Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (22 page)

I opened the door and faced the three amigos, waiting for me from across the room. I could see Marley off in the corner cleaning where I guess I had been laying.

“He’s still conscious, I thought he would be back on the floor twitching by now,” Doc said with a grin. He walked towards me and started shining a light in my eyes.
“Sit down boy, let us hold you down and put some wire into you and you can go home to your cave like the wild animal you are.”
“Oh you understand me Doctor.” I managed a smirk through my cut lips. His sarcasm seemed to break the sullen tension in my head. “Just hurry up, it’s been a long day.”
Greyson laughed, to my surprise he threw his arms around me and gave me a hug, I cringed and bit my lip to try and hide how much it fucking hurt.

“It damn sure has, promise you’ll tell us everything? I know better than to make you now,” he said gently patting my shoulders as he pulled away. I saw brushes of blood on his coat from where it had touched my back.

I sat down, and felt Leo start to mess with my ear. “Now I just want to hide out for a few days.” I muttered.
Greyson knelt down, I noticed he was holding his own hook and thread. Behind him, Doc was also brandishing his torture instrument. I hated these idiots being so close to me, but the faster I could appease their maternal instincts the sooner I could go home.

“Mom made you and Killian food, Reaver,” Marley said from the corner of the room.
I looked at her blankly. No one on the block had ever made me food before. Greyson seemed to notice my confusion.
“You’re a hero, Reaver,” Greyson said, I could feel a bit of pride in his voice. “Everyone likes Killian and were worried about you. They had their ears glued to the radio after myself, Leo and Reno came back without you.”
I grunted. It never occurred to me that the block would know about all of this, I guess it was obvious they would but it hadn’t registered with me before. I hoped they didn’t start thinking I had gone soft. I would make an effort to be even more of a dick to counter act it.
I would let Killian have the food, he needed it more than I did. Skinny little fucker.

Suddenly I felt a bit faint, I felt my head nod forward. It took Leo grabbing my neck for me to steady it.
“You have a concussion, probably a bad one,” Leo said. “Something exploded behind you didn’t it?”

“My C4, when they tried to get into the pod room,” I nodded, feeling Greyson steadying my head as Leo finished torturing my ear. I could also feel Doc putting stitches into my back. I still had my shirt on, yet I could feel his bare hands, so I knew I was missing most of my shirt and armor. I had a feeling I didn’t even want to know how bad it looked. I had taken a lot of the explosion onto my back. I remembered how much heat I had felt.
“When can I go home?” I asked wearily. “I need to do some drugs and get my head on right. I feel half dazed.” I blinked hard, Greyson was starting to split into two people. The whole damn room was, I started feeling a bit nauseous. I felt an overpowering urge to just go home. I had been going full throttle for a long time now. I was starting to feel myself crash, I was just burnt out and spent. I needed some pills, or some cocaine... fuck, I missed security and silence.
“Soon, just let us finish the ear and your neck, and you’ll be fine to go home,” Leo said.

“What about Killian?” I asked, I didn’t want to leave him here. I knew he was safe in Aras, but I just wanted to be close to him. Make sure he was okay, not having any bad dreams or anything.
“He’s better off than you are on the outside, Doc’s done some tests on him already.” Leo started, before Doc cut in.
“And I want more done too once he’s rested a bit.”

Leo nodded and continued. “ We can bring him down to your cave when he’s ready to be released. He won’t leave our sight until he’s safe with you.”
I heard Leo clip the thread and a few moments later I felt the sting of the antiseptic as it was poured onto my ear. I grinded my teeth as it drained down, covering my neck and back.
“Promise?” I grunted through clenched teeth.

“Promise.” Greyson got up and patted me on the shoulder, I was too tired to even cringe. I didn’t like the idea of leaving Killian at Doc’s but I felt better getting some drugs into me before he saw me. I was a wreck... I didn’t want him to see me weak.

Leo got up from behind me and started covering me in gauze. Greyson pushed a cloth sack into my hand.
“Disinfectant, food, all that crap. For you and him. You and Killian can also get first dibs on the merchants caravans, I think that’s your biggest haul to date!”
Leo let out an exasperated breath. “Greyson, don’t fucking joke about that.”
But the corners of my mouth were already raised in a smirk. My brain was damaged enough that I found the sick humor in it. After Leo finished bandaging me, I put my gun back over my back (very painful, I was missing a lot of skin and clothing) and picked up the cloth bag. I walked out of the doors and into the streets. I started cutting through the houses, trying to get to my house as quickly as I could. Fuck I missed my home.

A wave of anticipation went through me, as I realized what I had told Greyson and Leo. Bring Killian to my house when he was ready to leave Doc’s. The boy was going to see my house.
I hadn’t brought anyone new to my house. The ones who knew where it was were the ones that had helped me reinforce and wall it off. No one had seen my shitty basement before. My windowless basement was a dump compared to his obsessively clean two story house.
I stopped and leaned up against a dusty brick store front, I felt my chest become tight. I knew I was crashing, I knew reality was coming up to greet me. My whole world had changed in the past twenty four hours and it was about to change even more in the next twenty four. Killian was alive, I was alive... shit I was sure I was going to be dead. I was going to the legionnaires, and to the factory to die. I had expected to die. I hadn’t planned this far ahead. I didn’t even consider what would happen if I brought him back alive. I... I loved that kid.
My heart tightened even more, it started to hurt from sheer anxiety. I had always been solitary, it was my norm. I enjoyed being by myself, I only had one friend and two bosses who treated me like family. And I didn’t even like being around them for long periods of time. And the other people in my block? I fucking hated them, bunch of idiots, most of whom would be dead within half an hour of leaving the block. I protected them on the wall because it was my duty, but I laughed when they died. I was a sadistic mess, I never thought I would fall for someone because I didn’t even know what love fucking meant.
Until him.
I let out a sigh, and started walking again, the gravel crunching underneath my boots. My whole body ached, I could feel shrapnel in my back I knew I was going to have to dig out sooner or later. My head swam.
I had no idea what to do. My heart told me one thing and my head told me another. My head told me I was a monster, who wasn’t capable of loving anything, who fed off of people’s pain and suffering, who everyone feared.
But my heart told me I didn’t have a choice. It didn’t tell me what I should do, unlike my head. But every time I thought of Killian it filled me with such a weird good feeling that I knew I had to do something to maintain it. Touching him had just amplified that.
I chewed on my lip, remembering how it felt between my fingers. Just how I thought it would feel...

My head was scared, scared of hurting the kid, scared of being hurt myself. Like losing him had hurt, it had brought up so many fucked up emotions I lost my mind. I didn’t want to deal with that again, I hated that I couldn’t feel the good without the bad. It was a notion I wasn’t used too. Being emotionally dead had been so much easier. Seemed like this kid was a drug though, once you had that taste, good luck getting it out of your head. You would just keep upping your dosage until you became hooked. I had already started doing that.

I brushed my hand over my head absent mindedly, though I cringed as a jolt of pain ripped through me.
I remembered back to when he was gone, and I told myself to just stick to the basics like Greyson always said. Do the basic shit first and worry about the rest later. I had to do that now, stop complicating shit, stop over thinking shit. What were the basics now? Now that he was home safe in Aras.

Introduce yourself.
I let out a breath and crossed onto Stone rd, I started walking in-between the cars.
Easier said than done, he probably would say thank you, shake my hand and go back to his own life. He wasn’t interested... he couldn’t be, I was a maniac and everyone knew it. They might like me a bit more since I saved Killian, but they still despised me. No doubt everyone fucking warned him to stay away from me. Anyone with sense would have... I was over thinking for nothing. He probably just thought I was some weirdo following him.
I stepped off of a uneven slab of pavement and winced a bit as my foot buckled. As I stopped to rub it a bit, I heard foot steps behind me.
I paused, and they stopped.
I stood up and turned around.
I couldn’t believe it.
Killian stared at me like a scaver in a headlight, his bruised blue eyes wide. For a moment we just stared at each other, our eyes locked.
He looked so worried. I could tell he was biting down on his bottom lip. He was standing pretty steady at least, I wonder when he had woken up. Maybe he had been faking being asleep, the thought shot anxiety through me like I had touched a live wire.
He just stood there, a few feet away from me, his lips pursed tight, his face looking so worried and so... shell shocked. He looked terrified.
I stared. I studied his face, almost not believing I was looking at him. Suddenly I could feel the confusion drip away from me like water on wax. My mind started to clear up.
This boy.
I had pulled him from the depths of hell. I had killed for him, bled for him, was ready to kill myself for him. This peculiar boy with the golden blond hair I had actually touched.
My mind went back to the day previous, when I held his jeans in my hands and screamed. All I wanted, all my heart pulled for was to hold him in my arms. Smell his scent, hold him tight. Feel his warm skin against mine. My heart had pulled me to that regret over and over again. Trading everything in my life just to have him safe in Aras.
Why was I wasting time?

I walked towards him... and took him into my arms.

He let out a sob, I held him tight, and we kneeled down to the pavement together.

As he cried into my shoulder. I just held him, I didn’t know what to say, I think in that moment words were meaningless. I just pushed every thought in my mind out, and concentrated on him.

I could feel his warm skin against my hands, I could feel his heartbeat through my own chest. I could feel how scared he was, but at the same time the out pouring of relief that seemed tangible on his body.

I hope I made him feel safe, he should... I was never letting him out of my sight.
When his crying seemed to die down, I pulled away from him and managed a smile. He looked back at me, still looking tired and scared, but he managed a smile back.

I swear my heart was going to rip out of my chest with how fast it was beating. I took a deep breath.
“My name’s Reaver,” I whispered to him. It was all I could manage at that moment.
Killian just stared at me in shock, there was no doubt he was taken aback that I had spoken to him. I could see tears welling up in his eyes again.

“My... my name is Killian. It’s nice to meet you, Reaver.”

I let out a small laugh, and he dove into my arms again, still crying. I think I was in for a lot of crying in the future.
“Why are you out of Docs?” I asked quietly, gently patting his back.
“I was scared,” he said meekly.
Damn... poor kid. I should have stayed until he had woken up. I felt a bit bad.
I took another shaky breath, and smiled, even though he couldn’t see me. “Well, I heard you were wondering where I lived. Want to see? And... get warm and eat?”
Killian pulled back, he still had the shocked look on his face. “Really?” he whispered.

I nodded, I stood up and held out my hand to him. He took it and I helped him up. We started walking, side by side, towards my basement home.

I kept as close to him as I would allow myself, he still seemed really unsteady on his feet, I didn’t know if I would have to catch him at some point. As we approached my home, he looked a bit confused.
“I walked past this place so many times...” he whispered. We crossed the gravely front yard and I followed the side of the house towards the back where my old shed was.
“I made it to be hidden,” I explained. “Only Reno, Greyson and Leo know where it is. I sleep better that way.”
I unlocked the shed and stepped inside I motioned him in and locked the shed from the inside. “I scavenged this from an old army tank, I got it all the way from Fort Gosslin,” I said, pointing to my large tank hatch, feeling a bit proud. I had never been able to show off my house to someone before. I unlocked the tank and crawled inside.
“Just follow me, close the lid and turn the key.”
“Wow,” Killian’s voice was awed. “I don’t even lock my doors.”
I know
I said to myself, thankfully I was smart enough not to say it out loud.
I shuffled down to the last hatch into my den and opened it. I stood aside and took off my gun, I let out a loud sigh as my familiar den smell filled my nose. It smelled like home. Fuck it was nice to be home.
Killian stepped out and I helped him stand. He looked around my den and shook his head in amazement.
“It’s like we’re in a different world,” he whispered, his eyes darting off in all directions as he tried to take it in. It was dark though, it didn’t have any windows in it and the battery operated bluelamp was dimming.
My den wasn’t that spectacular, but it was filled with junk he probably had never seen before. The vending machine I had scavenged, I had rigged it to pop out cans of food. I used it when I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat. My TV and Nintendo, where I played my Mario games and Tetris. I would teach him how to play that. My worn out brown couch, my stuffed chairs, my wooden side tables, even some skulls from creatures I had killed. Lots of neat shit, heck I was a good scavenger.
“You have a stove!” Killian whispered in awe. I had forgotten the kid liked to cook shit. He walked into my kitchen but after the third step his legs seemed to half give out on him. I caught him before he could fall and pulled him to his feet.
“Crazy boy, be careful,” I said with a smile. “Sit down on the couch, here... you haven’t even seen the best part.”
I walked over to the dial for the generator and turned it. I looked around and smiled as generator rumbled to life, half a block up. The lights and the heaters turned on, illuminating the room in a bright white light. This was one of the few places in Aras that used old halogen light bulbs, not the Dek’ko crap.
Killian’s mouth fell open. I couldn’t help but feel joy inside of me when I saw his face light up. “I knew it was your generator I would hear, wow, you have everything in here,” Killian whispered in awe.