Family Wanted (Willow's Haven Book 1) (14 page)

Isabella wiped her cheeks, cleared her throat and then placed a hand on his forearm. “Are you okay?”

Again, he nodded, though he was more confused than okay. But he now had to agree with Isabella’s words. Nan had loved Titus and Savannah very much.

“Can I get you something?” she asked. “Maybe something to drink? I could make some tea.”

He truly appreciated her wanting to help him deal with the blow of still not knowing what happened. “Some tea would be great.”

She lifted the photo of Nan holding Savannah in the hospital before placing it back on the table and heading inside for the tea.

Titus also looked at that photo and at the wedding picture, and at every other item. Then he reached for the last thing in the box, Nan’s weathered Bible. And as he lifted it, he noticed several papers sticking out from within the pages. He placed the Bible in his lap and opened it to the first thick paper, which he now saw was an envelope, with a single name in Nan’s swirling handwriting in the center—
Titus.

And once again his heart thudded solidly in his chest. Taking a deep breath, he withdrew the single sheet of paper from the envelope and began to read.

Dear Titus,

Hurting you was the last thing I ever intended to do. Sometimes, God gives us tough decisions to make, and maybe I made the wrong one. I thought I could handle anything, that we could handle anything, but I learned my limitations. Leaving you and our precious Savannah wasn’t something I’d have ever anticipated, but I also didn’t want you to watch what I knew would happen over the next months. Months that, as it turns out, have turned into years.

As I’m writing this letter, I know that my time here is nearly over. I can feel God calling me home. It has been almost three years since I left our home and walked away from the two people I love more than any others, you and Savannah. I never ever stopped loving you. I want you to know that. I didn’t think I’d be here this long away from you. But God kept me here longer than the doctors had thought possible, and for that I am grateful, because it gave Him time to answer my most vital prayer.

I’ve met someone...

Titus read the next lines with undeniable shock. “No,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “No.”

The screen door creaked as Isabella exited carrying two glasses of iced tea. She started toward Titus, still holding the letter in his hand and looking at the second woman who’d totally crushed his heart.

“You...” He forced the word from his throat, his head hammering so fiercely he wasn’t sure he could finish, but he couldn’t stop now, “You—knew Nan.”

The glasses shattered as they collided with the porch, tea and ice splashing at her feet amid the broken glass.

“Titus,” she said, her eyes wide with panic as she stared at the letter in his hand, “I’m—so sorry. I wanted to tell you. I almost did, but I thought—I thought if you just opened the box, then you’d know everything that...”

He shook his head. “Stop. If you’d wanted to tell me, you would have. No more lies, Isabella. I’ve had enough for a lifetime, and I don’t need any more from you.”

“Titus,” she breathed, “please, let me explain. Please.”

She wanted to explain? Explain what? Listening to him talk about his wife, about his confusion over her leaving and about how painful it had been having her leave without any explanation.

When Isabella knew exactly why she had left?

“You can’t explain. There’s no explanation for you keeping that from me, none at all.”

“Titus, I care about you, and I care about Savannah,” she said, her tears flowing fiercely now.

It infuriated him that, even now, knowing she’d lied the entire time she’d been in Claremont, he still didn’t want to see her cry. “We don’t have anything else to talk about, Isabella.”

Then, for the second time in his life, a woman that he loved walked away.

The difference was...this time he had to watch her go.

Chapter Fourteen

But true love can also bring pain.

A
s he’d done several times throughout yesterday afternoon, last night and this morning, Titus reread Nan’s letter, specifically the part that had completely thrown his world off-kilter.

I’ve met someone...she’s become the sister I never had, a true friend that has been with me through the worst of this disease. Her name is Isabella Gray, and I honestly think God sent her to me as an answered prayer. Three years ago, I was given six months to live. And the doctors believed those six months would be a rapid deterioration of my quality of life, something that would undoubtedly be difficult on me and my family.

I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want your memories of me to include watching me die. I wanted you to remember the happy times, the love that we shared. When I learned what was happening, I didn’t know how to tell you the truth, and I didn’t want to lie. So I left.

And I prayed.

I prayed for God to watch over you and Savannah, and I prayed for Him to somehow let me know that you would both be loved, the way I had planned to love you, always. I wanted to be a good wife. I wanted to be a good mom. But if I couldn’t be with you, then I wanted someone there who would love you the way that I would.

Isabella is a beautiful person, inside and out. By now, you’ve met her and have seen the sweet spirit that I’ve known for the last six months. She has so much pain in her past, and she deserves love. Titus, she deserves you. Isabella has never had real love. She’s never had the love of a man who loves completely, like you do. And she’s never known the love of a child. I know she will fall in love with Savannah. And in all honesty, she’ll be a wonderful mother. No, I don’t want Savannah to forget me—I have left my wedding rings for her, as well as a letter that I want you to give her on her wedding day. But I want her to have a mother figure after I’m gone, and I do believe God sent Isabella to me to fulfill my request, to let me know that you and Savannah would be loved.

If I’d have known then—when I left—what I know now, I would have stayed longer. I have lived well past the time they’d given, but then I would have risked you seeing me die. And I didn’t want that.

I’ve included a letter for Isabella, too. Please give it to my dear, sweet friend. My heart has never been so torn. I pray Savannah will forgive me. I pray you will forgive me, too. And I pray that Isabella will forgive me. I lied to her. I am not proud of this truth, but I knew if I’d told her we were still married, she’d have called you during these final months. She’d have wanted you to get the chance to say goodbye. And I didn’t tell her about Savannah for the same reason. Isabella didn’t know her own parents. She was orphaned, and her story tore at my heart. So I knew she’d want Savannah to say goodbye, too. I pray she’ll understand that I didn’t want you to see me this way, frail and sick and at death’s door.

Please, Titus, remember how much I loved you, because I never stopped. Remind our little girl that I loved her dearly, and I always will. And, if God did send Isabella to me because she’s meant for you, love her. Don’t hold back because of me. I want you to be loved. It’s what I always wanted, honestly.

True love brings happiness, more joy than I’d have thought possible. But true love can also bring pain. Leaving you was more painful than any disease. But loving you and loving Savannah has seen me through.

I do love you,

Nan

Titus placed the envelope for Savannah’s wedding day in the box with the other items. He picked up the third envelope that Nan had left in her Bible and stared at the name on the outside.

Isabella.

If he were a revengeful man, he’d keep the letter. She’d withheld the truth about Nan from him since the day they met. He could withhold this truth from her...if he were an unforgiving man.

And if, throughout the night, he hadn’t continued to remember her crying and leaving.

He wasn’t ready to see her, wasn’t ready to forgive her, not yet. But Nan had admittedly lied to her, and Isabella, like Titus, deserved the truth. He grabbed his truck keys and the final letter and headed out the door.

* * *

Isabella placed another blouse in her suitcase. She was no longer crying because she had no tears left. And she’d almost finished packing, preparing to leave the town and the people she cared so much about. And the man she’d come to love.

You knew Nan.

She couldn’t get Titus’s words, or the pain they’d held, out of her mind or her heart. Why hadn’t she told him the truth? And what had Nan said in that letter?

Obviously, Isabella couldn’t stay here. To be near Titus and Savannah would only remind her of what she’d never have. A real family. She’d had a tiny glimpse and had even, over the past day, had a glimmer of hope that it might be part of God’s plan, that she would finally have the kind of family she’d dreamed of, with Titus and Savannah.

But that wasn’t His plan, and she’d been foolish to think that she could’ve gone forward with any kind of relationship with Titus when she’d lied to him from the day she met him. She hoped Savvy understood why she could no longer work at Willow’s Haven.

A knock at her door caused her to drop the next blouse. She crossed her room and found Annette Tingle, the sweet lady who ran the B and B with her husband, on the other side.

“You didn’t want breakfast this morning?” she asked.

Isabella shook her head. Her stomach had been so upset since she left Titus yesterday afternoon that she couldn’t even think of eating. “No, ma’am,” she said.

Annette frowned at the suitcase on the bed. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

“I was going to tell you later,” Isabella said, struggling to make her voice sound as normal as possible, as though she had some idea of where to go and what to do when she left Claremont. In truth, she suspected she’d head back to her apartment in Atlanta and mourn the loss of yet another important person in her life. This time, it wasn’t her best friend, but the man that she truly believed she’d started to love. And the little girl who had completely claimed her heart.

“Oh, my, we sure will miss you around here,” Annette said. She held up an envelope. “Maybe that’s why Titus dropped this off for you?”

Isabella focused on the envelope, and her name written on the outside. That was not a man’s handwriting, and she suspected she knew exactly who’d written it. “Thank you,” she managed, her hand trembling as she accepted the envelope from Annette and then closed the door.

Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, she opened the envelope and read the words from her friend.

Dear Isabella,

By now, I am sure you have met Titus and our precious Savannah. I have no doubt you were confused and surprised to learn that Titus and I weren’t divorced, as I led you to believe. Please forgive me. I deceived you, and I hate that I did that to someone who I adore so much. You are the sister I never had, the best friend I always wanted, and I love you, truly.

Knowing your past, the pain of your childhood without parents and the struggles of your marriage to Richard, I knew you wouldn’t understand why I didn’t want to see Titus now, why I didn’t want to see Savannah. I knew you’d want them to be able to say goodbye, but please try to understand. I couldn’t bear the thought of them seeing me like this. I want them to remember me the way I was, the way we were, when I was healthy and happy and whole.

The doctors couldn’t understand why I continued to live, when every test and every statistic said I shouldn’t be here now. But I know why I’m still here. I prayed to God to show me that Titus and Savannah would be loved, and He sent you. I know that with all of my heart, and I want you to know that, should you and Titus find the love that I believe you can share, I am happy for you, happy for him and most definitely happy for my dear, sweet Savannah.

Love them, Isabella. And know, always, that you were a true friend and that you were also loved by me.

Nan

Isabella thought she had no tears left, but she’d thought wrong. They pushed free now, with the knowledge of how very much she was loved by her friend and how terribly she’d messed up in not telling Titus the truth. Nan had known she’d fall in love with Titus. She’d known that she’d love Savannah. And she’d sent Isabella to Claremont with the purpose of setting that love in motion while believing that God had answered her prayer.

But Isabella hadn’t been able to tell him the truth, and because of that, she’d hurt him. She couldn’t stop seeing his face with that pained, tormented expression as he held Nan’s letter.

Nan’s departure had stabbed his heart deeply, but Isabella’s betrayal twisted the knife.

How could she have so terribly hurt the man she cared about more than any other?

She folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope and turned it to look at her name in Nan’s handwriting. In spite of being hurt by Isabella, Titus had brought her this letter. Obviously, he hadn’t forgiven her, because he’d merely left the letter with Mrs. Tingle. But he’d still brought it, which meant that maybe, deep down, he still cared.

Isabella looked at the suitcase on the bed. She didn’t want to leave Claremont, didn’t want to leave Willow’s Haven, or Savvy and her other new friends, or the church that felt like home. She didn’t want to leave the sweet little girl who reminded her so much of herself. And she didn’t want to leave Titus.

Love them, Isabella.

“Oh, Nan,” she whispered, “I already do.”

She closed her eyes and prayed,
God, give me the courage to do what I need to do. And Lord, if it be Your will, let him find it in his heart to forgive me.

Then she started toward the door.

* * *

Titus hadn’t known his destination after he left Nan’s letter for Isabella at the B and B, or at least he hadn’t thought he had a destination in mind. Yet his truck never veered from the path that brought him here, and in his heart, he’d known where he was going all along.

Sitting on a pew in the center of the church that had always been such a fundamental part of his life, Titus couldn’t fathom how, when he hit rock bottom, he hadn’t come here first, hadn’t turned to God when he needed Him most.

Nan said in her letter that she prayed for him to love Isabella. And Titus knew God had answered that prayer, because he did love her, truly. He’d done his best to fight it, to deny what he felt or downplay it as mere attraction, but he had no doubt that he had fallen in love with the woman who he now knew had befriended Nan. But the pain of her dishonesty was so fierce that he didn’t know if he could get past it.

He looked to the pulpit and could almost hear the phrase Brother Henry had used from time to time when talking about true forgiveness. “Too many people say they bury the hatchet and leave the handle sticking out.”

“God, help me here. I’ve been so mad at You, and I’m sorry. I’ve needed You more than ever, and I’ve been too stubborn to ask for help. I thought I could handle everything on my own, but I can’t, especially not now, with what’s happened with Isabella. Help me to move past the pain, Lord. And help me, dear God, to forgive. I—” he sucked in a breath at the power of the words “—I don’t want to lose her, too.”

He sensed more than heard the door to the auditorium slowly open, and when he turned he expected to find Brother Henry or one of the elderly women who cleaned the building. But, in spite of his recent defiance, God had obviously answered his prayer without hesitation.

Isabella timidly stepped into the auditorium, as though afraid he would tell her to leave.

That wasn’t happening. Never again. His heart, his soul, had ached ever since he watched her go yesterday, and he never wanted to see her leave again.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I should have told you the truth, and I didn’t.” She slowly walked down the aisle toward him, still acting as though she expected him to send her away. “And I started packing my things. I was going to leave and do my best not to hurt you by staying.” She moved closer, her head shaking as she added, “But I couldn’t. I don’t want to leave Claremont, don’t want to leave Willow’s Haven or Savannah or—” Her breath caught in a gasp as she reached his pew. “And I don’t want to leave you, Titus. I—I love you.”

Awed at how much he’d already missed her in his life, Titus stood, cupped her face in his hands and thought about everything he knew about this woman that God had undoubtedly placed in his life...through Nan. And about everything he still wanted to know. They were just starting their journey together, and he didn’t want it to end.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he said. “I knew that yesterday, but I was too angry and too hurt to stop you. But I can’t lose you, Isabella. I love you, too.”

Amazed at the instant flood of happiness in his heart, Titus knew he was exactly where he was supposed to be, in this church with Isabella in his life. And, after weeks of thinking about her and knowing how very much he cared, he wrapped his arms around her and tenderly kissed the woman he loved.

* * *

Isabella had often wondered what it’d be like to be in Titus’s arms. She’d dreamed about this kiss. And she’d prayed for his love.

It was better than she’d ever expected. And her excitement, happiness, pure unharnessed joy caused her to release a surge of delighted giggles as soon as the kiss ended.

Titus, obviously surprised by her reaction, asked, “I take it that means you liked it?”

She laughed. “I’m not sure. You may need to do it again.”

He did, and she could feel the smile on his lips through the kiss, because it totally matched her own. Oh, how God had blessed her with Nan’s friendship, and with Titus’s love.

Thank You, thank You, thank You.

Titus touched her chin. “You didn’t tell me how you knew I was here.”

She felt foolish now for what she’d done, but she’d tell him the truth, about this and about everything else from now on. “I went to your house, and when your truck wasn’t there, I drove around town until I found it.”

His laughter echoed through the auditorium. “Sure didn’t take you long to get used to small-town life, did it?”