Fate (Drift Series Book 4) (20 page)

On the other hand, there was no way I would forsake my wife and child regardless of what I am. I will always be there for them, at least if that’s up to me I will. Nothing could ever tear me apart from them…nothing. Whatever adversity the humans may throw at me, if any beyond this point, I just have to hold steady to those who won’t abandon me, be there for them as long as they want me to. Those that do forsake me, I must write off for my own well-being as well as theirs. I realize that I don’t fit in with the vast majority of humans. I need to give them what they want, that is, keep my distance, even to old friends like Sandra who I care for. That’s the best I can do to offer them some peace. For those that want me in their life, it is for them that I must keep my focus.

As I thought, I remained fixated on the various faces at the funeral. Some were somber, some even smiled during the warmer moments while others clenched their throats to hold back tears or some simply let them flow. Everything was in slow motion for me, swaying in symphony to rhythm of the preacher's words. When the preacher concluded, a very sad, but yet, uplifting song began to play and people lined up to bid my brother farewell…even Argento and Elysia. The song seemed to jar loose tears from even the toughest of individuals.

I watched my parents approach, never taking my eyes off them as they hunched over the casket to bid their son farewell. Shade and the rest of the Lewis clan was right behind them, the families joined together in a group hug over the top of the casket, taking in their last moments with him, working out a good cry in unison. When this happened, I could feel some of the sorrow they were experiencing within myself, this was a different type of sadness brewing within me, much different than my usual demon sorrow.

When they were finished, they stood off to the side of the casket a few feet. My mother and father were offered condolences by everyone, one by one. When Sandra’s time came to say goodbye to her fiancé, she wept hard and leaned over to kiss him on his forehead. She laid something in the casket with him before she walked away. When she got to my mother and father, they hugged for quite some time, all three of them together. I could tell they were sobbing uncontrollably. When they finally broke from their embrace, Sandra had to walk by Shade. Shade leaned over to console her but only received a half-hearted hug from Sandra for her efforts. Afterwards, Sandra walked away with her family. I could tell Shade was bothered by her best friend's blow off. Shade stared at her for a while and then looked to where I was and we made eye contact. It was as if she said to me, “Did you see that?” without speaking.

Argento and Elysia took a moment with Scruffy and then moved on to the families. They were warmly greeted by them. After their brief encounter, I saw Argento pull Elysia aside. They duo looked over at me and then Elysia started heading my way while Argento stayed behind.

“Always on the outside looking in, Father?” Elysia kidded me as she neared.

“Always, Daughter.” I grinned.

“How’s…you know who doing?” I asked.

“Mark? He’s blending in fine with us…he’s an odd soul, but a good one.” We both chuckled.

“That’s my boy.” I continued to laugh. “I wish I could see him.”

“I know, Leo. I’m sorry you can’t.”

“So what’s up? You angels always come around for a reason, what’s going on?” I looked at her with playful suspicion.

“You know us well. We need to chat about your confrontation with Christian…just for a moment.” Her face got serious and I knew where she was going.

“Are you really going to do this right here, right now, Elysia? Can’t this wait?” I asked, a little flustered.

“I realize this is bad timing to have a heavy conversation, that’s why Argento sent me over here on my own. He was hoping you would be more receptive right now. Leo, we are going on our own with this one. Michael has not permitted Argento to divulge what I’m about to tell you.” She reached for my hand pulling it to her, cupping it within both of her hands.

“You are going to lose against Christian.” She looked at me hard.

I flung my head back in disgust, “I am tired of hearing this same, regurgitated line, Elysia. I continue hearing this every time there is a fight to be had. I figured it would be no different this time either. I know what I’m going up against. I know the odds are against me. You’ve already told me that my chances are near zero of beating him and I will die. Even Anne has told me the same thing. Is this really what you came over here for, to tell me something I already know?” I rolled my eyes.

“Leo…listen to me...”I glanced back at her.

“Your chances aren’t near zero…they are zero. When you meet Christian, you will die. This isn’t speculation, this isn’t guessing, this is certainty. Christian will kill you. You will not defeat him.”

I pulled my hand out of hers.

“So now you’ve given up on me too? You’re telling me that everything I have done…overcome, has been in vain? What about all the defeating him with love talk? You said that was the only way, is that no longer an option now too?” I tensed in aggravation.

“Since this started, we’ve all known, including Christian, that if you made it to him, you’d not be strong enough to take him out.”

I turned my side to her and stared at Scruffy’s coffin hopeless.

“Leo…love is the only way to defeat Christian, but it will not be your love that wields the power to do it…I’m sorry.”

“This whole time, Elysia…this whole time you’ve known this? Now what…what do I do now if continuing on is a charade? What do I do?” I looked to her in pure devastation.

“You continue, Father…look at me,” she delicately placed her hand on my cheek and pulled my gaze to her, “you push on.” Her beautiful eyes captivated me.

“But…why? What’s the point?”

“Because you must. You have to continue to give them hope, Father. They must continue to believe in your cause. Do you understand?” She looked at my sternly.

“No…I don’t.”

She looked away, “Look…all I can tell you is to go at Christian with everything you’ve got. Fight him like you don’t know the outcome…when the time comes, embrace your death with dignity and courage.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Why would you tell me this, Elysia? Why tell me that it’s a certainty that I will die?”

“Because, Father, if you accept what is to come and still find the heart to continue on and confront your destiny, you’ll live on, in their eyes. Go out giving the humans hope, more so than you’ve already done. That’s the best legacy you can leave. That is why we went against the grain to tell you about this. Not to shatter your hope, but so you know to take every moment you have left to leave a lasting impression on the human world while you’re still a part of it.” She smiled.

I surveyed the scene in frustration, but I understood what they needed from me. They wanted the human spirit to remain strong, to still have faith. That helps the heavens keep the balance. I could respect that.

“Okay, Elysia…okay. I will see this out to the bitter end. I will go on as if this knowledge doesn’t exist…I will keep this to myself though. I can’t tell Shade about this.”

“Understood…I think that would be best, until next time.” She grinned and bowed and started to walk away.

“Elysia?”

She turned.

“I have one deep regret about all this.”

“That is?” She titled her head.

“I’ll never get to see you grow up.” I grinned.

“Don’t worry…I will have a wonderful mother.”

She smiled back and headed back to Argento.

I looked ahead of her to see him staring at me. I nodded to him, telling him that I got the message.

So now I must push on; for what reasons, I’m not sure about anymore.

CHAPTER 19

SOLITUDE

Argento and Elysia walked off in the distance together and I caught Shade peering in my direction with curiosity. She must have witnessed my little conversation with Elysia. She waited a few minutes for the rest of the attendees to clear out, along with her parents before she headed back to me.

The only people left in attendance now were myself, Shade, and my mother and father. My parents decided to stick around, much like Darryl’s parents did, to watch them lower their son into his eternal resting spot. They were having a wake at their house afterwards—I’m sure people wouldn’t mind if they were held up for a few minutes.

“What was that all about?” Shade questioned.

“You know, same ol’ same ol’ advice about Christian, some condolences regarding Scruffy…that kind of stuff.” I put my arm around her.

“You going to be okay?”

“Oh yeah…as good as I ever was.”

“You ready to go over to your parents’ house? Have some food and celebrate his life with our friends and family?”

“Well, of course, but I think I’m still more comfortable sticking around in the background for now. That’s want I want to do for my brother, let certain people mourn him without anger because I’m present.”

“Oh, Leo, you are much too hard on yourself, but, do as you wish.” We made our way to the car.

We waited for my mom and dad to finish. It just didn’t feel right for us to leave them entirely alone right now. Once my brother was lowered, the two of them took a slow walk back to their car. We waved at them once they saw we hadn’t left and got behind them to follow them home.

When we got there, pretty much everyone from the funeral had made it and were parked all around the house. They were in the front yard conversing with each other as they waited for my parents to arrive. Pretty much everyone had some sort of food dish in tow. Mom and dad managed to squeak out some smiles for the first time since Scruffy had passed when they saw who all came. They were obviously grateful for the overflow of support the community was showing toward their son. They opened the front door and everyone trickled inside the house while Shade and I hung back in the front yard.

“Well…you going inside?” she asked.

“Yeah…eventually, but I want to wait for a minute, let everyone settle, especially Sandra, before I show my face in there. You go ahead and go inside…I’ll be in shortly.” I smiled at her and pulled her to my side.

“Do what you need to…I’m right here if you need me. See you in a few.”

We kissed again and she went inside. For a while, I stood in place, staring at the front of the house. I could see the people inside greeting and hugging one another in front of the windows. I felt empty. I was doing my best not to show what was troubling me. I was trying to remain strong for Shade and my family. Along with the fretting over the death of my brother, I couldn’t figure out why Argento and Elysia picked his funeral as the time to tell me that I would soon be joining him with such certainty. I was going to need some time to myself today, but now wasn’t the time to wallow in self-pity.

I slowly stepped up to the house, opening the door, trying my best to go unnoticed. As soon as I stepped in, my father was at the door.

“I was about to go out and get you son.”

“Sorry, I just needed a moment.”

“I understand. C’mon in, get something to eat, say 'hi' to everyone.” He placed his hand at the small of my back.

“I will…I’ll do it in a minute.”

“Take your time.” He smiled and walked into the living room with everyone else.

I took a few steps off to the side of the front door and took in the surroundings. There were various pictures of Scruffy, from birth to recent, set up everywhere around the living room and from what I could see, in the kitchen also. It was strange; there were a couple of pictures of him and me. Although I could see him as plain as day in the picture, I could see nothing of myself next to him. I was a blur; again, the curse of being a demon, at no time could I be self-aware. Not even in a picture.

I did my best in remaining as distant as I could be with the guests. Although my physical body needed food, I didn’t want to walk through the group to get some. I just felt out of place after Sandra scolded me. I felt like all eyes were on me. Whether they were or not was a matter of perception. I hovered around everyone, watching them. Shade would periodically come up to me, so did her parents and mine, to check to see if I was okay, but I remained in the background the best I could. For the first time that day, Sam and I were able to briefly chat, but he couldn’t stay long because he had to go back to work. Being that we were the only two here that were with Scruffy at the end, we didn’t need to say much to one another about him.

I knew that this was a time to remember my brother, but I couldn’t help staring at Shade from the back of the room almost the entire time I was there. I worried about what the world would be like for her and my daughter after I was no longer a part of it. Would they find happiness after I was dead? Would another man come along to take care of her and my daughter? The thought of both of those things cut me like a knife. Not because I was jealous of anything of that sort, but more because I couldn’t be the one in their future.

I made my way over to a window and stared out. I would occasionally look over my shoulder to study those that I loved, even Sandra. Their smiles, their tears, their anger, their tenderness were all human emotions I would surely miss. I needed to go to my spot. I have grown weary of all this death around me and the toll it takes on the humans. Just then, Shade approached me again.

“How are you doing over here…lackey?” She reached around my waist from behind as my gaze never strayed from the window.

“You haven’t called me that in a while.” I chuckled.

“Yeah…well…you just look like you needed to laugh. Heck, I needed a laugh.”

I wrapped my arms over hers on my waist. “I did. Would you mind if I headed back to my tree and took some time to myself. I need to get away from all this for a while and think.”

“Is everything all right?” She pulled her arms back around and came around to my front between me and the window.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…I’m fine. I just need to get out and clear my head. You know me. The best way for me to work things out within myself is to have solitude. I’ll be right as rain in no time.” I placed my hand on her cheek.

“Okay…all right. You need the car?”

“Nah…I’ll go the old fashioned way…I’ll fly.” I grinned.

She chuckled and we hugged. “I’ll swing in later to check on you then?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

We held hands and she guided me to our parents who were standing together. I told them that I was stepping out for a bit and would be back soon to visit. I received a hug from all and sidestepped my way through the guests and to the front door. It just so happened that Sandra was coming out of the bathroom nearby and we made eye contact as I reached for the doorknob. We both paused and she gave me a cynical stare before she brushed passed me back into the living room. I sighed and slipped out the door.

I decided to walk back to my spot; I didn’t feel like flying there. It took a while, but I made it and slowly strutted up the hill to my overlook. I stood at the base of my tree and stared up at my perch in wonder. This is where it all began. I whipped out my wings and soared up to my branch and perched on it, staring down at the town below like I’d done a thousand times before. I began to turn the pages in my head on my demon life.

I thought back to the times of when I sat here alone, with nothing or no one to comfort me except the company of a stray cat named Shadow. I reverted back to the times of staring at that beautiful girl sporting that button-filled backpack in class wondering what it would be like to be with her. Now, here I was as her husband.

I remembered all those times when Scruffy would embarrass me about my crush on her, or when he’d slap my back just to get a rise out of me, or those times when the teacher would get so furious with Scruffy because he wouldn’t shut his trap. It made me laugh.

I thought about our times at BNB’s, or when he was angry with me and we didn’t talk for a while. That time he came tumbling down the stone prison I was chained to when Shimmer had me as his prisoner. He was such a klutz. But the most touching of times were some of the last with him. The ski trip, the card games, those deep conversations we had and the promises we made to one another; last but not least, our final moment together. He saved my life…in more ways than one. I’d never truly thanked him for all that.

“I know you can hear me my old friend. I know you are out there somewhere. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. Thank you for your friendship…thank you for being my brother. I love you man. I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry.” I spoke out loud to the vast nothingness.

My mind didn’t stop there. I started to turn my thoughts back to my love, my heart. Shade was my very reason for being. She was my savior. All those nights spent in her room in secret, her diary, the candle in her window, the time she watched me show off in the woods just across the way from where I was sitting at this very moment. It made me think about that rock below that she was sitting on as she chronicled our relationship in that little black book that I was so against her doing at the time. I looked down at that very rock and hopped out of the tree. I squatted there and ran my hand across the spot where she liked to sit all the time when we were up here when she wasn’t in the tree with me.

I turned my head towards the setting sun and continued to think about her. When she was captured by Shimmer, the panic I felt when she was gone, our wedding, the first time we made love, I left no stone unturned in my mind over her. The more I thought about my numbered days and losing her, as well as the grief over losing Scruffy, the more my insides started to feel absent. Something was happening in me. A growing sorrow began to rise from within my gut, seemingly getting trapped within the confines of my throat. This was a feeling I was not familiar with. The more I thought about my brother, Shade, our families, the more I felt this hurt within me. Suddenly, I felt my eyes fill with moisture, I winced a bit. All of a sudden, a tear strolled down my cheek. I was crying…like the humans do. Never in demon history, that I know of, has a demon cried, but I was now.

My sorrow was interrupted by the sounds of a vehicle struggling up the dirt driveway. I looked over my shoulder and saw that it was Shade’s car topping the hill. I turned my gaze back to the sun. But my tears didn’t stop there. I heard my wife get out of the car behind me and shut the door. Her slow steps crunched upon the dirt and gravel as she approached. I tried to pull back my emotions, but when she put her hand on my shoulder, another one fell from my eye. She bent down in my face as if she was going to speak to me, but it appeared she saw what was written all over it. She didn’t say a word and just sat down next to me on the rock.

I didn’t make any eye contact with her, but I could see her staring at me with an empathetic look out of my purview vision. I just kept my gaze on the setting sun.

Shade gently rested her head on my shoulder and we took in the sunset together without speaking another word.

A final meeting with Christian was right around the corner. Because of that, I knew this would be the final time we’d ever get to sit in this spot together. Our time together was almost at an end.