Falling - On the Banks of Lake Saint Clare (Falling - Book One) (48 page)

“How do I know you won’t hurt me?”

“You don’t.”

“Why in the world would I take that chance? Why would I be as stupid as to chance being put in the hospital again just because you want to talk to me?”

“I was angry that night.”

“Brad, you are always angry. I haven’t seen you not be angry in months. So I am saying the answer is no. There is no chance that we can meet to talk.”

He was silent.

“I’ve got to go,” I finally said.

“Wait! Remember that night after the championship game last year? We were at your house, lying on the trampoline. We were looking at the stars and we talked for hours about everything. I told you that if it took the rest of my life, I would win your heart. You never said there wasn’t a chance. I thought that if there wasn’t a chance that you wouldn’t be with me at one point, you would have said so. But you didn’t. You didn’t say no, Alex. You led me to believe that you liked me
,
and would one day love me. I had that to go on. You never told me no, Alex. You pretended to care
,
and you played me. You spoke to me everyday. You were so nice to me
,
and you looked at me like I meant something to you. You never told me I didn’t have a chance. You always treated me like I mattered to you. Why did you do that to me, Alex? Why did you act like you cared?”

I didn’
t know what to say. I did remember
the trampoline. I remembered talking to him for what seemed like hours, but it wasn’t any different than talking to anyone.
I remembered Rachel yelling ou
t
the window that we were being too loud. I remembered
everything except,
I didn’t
remember
him saying that he liked me
,
and I definitely don’t remember him saying I would love him one day. My head was spinning; I felt so guilty and had no idea what to say.

“Brad, you can’t force someone to love you. It just happens. I didn’t mean to ever lead you on. I would never intentionally do that. I think you read too much into the conversation.”

I heard him sigh, “Have you ever thought about killing yourself? How you would do it?”

My heart started pounding like crazy
,
and my body started shaking uncontrollably. I sat down on the floor and tried to figure out what to say
.

“Alex, have you ever held a gun to your head and not been scared at all to die?”

I took a deep breath, “Don’t say that,” I said. “Please, do not do that to me.”

“You don’t care, Alex. Have a great birthday.”

Click.

“MOM!” I screamed. I ran into the living room, “Brad is going to kill himself. Oh my God! Mom! What did I do! Please, stop him. Call him, please, MOM, hurry!”

“Alex? What are you talkin
g about?”

“Mom! He called me. He’s going to kill himself. Please, you have to do something. Call him, please. Please call him and stop him!”

She picked up her phone and pushed buttons. It felt like
my heart was going to explode.
“Grandma,” I grabbed her as she walked into the room, “Please help me.”

I grabbed the phone from my mom.

“Brad! Please don’t die, please!” I practically screamed.

“What are you talking about?” He
asked
. “Who is this?”

“It
’
s Alex. You know who it is!”

“You aren’t supposed to be calling me. A restraining order goes both ways.
You can get me in a lot of trouble, Alex.
”

“You called me, Brad and asked me…” I looked at my mom’s face. She looked at me like I had lost my mind. I looked at my Grandmother and she had the same look. “Never mind,” I said, dropping the phone on the floor.

I started pacing the floor, “He’s going to kill me. No, no, no,” I held up my finger, “better yet, he is going to make me so crazy I kill myself. I’m really starting to wonder if he is going to succeed. He’s going to make it the perfect murder. I will go crazy, kill myself and he gets away with murder. He put it in my head about killing myself. I have gone my entire life never thinking about killing myself, and he planted the seed. I just bet he and Rachel have this scheme going. They are really good
.
I die, they get the last laugh.
In fact, I bet you a dollar it was her laughing the other night he called. Oh, she is
good,” I kept pacing back and forth. “It’s the
perfect murder.
Ok, I am calling this one right now, listen cause then
Alex
will get the last laugh. Here’s how it plays out. This is their plan, I kill myself
.
I bet they have this insurance policy Dad bought them,
so
they get the money. Oh! They sell the story to Lifetime and make
even
more money.
Why else is he doing this? There is no other reason. How can anyone be so obsessed with someone that they want them to go crazy and kill themselves
unless there is a plan
?
Oh
,
that is it. They are so good. What else would be the reason?
What’s the reason, Mom?”

I stopped and looked at her. She was still looking at me with the same dumbfounded look of confusion.

“Stop looking at me like I’m insane, Mom! He hasn’t won yet. You just call Rachel and tell her that they haven’t won yet. Call em, Mom. Call her! Tell them they aren’t winning! Tell them that their conspiracy isn’t getting to me
. Tell them I’m not fucking insane yet
!”

I realized I was screaming.

I sat down on the couch and started crying. “Why is he doing this?” I sighed. “What did I do? I don’t know what I did?” I covered my face with my hands and felt my grandmother put a blanket over me, realizing I was shaking. She sat down beside me and stroked my hair. I wondered if they even believed he had called me. “No one will believe you because everyone knows you are a lying whore,” I could hear
him
say
.

“It was really strange,” I heard my mom say. “She ran in here and started screaming that Brad was going to kill himself. She was hysterical. I’m not sure if she had a nightmare or if he called. When we called him back, he said something and that set her off. She started on this huge rant about Him and Rachel killing her. She’s been asleep for over an hour.”

“I called Brad back and asked if he had called. He swears he didn’t. He even said he would take his phone or records to the police to prove
it
. But that still doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a second phone or used someone else’s. But he sounded so honest.”

“I told her not to answer the phone when he calls, but she does anyway,” Michael said. “
Probably would be a good idea to tell the police that we suspect he’s calling. At least that way he knows he can’t get away with it if he is.”

I felt Michael’s arm touch my shoulder. “Hey
Alex,
are you going to wake up? I hear you had a bad morning.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” I said, feeling my eyes starting to water
.

“It’s fine. I understand you need answers. But you aren’t going to get them. You’ve never once have gotten one of your questions answered when he calls
.
He just makes it worse. So, please stop putting yourself through the torture. Don’t answer the phone.”

I nodded.
“
I knew I shouldn’t. I really knew I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it.”

“What did he say this time,” he asked, wiping the tears from my cheek.

I told him about our phone call. I could tell by how tense his body was getting that he was angry and if Brad was anywhere near him at that time, he wouldn’t be safe.

“He’s not going to kill himself
,
and he’s not going to convince you to, so don’t get all upset over it. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull, but every time you talk to him, you are feeding to his craziness.”

“That was painless,” I said, rubbing my arm from the shot.

The nurse smiled, “Shots usually are. It’s the anticipation and fear that is so much worse. Ok, we are all through. We will see you in three months. Do you have any questions?”

“I don’t think so. My boyfriend is a planner so we really did some reading up on it last night. I probably know more than the people that ma
d
e the serum. Is it serum?” I asked.

“I guess,” she laughed. “You have a great birthday,” she smiled, walking me out the door.

“Thanks. I walked into the waiting room and saw Michael reading a magazine.

“All done,” I said.

“That was fast,” he smiled, setting his magazine down. “Ask them if they have an empty room we can use.”

“
You’re a dope
,” I laughed.

“Do it,” he laughed. “I dare you.”

Chapter
25

“Why is Hailey here?’ I asked Michael.

He smiled devilishly and I knew it was coming, “So here’s the thing,” he said impersonating Hailey, “My Daddy is the principal and stuff and I literally would kill myself if I didn’t get invited to my besties’ birthday party, literally!”

I laughed, “You are wasting your time playing ball with that talent
.
”

He smiled and hugged me, “I want to leave,” he whispered. “I want to get naked with you in the condo and do fun things with you,” he raised his eyebrows and winked.

“One hour, then we will leave.”

“
Deal.
” he leaned over and whispered again, “I am literally going to make love to you all night
and stuff
.”

“Go rescue Derek,” I
laughed
, seeing he was cornered by three girls and looked in panic mode.

“Alex! This is literally the best party ever,” Hailey walked over to me. “Unless you count
Abbie
’s, but you didn’t stay there very long as I recall. Some sort of hooplah and stuff?”

“Yeah Hailey, that’s what
d
octors call cardiac arrest these days, hooplah.”

She glared at me, “My daddy thinks maybe it’s a good idea that you sit out cheer this year. He literally thinks that your drama might bring the team down. We are a wholesome group and he literally thinks that a girl that is actively sexual wouldn’t be a good rep for the cheer squad, assuming you and Michael are doing it,” she said, rolling her eyes so much it made her body roll.

I had no idea Erica was behind me until she saved the day, “So Hailey, is Daddy opposed to head jobs on the squad, because the whole team said they have gotten literally hundreds from you this summer.”

Then the stare down began. I knew Erica could stand there for days waiting for a comeback. But I only had an hour. As much as I wanted to wait the showdown out, I wanted to get naked with Michael more. Damn it! Why did I have to have a hot horny boyfriend right now?

“Don’t worry, Hailey
,” I said, breaking up the star
ing contest, “I will try very hard to retain myself from posting the stats of Michael and
me
“doing it” so Daddy can rest easy. Will that work?”

She so wanted to literally kill me. I could feel her ‘mean girl’ eyes shooting daggers at my heart
.
“You know, Michael called me last night. He said he was breaking up with you today
,
because he can’t stand you any longer and stuff. He said he is literally using you. So, you think you might be Miss Thang right now, but who is going to be crying on her pillow tonight?”

“Who?” I asked, playing dumb.

“Uh you,” she said, rolling her body again.

“Thank you so much for warning me, Hailey. You are literally the best friend a girl could have,” I said so sincerely, I thought I would gag on my words. “Ok,” I said as chipper as possible, “I am going to talk to other guest. Thanks again, Hailey,” I sighed, shaking my head, “Is
n’t
she the most, Erica?”

“She is the most,” Erica smiled.

I walked over
to the stuntmen from the cheer
-squad to talk. I kept looking at Michael talking to some of the players on the baseball team. I knew what Hailey said was a lie, but it still hurt thinking about how I would feel if Michael did break up with me. I couldn’t even imagine the pain. He saw me looking at him, kissed his finger and pointed.

“Boy, you could never guess he was going to break up with you tonight,” Erica laughed, sitting down beside me.

“At least Hailey will be there to comfort,” I smiled.

“Have you seen her latest post?” She asked.

“No, do tell.”

“It says ‘M.W. and H.B. are soul-mates. But he stays with her because he feels so
rry for her pathetic A’. Future Hailey
Williams”