Authors: Sadie Grubor
"Oh
really?"
"Really,"
I imitated her tone. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm
starving, so I'm going to go –"she stopped talking when she realized I
wasn't letting her go. She narrowed her eyes.
"What
do you want to eat?"
"I
can get my own food," she tried to sit up again.
"I
don't want to leave the bed. So what do you want to eat?" I grinned.
"Since
when did I fall under your dictatorship mister?" She poked my chest.
"Um...since
you are carrying my child," I teased and she tensed. Shit Christopher…too
far. "Sorry." I mumbled.
"Don't
worry about it," she whispered and tried to get up. She turned to me. "Is
the bathroom off limits too?" There it was again, she was annoyed.
Shaking
my head, I released her. While she was in the bathroom, I made the call for
room service.
I
still wasn't sure of all the emotions coursing through me, but when she was
with me, it didn't matter.
*
* * * *
Oh
God, I'm pregnant… It isn’t some jacked up nightmare. I'm fucking pregnant.
Christopher Mason got me pregnant. Fuck….shit….fuck!
Pacing
the bathroom, I was finally alone long enough for a proper freak out and
personal moment. I wasn't sure about being pregnant let alone being someone's
mother. I wasn't confident I could do it.
Could I even think about having a
baby with someone I really just met? Plus, I was young and my career just
starting. How will it work for a child if both parents are constantly in the spotlight,
working, and traveling? Is it unfair to bring a child into this life?
Oh
god. I'm pregnant.
I wanted to go back to my birthday and
take it all back. Take back the way his hands worked my body. The way his
tongue teased my nipples, and…
Oh Christ, get it together
.
After
my mini meltdown, I hopped into the shower hopeful I could rinse away the
stress momentarily. Things were going well until I ran my hand over my stomach.
That's when the ultrasound picture flashed in my head. The warm tears
camouflaged by the hot water, but I knew they were there.
What
am I going to do? What if I couldn't do it and decided I wanted the abortion?
Would he freak out? Would it send him over the edge? Can I go through with a
pregnancy just because he may have a meltdown if I didn't?
Once
I dried off, I slipped my sweatpants and t-shirt back on. Entering the bedroom,
Christopher sat with his head back against the headboard and eyes closed.
Was
he rethinking everything? Was he serious about wanting this baby? Would he
respect my decision if I didn't want it? Of course, he wouldn't. He would
probably show up as he did today, only this time he would throw a tantrum.
My
hands found themselves on my stomach again. Looking down, I released a large
sigh and a single tear.
"What
did I tell you about crying?"
Christopher
was staring at me with that damn grin on his face. I quickly dropped my hands
and walked toward the bed. I wanted to slap the damn cocky grin off his face.
Leaning
back onto the bed, I lay flat on my back with my hands behind my head. My shirt
moved before Christopher's fingers brushed my stomach. I looked down. His eyes
were fully concentrated on my now exposed abdomen. His hand spread out like a
fan.
When
he realized I was watching him curiously, he pulled back his hand and mumbled, "Sorry."
"What
were you doing?" Emotion overload had put my words just above a whisper.
"I
don't know, I'm still kind of…I dunno in –"
"Shock?"
"I
guess that too, but I'm more in awe than anything," he shrugged.
"Awe?"
"Yeah,
I mean, you have a tiny person inside you Mia, fuck it's a tiny person
that…well…I helped to make. It's weird, creepy, unbelievable, and just amazing
all at the same time." He got really quiet after that.
"You're
that 'interested' in all this?"
"I'm
more than 'interested' in this," he placed his hand on my bare stomach. "I
think I'm excited about it."
His
head bent to my stomach and pressed his lips to my skin. A gasp escaped me, and
he grinned up at me. I tried to push my shirt back down, but he wouldn't allow
it.
"I
would've never thought I could be like this or feel like this." He kissed
my stomach again and this time I had to swallow a moan, but he saw right
through me. His kisses traveled further up my body and between my breasts when
there was a knock on the door.
Thank
god for the interruption.
Christopher
pulled my shirt down and rolled over as the door opened.
"Did
you order all this?" Laney looked at me flabbergasted. She stuck her thumb
out over her shoulder, motioning behind her.
"What
food?" I sat up.
"I
didn't know what you wanted." I turned to Christopher. "You wouldn't
answer me."
"How
much food is out there?" I turned back to Laney. She was smiling largely.
"Oh,
enough to feed the whole floor of the hotel," she giggled.
I
twisted back to Christopher.
"What?"
he shrugged. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I just told them to send
up everything on the breakfast and dinner menu."
"You
did what?" Slapping my hand to my forehead, I climbed out of bed, heading
toward my door. Once I saw all the trays and carts, I groaned. "I can't
believe you did this."
"Eat
up," Kat laughed from the couch. "Chris Junior needs nourishment."
I
glared.
After
eating, I stayed in my room on my laptop and watching TV. Mentally exhausted
from the constant spinning with pregnancy related thoughts, my head was
starting to hurt. The not knowing what was to come was the worst.
Christopher
only left once, to get a change of clothes. As much as I appreciated his
support, it was nice to have time to myself. I was suffocating under everyone's
constant presence. I took Christopher's absence as the opportunity to do some
pregnancy related research. Regardless of everyone's opinions, I needed to figure
out what was best for me.
First
search, pregnancy in the general sense –symptoms and changes, up to future
things I could expect over the next few months. It didn't sound very appealing.
Second, I looked at complications and concerns – another not so pleasant topic.
Moving on to the third much more taboo subject, abortion, I read over the facts
not the opinions. From what I read, it wasn't pretty and there were still
complications that could arise from the procedure. My brain felt full and I
started to feel sick.
Sighing
heavily, I threw myself back on the bed. Reaching for the remote on the side
table, my hand met a piece of smooth paper. I knew what it was, but I
reflexively brought it into my sight. There was the picture of the….I couldn't
bring myself to say it. Not yet.
Too
wrapped up in my own thoughts, Christopher returned without my noticing. Lying
back with my arm over my face and the picture against my chest, I was trying to
sift through all of the information. It wasn't until he spoke that I jerked
upright.
"What
the hell are you doing?"
"What
do you–?"
His
long finger extended toward my bright laptop screen. I cringed when I saw what
I'd left out in the open. I was so sick of everyone lecturing me and telling me
what to do. Slamming the computer shut, I stood from the bed. Anger bubbled
from the pit of my stomach.
"Well?"
he growled.
"You
know what? I don't have to answer to you!" His face dropped. "The
last time I checked this is my body," using one hand to motion across my
body. "And the last I checked it is my decision to make," I shouted.
Laney
and Kat appeared in my doorway. The glare I gave made them retreat quickly. My
glare turned back to Christopher, who stood looking half-crazed.
"I
won't let you do it, Mia! Get that in your head right now!" His eyes were
wild and his chest heaving.
"Fuck
you, Christopher!" I crossed my arms over my chest. "And you know
what…you can get the fuck out of my room too!" Starting toward the door,
Christopher stopped me. "Let go of me!" I tried to push his arm from
its hold around my waist.
Before
I could blink twice, he lifted me with one arm and carried me back the bed.
Opening my mouth, I was going to give him the bitch out of a lifetime.
"Damn
it! Shut up, and listen to me!" He leaned over me, causing me to scoot
back and drop my weight to my elbows.
Angling
his body over mine, his face was intense. Fear took hold, but it didn't last
long. He pressed his lips to mine, firmly, while cupping the back of my neck to
keep me from pulling away.
"Don't
ever fear me," he whispered against my lips. "I could never hurt you.
Never." His lips pressed harder. Pulling back slightly from my lips, he
pressed his forehead to mine.
"I
can't," he kissed me, "I won't let it happen," he kissed me
again pressing his body against mine until my back rested against the mattress.
"I
want you," he kissed more fervently. "I want our baby," his
tongue moved into my mouth and twisted around my tongue. Instinctively, my
tongue searched out the steel ball in his tongue. I found it and almost moaned.
"There
is nothing in this world I want more than you, than this," His tongue and
lips moved over my jaw. I came undone and slid my hands over his shoulders.
Christopher
slipped his arm under my lower back and pulled us higher on the bed. He rested
comfortably on one elbow above my body while pressing his weight and arousal
between my legs. Heat flooded my body.
"Say
you won't," he whispered against my neck. "Please Mia," he
sucked, the viper bites digging deliciously into my skin.
"Christopher,"
I croaked. He wasn't playing fair.
"Mia,
please, please, say you won't kill my, our baby. Please?" His forehead
pressed against my shoulder as the words left his lips. Panting from his
actions, I tried to clear the lusty fog from my head.
"Say
it," with a little more intensity, he squeezed my hip with his hand.
"Say
it, Mia, please? Promise me." His hand slipped over my stomach, under my
shirt. His thumb rubbing circles on my skin.
The
words slipped out of my lips without any control on my part.
Chapter
Twenty-Three
"I
can't promise you anything."
He
stilled.
"I'm
sorry," I whimpered. "I just, I need to think about all of this,
absorb it, and –"
"And
I'm supposed to just sit by while you decide the fate of my child?" He was
suddenly kneeling above me. His face swathed in fury.
"It's
my body." I argued.
"It's
my child," he snapped.
"Get
off me." Growling, I shoved him. He moved from over top of me. I stood
from the bed.
"We
aren't done talking about this." He snarled.
"Oh,
yes, we are!"
"Mia,"
his tone warning.
"I've
heard what you have to say about this, now it's time for me to decide what I
want not what everyone else wants me to do."
We
were in a stare off. His piercing blues were trying to penetrate my dark brown.
I have no idea how long we would've stayed that way, but a knock at the door
concluded it.
"What?"
He snapped at my door.
"The
last time I checked this was still my room, not yours," Scowling at him, I
opened the door.
"Mia?"
Laney looked at me with a worried expression.
"Hey,
what's up?"
"We
were planning on going to –"
"Perfect,
let me get changed." With fake enthusiasm, I plastered a large smile on my
face. Not really in the mood to leave, but I to get away from Christopher.
"We
need to talk." He disputed while I grabbed some clothes.
"We
are done talking." I slammed the bathroom door and changed my clothes.
"For
now," he growled through the closed door.
When
I opened the door, he was gone. Sighing in relief, I met the girls in the
living room. They were all sitting and waiting for me.
"So,
ready?" I asked.
"Are
you sure you want to go?" Kat looked me over.
"Yeah,
why?"
"You
look…well…" Serena cut her off.
"You
look like shit."
"Gee
thanks. I love you too." I rolled my eyes. "I need to get out and not
think about this right now."
"Okay
then," Laney hopped up from the couch and wrapped arms with me. "Let's
head to dinner then."
Laney
arranged a private balcony box to watch a movie and then we went to dinner. It
was a nice evening and I only had to think once about being pregnant.