Fallout (69 page)

NOT MUCH TIME

To think it over. Still,

my first reaction was, “I can’t.”

Yes, you can
, he said.
I need

you. Don’t you understand?

I sat up. Glanced around.

No sign of bear nor blonde.

“We can’t just go. I love you,

Kyle, I really do, but …”

If you really love me, you’ll say

okay.
He reached out, grabbed

my face, turned it so I had to

look into his eyes.
Okay?

I started to protest. But then

I remembered something Dad

had told me not long before

Shreeveport took me away.

We were on the porch, and as

usual, he was smoking. I watched

a narrow stream of smoke lift

into the cold morning. Rarely

before had the idea of separation

stung so much. I guess because

of the relative closeness we had

lately discovered. Finally I asked,

“If you could do anything over, take

something back, what would it be?”

He thought for a minute or two,

and when he finally spoke, his

answer surprised me.
I guess

I would have tried harder to

convince your mother to stay

after she got out of prison.

I loved her enough to hope she

might fall back in love with me.

We were together for a while.

You were like two or something.

I would have done anything for her.

Maybe I didn’t let her know that.

I should have fought harder to keep

her. I’ll never love anyone else.

NOTHING TO LOSE

Unless I stayed. I think I surprised

both of us when I said, “Okay.”

I started to open the door.

Kyle stopped me, with a hand

on my arm.
Where are you going?

“I have to get my stuff. Everything

I own is in there.” Not that it

amounted to a whole lot.

No. We have to go right now.

We’ll get you whatever you need.

He was right. Going back inside

would have been a mistake.

I settled into the seat. “Let’s go then.”

His eyes lit with excitement.

I love you.
He kissed me sweetly.

Started the truck. Our adventure—

and neither of us had any idea

exactly what kind of adventure

it was or will be—had begun.

I only hope it means no regrets.

AS WE DROVE AWAY

I’m almost positive I saw Simone

glance out the bedroom window.

Not sure if she noticed me or not,

and can only hope she didn’t run

and tell right away if she did. Would

she have had the presence of mind

to take down the license plate?

Would she have seen the happiness

written all over my face and kept it

to herself? I feel sorry that she gave

me her secrets now. Sorry she won’t

have someone to whisper to in the night.

But you can’t get attached to anyone

in a foster home. I learned that lesson

a long time ago. Get close, get hurt.

She might as well learn that too.

LESS THAN A HALF HOUR

Away from Fresno, the weight

of our hasty decision hits me.

“Any idea where we’re going?”

Deceptively simple question.

Kyle sighs heavily.
Nope. I was

kind of hoping you might have

an idea. Any place you’ve

always wanted to see?

I slide my hand into his. “Lots.”

It is kind of exciting, just picking

a place and aiming for it. Except,

“What do you think they’ll do?”

He shrugs.
Depends on if they

think you were kidnapped or

split on your own. Hey, do you

suppose they’ll do an Amber Alert?

God, I never thought about that.

Kidnapping? “I don’t want you

to get into trouble. Maybe you

should just take me back.”

Zero hesitation.
No damn way.

I’m not sure where to go or how

we’ll get by, but one way or

another, we will be together.

APPROACHING THE FLAT FIELDS

Of Bakersfield, I can’t help but think

about home—Dad’s sorry old place.

Empty right now is my guess, with

Dad in lockup and Kortni most likely

working. Just in case, I make a test

call. No answer. “Take me home, okay?”

I don’t think that’s such a good idea.

Why do you want to go there?
But as

we near the exit, he slows down.

“I want to leave a note, tell them

I haven’t been kidnapped. And I know

where Kortni stashes her mad money.”

He hesitates, considers the note.

Just say you’re okay. Maybe that

you were afraid living back there.

Good idea. Even if Walter didn’t

do anything, making them think

he might have is a good excuse

for taking off. And it just might

keep him from taking a chance

on future bad behavior. Ka-ching.