Falling in Love With Her Husband (20 page)

“And it hurts too,” I quietly admitted. I sighed, my

anger drained. “The afternoon started out perfectly. Agnes

and I wanted to help her make cookies. I thought she might

like to speak with Agnes and get to know her. If I had

known that wasn"t the case, I wouldn"t have gone over

there.”

“Maybe she needs time to think things through.

There"s got to be a reason for what happened.”

“I don"t care what the reason is. She had no excuse

for treating me that way. It was as if I was inconveniencing

her.” I shook my head. “I"m just going to forget it. She"s not

worth the effort if she"s going to be childish.”

I didn"t wait for him to respond. I wanted to be alone,

so I went to my bedroom. Thoughts of her, Todd, and North

Dakota swirled through my mind. Did I make a mistake in

coming here? Maybe I should have stayed in Virginia. If I

had stayed, I"d probably be with Kent. I stared out the

window. It was a clear night. The kind of night that should

have brought peace instead of inner turmoil.

I knew I needed to pray. I also knew I shouldn"t be

wanting Kent when I was married to Todd. I made a vow

before God to love, honor and obey Todd for the rest of my

life. My thoughts sobered. I had been so concerned about

what I wanted that I hadn"t bothered to think of what God

wanted me to do.

Startled at the revelation, I got down on my knees

beside my bed and prayed. As I prayed, I held nothing

back. I confessed all my thoughts about Kent and how I

was hurt when he ended our courtship. I also admitted that I

married Todd to get out of a situation that I didn"t want to be

in. I had used Todd. He didn"t deserve it, even if he knew

what my feelings toward him were. I wasn"t being faithful to

him when I considered the possibility of leaving with Kent.

In that instant, I realized that love wasn"t a feeling. It

was a choice. I didn"t have to be at the mercy of my whims.

I had freewill. I could choose to love Todd. There was

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certainly nothing repulsive about him. In fact, he was

absolutely wonderful. He treated me much better than Kent

ever had. And he was handsome. So there wasn"t any

reason I shouldn"t desire him. There was no reason why I

couldn"t love him.

I also prayed about the situation with Barbara and

what to do about it. I prayed for Agnes and what she might

encounter when she faced her parents who were bound to

find out she came to visit me and Todd rather than go on a

class trip to New England. I prayed that Todd"s parents

would bring him back into their hearts. Then I recalled all

the good things Todd had done for me and how much he

loved me. My last thought was that I loved him before I fell

asleep on the floor.

***

When I woke up, my body felt stiff but my heart was

light. I eagerly got dressed and hopped down the stairs. I

couldn"t wait to see Todd. I was ready to final y put Kent

behind me and start my life as Todd"s wife.

To my surprise, I saw Agnes making French toast.

“Good morning,” I greeted.

She grinned at me. “Look who"s cooking! I didn"t

want to wake you so I dared to explore the great unknown.”

“That"s very brave.”

“Do you want some?”

I pretended to think about it. “Wil I have to be brave

to eat it?”

She rolled her eyes at my joke. “Who knows? It

may be better than what you make.”

“Then I better have some. Did Todd go to work?”

“Yes.”

I sat down. He didn"t usually leave this early. I

thanked her as she handed me the plate of food. After

taking a bite, I said, “This is good!”

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“Thanks. Are you feeling better?”

I nodded. “Much better. I"m sorry I was inhospitable

yesterday. My parents would faint if they knew how I

behaved.”

“You had a lot on your mind.”

I knew she meant Kent. “Agnes, I have something to

tell you. I did a lot of thinking last night, and I recalled how

good Todd has been to me. I"m not going to leave him.”

She looked relieved. “I was scared for awhile there.”

“You real y wanted us to be together for a long time,

didn"t you?”

“I just thought you two made a good couple.

Besides, it"s nice to have you as a sister.”

After she set her own plate down and sat in her

chair, she changed the subject. “I do wonder why Kent

suddenly ended his engagement to Rebecca. It seemed like

one day everything was fine, and the next, it wasn"t.

Rebecca doesn"t even come out of her house anymore.”

“When did he end their engagement?”

“About three months ago. You handled being

without him better than she is.”

“Her parents aren"t forcing her to go out and attend

social functions like mine did, are they?”

“No. They aren"t. Well, I"m glad your parents

insisted you go to social functions. You wouldn"t have run

off and married Todd if they hadn"t.”

“I got lucky. What if I ended up with someone who

mistreated me? I was vulnerable, and it would have been

easy to run off with the wrong man. It was my parents" faith

in Todd that made me pick him.”

“Do you regret marrying Todd?”

“No. But I am sorry our families weren"t at the

wedding.”

***

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Since the weather was nice, Agnes and I decided to

go into town so she could do some shopping. It felt good to

go shopping with the small amount of money I had saved up

for Todd"s Christmas gift. Agnes had her allowance to

spend, and she insisted on buying things form North Dakota.

“I miss shopping with you,” I said as we entered the

barn.

“I do too. It just isn"t the same without you.”

I wiped a tear from my eye and focused on getting

the buggy ready. When we got everything set up, I realized

I also missed my trips to town with Barbara. I pushed aside

the ache in my heart and urged the horses forward. The air

was brisk but felt good. The ride into town seemed longer

that day for some reason.

“Who"s that?” Agnes interrupted my thoughts by

pointing to the side of the road.

I glanced at the direction she indicated. I didn"t hide

my surprise. What was Mrs. Carson doing out here without

her horse? She was all by herself and an abandoned

buggy.

An instant surge of gratification swept over me. It

served her right to have to walk to town after all the

gossiping she did about Todd. I was ready to ride past her

when a question popped into my head.
What if it was you?

I sighed. It took all of my energy to stop and call her

name.

She turned around. I saw that a wheel on her buggy

had fallen off.

“What happened?” Agnes asked for me.

Mrs. Carson choked back her sobs as she spoke.

“The wheel came off and the horse ran off. I don"t know

how he got away but he did. And I-I…can"t believe it. He

just ran off.”

I glanced at the direction she motioned to. He went

south. Suddenly, I felt compassion for her. She was cold

and afraid out here all by herself.

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“Can we take you to town?” I offered. “I know where

your husband works.”

She agreed and we helped her into the buggy. It

was meant for two people so we squeezed in together. We

gave her some blankets so she could warm up.

“Thank you,” she softly replied, stil fighting back her

tears.

“We"re heading into town anyway,” I replied.

The rest of the ride was quiet. I supposed Mrs.

Carson was as uncomfortable around me as I was around

her. I didn"t know what to say to her, and even Agnes was

at loss for words. We all breathed a sigh of relief when we

arrived in town. The trip had been difficult for all of us.

“Is your husband at lunch?” I asked.

She took note of the time on the clock in front of the

bank. “No. He wil stil be at work.”

I nodded and urged the horses to trot until we

stopped in front of the small building between the library and

the church.

“Thank you, Mrs. Brothers,” she quietly replied.

Her humbled expression softened my hard heart.

“You"re welcome.”

She got out of the buggy and ran into the post office.

I lightly clicked the reins on the horses so that they

took me and Agnes to the mercantile. Before I set the

brake, Agnes put her hand on my arm.

“What"s wrong?” I asked.

“I"ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I think I know

why Barbara has been reserved with you.”

Curious, I waited for her to continue.

“She was acting fine until I showed up. I am

guessing you two are close friends?”

I nodded.

“I think she"s afraid that since I"m here, there"s no

place for her in your life.”

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My eyes widened. Could it be true? “Oh, that"s sil y!

I can have both of you for my friends.”

She smiled. “Of course, you can. But you and I

shared our childhood together. I"m now your sister-in-law,

and we have so much in common. She probably feels like

she doesn"t belong with us when we"re together.”

I hadn"t considered that possibly.

“Anyway, I notice she"s in town today. Why don"t I

do your job at the Coleys while you talk to her?” She pointed

to the doctor"s office across the street. “I"m sure you two will

work things out.”

I knew the Coleys would be fine if Agnes took my

place for the day. I agreed and we parted. I took a deep

breath as I walked to the doctor"s office. I didn"t want to lose

Barbara"s friendship. Though she was dramatically different

from my childhood friend, I valued her just as much. I slowly

opened the door.

“Mrs. Brothers!”

I immediately grinned as three little children came

running over to hug me. Calvin, Bruce and Molly were

excited to see me. I hugged them back, delighted by their

warm welcome. I glanced up and saw Barbara say good-

bye to the doctor who returned to the backroom in the small

building. I hesitated for a moment but decided our

friendship was too important to worry about a rejection.

“How are you today, Barbara?” I asked. I stood up

and walked over to her, her children on my heels.

She smiled. “Actual y, I"m great. I just found out I"m

in the family way.”

“That"s wonderful!” I hugged her. “Is that why you"re

here?”

She nodded. “I kept thinking I had the flu, but John

insisted I come here to see if it was something else. It turns

out he was right.”

I frowned. “Why did you think you had the flu?”

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“I feel sick all the time and I don"t have my usual

energy.”

“Is that common when a woman"s expecting?”

“With most women, it is. Didn"t your mother discuss

such things with you?”

I shook my head. “I don"t know my real mother. I

was adopted by my parents. They weren"t able to have

children.”

“Oh. I"m sorry.”

“You didn"t know. I didn"t have anyone to tell me

about expecting. The teachers were too busy making sure

we knew how to act at a dinner party or decorate a house. I

learned how to read and write and do math though, so it

wasn"t a total waste of my time.”

She considered my words. “If you were in the family

way, would you know?”

I blushed. I knew how babies were conceived. At

least, I wasn"t that ignorant! Even young ladies discussed

those details when no adults were listening. “I know I"m not

in the family way. I stil menstruate.”

“Would you like me to tell you what the common

symptoms are? Perhaps soon you will feel ill and figure out

it"s not an illness.”

Her kind grin brought relief to me. It was as if

nothing was wrong. Still, I knew I had to discuss it. “Yes, I

do need to know that,” I admitted. “First though, I would like

to discuss a matter that has been troubling me. Could we sit

down?”

She seemed uncertain but followed me to a seat in

the office. We talked quietly while her children played. No