Falling Into Grace (27 page)

“What is there to say?” Anger builds inside me. I can feel Kevin and Grant’s eyes on me. I don’t look over at them.

“Stop.” I place my hands up so he doesn’t step closer, but he takes a step closer. “I don’t know what your problem is, but stop acting like a fucking cunt.” I slap him hard. I see Kevin standing up, alarmed. Aiden walks over to the bar and frosts the windows.

“I was going to let them watch me fuck you, but now I want to do something else to you.” I see the darkness in his eyes, and it makes my heart beat faster and my stomach flips. I pray this is his sick way of making a joke.

“Oh, like you fucked my best friend this afternoon? Rebecca Shultz.” I’m getting louder and angrier by the minute.

“So are we even? I fucked your best friend, and you fucked my brother.” His words are sharp.

“I never fucked your brother, asshole. I told you to get your facts straight. Who told youthat?” My anger is soaring. I try to open the door, but it’s locked and won’t budge. I shake it again.

“Aiden, let me out.” He grabs me by my arms, picks me up, and throws me down on the table. My elbows break my landing, and I feel pain shoot up my arms. I kick him when he gets closer.

“Get the fuck away from me!” I scream. I watch him unzip his pants and step closer to the table. It’s fight or flight time. I feel my breathing change. Blood rushes through my veins; every hair on my body is standing on end, but I don’t move.

“John said Grant told him.”

“John and Grant are fucking liars,” I yell at him.

He stops and stands in front of me, just far enough away that I can’t kick him again. I watch him zip his pants back up, and he sits down.

Good, he is finally thinking rationally. What the fuck is going through his head?

“I don’t like sharing, Hannah.”

“Well, neither do I, Aiden, but you had no problem having sex with a business partner this afternoon.” I’m sitting on the table still, and I decide to get off and sit opposite him at the table.

“That was just business.” Does he believe the shit coming out of his mouth?

“It’s over, Aiden, and I never fucked your brother.”

“No, you didn’t, you just sucked his dick, like you did mine.” I look at him and feel horrified again.

“Yes, I did,” I say through clinched teeth. The words are forced out. I never wanted him to know, but I’m not a liar.

“It’s over, Aiden. We both fucked it up before it even began. You are going to the dinner with Becca, and I’m going with Grant, apparently.”

“If I had known she was your best friend, Hannah, I never would have…” His look softens as he stops talking.

“Save the lies, Aiden. I’m sure there will always be another woman you will have to close a deal with.” I walk over to the door again and he follows, grabbing me and turning me around. He tries to kiss me and I slap him hard again.

“What the fuck was that?” He spats, looking at me, pissed.

“What the fuck was what? I told you it’s over. No, more. Do I need to spell it out for you?” I speak the words slow and bitterly. He grabs
me again and pins me against the wall. I start swinging my arms and legs, but there is no hope, he is too strong. I get very still; I can feel my body react to the situation.

I wait until he is about to kiss me, and then I knee him right in between the legs. I almost twist my ankle as I run to the door. I pull on it again, and it doesn’t open. I pull repeatedly. I can hear Kevin on the other side of the door. I run over to where Aiden was standing before and I look for a button. I see a picture of a door and press it. Before I reach the door, Grant opens it. I run out past him and Kevin. I hear yelling and a loud crash. I turn around halfway down the hallway and see that Grant threw Aiden right through the glass wall. Aiden is on the ground, and Grant is on top of him, screaming. I start to go back and Kevin is right beside me. Grant looks up at me.

“Tell me what that was about, Hannah,” he demands, and I freeze.

Aiden is the first to speak. “I called her a fucking whore.”

Grant kicks him in the ribs. I see Shane and John running down the hallway. John grabs Grant off of Aiden, and Shane helps Aiden up. My first instinct is to look Aiden over to see how badly he’s hurt, but I refrain from going near him. I am shaking.

“Why did he call you that?” Grant pleads, placing his hands on my arms. I can’t talk. I can only stare at him in shock.

“Yeah, Hannah, tell him why I called you that,” Aiden says. I watch as Kevin punches him in the stomach. Shane and John let him have the cheap shot, then back him away.

I start to walk away from them, then find myself running to Grant’s office. I walk straight to his desk and frost the windows. I curl up in his chair and cry. I try to hold back the sobs, but they get louder. It takes a while to steady my breathing. I wipe the tears from my face and look around for a tissue. I see them on a table next to the couch, so I walk over and sit on the couch. I wipe under my eyes, trying to clean up my mess of a face. I feel my feet pulse and lean down to take my shoes off. I lean back onto the couch and internally berate myself. Why am I here? How the hell did I let this happen? I remember my weak words to myself about walking away. I’m stuck in a place I never thought I
would be in, between two brothers. How did I go from wanting no one to wanting two men at the same time? Grant walks in the door at what feels like hours later, and it startles me. Really it’s only been a few minutes.

“I thought you left. Wendy told me you ran in here.” He sounds worried. I see Kevin behind him and feel so embarrassed. I lean into the couch and cover my face with my hands. I need to make a break for it. I need to walk out of here and never come back.

“I have to go.” I stand up and grab my shoes.

“Hannah, I’ll get the kids. You stay here and calm down,” Kevin whispers as he hugs me.

“We will talk tonight,” he says after he kisses my cheek. I just nod and sit back down.
Shit
. I can’t even make myself leave, because I want to be here with Grant. Just the sight of him makes me want to stay. I feel exhausted all of a sudden. My body is tired, and I want to lie down and sleep. I watch Kevin and Grant shake hands, and Kevin leaves. I don’t want to talk to Grant; I don’t want him to know what I did with Aiden. It will ruin everything.
I have ruined everything
, I tell myself.

The thought makes tears leave my eyes again. I place my hands over my face. I feel Grant’s arms wrap around me, and I stiffen at his touch.

“It’s just me,” he whispers. I know it’s him, but he is going to hate me forever. I dread the look of betrayal and sadness when he finds out what I did. I feel sick. I know I created this mess, but I don’t have it in me to handle the shit storm I started when I allowed myself to get involved with both of them. I should just get up and leave and never see them again. I don’t have to sell the building to them. The company can go under. I don’t care. I just want to run from him. I want to run from the first man whom I think I could love and who could have loved me back.

“What did he do to you in there?” I wipe under my eyes.

“Nothing, Grant.” I take a deep breath.

“Hannah.” His voice sounds angry.

“He tried to make a move on me, so I kneed him in the balls.” I take a deep breath to push back the tears. My elbows are still throbbing, and I begin to rub them. Grant just sits and looks at me.

“I am going to fucking kill him.”

“Grant, I handled it. It’s over.” I stand and pace in front of him.

“Why did he call you that?” I’m ashamed of the words I have to say, even before they leave my mouth. I never thought I would have to explain anything to him. Why did I have to be so stupid and see Aiden this week? I look at Grant and feel things I haven’t felt since Chase. I want to curl up in his lap and have him make it all better, but I know after I tell him what I did with Aiden, he will kick me out, and I will never see him again.

The little bit of my heart that I have been able to put back together starts to shatter all over again. I feel like I’m about to lose something, but I realize I never had him, and it hurts.

“He called me that because he thought I slept with you.” I stop there. I’m terrified of saying any more.

“That’s all he said?” He looks me deep in my eyes, searching for something.

“You don’t want to know, Grant.” I try to get out of the conversation. I pace more and stop, leaving my back to him.

“Yes, I do, Hannah.” He stands up and wraps his arms around me.

“Kiss me one last time.” I turn and look into his eyes, and they look cloudy.

“Why do you think it will be the last time?” I feel my heart breaking more.

“Please,” I whisper.

He takes his hands and gently places them on my neck while lightly rubbing my jawline with his thumbs. He looks at me and places his lips on mine, kissing me so softly. He parts my lips slightly, kissing my bottom lip with his full lips. I stand there praying he can feel what I feel and that this all won’t matter. I want him to kiss life back into me. I start to kiss him back desperately; I feel this will be our last kiss.
I place my hands on his chest and feel his heart beat under the palm of my hand. He pulls back and looks at me again.

“There is nothing you can say that will change the way I feel about you.” I feel my stomach plummet down to the ground.

“Don’t say that.”

“Why? Its how I feel.” He pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. I hear his heart beat under my ear.

“Because things change and so do feelings.”

“What happened, Hannah? Tell me…I want to make it better.” He kisses the top of my head, trying to soothe me. I don’t want to speak the words, but I know I have to be truthful with him. He is the first man I want to be with, and I fucked it up before it even started. Now I have to tell him how I fucked it up and face the consequences. My heart plunges deep in my chest.

“I slept with Aiden.” The words taste like curdled milk coming out of my mouth. Grant pulls away a bit. His arms are still around me, but I’m not in his nook anymore. I think about how he will slowly push me away until I can’t feel him at all. I stand and wait for him to react, but he doesn’t. He just stands there, holding me.

“Hannah, breathe,” I hear him say and I realize I’m not breathing. I gasp for air, and he pulls me back into his nook against his body.

“I’m so sorry, Grant. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I would take it back if I could. I wasn’t thinking.” I start to choke up again, and he just holds me, trying to make me feel better. I want him to make me better, but I fear when he pulls away, I will never get him back, so I stay still and pray he will forgive me.

“I have one question.”

“Yes,” I say into his chest.

“Why didn’t you sleep with me?” I look into his eyes and know the answer immediately.

“I wanted to wait with you because I knew I could fall in love with you.” I press myself to him and hope he can feel what my heart feels for him.

“You think you could fall in love with me?” he whispers, and I nod my head. He kisses the top of my head and hugs me tight.

“I’m falling in love with you too, Hannah.” His voice is so soft and calm.

“You don’t hate me?” I ask as I look into his eyes again. They look clearer.

“I hate what you did, Hannah, but no, I don’t hate you.” He pulls away from me and walks over to the couch. I feel like I’m going to lose him, so I follow. I settle next to him on the couch and curl my feet under me. Why is this going over so easy? I thought he would be furious with me.

“I deserve this,” he says.

“No, you don’t,” I say, surprised.

“Hannah, you don’t know what Aiden and I have been through.” I watch him as he runs his hands through his hair and then he leans back into the couch. We both look up when we hear a knock at the door. Wendy, his assistant, walks in with a bag and places it on the bar near the door.

“Thank you, Wendy, that will be all.” She turns and walks out without saying a word.

“You should eat something, Hannah. I ordered us lunch.” He brings the bag over and places it on the table. I slip down to the floor and sit in front of the sandwich he placed in front of me. He sits next to me on the floor. I open the white paper and smell the Reuben. It’s my favorite and somehow he knew this. I smile over at him.

“I asked Kevin what you would want.” I have to give him credit; he thought to ask what I would want. It says a lot about him and how much he cares for me. I lean over, and he meets me halfway for a kiss.
How the hell did I get off so easy?
I wonder. Chase must have heard my pleas and granted me the wish of keeping Grant. I begin to eat and Grant starts talking again.

“Aiden is a spiteful bastard, and he has been waiting to pay me back, Hannah. I really can’t blame you for what happened, or at least I don’t want to. I slept with his girlfriend a few years ago. We got into a
big fight and didn’t talk to each other for a year. She was bad news, and I thought I was doing him a favor. He has seduced each girlfriend I have had since. He fucked Carla, I know he did. I never cared because I didn’t love her and I wasn’t home enough to care.” I watch him take another bite and chew.

“I knew he was up to something. He overheard me talking to John about you. From then on I noticed him pulling you in. I know how he can be, Hannah. I send him out to our female clientele for a reason; he can be quite convincing when he needs to be.”

I think about what he is saying. Did Aiden use me to get back at Grant? I feel like a dirty whore again and lose my appetite. I look at the sandwich with disgust and wrap it back up. I watch Grant finish his and crumple the paper up and throw it back in the bag.

“I don’t care what you did in the past. It’s from today forward that I care about. I want to be with you, Hannah. I want to make this work.” I melt with his words, and they make me feel hopeful. I climb into his lap and lightly touch his face.

“I want to make this work more than I have ever wanted anything, Grant.” I cup his face, and he pulls me in for a kiss. I wish I could sleep next to him tonight; I need him to hold me to make me feel better. For some reason he calms me. I can feel the pieces of my heart lift off the floor and find their way back to their home in my chest.