Family Interrupted (33 page)

My one comfort: he trusted me with his precious daughter.

“Strong coffee is only part one and easily accomplished,” Jack continued, pulling alongside the McDonald’s drive-up window. “Part two is bigger than that. Driving fifty miles or more whenever Ian needs a babysitter is ludicrous. Look at this traffic, and the day’s barely begun.”

“That’s nothing new.” Was traffic not my “lame” excuse, according to Ian, for being late the day Kayla was killed?

“We’ve got to talk him into coming home,” said Jack, “where he’d get all the support he needs, but we can’t guilt him into it. We can’t use Tina as the excuse. So I’ve been thinking—thinking hard—and I have an idea.”

He always had ideas. I stroked his cheek, feeling his pain. My Cracker Jack longed for his son. Longed for the old rapport between him and Ian. Longed for Barnes Construction to sport another generation. Who could have foreseen he’d ever be jealous of a belching oil refinery?

“How would you feel,” said Jack, “about putting the house on the market and building elsewhere?”

I needed a moment. It wasn’t the first time I’d considered the idea and knew it wasn’t a gotcha remark on Jack’s part. I allowed the words to wash over me and sink in. Jack barely blinked as he waited for my reply.

“Leave Bluebonnet Drive?” I murmured. “Leave twenty years of our history there?” A kaleidoscope of family memories filled my mind. I heard the faint echo of Kayla’s footsteps in the halls. Clearing my throat once wasn’t enough. Finally, I could speak.

“Like you always say, Kayla goes everywhere with us—right here.” I tapped my chest. “I-I think she’d approve, if the rest of us could be a family again.”

Jack reached for my hand. “That’s exactly the point. I’m pretty sure the house is an obstacle to Ian. He once told me that he relives the accident every time he pulls onto the street. A new place might tempt him to move back with us, and the promise of a full fridge might seal the deal. If he’s concerned about privacy, we could plan a separate suite for him and the baby. What do you think?”

I didn’t have to think. “I want my son at any price. And besides, I bet you’ve already started a design.”

“I’m not taking your bet,” he replied with a laugh. “I love you, Claire. Thank you.” His kiss occupied us until the server coughed discreetly and thrust the coffee our way.

Jack paid, and we drove off in silence, each of us now lost in our own thoughts. Mine included the location of a new place.

“Jack?” I began almost hesitantly. “Have you considered the huge commute Ian would have if we stayed in this part of town?” Near Barnes Construction is what I meant. If Jack thought he could use those long miles to get Ian back in the family business, Ian would resent it.

“Let’s take one step at a time. At this point, he’s against living with us, and we don’t know if he’d consider coming home under any circumstances.”

His advice was perfect. One step at a time. Nowhere in our conversation, however, had Jack and I discussed the one obstacle Ian could not overlook: his mother. Knowing how he felt about me, I couldn’t picture him falling in with our great plans...and yet...and yet...I was excited by the tiny spark of hope Jack had kindled. I loved the whole idea, didn’t care about the location. Surely, the two of us as a team could make this happen.

#

“You’re babysitting too, Dad?” Ian asked while handing Tina over to me. My granddaughter grinned and chortled, and I fell more deeply in love with her, as I did with every visit. Five months was a perfect baby age, or maybe being a grandma fit me like a comfortable sweater.

“Not only babysitting but I’ve got some business not too far away,” Jack said. “Some parcels I’m looking at.”

Ian’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say much except good luck and thanks for coming especially because of his conversation with Mr. Parker yesterday. Then he rushed out the door.

“What conversation?” asked Jack.

I shrugged.

“Probably wants to make him president of the damn place. An offer he can’t refuse.”

“He’s not even twenty-one, Jack. I think you can relax. And by the way, what parcels of land are you talking about?”

He chuckled. “I have no idea yet. I’m just planting seeds of possibility—backed up by research. I brought my laptop.”

“Good. Let Tina help you type while I investigate other parcels—the ones in the fridge and freezer.” And scrub down the kitchen and gather up a laundry. There always seemed to be a wash that needed doing.

It took me less than ten minutes to complete my chores and plan a grocery run. In the living room, I saw Jack lying on the floor with Tina climbing up, down, and over his chest, both of them having a grand old time. The laptop sat unopened next to them.

“I’ll just mash up a banana...” I began when I felt the ground rumble and grabbed onto the doorposts. Jack wrapped the baby in his arms and rolled sideways, covering her with his body.

“What the hell?”

BOOM. BOOM.

Thunder in the apartment?

“Look, Claire! Look out the window.”

Plumes of smoke filled the sky. Flames shot upward. And dread settled in the pit of my stomach.

“Call Ian! Call him right now.” I took the baby and held my breath while Jack searched his pocket. His hand shook when he removed his mobile and connected with Ian’s. Weirdly, I heard a constant ringing in the apartment and followed the sound to the dresser in the bedroom.

“Oh, my God. He forgot his phone. What with being late and leaving in a rush, and now it’s here and ringing and he can’t reach us either, and what are we going to do?” I paced up and down then in circles. The baby began to cry. I cuddled her. “Shush, sweetheart. You’re fine. You’re fine.”

Comfort words came automatically until I heard the sirens wailing, and those wonderful possibilities for new beginnings Jack had spoken of earlier faded away, faded away like Kayla had faded. Darkness threatened. Blindly, I reached out a hand. “Jack?”

And he was there, one arm strong around my waist, the other now holding Tina.

“Breathe, Claire. In. Out. In. Out. Sit on the bed, head down.”

I followed orders. My vision cleared. “Thank you. Now, let’s go.”

“We can’t get near the refinery,” Jack said, practical as ever. “I’m turning the TV on.”

The news was just breaking on all local channels. No details available yet except for area residents to remain indoors until further notice in case toxic chemicals had been released into the air.

“So, we wait,” said Jack. “We’re not taking any chances with Tina’s lungs—or our own.”

He glanced at his watch, paced the floor, a restrained racehorse, chomping at the bit, wanting to run, run to his boy. Thirty long minutes later, we were free to go.

“We’ll head to the closest hospital. If anything happened, that’s where they’d take the injured.”

I’d already packed a bag with baby supplies—diapers, jarred food, bottles of milk and apple juice. Who knew when or where I’d be able to refill? We left the apartment and headed to the car. Other people were already gathering in the street.

“Not good, not good,” mumbled a man who’d seen younger days. “A surprise with all the safety measures.”

“What do you know?” Jack asked.

“Probably the same as whenever this happens,” was the reply. “Usually during a start-up, after a unit’s been down for maintenance. That’s when they need to take extra care.”

“Do you know which unit?” I asked, trying to remember the strange name Ian used—something starting with an
I
.

“Ian’s was down last month,” Jack said. “It’s not his. It
can’t
be his.”

The old man looked weary. “Good luck then. Sorry not to know more. We’re all waiting for information. But sometimes it don’t much matter. Depends on how bad. How many workers on site.”

Half sentences, sighs, head shakes. The old timer had seen it all.

“My boy’s in there,” said Jack sharply. “Where’s the hospital they’d take him to if he were hurt?”

While Jack conversed, I tucked the baby into her car seat, even managed to lock the belts correctly. And I chatted to her nonstop. Tina liked my nonsense, but frankly, talking kept me sane—by a thread.

“Good job, honey,” said Jack, as he started the car.

“Yeah.” But I’d run out of both baby and grown-up talk. My thoughts traveled back to other trips. To a hospital. Similar trips filled with similar dread.

Jack glanced over at me. “You’re too pale again, Claire. Don’t go there. Not there! Don’t get lost. Talk to me, damnit! Stay focused right here and now.”

He knew me well, but I knew him too. He’d flashed back to Kayla just as I had. “Are you a mind reader or something?” I tried to joke while taking deep breaths.

“Or something. Only with you.”

“We’ve gone down this path before,” I whispered. “Turn on the radio. Maybe we’ll get some new information.”

“There’s only one thing I want you to get. So listen up.”

I looked at him.

“We’re not shutting each other out no matter what happens. No separate worlds, Claire. We’re in this together. We communicate. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

He was right. Of course, he was right. “I love you, Jack.”

“That’s my girl.” He reached for my hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed every finger. “I love you right back, my Claire-de-Lune.”

I loved Ian too. My son. My first born. The boy who could make me laugh. The boy who made me proud. The boy Kayla had adored and trailed after whenever he allowed her. A wonderful big brother, Ian was now trying hard to be a great dad. Maybe he’d gotten some training time in with his sister—a practice round.

Too much thinking. Not enough doing. We weren’t the only ones driving to the ER, and our slow progress had me wringing my hands. The police had begun to set up barriers and direct traffic, leaving lanes open for ambulances and other emergency vehicles. My legs started to jiggle, my stomach rock-and-rolled as I felt my stress mounting.
Ian. Ian. Ian
. Two kids lost just wouldn’t be fair. Not fair at all. Please, please, please...no fatal injuries. Mercy, mercy for my son. Strength for us all. I sent up a prayer for every worker in the plant.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart.”

“You’re in charge of the baby,” I said. “I’m going after our son.”

IAN

Someone was yelling, high and loud, and I wished she’d stop. My head pounded. I couldn’t see beyond the curtain and didn’t want to. Just wanted to sleep and sleep. I closed my eyes, started drifting, and heard that voice again. This time, it sounded familiar.

“Where is my son? Ian Barnes? They said he was here. Now where is my son?”

Geez, Mom could wake the dead. If she didn’t quiet down, she’d be thrown out. Maybe I should answer her. Maybe Dad was here too. And the baby. I moved my lips.

“Mama?” Barely a whisper before I zoned out, dreaming crazy dreams about falling metal. Fire. Smoke. Then came a movie, a happy one where Kayla and I kicked a soccer ball in the backyard. No holds barred, we got a good workout; both of us dripped with sweat. A good time, a very good time. I felt myself smile.... I wanted to smile, but I needed to sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Mom right away. Sitting close, talking to me.

“He’s up! He’s up. Thank God, he’s up.”

Her smile was Jack-o-lantern wide. And her eyes were awfully shiny. “Are you laughing or crying?” My throat hurt, and I rubbed it.

“Both.” She turned toward Dad. “Did you hear that? His brain works.”

“Best brain in the family,” Dad said.

But there was only one thing on my feeble brain at the moment, headache or no headache. One thing that had been haunting me for the past two years. And if I were dying now, I had to get it off my chest. Again.

“I didn’t kill Kayla. It wasn’t my fault.”

Mom’s eyes got bigger than hubcaps. Her mouth quivered, and she took my hand. “Of course you didn’t. It was an accident. It really, truly was an accident,” she said. “Ian, Ian. I’m so sorry about what I said in the ambulance. I love you so much. Please, sweetheart, believe me.” She leaned over and kissed me gently on both cheeks.

“You do?” Ouch, my throat.

She looked like I’d punched her in the stomach. I thought she’d faint again. “Oh, my God, of course I love you. And I’ll love you forever and ever. Until...infinity!” She started to cry, and I had to blink away my own tears.

“Mom?”

“What, sweetheart?”

“I love you, too.”

Her smile was kind of shaky now, but it was real. Very real.

A nurse walked in just then, a nurse with energy and sharp eyes. I whispered, “If my brain is working, how come my head hurts and my throat?”

In an instant, everyone got quiet, and the questions started via the nurse, who held out water in a plastic cup with a straw. I drank.

“Do you know where you are?”

Duh. Where else but a hospital were there so many white jackets?

“Do you remember what happened before you arrived here?”

A trick question. I had to think hard. Very hard. And then I had it, the horror show. “The building shook. Vibrations like a thousand locomotives. An explosion. Everything blowing up.” I’d gotten to work late, so I was still checking in, wasn’t in the worst part. I turned on the hard bed, searching for my father.

“Dad! Dad! Where’s Ben Parker? You gotta find him. He was in the unit with the full shift. A fire. I saw the flames roaring up and up. A prototype...for hell.”

I could envision it again, and I was afraid. Chunks of metal blasted from their moorings, flying everywhere, even where I was checking in. And I’d stood there, a frozen target in death’s path, except for the words that had come quickly in that moment of moments. Words that mattered although no one could hear them but me:
Mama, I forgive you....

“Mama, I forgive you. I forgive you. And you have to forgive Sarah. She didn’t mean it. She’s a nice lady. She took care of Kayla....” My eyes closed, but the sound of my mom’s sobbing kept me from dozing off again. The touch of her hand holding mine comforted me, and I finally relaxed.

“How did you get so smart, son?” Dad whispered.