FanGirl (22 page)

“What?! Why don’t you have it here now? Why are we talking about all my dramas when you have Issue 4 ready? Do you like tormenting me?”

“I guess I’m a jerk.”

Cutest jerk ever. Gah. I needed to stop that. “I guess you are.”

“I’ll bring it tomorrow. You don’t have to read it right away if you’re busy or whatever,” he says, frowning.

“Gabe! Like something will keep me from reading it! In fact, you need to hold out and wait until the end of the day because I won’t be able to focus. I can hardly focus right now! Let’s go get it? Is it in your car?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I’m serious. Is it in your car?”

“It’s at home. And I’ll bring it tomorrow. And you need to go to bed. It’s late and tomorrow will be another long day.”

“Can Issue 4 be my reward?”

“Yes.” He hands me my satchel. “Goodnight, Ruby.”

“Night. Thanks for the ride and listening.”

He shrugs “Eh. Price for your friendship.”

Ouch. That one stops me because there’s too much bartering with relationships around here and not enough real. “No, Gabe. Don’t say that.”

“Hey.” He steps forward and pulls me into a hug. “You’re right. Me and you. Friends, right? Honest and truthful. I need the truth on this draft. The real truth. And I promise to do the same with you — with everything.”

I lean my head into his chest and close my eyes. I’m so tired. “Everything?”

He nods his head and his chin rubs the top of my hair. “When you want it, yes.”

“Thank you.” I squeeze my arms around his waist tighter, unwilling to let go.

g

Chapter 14

I
bang on the door and Gabe answers in a Green Lantern T-shirt and cotton pajama pants. His feet are bare and his hair is wild and I’m taken back by his good looks, damn him. But then he says, “Ruby? Are you okay?” and his eyes dart down to the book I’m clutching at my chest and my skull and crossbone pajamas. I remember that he’s NOT cute, he’s a traitor and I may have to pull a Misery
[1]
on him.

“What did you do?” I ask, pushing past him and into the tiny apartment.

The door closes behind me with a soft click. “You read it.”

“Oh, I read it.” I say, and even I can hear the shrill, panicked sound in my voice. Again, I ask, “What. Did. You. Do?”

He holds my gaze. And I know right then that whatever tiny hope I had for this not being real is a waste. “This was planned. For years. The story always went this way.”

“You broke them up!”

“Well, technically, they were never ‘together’ together. Don’t tell me you never saw this coming.”

I raise the book up and consider throwing it. Gabe’s eyes widen and I realize then how precious this is — what I have in my hand is written gold, and even in my anger I recognize that. Instead, I gently place it on the table. “How could you do this? They love each other.”

“Do they?” he says. He sits on the leather couch, pushing papers and game controllers out of the way.

“Of course they do! After all that! They have no choice.” I pace around the room.

“Everyone has choices, Ruby. Even in the zombie apocalypse.”

“No, Gabe. No! This is not happening. Wyatt and Alexandra are destined to be together. It’s destiny. Fate. A cosmic good in the middle of a desperate situation. It’s the only good thing that happened in all of this, and now you’re telling me everything they had together is not real? Is not part of some larger story?”

“Ruby…”

“Remember in Issue 2 when Wyatt tells Alexandra how his mother left when he was 10 and his father is a drunk and ran off? He had nowhere to go, but he fought and fought against the system and school and, in the end, he made it to college to start a new life. Then the world came shattering down. He tells her that finding her is the only thing that has made his life worth living.”

“Yes.”

“Well, I woke up in a cold sweat after reading that. Don’t tell me all of it means nothing.”

“I’m not telling you that – it just means something else.”

Tears well in my eyes and I know I’m being stupid and irrational and maybe a little psychotic, but Gabe has single-handedly shattered the last refuge of my sanity; my fantasy of the epic coupling of Alexandra and Wyatt. “I don’t get it. Why?”

“Why? Because it’s the story I want to tell, the one I’ve always envisioned. These two were together because circumstances put them together. Horrible ones. Don’t you want Alex to have a chance to be with her true love — maybe her destiny?”

“Cole is not her destiny,” my voice is hard.

“Yes, he is.”

“Cole? He’s weak! He’s a freaking nerd and he’s no match for Alex.”

“That is not true,” he says, the hurt clear in his voice.

“Yes it is! He thinks he can geek his way out of everything. Sure, he loves Alex, but she’s not right for him. He’s not a fighter! She needs a fighter.”

Gabe shakes his head. “All he does is fight for Alex and Chloe. Just in a different way. All Wyatt does is fight for himself.”

I don’t respond and he continues. “So, you’d rather her be with a smug and condescending jerk? A guy who looks out for himself before anyone else? Wyatt is emotionally unavailable. His secrets place him out of range.”

I roll my eyes. “You don’t believe that! You’re a dude! You want conflict to keep this going. You want the geeky guy to win the former geeky girl so the fanboys of the world will unite over their geekiness!”

He doesn’t argue and I know I’ve touched on some part of the truth. “Whatever. Alex and Cole are wrong. He’s no match for her.”

I’m standing over him and he’s just sitting there, taking all my rage and dramatics. His hands rest on his thighs and his head is pressed back into the couch. “Do you not care?” I ask, unable to comprehend his behavior.

“Of course I do, Ruby. But maybe I can see something the readers can’t. Maybe I know what’s best for my characters,” he says and then adds, “among other things.”

My jaw drops. “Did you imply I’m too dumb to understand the plot in your comic book?”

He stares at me. “Of course not! But sometimes you’re so willing to trust and follow other people, you forget there are other options.” Now he’s agitated and his knee bounces under his hand. Anger flashes in his eyes. “There are other options, you know. This is your life, Ruby, not Iris’ or Andrew’s or your mother’s.”

“Or yours, Gabe! Are you exempt? Because you sure as hell have no problem talking me into doing things for you — like playing a part I have no business playing, and pushing aside my other job and obligations to bring your character to life!”

We’re both standing now, inches apart, vibrating with anger. He rubs his hands over his face and into his mangled hair. He lets out a sigh and says, “Before we met, the only thing I knew about you was what I’d seen in the fan video. You were brilliant. Vulnerable and tough. Exactly how I had envisioned Alexandra. And then I met you at FantasyCon and you were so much more. Shy and funny. Lost but determined.” He pauses and pushes a stray hair out of my eyes. “A fighter. Everything.”

“What?” The word comes out in a strangled whisper.

“I wanted all of that in my life — in my movie. So yeah, I pushed you because I wanted you as Alexandra. But now, I don’t know. I’ve realized you’re so much more than Iris’ shadow or Andrew’s beard of the week. More than Alexandra.” With his jaw clenched tight, he walks over to the table and picks up Issue 4. The manuscript quivers in his hand. His eyes meet mine and he says, “Just like Alex proves she’s more than Wyatt and the circumstances forced into her life because of the apocalypse.”

What do I do? Where did that come from? The implications behind his words are too much. So I bail. Bolt. Run. I push past him and his stupid, sucky book and haul ass out the door. He calls my name, and I ignore it, running on shaky legs down the stairs, my palms slick from nerves. In one day, my best friend broke my trust, my fake boyfriend is still my fake boyfriend, and Gabe has managed to ruin the best part of my life while managing to confuse the hell out of me. It’s more than a girl can take.

g

I’m trying to decide
between a candy bar and a package of cupcakes. Both look good. I mean, cupcakes are awesome, but nothing beats a candy bar. Under the harsh buzzing fluorescent lights at the Mini-Market, I realize I’m one step from a Britney-style paparazzi moment. This must be what happened to her, I consider, picking up a bag of chips and the cupcakes. One minute she was a normal girl, doing her job, and the next she’s in her pajamas at the gas station buying junk food, showing her hoo-ha to the masses. I reach to the top of my head to make sure my hair is still there.

Whew.

Lucky for me, I’m not a super-famous singer/actress/celebrity, and no one cares I’ve hit rock bottom. And no one includes the guy at the counter, who happens to be reading a magazine with my face in a tiny box in the top right corner.

I pay and gather my handful of junk food, leaving the store with a jingle of the bells over the door and run right into Reid. Smack.

“Watch it,” I say, trying to keep my chocolate milk from hitting the pavement.

He eyes the food in my hand and gives my outfit a judgmental glance. “This looks healthy.”

“Shut it.” I try to skirt around him, but he holds his position firm. “What now?”

“Where’s your boyfriend?” He looks around and grabs a package out of my arms. “He’s not into late night trips to the Mini-Market? I can’t see him eating a pack of cupcakes. Might mess up his fat-to-muscle ratio.”

“I don’t have time for this. Why do you even care? Jealous?”

“Of what? You turning
Zocopalypse
into a joke? Too late.”

“Maybe. Has to hurt that not only am I working on the film, but Taylor Lyn’s also schlepping around the set. I see you two aren’t as close anymore.”

His face darkens when I mention her and I feel a twinge of guilt. It sucks to be the one left behind for better, blonder things. I can relate. He narrows his eyes and says, “What’s going on, anyway? You look like you’ve been crying. You’re wearing your glasses, too. Lately it’s been those creepy contacts.”

“I’m just tired. It’s not a big deal.” I push around him and start for my car. “And, what do you mean lately? Stop stalking me, freak.”

“Come on. Tell me what’s got your panties all in a twist. I’m not the enemy, you know.”

“No?” I eye him, skeptical. “Whatever, the movie is great — so are the people.”

“Yeah? Could’ve fooled me.”

“Iris and I got into a fight. Then, you know how much I get into the novels, I’m stressing about the new issue and I can’t talk to her about it.” I clamp my hand over my mouth.

“The next issue? It doesn’t come out until next year.”

“No, but it’s being written right now.” I bite my lip. “Ignore me. I’m being weird.”

“You’re always being weird, that’s no surprise, but you and Iris fighting? That’s new. Why?”

I lean back on the side of the car. “The website.”

“Oh.” He laughs. “I’ve seen the celebrity stuff she’s been posting. I can imagine you aren’t a fan of the change.”

“We haven’t had much choice. That ZWankHard site has been slamming me left and right. We had to do something to defend the movie.”

“Yeah, they’re harsh. Although people should protect their scripts better.”

“They’re all accounted for. There’s not much you can do when someone on the inside attempts to destroy you.”

“You can’t be surprised. Fandoms always get touchy during franchise expansion. Did you expect something different?”

“Well, be glad your website has stayed clean of all this. You may end up being the only one standing when all this ends.”

He laughs. “Yeah, right. Like Iris will ever let go of Z.net.”

“She might if I make her.”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“I would and I could and before this is over, I may. My friendship with Iris is worth more than this stupid movie or even the website.”

He nods and the air stills between us. It’s weird talking to Reid like this. Normal. Even more normal than before we broke up. Back then, everything was zombies and comics, with the occasional break for making out.

“Go talk to her. It’ll make it better, I promise.”

I laugh. “How do you know?”

“We’re talking, and look — better.” He smiles and I see a glimpse of the boy I once loved.

“Maybe we should have done this a long time ago.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe,” I narrow my eyes, “you shouldn’t have kissed Taylor Lyn.”

He pushes a piece of hair out of my face. “Ah, well, I can’t take that back now, can I?”

“I suppose not.” I open my car door and toss my snacks on the seat. I’m about to step inside when I stop myself. “Can I ask you one more thing?” I wince.

“What?” His hand is on the door.

“Am I… am I a horrible kisser or anything? Was it bad? Is that why you dumped me?”