Falling into the White (The Ancients Series) (3 page)

“No offense, but your husband is making my best friend date two of his sons, when it was already clear that she and Evan were together. One of them turned me into a wolf, violently, I might add. These things kind of put your entire family on my bitch-o-meter. Jess is my closest friend in this world, and has been for years. I’m new to being a wolf, but even if I wasn’t, Jess trumps Kings and Queens in my eyes. She always will. I don’t like seeing her hurt, and what your family has done is hurting her. So, excuse the open hostility, but…” Ash stopped to take a calming breath, “just… you know, that’s why.”

For the first time since she got there, Leanna sat back and relaxed. “I understand.” She was staring off wistfully, “I had a best friend like you once too.” Ashley popped the top on her soda with a click and fizz, which brought Leanna back to the present, and she turned her eyes on me. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I can smell both Evan and Mikael on you right now. Have you seen them both already today?”

Just like that the rock in my stomach was back, weighing me down. “Yes, I had lunch with both of them.”

“Two lunches? You must have a very good appetite.” Annabelle shot out snarkily.

“One lunch, two men.” I snapped, glaring at her as I said it.

“Oh!” Annabelle chimed in surprise.

“Oh, that could not have gone well. Did they know you were seeing both of them at the same time?” Leanna asked, and there was real concern in her voice.

“Mikael knew. Evan didn’t.”

Leanna stood, walked over to where Ashley and I sat scrunched up, and kneeled down in front of us. She took my hand in hers. “I understand now. You came from that to the two of us just showing up at your door. It couldn’t have been easy, especially if Evan had no clue. You have my apologies for our intrusion at such an awful time.” She stood then, and walked back over to the couch to pick up her purse. “Let us leave the girls to talk, Annabelle.” For her part, Annabelle was still trying to pick her jaw up off the floor. I knew that Queens, as well as pack leaders, never kneeled before others. That was a sign of deep respect.

“Leanna, please, it’s fine. You don’t have to go.” I thought about it for a minute as Ashley pinched my back. “Maybe your insight would be helpful.”

“That would be lovely.” She seemed thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe we should skip the formalities of getting to know one another and just start with your lunch.”

Chances are, they would hear all about it anyway, so I told them all at once what had transpired over the course of our lunch, and how Evan had walked out leaving Mikael and I to decide things. “He acts like this is all my fault. It’s beyond frustrating, and Mikael…” I sighed before continuing. “He’s great about it, completely understanding, but just as frustrating because he knows how much it bothers Evan, and he doesn’t hesitate to poke that wound.”

Leanna smiled, “Mikael has always been the trouble maker of the bunch. It’s part of being the middle child, and needing to find his place, I think. Evan, has only been denied once by his father, and he has never known the pain that comes with disobedience. His father had his obedience because Evan loved him, and for no other reason. He is immune to Antoine’s demands. The rest of us are not immune though, and he has a hard time understanding why we can’t fight it if he can. His unusual birth amongst our kind gave him his ability.”

“I get that, but he thinks just because I’m supposed to be the white wolf, I can tap into some unknown power and push his father’s commands away.” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve tried, and I come away blinded by pain for my efforts.”

“You are the white wolf, and she does not come into her abilities all at once. Evan has not seen a white wolf ruler in his lifetime. You have to forgive him his ignorance. I wish I had advice as to how to handle that one, but I simply don’t know.”

“If it weren’t for Cla…” Anabelle didn’t get to finish what she was about to say, because Leanna cut her off, in a very obvious attempt to shut her up.

“Yes, well, we can speculate all day long about Evan’s motives, but the fact of the matter is, we need to help Jessica now.” She smiled up at me, and asked the question on everyone’s mind. “Do you still choose my son?”

“I want to be with Evan, but honestly, he’s making it very difficult for me right now.”

“I’ll have a talk with him, and see if that helps.”

“That’s probably not the best of ideas.” I looked from Leanna to Ashley, who was trying to hide a smirk from me. “I think I already made him angry enough by not telling him that Mikael would be at lunch with us. I don’t think his mom jumping on his back too will be a great way to top off the day.”

“Understood. Let me ask you a question though, why did you tell Mikael that Evan would be there, and not the other way around?”

“Evan wouldn’t have come, and it didn’t matter to Mikael. He hasn’t blamed me at all for this mess.”

“No, of course Mikael wouldn’t. Did you at least try to tell Evan, though?”

“I tried talking to him about all three of us getting together and hashing things out. Every time I did, he got angry at me and walked away. He didn’t want to hear about how much pain I was enduring to go against his father’s wishes for him. He didn’t want to hear about how every time I refuse Mikael’s calls or fail to go out with him, my head nearly splits open. He just sees it as all my fault, and the moment I bring up Mikael he throws accusations my way, and bolts.” I put my head in my hands, rubbing my temples, and trying to massage away a tension headache that was building. “I never used to get headaches,” I mumbled.

“Why don’t you like Mikael?” Annabelle asked out of the blue. “I mean, you keep saying he’s been very gracious this whole time when Evan has not.”

“The day I met Mikael was the day he attacked Ashley, and turned her. He didn’t exactly start me off with the best of impressions.”

“But it worked out for her. I mean she has Asi now.” The way Annabelle said Asi’s name made me think there was definitely more to this visit than met the eye.

“Yes, well, then Antoine forced me to date him, even though I was already falling in love with Evan. So, somehow that just doesn’t seem fair.”

“Yes, but, maybe Evan isn’t the one for you, and you just needed a push in the right direction.”

“Annabelle!” Leanna chimed in, “enough!” Leanna stood, gathered her purse, and nudged Annabelle to do the same. “I would like to extend an invitation for you both to join us for dinner. We came with the purpose to get to know Ashley, and I’m afraid we did a poor job of that. I do hope you will both join us soon.” Leanna walked over to Ashley and I as we both stood up. “Jessica, I do hope my boys treat you well. I know this is an impossible position to be put in, and everyone has their opinions as to who you should be with, but” she side-eyed Anabelle then, “I hope the choice will be yours, and made from the heart. Once you are bound, it cannot be undone.” When she caught Ashley and I cocking up our brows at her she laughed. “Okay, well clearly as a second mate, I am the perfect example that it can, but it should not.” With that, she took Annabelle and left Ashley and I to our own devices.

“Do you have ice cream in there?” I asked as she shut her apartment door and locked it.

“Chocolate with extra chocolate stuff in it.”

“I can always count on you to have all the good things!”

“Actually, Asi bought it. He said with all the stress you were under, you’d probably be by and need some girl time with ice-cream.”

“Can’t we just clone Asi, and give me one of him?” I batted my eyes at Ashley, she laughed at me and popped me in the nose with her spoon.

“He is all mine, and I think you already have your hands full anyway!”

I groaned “don’t remind me. You better hit me with a double of that stuff!”

“Yeah, okay. So, what do you think Annabelle was about to say when Leanna cut her off? Seems like it might have been important info.”

“I’m not sure. Honestly, Annabelle gives me the creeps, so I don’t think I want to know.”

“So, what now?” Ashley shoveled a spoonful of the delightfully super chocolate chunk ice cream into her mouth. After she swallowed she added, “what did you and Mikael decide?”

“We have a date tomorrow. It’s just a walk or something, nothing major, but hopefully between today’s lunch, and tomorrow, the headaches will subside for a while.”

“And when is your next date with Evan?”

I stuffed a huge spoonful of ice cream in my mouth to keep from answering right away. I hadn’t talked to Evan since he left the restaurant so I wasn’t entirely sure what would be happening with us. I swallowed and sighed immediately. “Who knows? I guess it all depends on when he gets his head out of his ass. It’s kind of hard to kiss with it stuck in there, you know?”

Ashley was howling with laughter at that. “Yeah, he better bring his A-game next time he sees you, because nothing short of that is going to put Bitch-Jessica back to bed.”

“You’re an asshat!”

“I know, that’s why you love me.” She blew a chocolaty kiss my way.

JUST A WALK

I stood there, staring at my reflection in the full length mirror on the back of Ashley’s bedroom door. I was wearing an older pair of worn out, slim fit jeans. The knees were frayed into holes, and the ends of my pant legs were tattered. They didn’t look bad, they looked stylishly frayed, even though the look was a result of wear and tear not a store bought finish. I matched the jeans with a long sleeve black t-shirt that had white lettering that read, “I see the assassins have failed.” I paired the outfit with running shoes, since Mikael mentioned our date would take place mostly outside, and involved lots of walking.

I tossed my hair up into a ponytail and didn’t bother with the makeup. I looked over at the clock on the wall, it was 10:30, and Mikael was supposed to be here in an hour to pick me up. “Thanks for letting me get picked up here, Ash. I really didn’t want to be stuck riding in a car with Mikael for 25 minutes each way into and out of town from my parents’ place.”

“No, worries,” she called back from the kitchen, where she was studying at the table. I didn’t want to disturb her, because I knew she was cramming for her upcoming exam, but I couldn’t stand here staring at myself in the mirror for the next hour, so I headed to the kitchen anyway.

“What do you think?” I did a quick twirl to show off my very casual outfit.

“Honestly?” A smile quirked up the corners of her mouth. “The shirt is hilarious, and even though you thought it would be insulting, I think Mikael is going to love it. You look like you’re dressed for a date with him. I like it. This is the Jess that’s always lounging around my apartment, watching TV, and making fun of scary movies with me.”

“Maybe I should change then?” I backed up, but Ashley jumped up and caught my hand.

“Oh, no you don’t. It’s perfect, and this is what you’re going with.” She glared at me then, “don’t make me go all bad- ass werewolf on you!” I laughed, but before I could say anything my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered the phone to a ragged intake of breath on the other end.

“Hey, Jess.” Evan’s deep voice pulled at my heartstrings. It had been forever since we just had a nice conversation between the two of us without all the fighting. “I um, wanted to say I was sorry for how I acted yesterday. I know things aren’t easy on you…” His voice trailed off, and the silence went on for a few heartbeats before he started up again. I don’t know if he had been expecting me to say something, but I just didn’t know what to say to that. He had been a jerk, and he did need to apologize. “I’m going to try to do better, okay?”

“Fine.” I managed to croak out. “Evan, I hate all the fighting. What’s the point if that’s all we do?”

“I know.” Another sigh escaped him. “Believe me, I know.” There were another few minutes of silence that I didn’t bother to fill before he started talking again. “Listen, do you have anything planned for today?” I didn’t answer as guilt twisted my insides. “I thought maybe we could sit down and talk about whatever you and Mikael decided yesterday when I left like an idiot.”

“Evan, I…” How the hell did I put this without setting him off? “Um, Mikael’s picking me up soon for some outdoorsy thing. It’ll be a few hours.”

I heard the low level growl through the phone, even though he was clearly trying to keep it down. “I should have known. I left it open for him to jump right in. He did, and you agreed to it, of course.”

“Don’t.” I stated evenly, not wanting to lose my patience with him again today.

“No, you know, this is what I get for walking out yesterday. You punish me by jumping right into a date with him.”

“Oh my God! Not everything is about you, Evan! I didn’t watch you walk out yesterday, and think, ‘hey, I’m going to screw with him and date his brother.’” It was my turn to growl, and there was anger in it. “I can’t take the headaches anymore. I need to get this date over with so that they will stop, but you’re too much of an ass to see that. And guess what? You didn’t try hard enough to be understanding-AGAIN!” I hung up the phone. This was getting out of hand, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to keep it up. The fighting was becoming too much already, and I hadn’t even had an actual date with Mikael yet. I wondered what Evan would be like when I did go on a date with his brother, and then came around with his scent on me. My phone started ringing again. I looked down, and saw it was Evan calling, and I tossed down on the table unanswered.

“I don’t know why he’s being such an asshole! I mean, how many ways do you have to tell a guy that you only want him? Not to mention, he knows how you feel about being forced into these dates with Mikael. I swear, if he was here I would punch him in the face for you!” Ashley was livid. These weren’t even her guy troubles. She was angry for me.

“I don’t even know what to do anymore.” I flopped down in a kitchen chair, completely defeated.

“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You, my dear, are going to get your ass up, put a smile on that pretty little face of yours, and have a good damn time with Mikael today. Forget Evan, forget about Antoine’s forcing you to do things, and just go enjoy yourself for one day. There don’t have to be strings attached. Just let yourself have a good time. You deserve it, and if anyone has a problem with that, they can deal with me!”