Fang Me (13 page)

Wondering what that meant, I thanked him, then looked her up in the phone book. I called her, and since she had an appointment available in an hour, I wrote down her home address. Taking the book Rick had given me back downstairs, I chatted with Mom and Jen a little then asked Fang,
You
ready to go?

He scrambled to his feet. YEAH. THIS LYING AROUND STUFF GETS OLD AFTER AWHILE. WHERE ARE WE GOING?

"To see a psychic."

OOOOKAY. WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT, ANYWAY. NEVER GET BORED AROUND YOU, BABE.

Yeah. Kind of like that old Chinese curse,"May you live in interesting times."

Marina Lester was nothing at all like I'd pictured. I should have known better than to buy in to stereotypes, but I'd expected an old crone or, at the very least, an overweight poser with heavy eye shadow and a dimly-lit space draped with acres of colorful shawls. Instead, this Witch was tiny, petite, and maybe a few years older than me. She wore everyday clothes just like mine and led me into an ordinary family room that looked a lot like Mom's. The only thing that looked remotely witchy about her was her hair—long red ringlets bounced around the delicate features of her face as if they were springs.

She didn't even raise an eyebrow at Fang's presence, but offered me a seat and came right to the point, smiling and speaking in a confident tone."This is how I work. It's twenty dollars for a reading, but only if the spirits speak through me. I'll need to hold your hands and concentrate. Sometimes the spirits come through, sometimes they don't. If they do, I won't remember it, but I'll record what they say on tape. I can discuss it with you, but I won't necessarily understand it, and the message is often very brief and cryptic. If they don't come through, there's no obligation and you don't owe me a thing. Okay?"

Weird, that was very similar to the way Tessa operated, though Micah's assistant had never claimed the voices were spirits.

Duh. I should have seen it before—she looked just like Tessa, except for the hair. Without thinking, I blurted out,"You're a soothsayer demon, aren't you?"

WONDERED IF YOU'D PICK UP ON THAT, Fang said with a grin. SHE'S DEFINITELY SOME KIND OF DEMON—I CAN HEAR HER THOUGHTS.

Her face paled and she jumped out of her chair, her hand at her throat."Wha-what are you saying?"

"It's okay," I soothed her."I'm a demon, too. And my dog is a hellhound."

She glanced wildly between the two of us."You need to leave now."

WHOA, BABE, Fang cautioned me. I'M NOT SURE SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS.

I worked on looking as unthreatening as possible."I'm sorry, I guess I made an assumption. Don't you know what you are?"

"I'm a Witch, and a psychic," she said with an unsteady laugh."There's no such things as demons."

From the nervousness in her voice, I gathered she did know what she was, but didn't want to admit it.

OR SHE'S BEEN TOLD TO KEEP IT HIDDEN, Fang suggested.

Definitely a possibility. How could I convince her I knew what I was talking about?"It's okay," I said gently."There are a lot of other demons in San Antonio. In fact, I know one who has the same gift you do."

"That's not possible," she said,"Mama said we're the only—" She broke off and covered her mouth, looking as though she regretted revealing her secret.

Fang trotted over to place a gentle paw against her calf. MAYBE YOUR MAMA DIDN'T KNOW.

She stared at him in disbelief, then at me, her eyes wide.

"I did mention he was a hellhound," I reminded her."That means he can telepathically connect with demons."

She sat back down gingerly, as if she were afraid her world would shatter if she moved too fast. ―I—I don't know . . ."

" . . . what to say?" I guessed.

She nodded, still looking stunned.

SHE CAN'T BELIEVE SHE CAN ACTUALLY TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS. SHE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO TALK TO ANYONE SINCE HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY, Fang told me privately.

"You don't need to say anything," I told her."Have you heard of the Demon Underground?"

She shook her head.

I grinned at her."Well, it's full of people just like you and me."

"You're a soothsayer?"

"No, I'm a succubus, but I have a friend who's a soothsayer. She's in the Underground, too."

"I don't understand," Marina said, looking as though she were having a hard time taking it all in."What does the Underground do?"

"We help other demons keep their presence a secret, help them find jobs, and generally give them someone else to talk to about what it's like being part demon in a human world. Oh, and I haven't been in it for very long, but they seem to have lots of parties."

She sighed."It sounds wonderful." She glanced back and forth between us."You aren't putting me on, are you?"

NOPE, Fang confirmed. IT'S ALL TRUE.

She jumped, seeming unnerved whenever Fang spoke to her."Hold on," I said."Let me call Tessa and she can give you some more info." I dialed the club and was glad when Tessa answered. ―Hey, Tessa, I think I found your long-lost cousin or something."

"My what?"

"Hold on." I didn't want Marina to think we were trying to scam her or anything."I'll hand the phone to her and you can tell her what you are."

"Are you sure?" Tessa asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. Just trust me, okay?"

"Okay," Tessa said.

I handed the phone to Marina and said,"Ask her what she is."

Marina took the phone gingerly."He-hello?"

Wanting to give her some privacy, I wandered over to look out the window as she held a conversation with Tessa.

Fang joined me. I CAN TELL YOU WHAT THEY'RE SAYING.

I know, but I prefer to give her the illusion of privacy, okay?

YOU GOT IT.

After about half an hour of me pretending to stare out the window and trying
not
to listen to their conversation, Marina finally handed me the phone and said,"Thank you. Tessa explained all about the organization and invited me for dinner at Yule. It was wonderful to talk to someone else who understands."

"You're welcome," I said and took back my phone."I remember how glad I was to find other people like me. It's a relief."

"Yes. I'm sorry I was so skeptical at first."

We both sat back down."Not a problem. I totally get it. I'm just sorry I hit you with it like that."

She shrugged."It worked out. So, I assume you didn't come here to invite me to join the Underground. Do you still want a reading? It's on the house."

"No, actually, I wasn't looking for a reading. I was hoping to get some information." She looked surprised and I hurried to assure her,"I was planning on paying you for it."

She waved that away as if it were inconsequential."Don't worry about that. I owe you. What do you need to know?"

"You practice Wicca?"

She nodded. "I do. I really resonate with the beliefs. Plus, it's helped me . . . blend in to a community."

She'd been luckier than me in that respect."Do you have a Book of Shadows?"

"Yes, of course."

"We're looking for some information on three books that are something like a Witch's Book of Shadows. Have you ever heard anything about the
Encyclopedia Magicka?
" I explained what I knew of it.

She thought for a moment, then shook her head."I don't remember anything offhand. I've become a bit of a scholar on Wiccan ways, and I don't recall ever seeing anything like that mentioned."

Rick had sent me to the right person."Maybe it was called something else?"

She thought for a moment."I don't think so . . . but I can look."

"How about a keeper or a mage demon?"

"Not that I recall, but let me do a little research and I'll get back to you." She looked chagrined that she couldn't help me.

"Okay," I said, trying to mask my disappointment. "Here's my number." I scribbled it down. "Call me if you find anything out, or if you just want someone to talk to."

I handed her the piece of paper with my number on it and our hands brushed. As they did, Marina's eyes went flat and blank. Grabbing my wrist, she uttered a prophecy . . . the second one I'd ever received in my life.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

An hour later, I was home, still puzzling over the prophecy. "Seek not, lest you find more than you bargained for. Keep not, lest you are prepared to meet your destiny."

It seemed to tell me I shouldn't look for the books unless I was prepared to accept the consequences, and I shouldn't keep them unless I was okay with meeting my destiny. What did that mean? Was that a veiled way of saying I'd die if I found and kept the books? Or was my "destiny" something else?

That was the problem with these soothsayer prophecies—their meaning was never clear until after the prediction came to pass. I sighed. I couldn't be sure what it meant, so the best thing was to ignore it and continue on like I'd never heard it. I looked through the book Rick had given me. No listing for the
Encyclopedia Magicka a
nd nothing useful. So, I booted up Gwen's computer in the corner of the living room and tried to figure out what the voice wanted me to look up.

I tried an Internet search for "
Encyclopedia Magicka
" first, and the only things that came up were references to role-playing games. I searched again for people trapped in books and got nothing but fiction. A search for "mage demon" brought more game stuff. And searching for a keeper of books was hopeless—scads of listings about accountants, but nothing about a keeper for magickal books.

I kept trying different combinations and different ways of saying the same thing, plus any other word combinations even close to what I was looking for, but it seemed to all be fiction, no fact. Then again, did I really expect to find factual accounts of demons on the web where anyone could see it?

Searching for"Book of Shadows" gained me a lot more information, including a mention of grimoires. Since both these types of books contained magickal spells, they were close to the
Encyclopedia Magicka. B
ut while reading about how to create them was interesting, I didn't see anything that would help me find the ones that were missing. And there was nothing about mage demons writing their own grimoires.

Fang yawned, bored with the hours I'd spent searching. MAYBE THIS GAME STUFF IS A DECOY,

OR A CODE TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK IT'S ONLY FICTION.

I shrugged. Couldn't hurt to check. I pored over the rules of a bunch of games, trying to find one that fit the way the real demon world worked, but no luck. Each seemed to have inconsistencies that made me cross it off the list.

Finally, feeling eye strain—not to mention butt strain—I quit for awhile. Sheesh, this was harder than hunting the streets.

Fang stretched. I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THIS VOICE OF YOURS IS BOGUS. WHY DIDN'T IT SAY
WHAT
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOOK UP?

"Because Kyle interrupted it when he messed with my dreams." THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY DREAMING AGAIN.

Maybe. But the voice only seemed to be able to reach me when I was doped up or unconscious . . . or hanging out in that still, private place within myself.

SO USE THE CANDLE, ALREADY.

"I will . . . but let me give my butt a break first."

I got up and stretched, then searched for leftovers in the kitchen. With Gwen doing most of the cooking, there was always something good to eat in the fridge.

After we ate, I decided to try using the candle again. It was dark, so I set the candle on my nightstand, lit it, and turned off the lights. Sitting on the bed where it was softer on my backside, I stilled my mind as Micah had taught me and stared into the flame.

It became easier each time to go to that still, quiet place deep inside me. Without Lola to distract me, I visualized my favorite place in the world. In my mind's eye, I pictured myself sitting on the banks of the San Antonio River on the River Walk. The place was all mine, free of tourists, partiers, or people of any kind. I watched as the lazy waters of the jade green river flowed by, the soft breeze caressing my skin.

Peaceful, quiet, serene . . . perfect. I stayed there for awhile, just enjoying the unaccustomed tranquility. When I felt it was time, I opened my mind and my heart to receive any messages that might be waiting for me. After a time, I heard a whisper, so faint I almost didn't catch it.

Tell me what you want me to know, I
urged.

But though the voice became a little louder, I couldn't catch every word.
Must . . . me . . . be
fore . . .

What? I
concentrated harder, hoping the voice would become more clear.

The voice tried two more times before I finally got the full message. You must find me before Trevor Jackson does.

So it
was
the books talking to me! W
here are you?

In the—

The voice abruptly cut off. This time, the sudden termination wasn't me, wasn't anything I'd done. I was still in the trance. What had happened to cut our communication? I stayed by the river in my mind a while longer, open and receptive, but the voice didn't return.

Disappointed, I finally withdrew and brought myself back to awareness of the here and now. And, as I lay back on the bed, I became aware of all my aches and pains. The wound in my side was almost healed, but still ached. My head still hurt a bit from where Micah had walloped me, but the worst part was the energy conduits that Lola used and my abused chakras. They still felt seared and overly sensitive. And I was still weaker than normal, not quite back up to full slayerish capacity.

So this was what it was like to feel human . . . vulnerable . . . fragile.

I wasn't sure I liked it much.

Lola was hiding down deep somewhere, which was odd but good. I couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been everpresent, always empty, always seeking more male energy, even when she was totally satisfied. But now, it was as if she was curled around the pain of the backlash, hiding from the boogie man, afraid to come out.

And, speaking of that backlash and what had caused it, why wasn't I more upset? This wasn't natural. It wasn't like Mood was around to control my emotions. Or was she? Upset, I sat up, prepared to call Micah and demand to know what was going on.

Fang spoke from beside the bed. CHILL. IT'S NOT MOOD—IT WAS KYLE.

"The dream demon? What did he do to me?"

HE PLANTED A SUGGESTION IN YOUR DREAMS SO YOU WOULDN'T FREAK OUT ABOUT WHAT YOU DID. HE TRIGGERED IT BY PATTING YOU ON THE SHOULDER WHEN HE SAW HOW UPSET YOU WERE.

And now that I knew that, the dam broke and the emotions poured back in."Damn it, he had no right."

MICAH ASKED HIM TO. HE DIDN'T WANT YOU WORRYING ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU WERE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.

For some reason, that just ticked me off."I can handle it just fine."

NOT FUN WHEN YOU'RE ON THE RECEIVING END, IS IT?

I glared at him. "Shut up."

IS THIS YOU HANDLING IT? 'CAUSE I GOTTA SAY, BABE, IT SURE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Why was I letting the hellhound get to me? Maybe because the sudden flood of overflowing emotions needed some outlet? Hell, I couldn't just sit here and let them overwhelm me. I had to deal with them somehow.

Grabbing my stakes, I headed for the Valkyrie.

Where you going? Fang asked as he trotted close behind me.

"I don't know. Out."

WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING WITHOUT ME. SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU GROUNDED.

"Whatever," I muttered. At the moment, I didn't care. I just needed to deal with these emotions churning inside me. Fear . . . shame . . . anger . . . they all warred for dominance.

Fang jumped up into his sheepskin-lined seat on the back of the bike. CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THE GOGGLES? I THINK I'M GONNA NEED THEM.

Impatiently, I strapped the goggles on over his head to keep the wind out of his eyes, then swung my leg over the seat and started the bike, revving the engine. I poured all of my frustration into gunning it the hell out of there, and as soon as I got on Highway 10, I sped up until I barreled along at breakneck speed, blowing the last of the cobwebs out of my brain. I couldn't worry about the emotions. All my concentration went to controlling the bike, fighting the wind and dodging other drivers on the dark highway.

I did just fine until we came up on the town of Seguin, and Fang warned me the police would likely be patrolling near the town. His warning came just in time. As I slowed to the speed limit, I saw a cruiser parked alongside the highway.

FEEL BETTER NOW? Fang asked.

Since he wasn't snarky for a change and actually sounded like he cared, I said,"Not really."

DID YOU HAVE, YOU KNOW, AN ACTUAL REASON FOR COMING HERE?

I sighed.
No, I just wanted to clear my mind. B
ut it hadn't gotten us any closer to finding the books.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK YOUR PROBLEMS OUT WITH SOMEONE INSTEAD OF STEWING ABOUT IT, HE SUGGESTED.

I thought about it."Maybe." Yeah, I should talk to Micah. He'd be the most likely to understand, since he had the same kind of issues I did.

Fang nuzzled me. IT'S WORTH A SHOT. I HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF SORTS.

I smiled. So now I was supposed to do it for the hellhound's sake? I could deal with that. I pulled off the highway to get gas and something to eat and drink, then headed back to Club Purgatory.

On the way, I tried not to dwell on the fear lurking within me, thinking instead how nice it would be to take a vacation. I preferred taking a cruise to somewhere they didn't have demons or vampires, but Fang claimed that kind of place didn't exist. Besides, dogs weren't allowed on cruises, and he deserved a vacation too. We batted some other ideas back and forth, agreeing to avoid long flights when he'd have to be caged, and opting to go somewhere we'd never been. Since that was pretty much everywhere outside of Texas, there was lots to choose from. Maybe San Francisco, Taos, or Colorado Springs. They all sounded like great places.

When we arrived at Club Purgatory, we'd finally agreed to take a long driving vacation and make a loop to wander through New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, California, and Arizona to see the sights. It sounded like fun, but now that I was at the club and off my bike, I was wrenched back into the everyday world. Taking off Fang's goggles, I said wistfully,"Maybe someday."

Fang nuzzled against me for a moment. LET'S PLAN ON IT . . . ONCE YOU'VE MET ALL YOUR OBLIGATIONS.

Yes, that was the problem, wasn't it? My obligations. Sheesh, I was only eighteen. I wasn't
supposed
to have this many obligations. Not only was I contracted to the Movement until the books were found and the vamps came out, but the demons seemed to want to use me as a sort of enforcer, the Special Crimes Unit still wanted me to train vampire hunters, and my parents thought I should set a good example for my half sister. Would it never end?

Fang jumped down off the bike. HEY, THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A GROWNUP.

Even grown-ups get vacations, I
reminded him, feeling sulky.

THEN LET'S FIND THE BOOKS AND HELP THE MOVEMENT COME OUT TO THE WORLD SO WE CAN TAKE ONE.

Good plan. But first, I needed to talk to Micah. I went in through the back and headed through the fake flames and hell theme of the club to his office, feeling the deep, thrumming beat of the music in the club. I'd never really been drawn to that scene, maybe because none of my friends were. But the clubbers all seemed to be having fun . . . I envied them for that.

Micah's office door was open, so I went in. He was working on some kind of paperwork. The simplicity of his office was a nice contrast to the drama of the club.

"Hi," he said."Come to visit?"

I shrugged."Just kind of need someone to talk to. Do you have time?"

"Of course," he said, and came around the desk to close the door, then sat in one of the side chairs."What do you want to talk about?"

"I just realized Kyle made me . . . stop feeling things."

Micah grimaced."I'm sorry. I knew you'd be upset, but I figured it was for the best at the time. Fang said you'd blame yourself for losing control."

I glanced down at Fang, but he gave a sort of doggie shrug and laid down with his head on his paws. Oh well, it didn't matter. I was all over my mad, and I knew they were just trying to help. "Who else is there to blame?"

"Blame for what?" Micah asked softly."You saved a lot of lives that night . . . vampires and demons alike."

"I lost control, Micah. I
enjoyed
it. If you hadn't stopped me, I would have killed all the men there."

"But I did stop you."

"What if you hadn't been there?"

Micah shook his head."You don't get it yet, do you?"

"Get what?" What was there to get?

"That's what the Demon Underground is
for.
Sure, we help each other find jobs and provide others to socialize with like ourselves, but we're here primarily to help each other deal with our gifts." He could obviously tell I was puzzled, so he added,"You're not alone, Val. There's not one of us here who hasn't been tempted to use our powers in a way others would find unacceptable. We help each other to be strong, to get beyond that temptation, to be better people."

"I—I didn't realize."

"What it means is that you don't have to go it alone, that we're here to back you up . . . just as you back us up."

Sheesh, and here I'd been whining about my obligations to the Underground. Made me feel kind of stupid.

YOU'RE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF, Fang said. LISTEN TO MICAH.

"I get what you're saying," I told Micah."But that doesn't change the fact that if you hadn't been there, I would've killed a lot of people."

"I doubt it. If I hadn't been there to control the women, they would have stopped you. Or Fang would have found a way."

YEAH, Fang said. IF ROSA HAD CAUGHT YOU ABOUT TO DRAIN ALEJANDRO DRY, I DON'T THINK SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN AS GENTLE AS MICAH IN STOPPING YOU.

I hadn't even thought about that. For some perverse reason, that made me feel better. Fang was right—Rosa and the other women would definitely have kept me from taking everything. Grimacing, I said,"I guess I owe you one, cuz."

He grinned."I don't think so. After all, you saved my life and have helped the Underground in many other ways. I probably still owe
you
."