had. But I didn"t dare voice that opinion.
“As much as she scares me, I do feel bad for her,”
he admitted. “I also feel bad for Rebecca. Kent"s not the
person he appears to be.”
I turned back to him in interest. “What do you
mean?”
“I don"t wish to go into detail. Let"s just say that Ann
is much better off without him. It may not seem like it, but
she"s the lucky one between her and Rebecca.”
My eyes widened in surprise. I knew Alex didn"t like
to spread gossip, even when it was true. He would only
warn someone that something or someone else wasn"t a
good idea to pursue. As much as I wanted to know what he
saw Kent doing, I decided to keep quiet.
“Should I tell my aunt and uncle to get the loan for
you?” Alex pressed.
“Yes. It"s not like Ann wil ever want me. I have
nothing to stay here for.”
“You"re better off.”
I saw Debbie enter the classroom. “See you at
lunch,” I said as I left her seat.
***
That Sunday night I chose my best suit. I knew it
would be the last time I would see Ann at a dinner party
before I left for Jamestown, North Dakota. I fixed my tie as I
went over the words I would tell her. There was nothing to
lose at this point. I would simply tell her how I felt and tell
her that I knew she didn"t return my feelings but I wanted to
let her know before I left. At least, she would know
someone loved her even if Kent no longer did. Perhaps, it
would give her courage to find someone else.
I glanced at the picture I had of her on my dresser. I
hesitated to take it with me to North Dakota. What was the
35
Falling In Love With Her Husband
point in holding onto the past? I picked it up and stared at it
for a long moment. If she loved me, I could marry her and
take her with me. But even if she did love me, would she
really be content to go without the luxuries we were used to?
From what Alex said, the farmer didn"t enjoy servants who
did their every bidding. Ann wouldn"t be able to afford her
jewelry and fancy dresses. She would have to learn to
cook, clean, and do whatever it was farmer"s wives did. No.
She wouldn"t want to deal with the hardships out west. I
walked over to the trash can and held her picture over it.
Alex was right. It was time to let go of the past and move
on.
“Mr. Todd, the Statesman family has arrived,” Laura,
one of my parents" servants, said.
“I"l be right there,” I replied. I dropped the picture in
the trash can. After tonight, I wouldn"t have anything else to
do with Ann.
I joined my sisters who were giggling around Ann
who seemed overwhelmed by the attention. I stood to the
side while Agnes and Abigail discussed corsets. I closed
my eyes. I knew more about female clothing items and
other feminine details than I cared to admit. Maybe being
alone on a farm would be a blessing. Then I wouldn"t have
to concern myself with such things ever again.
“Todd,” my mother greeted as she walked over to
me. “I think it would be nice if you offered to escort Ann to
the dance this Wednesday.”
“I"m the last person she wants to go with,” I replied.
“Oh, she just doesn"t know what a fine young man
you are. She probably needs a nudge in the right direction.”
“Please don"t. I appreciate what you"re trying to do,
but it"s not meant to be.”
“Wel , from what I heard, there are no other available
bachelors to take her. It might be God bringing you two
together. You never know.”
36
Falling In Love With Her Husband
“She doesn"t love me. Besides, she might like to
stay home for a change. She doesn"t look like she"s up to
dancing.”
In fact, during the meal, she looked like all she
wanted to do was go home and stay locked up in her
bedroom. Despite Alex"s insinuation that Kent wasn"t good
for her, it was still rough to watch her. She seemed sad and
trapped at the same time.
Our parents made their usual rounds of updates on
what their children were up to. I cringed as my father
discussed his plans for me at the bank. I hated to
disappointment him. I knew he would be upset when he
woke up one morning and I was gone. I would leave a note
explaining what I did and that I was still thankful to him and
my mother for all their care, but I knew it wouldn"t help. I
was about to get disowned.
At one point, my mother asked Ann if she planned to
go to the dance, but Ann stared at her plate, absentmindedly
fiddling with her peas.
“Ann?” Her mother lightly tapped her on the arm.
She immediately turned her attention to her mother.
“Mrs. Brothers asked you a question, dear.”
“I"m sorry. What did you ask, Mrs. Brothers?” she
politely asked.
My mother smiled at her. “Are you going to the
dance this Wednesday?”
“Yes, I will be going,” she softly answered.
I realized that she didn"t feel like going but would go
to please her parents. I sympathized with her predicament.
Only, I was getting out of my prison.
“Todd, would you be so kind as to escort Ann to the
dance?” my mother blurted out.
My face grew red from a mixture of embarrassment
and anger. Hadn"t we already discussed this? “She may
not wish to go with me, Mother,” I kindly, but firmly, replied.
I couldn"t look at Ann since I was too humiliated.
37
Falling In Love With Her Husband
“Of course, I would be honored to go with you,
Todd,” Ann replied.
I couldn"t say no with everyone staring at me. I knew
she only agreed because everyone expected her to. And
now I would take her because everyone expected me to. I
forced myself to look at her and smile. “Then I wil take
you.”
I pretended to be intensely interested in the roast
beef dinner after that. If the dinner could have gotten worse,
I didn"t know how. In three weeks, this would all be a
memory. It was the only consolation I had.
Once dinner was over, I decided it was time to tell
her what was on my mind. I didn"t want her to spend the
next couple of days worried about whether or not I would
ask to court her after the dance. The situation was awkward
enough as it was. Since she was ready to run off with
Agnes, I had to yell her name across the room in order to
get her attention.
She and Agnes stopped. Turning around, she
politely asked, “Yes?”
I hated being put on the spot. Everyone was staring
us, and it irritated me. I would have to speak with her in
private. I walked up to her before I spoke. “Could I speak
with you on the veranda?”
I knew our parents would be fine with this since they
could see us from the window.
She nodded and followed me out.
Now that she was in front of me, I forgot my well-
rehearsed speech. She sat on the bench and patiently
waited for me to talk. I shifted uneasily from one foot to the
other. I was going to tell her and that would be it. “What I
have to say isn"t easy for me,” I slowly began, staring at the
ground. I couldn"t make eye contact. I feared she would
laugh at me. Taking a deep breath, I quickly said, “I love
you.”
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Falling In Love With Her Husband
It wasn"t the way I had envisioned telling her a year
ago. Back then, I planned to hold her in my arms and tell
her before I kissed her. This wasn"t anything like that. I felt
like a fool who was out of place. Hoping to avoid any further
awkwardness, I continued to talk.
“I know you don"t love me,” I admitted.
Before she could interrupt, I requested that she let
me continue. She simply nodded and waited.
I sat next to her, making sure there was adequate
distance between us so I didn"t spook her. “I wanted you to
know how I felt about you before I left. I don"t want to work
at my father"s bank. I know it"s what my family expects of
me, but I"m not going to do it. I want to be a farmer. I know
it sounds sil y but I believe it"s God"s purpose for my life. I
have a friend who knows a man out west who wants to sell
his farm and house so he can be close to his grown
children. I"m going to purchase his property.”
“You"re leaving? When?” She was obviously
stunned. No one but Alex knew my plans up to this point, so
I wasn"t surprised by her reaction.
“I"l leave the day after we graduate.”
“Where are you going?”
“North Dakota.”
“That far? But what about your parents and sisters?”
“My sisters wil get used to it. I think it might even
show them that they need to pursue their dreams so they
can live the lives they want. My parents will mostly likely
disown me.”
“Oh, they wouldn"t do something so drastic. Sure,
they wil be upset but they"l accept it.”
“No, they won"t. Trust me, Ann. I know them better
than you do.”
She closed her mouth and nodded.
“I know how you feel about Kent and I"ve accepted
that,” I went on. “It"s not my intention to make you
39
Falling In Love With Her Husband
uncomfortable. Now you don"t have to dread going to the
dance with me.”
Her mother tapped on the window. “We need to go,”
she yelled.
Ann turned back to me and smiled. “I"l miss you
when you leave. I won"t tell anyone your plans. And I"m
sorry I never gave you a chance. You are very nice.”
“Thank you.” I stood up with her. “I hope this wil
make going to the dance with me easier for you.”
“I don"t want to go to the dance because Kent and
Rebecca will be there, but it will be less of a burden since
you"l be with me.”
That was the first time she seemed to glad to be in
my presence. I took her picture out of the trash can when I
returned to my room. I stared at it again. If nothing else,
she was a friend. I packed it in my suitcase. I could always
throw it out after I made it to North Dakota.
40
Falling In Love With Her Husband
Ann’s Point of View
Wednesday after school, I started getting ready for
the dance. I wanted to wear the nice emerald dress, but my
mother insisted I wear the pink one.
“But it"s so tight,” I argued. “I can hardly breathe in
it.”
“I know it"s uncomfortable, but it is your best dress.
Discomfort is a small price to pay for beauty, my dear.
Besides, you don"t want Rebecca showing up in a more
expensive dress.”
I sighed as Ginny pulled on the strings of my corset.
I almost passed out when she was done.
“You will be nice to Todd tonight, won"t you dear?”
My mother handed the dress to Ginny who put it on me.
“Yes, I promise.” I winced as Ginny fastened the
many buttons up the back of the dress. “I might faint
though.”
“Once you are married, you may relax your dress
code. I want to be sure you find a suitable bachelor.”
41
Falling In Love With Her Husband
I nodded. I already knew who would make a good
husband. Someone who wanted what was best for me.
Someone who loved me and not my family"s money.
Someone dependable. Someone I could trust. Someone
like Todd. My parents were right, and it was time I listened
to them.
I looked up at the mirror. This was it. I"d come too
far to back out now. I slipped on the pink gloves and hat to
complete the outfit.
I left my bedroom when the doorbell chimed. Todd
was here. In the hallway, I glanced at my reflection in the
mirror one last time. No one would guess my sudden plan.
I would ask Todd to take me with him when he went to North
Dakota.
“Here"s your fan, for when you feel hot at the dance.”
My mother handed the white lace fan to me. “Now, our
servants are taking the rest of the night off, and your father
and I will be visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Brothers at the
Clemmens" house. We should be back shortly before
midnight. Mr. and Mrs. Carson will be chaperoning the