Falling to Ash (17 page)

‘OK then, amaze me,’ I said. ‘What have you found out about these revenants so far?’

Jace raised an eyebrow in that super-cool way few guys could master. ‘Revenant?’

‘Oh, that’s what my Maker said it might be. He said that there’s no such thing as zombies – at least, not so far
as
vamps are concerned. Maybe in places like Africa. Or in the movies. Revenants are like . . . vampires gone wrong. We call them “Unmade”, apparently.’

Jace frowned. ‘You didn’t say anything about finding me there, did you?’

‘Of course not,’ I snapped, immediately regretting how defensive I sounded. ‘He’d only want to kill you.’

‘Why? Because I’m Thomas Murdoch’s son?’

Anger flooded my chest and I swallowed hard against the sudden heat. ‘No, you moron, because of what you did to me the first time we met.’

I held out both my arms until he looked at them, watching him with a tangled knot of emotions in my stomach. The scars had faded significantly, but even Theo wasn’t sure whether they would disappear entirely. As long as nobody staked me, I was probably going to be around for a long time – maybe I’d find out if vampires really
could
heal from severe silver burns.

His cheeks flushed. ‘Did I do that to you?’

I nodded slowly. ‘Unless I’m a vampire who self-harms with silver.’

At least he seemed genuinely  . . .
something
about it. I wasn’t sure quite what. I could smell anger for sure, but other than that the young hunter was sending out all sorts of conflicting messages. But then, that seemed to sum him up most of the freaking time.

Jace reached out toward me, but pulled back when
the
lamp over his shoulder flashed on a ring he was wearing. The silver ring. It was a heavy Celtic band, similar to one of his tats. I watched his throat move as he swallowed, and tried not to wonder what it would feel like to press my face against his carotid artery and listen to the blood pulsing through it.
Ew, why did I have to be so gross?

‘Shit,’ he said. He tugged the ring off his pinky and flung it away like it might burn him. As though it was
him
who was the vampire and not me.

I watched all of this in silence, something older and wiser in me knowing when to keep my big mouth shut. Although I still couldn’t help gasping when he grabbed my left wrist in his warm right hand and tugged me toward him. We were just inches apart, my legs still curled beneath me as I knelt in front of where he sat coiled with a dark sort of energy I didn’t understand.

OK, I’m not dumb. Maybe I understood what was going on here, but that didn’t mean it made
sense
.

Jace ran his fingers over my scars, head bowed so that all I could see was the top of his blond spikes. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Should I stop him? Pull my arms out of reach? Say something? My arms tingled wherever his flesh touched mine and I tried not to gaze at his slightly too thin lips.

And then his eyes met mine and there wasn’t any need for anything as lame as words. His eyes told me
everything
I needed to know about his regret. The expression on his face dared me to challenge him, and for a moment I was tempted to do exactly that. But the moment passed and I moved back to my own pile of cushions, rubbing my arms as though I was cold and wondering what I was even doing here.

Jace ran a nervous hand through his hair, making it stand up more than ever. ‘Let’s get back to the research. That’s what you came here for.’

I bit my lip, then realized I was giving him another good look at my fangs. I looked away.

‘Moth?’ he said.

‘Sure, research is good.’
Safe
. ‘That was getting way too touchy-feely for my liking.’

He scowled at me and carried on talking. ‘What was it you were telling me about – the “Unmade”? I’ve never seen that term in any of these books.’

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. ‘I thought these books always held the answer.’ I pushed wild strands of hair out of my eyes. ‘You spent all this time telling me how great they are, and how your dad always finds the right information at the right time. But now you’re pretty much saying:
Dude, I got nuthin
’.’

Jace half smiled and went back to scanning pages. If I didn’t know any better, I would say his expression looked sort of indulgent. It reminded me of the way Theo regarded me when he was in one of his better moods.

I grabbed one of the smaller books and read the title stamped on the cover in intricate gold lettering: ‘
How the Undead Almost Ruled the World
.’ I shook my head. What was this crap?

Jace made a triumphant sound and thrust the heavy book into my hands. ‘Oh ye of little faith. Told you so.’

A line-drawing of an ugly creature took up most of the page he was pointing at. The pen strokes were crude, a simple black ink sketch, but the revenant still seemed to come alive on the page. Which was ironic, I thought, considering how truly dead it was.

This picture certainly had the eyes right; they were blank and milk-white, the iris and pupil hidden behind an opaque film. How could such a two-dimensional drawing look so realistic? I shivered and forced myself to stop staring at it. It seemed almost as if somebody had sketched it while actually looking at the subject – which was obviously crazy, because if anyone tried to do that they’d end up with their arms ripped out of their sockets. Like poor Nurse Fox.

Underneath the drawing was a dense paragraph of text in a spidery, hard-to-read font. I squinted at the page and slowly read the words:
The Revenant is an empty shell of humanity, created by the bite of an over-zealous Vampyr
. I looked at Jace. ‘What does that even mean?
Over-zealous?
’ I had a horrible feeling that it was pretty
obvious
, but was hoping to hear his take on it before I completely freaked out.

Jace stabbed his finger at the book. ‘What do you
think
it means? It must be when a vampire feeds too much; maybe it takes the victim—’

‘Oh,’ I cut in. ‘Right, it says here in the book:
For when the Vampyr feeds until the heart stops beating and all signs of life have faded from the human eye, then the Unmade will rise
.’ I shoved the book back into Jace’s hands. ‘Great. So, is this something that happens all the time? Like when
vampyrs
feed from someone for too long?’

I didn’t want to touch the stupid book anymore; it weirded me out that it seemed to know more about what I’d become than I did. And I sure could’ve done with some of Murdoch’s books when I’d first woken after Theo turned me. Everything I’d found out by myself seemed tame, controlled . . . incomplete.

I thought about it for a moment. ‘Surely if it was that easy to create revenants by accident, there’d be hundreds or
thousands
of them wandering around in search of
braaains
.’

Jace rolled his eyes. ‘No – listen to this:
The Vampyr must be young, having walked the Earth for less than two centuries. It feeds on blood past the point of possible return, so that the victim travels
beyond death.
Any attempt to make a new Vampyr will end in failure,
Unmaking
the human and leaving a Revenant in its place
.’

He looked more animated than I could remember seeing him. Apart from whenever he’d been trying to kill me. ‘So these revenants are made by vamps who try to turn a human, only they’re too inexperienced and it goes wrong. That’s where your Maker got the term “Unmade” from.’

Something in his tone irritated me. ‘You don’t even know what you’re talking about; stop making out you’re this big authority on the undead. You haven’t got a clue, Jace.’

His eyebrows shot up. ‘I’m not trying to pretend anything. And just because you’ve been a vamp for all of . . . what? A year? . . . that doesn’t make you an expert either. And you certainly don’t know anything about the
Unmade
. Or revenants, or whatever they’re called.’

I frowned, trying to stay open-minded despite the doubts that were crowding me. ‘I knew more than you did, back at the hospital, while I was busy saving our lives. It’s thanks to me we’re even having this conversation.’

‘If you say so,’ he muttered, as he continued flipping through the book.

‘Seriously, though. I don’t think it can be that simple. I wouldn’t be able to turn you into a vampire – Unmade or otherwise – if I bit you. And I’m less than two hundred years old.’

His lips quirked into a smile that was more of a challenge. ‘I guess we’ll never find out, because you’re never going to bite me.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I wasn’t thinking of testing my oh-so-scientific theory.’

‘Good, because I’m sort of getting used to you. It’d be a shame to have to stake you when things are going so well, right?’

‘You could try,’ I muttered.

Jace put the book aside and watched me, his gaze steady. ‘Don’t you ever wonder about it, though?’

‘About what?’

‘About how powerful vampires are. The things you could do if you really cut loose.’

‘I wonder about a lot of things,’ I said. ‘But mostly I just wonder how I’m going to get through the next day, and then the one after that.’

He continued as though I hadn’t spoken. ‘You’re stronger than humans. What’s to stop you from rising up and attacking us? Or even just going on a crime spree?’

I shook my head. ‘A vampire Bonnie and Clyde, you mean? That’s ridiculous.’

‘Why? Vampires are predators, pure and simple. What’s to stop them taking whatever they want?’

‘Humanity,’ I said. ‘You want to forget that part, I know. But it’s way too convenient. Vampires aren’t born, they’re made.
I
was made. I used to be human – just a
year
ago, I was as human as you. Don’t you think I remember what that was like? Don’t you think I still feel human?’

‘But you’re not. Human, I mean. Not entirely.’

‘Listen,’ I said, getting annoyed. ‘If vampires choose to live in the human world, that means they should live by human laws. That’s the rule.’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘There are rules?’

I’d said too much. Me and my big mouth. Oh, well. Why stop now? ‘If you’re part of a Family, yes.’

‘Which you are? Part of a Family, I mean.’

‘Yes,’ I muttered. ‘Can we change the subject?’

‘Fine, how about
this
subject?’ He shifted position, leaning forward almost eagerly. ‘Could your Maker have done something like this? Created revenants, I mean. Now that we know a little more about it, could he be the one who
Un
made Rick?’

‘I don’t know,’ I lied, examining the deep red satin cushion that Jace was sitting on. It was easier than looking at him.

He fixed me with those intense brown eyes. ‘Really? After what you told me you scented on Erin’s body?’

I wished I’d kept my big mouth shut about that now. But I’d been scared and alone; confused. ‘I just don’t want to talk about it with you right now.’ I didn’t really want to
think
about it.

‘What are you protecting him for? Do you still have a
thing
for him?’ His voice was mocking, but there was something else in his voice. An edge that I tried to ignore. ‘Has he bitten you lately?’

‘No, he hasn’t bitten me since he turned me.
Actually
.’ I licked my lips. ‘I’ve bitten him . . .’ My voice trailed off as I felt my cheeks burn. What did I have to tell him
that
for?

‘Well, then.’ He looked angry, and I wasn’t entirely sure I liked this sudden change in his attitude toward me.

We sat in silence for what felt like hours.

‘Jace?’ My voice was small in the sudden quiet of the room. ‘How did you learn about vampires, and all of this stuff? I mean, obviously from your dad. But did he wait to tell you the truth until you were a certain age or something?’

‘I’ve always known about the monsters.’ He winced. ‘Sorry. You know what I mean.’

I shrugged, looked down. It pissed me off, hearing him talk like that, but I still wanted to hear what he had to say.

‘My family are a family of hunters. It’s not just my dad.’

I waited for him to go on.

‘There’s an uncle and a couple of cousins. My grand-father. And my mom. She used to hunt too.’

‘Your
mom
?’

‘Sure. It’s not just a male occupation, you know.’

‘I’m just surprised,’ I said. ‘I don’t even know why.’

‘She died.’ His voice was quiet and I remembered the glimpse I’d had inside his head. I wanted him to say more, but at the same time I suddenly felt afraid. This was too much, too soon. The intensity made the air in the room feel like static electricity.

‘Mine too,’ I replied.

We stared at each other for a moment that stretched out and out . . . Until Jace looked down and began sorting books into piles again.

The moment, as moments like that have a habit of doing, passed.

I jumped to my feet, unable to sit still any longer. ‘My shirt must be dry by now.’

Jace looked up at me with lazy eyes. ‘You can just have that one.’

The desire to keep his T-shirt was so visceral that for a moment I was overwhelmed. I stomped down on it as hard as I could. ‘No, it’s cool. Thanks, though.’