FAME and GLORY (31 page)

“Teach me to meditate.”

Those were the words she had been waiting for.  “Open the windows and close your eyes,” Janelle said quietly.

Brandee opened all of the windows of the van with the power window button on the driver's side door, letting the chilly morning breeze flow through the interior.  She turned again to face her passenger.

Janelle took both of Brandee's hands in hers, raising them to her own lips and kissing them.

“That's the blessing that starts us off,” she said.  “Now, take 13 deep and cleansing breaths.

Brandee closed her eyes.  Janelle touched Brandee's face and said, “Keep your eyes open during this part.”

“Sorry,” Brandee said quietly.

“Don't be sorry.  Be reaching for the power of the Creator Spirit.  She loves you.  You are Her own.”

Brandee breathed deeply.  Each breath felt more cleansing to her than the one before.  She felt herself growing lighter as she breathed.  Janelle spoke to her as she breathed her 13
^th
breath.

“Look inward.  Find the place where you heart meets your soul.”

Brandee looked down, but kept her eyes open this time.  She was conscious of the touch of Janelle's hand in hers.  Beyond that, though, she was conscious of her own breathing, deep and steady.  She was conscious of her heart's steady rhythm beneath her shirt.  The breeze flowing over her skin now felt warm and inviting.

Janelle's voice seemed to come from a distance.  “Release the toxins.  Release the anger and frustration.  Breathe them out.”

Brandee breathed deeply, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through parted lips.  She could feel her heart rate slow down perceptibly.

Janelle spoke again.  “Release the toxins.  Release the hurt.  Breathe them out.”

Brandee felt something come over her that she would later describe as enhanced relaxation.  She was in a greater state of peace than she could ever remember herself being.  She felt at peace, but not sleepy.  She was incredibly alert.

Janelle spoke again.  It sounded to Brandee like Janelle was speaking extraordinarily quietly, but that wasn't the case.  Everything that Janelle said was spoken in the same even tone.

“Release the toxins.  Release the fears.  Breathe them out.”

Brandee's respiration responded to the sound of Janelle's voice.  Brandee had begun to breathe out her fears before Janelle had stopped speaking.

“Now look up!” Janelle commanded.  Brandee obeyed.

“Look at me.  See the Mother Creator's spark in my eyes as it calls to your soul.”

Brandee nodded a little, barely breathing now.  Janelle continued.  “The Creator Spirit in all of us calls us to special times in special places.  This is our special time in this special place. Close your eyes!”

Brandee obediently dropped her lashes over her blue eyes, hiding them from her spirit guide.

Janelle moved to within eight inches or so of Brandee and spoke the words of illumination.

“Oh Creator Spirit.  Release this woman from the shackles that constrain her.  Bring a light into all that is Brandee Reneé Alexander.  Make of her the woman that she is called to be.  Enhance her beauty by your enchantment.  Expand her mind by your wisdom.  Increase her strength by your power.”

Janelle gently placed her finger under Brandee's chin and lifted it slightly, saying quietly, but with an intensity that showed in the fire that lit her eyes “Open your eyes, Child of The Holy Awakening!”

Brandee's lashes fluttered as she opened her eyes.  She would later say that at that moment she felt lighter and cleaner than she ever had in her life.  She looked at Janelle, inches away.  Brandee Evans closed her eyes again and covered Janelle's mouth with hers.

Janelle's lips parted instantly and her tongue met Brandee's.  Brandee, her advanced state of spiritual exaltation playing itself out in a burst of forbidden desire, reached behind Janelle's shoulders and drew her closer in passionate embrace.

***

The Nissan pulled into the parking lot of Araxa Gifts and Jewelry at about 3:00 PM.  Jake quickly found the items that he remembered Brandee admiring several months earlier.  A silver necklace stared back at him from the display case, with a sapphire and pearl trim tracing a winding path toward the center.  Nestled alongside the necklace was a matching pair of sapphire earrings.  Suzi was duly impressed.

“Breathtaking,” she said to Jake.  “Absolutely stunning.”

Jake was pleased.  He knew that Brandee had liked the piece, but it was nice to have his selection validated by another woman.  He asked the owner of the shop if she would gift wrap the item.  He didn't know when he would present it to his wife, but he couldn't wait to see her eyes when she opened the gift.

Bruce, though not having much experience with jewelry selection, nevertheless thought that Jake's gift was eye-catching.  He turned the box this way and that, admiring the way that the light caught the silver.

“Well played, my boy,” he said to Jake.  “You don't leave any doubt when you want to kiss and make up, do you?”

“She's my life, Bruce,” Jake said.  “Just like Suzi is yours.”

Bruce knew how Jake felt.  When he had first met Suzi, he was perfectly happy in the life that he had chosen.  He was playing music as often as he could, and that was enough for him.  Suzi opened up a door that Bruce hadn't known even existed.  He figured that he should probably get to know what was available in a jewelry store, and what Suzi would like to put on her finger.

“I'm going to follow Suzi around for a little bit, and see what makes her squeal,” he said to Jake, pretending to sneak up behind the guitarist, who was camped in front of the wedding set display.

Diane moved into the spot that Bruce had just vacated.  She had been admiring the piece that Jake had chosen since he first asked the owner if he could take a look at it.

“My ex used to say, 'You can't buy love, but with something shiny you can certainly rent it for an hour.'  Looking at that necklace, I think I knew what he was talking about,” she said to Jake.  “It's gorgeous.”

Jake laughed.  “You think Brandee will let me rent a little lovin'?”

Diane turned suddenly serious. “That woman is a damn fool if she lets the differences that you guys have get in the way for very long.  She's young, but young isn't always an excuse for stupid. I don't think she's stupid.  Stubborn for sure, but not stupid.”

Diane looked at her watch.  They still had almost a half hour to go and a lot of work before show time.  The time for looking at jewelry was over.

“Come on, gang.  We have to play some music!”

Jake, Suzi, and Bruce trailed Diane outside.  They looked at the sky and saw storm clouds coming from the west.

“Great,” Bruce grumbled.  “Back in California; back to playing in the rain.”

***

Brandee and Janelle were back on the road as well.  Janelle's face was flushed from her recent exertions, but her heart was overflowing.  She looked at Brandee, who was being rather quiet as she steered the Sprinter up Highway 101.

“What are you thinking about?” Janelle asked.

Brandee shook her head as if to clear it.  She found herself at a loss for words.

“Nothing, I guess.”

Janelle was far from satisfied with that answer.  After what she and Brandee had just experienced, she felt like she had a true need to know what was on the singer's mind, even if it wasn't good.

“Are you upset with me?” she asked in a suddenly small voice.

Brandee paused for a moment before answering.  “It isn't that.  I'm just confused.  I just cheated on my husband; I don't take that lightly.  I've never cheated on him before.”

Janelle put her hand on Brandee's left shoulder, rubbing it gently.  She could feel tension in the singer's muscles.  “I love you, darling.  If you love me, that changes everything.”

Brandee looked at Janelle.  She saw the deep emotion there that confirmed her words.  She wanted to be as honest with Janelle as she could.  First, though, she had to sort out in her own mind what would be the honest thing to say.

“You're very special to me, Janelle.  I felt a deep peace back there when you taught me to meditate.  I felt the presence of The Creator Spirit.  I also wanted to be close to you in the way that we were.  That's why I'm so confused.  I love my husband.  I just kind of feel like I need you, too.  Does that sound selfish?”

Janelle breathed a sigh of relief.  Part of her had been afraid that Brandee might be so stricken with guilt that she would send Janelle away.  Now she felt like that danger wasn't there.

“We're seeking a greater meaning for our lives.  Both of us.  That's why I love you, Brandee.  You're the rest of me!”

Brandee nodded.  She and Janelle were attached on a meaningful level.  What did that even mean, though?  What about Jake?  She had a lot to think about and a show to do.  What a day it had been, and it was only half over.

***

Brandee
was performing as the entertainment following the Tough Truck Demolition Derby at the Del Norte County Fairgrounds.  The mobile stage was to be brought to the middle of the rodeo grounds after the vehicular chaos, which didn't leave the members of
Brandee
with much to do in the hours preceding.  The normal acoustic and sound checks were impossible, so the performers spent about a half hour bringing their equipment to the covered storage area, checking it in with the security force that would be caring for it, and approximating their staging positions for the show that night, before heading for The Northwoods Inn. By this time, some of the jalopies that were going to be competing that evening were starting to roll up to the fairground entrance.

Even though the group hadn't been together for even an hour at the fairgrounds, Diane sensed that something was amiss.  Janelle had always pretty well kept to herself as the group set up.  She would carry the things that she was asked to carry, but beyond that she would stay quiet, almost like she didn't want to be noticed.  This was not the case in Crescent City.

The young newcomer seemed almost giddy.  She was giggling at everything Brandee said, no matter how inconsequential it was.  She marched around the rodeo grounds, not like a visitor, but like she belonged there.  Diane supposed that it was just a matter of being more used to being where the group was, but the drummer couldn't shake the feeling that Janelle was inserting herself where she didn't belong, by her attitude if nothing else.

Jake didn't notice anything different.  His mind was still on the item in his coat pocket.  He didn't know when he would give it to his wife, but he wanted it to be at exactly the right time.  Jake watched her from a distance during setup, anticipating how she would react to the present.

Crescent City, California sits in one of the great rain forests in America.  The people who come to the Del Norte County Fair were used to being entertained in the rain.  That, combined with the fact that
Brandee
was a much more polished group than they had been so many months ago in rainy Ukiah, made for a rocking good time.

Bruce Jackson was particularly on his game this night.  Maybe it was the smell of burning rubber that lingered in the air from the demolition derby; maybe it was just simply his night to be on, but whatever it was, he was flat shredding it at The Del Norte County Fair!

Brandee Evans fed off Bruce's energy.  She would never tell anyone, but she was still feeling the effects of the injury that she had suffered at Cache Creek two nights earlier.  Her natural stamina wasn't back yet, but the fact that Bruce was in such a nice groove helped the young singer to get over the mountains that she needed to climb vocally.

The cowboy-hat-wearing audience appreciated the work that
Brandee
was doing this night.  Word of mouth about the group had spread through the town since they had performed twice before at The Harbor View Grotto, and the crowd was not disappointed by what they heard.  One gentleman in particular, standing a ways apart from the bulk of the cheering crowd, nodded his appreciation for the group's performance.

Brandee Evans was not only a voracious little girl but also a tired little girl by the time her set was over.  She begged off from the clean-up duties in favor of trying to get an extra couple of hours of rest. She was hoping that by the time the caravan hit Eugene, Oregon the next day, she would be in better shape.  She and Janelle headed for the Northwoods Inn.