldon. They’d come up with some sort of strategy. Then she’d start practicing magick. Every day. Until she mastered her abilities and knew how to control herself, at least enough to prove she wasn’t a danger.

“You know where to find me.” Eldon’s voice was gravelly and soft as he turned and disappeared into their bedroom. When Tim and Preshea went in to the adjoining space and closed the door behind them, she settled into a chair at the kitchen table and set her mug in front of her.

Alone, even though she was surrounded by people. Exactly the way she felt.

Chapter Fifteen

E
ldon sat in the chair at the far corner of the bedroom he shared with Rho, bent forward to rest his elbows on his knees. After the way he’d left things with her, he’d just needed a little time to clear his head.

How could she have kept a secret like that from him? Granted, he hadn’t done much better by blindsiding her with a visit to see his ex-girlfriend. He probably didn’t have a right to be angry. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t disappointed.

The door creaked, but he didn’t bother to look up. He knew it was Rho. And since he’d become her sole blood donor, he’d be willing to bet that she needed to feed. It had been three days.

“Come in,” he said softly.

When she didn’t come in, he glanced up to find her in the doorway. She was a vision standing in the doorway, her hair tousled and cascading down both shoulders to her waist, her leathers filthy from seeing too much action in the field.

She stepped inside the doorway and clicked the door shut behind her before leaning back against the wood frame. He stared at her, not really sure where to begin.

“I’m sorry.” Rho’s clear grey eyes were sad, her brow creased in worry. “I just wanted to say…I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” He knew how she felt. The expression on her face showed her regret.

She broke the eye contact with him to stare at her feet. “I…um, I hate to ask for a favor, and you don’t have to say yes.”

“You need to feed.”

The moment he said the word, her fangs extended, peeking out from her full, pink lips. “Yeah.”

He fought his desire to spring up from his chair and capture her in his arms. After what they’d been through over the past few days, he wasn’t sure where they stood. Better play it safe. He stayed seated in the chair and extended a wrist.

Rho’s eyes went wide. She took a step back toward the door.

Had he done something wrong?

He rose from the chair, and she whirled toward the doorway just as her hands rose to her face. A dark sense of wrongness coated his senses. He tapped the line beneath his feet and faded instantly into the energy, riding the wave to the door and cutting her off at the exit. When he glanced down, what he saw nearly broke him in half.

Tears brimmed in her eyes. A single droplet spilled over, leaving a wet stain on her pale cheek. The sight of that single tear shred him from the inside out. He reached out to her instinctively, but she spun away from him.

He clamped a hand on her shoulder and turned her back to face him. “You’re crying.”

What had happened? Rho didn’t cry. She tried to be tough and rock solid, perpetually strong. And he knew that she was especially steely in front of him, even though she didn’t need to be. But in that moment, he would have given anything to make her stop.

She squeezed her eyes shut then made a quick wipe with her hand against both cheeks. “Please, I need to go.”

“Why?”

She cleared her throat and lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. “Why what?”

“Why are you crying?”

“Eldon, please,” she choked out. She lifted a shoulder to try and escape his grip, but that only made him hold her tighter. No way would he let her walk away from him now. Not like this.

She shook her head. “I can’t… Don’t do this right now.”

“Do what?” He gave her shoulders a shake and gazed down at her, completely dumbfounded.

She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, then squared her shoulders and met his stare defiantly. “If you don’t want me anymore, I get it. But don’t make me say the words out loud. That’s just cruel.”

He recoiled, her words a sucker punch to the gut. She thought he didn’t want her anymore? Since when? Was that what this was about? He shook his head, wondering what could have possibly given her that idea. “Who told you that?”

“You gave me your wrist.” She turned her face away from him, dejected.

He arched a brow. “And that’s why I don’t want you.” Of all the ridiculous conclusions to jump to, this one had to take the cake. To think, she actually believed for one second that he wanted to leave her? They were so connected to each other, he never even considered that an option.

She sniffled, still refusing to look at him.

Eldon heaved a sigh. “I thought with the way we left things earlier, you’d want your space.” That was the absolute truth. Sometimes he forgot she was a vampire and the intimacy her race placed on blood. He’d never meant to hurt her with the gesture. He frowned and brushed his thumb along her cheek, capturing a tear. “Is that why you’re so upset?”

“I thought you were done.” She swallowed as she searched his eyes. “I thought that was your way of telling me we were over.”

“Oh, angel.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. “No, not at all.”

She sagged into him before sucking in a deep breath against his chest. He smiled as he felt her squeeze her arms around his waist, relishing in her need for him. In all the time they’d been together, she’d never allowed him to support her like this. To hold her close and just be her rock.

But it saddened him to know why she held him so close. Did she really think she was going to lose him? Did she think he could walk away from her so easily? He knew exactly what it would mean to his heart—his soul—if he lost her. She was…everything.

Had he ever told her that?

When she finally loosened her hold on him, he pulled away, his hands firm on each of her shoulders. He stared down at her with serious eyes. “Do you have any idea how much I care about you?”

She searched his eyes but didn’t answer the question. Which told him what he needed to know, and confirmed everything he probably should have said before now. No wonder she’d had such a reaction to Trinador. He’d never once reassured her of the place she held in his heart.

First things first. “You can’t leave me out of the things that are important in your life.”

She snorted. “Hello, pot. Meet kettle.”

Okay, so she had him there. He’d practically written the training manual on secret-keeping. Case in point, his Parisian ex-girlfriend and their unannounced field trip to her house. But that was all over now.

He grimaced. “I admit, I should have told you about Trinador and what my plans were.”

“I should have told you about the Council meeting. So we’re even.”

“I need you to understand something.” He furrowed his brow and blew out a breath, trying to grasp the words that he knew needed to be said. Words had never been his strong suit. He dropped his stare to the ground before meeting her eyes again.

Rho gulped as he took a step forward to close the distance between them.

He’d have to just speak what he knew. “I don’t understand the bond we have, so I won’t pretend that I do. It makes no sense and it shouldn’t be possible.” He tipped her chin up with the crook of his finger, and her breath hitched. “But I have never in my life felt the way I feel about you. I love you, Rho, so if I’m overprotective and annoy the hell out of you, I want you to know I have a good reason.”

Rho’s mind blanked as she stared into his eyes. Sincerity poured from their depths, threatening to knock her knees out from underneath her. She hadn’t expected this at all. When he’d given her his wrist, she’d thought for sure things were over. Soul struck or not, she would have sworn he’d been ready to walk away from her right then.

But he loved her? Really and truly? The last time she’d ever felt loved was when her parents had been alive. Even her affections for Frederick, her creator, were built more out of appreciation and duty than a sincere love. She sucked in a breath she didn’t need to take and tried to calm the thoughts speeding through her mind.

His lips quirked into a faint smile. “Have I actually managed to render you speechless? I didn’t think that was possible. Actually—”

“I love you, too.” The words came out so soft she wasn’t sure she’d said them out loud.

His eyes widened. “You do?” He explored her face with his penetrating stare, as if trying to get a bead on her emotions.

She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she’d fallen. She’d fallen hard. If she were being honest with herself, she would have admitted it long ago, but as Eldon often pointed out, she was notoriously stubborn. Their connection was telepathic, sure, but what they had together ran so much deeper. He ran straight through the core of her.

Rho tried to refocus her thoughts. “I didn’t tell you about the meeting because I couldn’t allow you to be distracted by my issues.”
And getting hurt or killed because you were thinking of me and not of yourself.
“If anything happened to you, I…”

She clamped her mouth shut, unwilling to finish the thought. After almost losing him once and then thinking she’d lost him again tonight, she knew without question that she’d do whatever it took to keep him safe. She had a death mark on her arm to prove it.

“I’m not a child.” He shook his head. “I can handle some bad news.”

“You already worry about me too much.”

His eyes narrowed. “I worry because I’m in love with you. Do you think I’d move on that easily if something happened to you? You’re the kind of love a person doesn’t get over.” He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. “And you forget, I’ve nearly lost you, too.”

True. She’d nearly died when she’d been hit with silver, and he’d forced his sister to fix her and never left her side. “You’re right.”

“Then you understand why I did what I did with Trinador.”

She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t agree with it. But I can understand.”

He traced her jaw with a finger, the sensation sending a delicious shiver down her spine. “I told you it wouldn’t be easy. If we’re going to do this, you’re not allowed to lie to me. Omissions are lies.”

She raised a brow. “You have to take your own advice. No lying to me either. Even if it might piss me off.”

“I can agree to that.” A smile tickled his lips. “No more secrets. No more lies.”

She nodded. That meant no keeping secrets from their teammates, either. “You know what we have to do next, right?”

He tilted his head.

Rho sighed and peered around him to the door. “We need to tell our teammates about you and me. They should know about our connection.”

The smile fell from his face as he nodded then pulled her in for a long embrace. “As much as I hate to agree with you, I do. But right now the sun is coming up and we need all the rest we can get. We’ll tell them at nightfall.”

“Promise?”

He planted a kiss on her forehead. “Promise.”

Eldon rolled over to his side, pulling his body closer to Rho’s, relishing the stark contrast between her cool skin and his warmth. Nightfall always came too soon, especially with her delicate body occupying the space beside him in the bed.

Although delicate was relative, he supposed. She could crush a man with her bare hands if she wanted to. Wasn’t that sexy as hell.

He combed her hair with his fingers, the strands fine and soft against his skin. With her in his bed, he felt unbelievably… lucky. He hadn’t felt lucky in a very long time, since long before his parents passed away. Certainly not since he’d started dealing with the Collective bullshit his dad had saddled him with.