Falling In (5 page)

              I wipe my wet face, and through it all, I actually smile. A
real
smile.

              “I will tell you this, though. I know we barely know each other, but you blow me away. To live what you’ve lived through and still come out this strong woman and a hell of a mother—it’s—inspiring. You’re—”

              “Hey.”

Cole.

I turn away from Jake and see Cole lingering a good distance in front of us.
Doubtful he heard anything
. He looks so hesitant, surely wondering why our neighbor is sitting so close to his girl on his steps. I can’t help but to wish he had come back just a few moments later, wanting desperately to hear what Jake was going to say. I instantly feel guilty at the thought. I look to Jake, then Cole. Placing a forced smile on my face, I decide to lie. Lie to the one man I’ve never lied to in my entire life.

Shit. Guess there’s a first time for everything
.

              “Jake came over to see if me and the kids wanted to meet him and Ben for a play date tomorrow. I know you have a game, but I think the kids would love it.” Turning my attention back on Jake, I say, “So yeah, how about we meet you at the park down the street around 12:30? I’ll bring lunch for everyone!”

              Jake looks at me for a beat, sighs, and then puts a convincing smile on his face.
Thank goddess.
             

              “Yeah, sounds good. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, guys.”

              Jake gets up from the steps and walks away. Feeling his eyes on me, I turn back to Cole. Without saying anything, in that one look I know the fight is over. And I’ve won.

For now.

Evangeline

I’m at Jake’s door. For what, I’m not entirely sure. I just know I need to see him. I need to look into those mint green eyes that have been camping out inside mind since that first day we met. He opens it before I even bring my hand up to knock. Yanking me inside the house and pinning me to the now closed door, he growls out, “I want you.”

Desire has completely overtaken his eyes, setting my body on fire. My lower belly tightens, my pussy instantly wet and willing.
Ready
. “So take me,” I say breathlessly.

I don’t want to fight this anymore. I don’t think I can. He crushes his lips against mine in a millisecond. His tongue invades my mouth, exploring deeply. Our tongues caressing one another. Our bodies are pressed up against each other, so tight we’re almost one. I can feel his hard erection against the top of my jeans. It’s begging to come out, to be inside me. And I want it.
God, do I want it
.

He abruptly pulls away, our chests heaving and pulses racing like we just ran a 10K. His eyes are asking me if this is okay, if this is what I want. I answer his question by raising my tank top over my head and letting it fall from my fingertips, exposing my breasts. My nipples pebble from his penetrating stare. I slip my index fingers into the waistband of my skirt and panties, pulling them slowly down my legs. I stand there, against the door, baring my naked body for him. It’s humming with need.

With hooded eyes, he leaves my face, traveling down my body inch by inch and then comes back up, meeting my anticipatory gaze. As we hold our stare, he peels his shirt off, dropping it next to mine. Then he unbuckles his jeans and steps out of them. No underwear. My eyes go wide at the sight of his cock. He’s so hard and big.
I mean really, really big
. My mouth waters and my breathing picks up.
I have to touch him
.

I take a step towards him and wrap my small hands around his throbbing width. Gripping tightly, I move up to his head, palming the drops of pre-come that have escaped. I move down and back up, repeating the motion over and over until I hear Jake say, “Fuck, Evangeline. Stop or I’m going to come right now in that tiny little hand of yours!” I pause, and before I even pull my hand away, I’m lifted onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He backs me into the door. Looking at me like he can barely control himself, he gruffly orders, “Tell me, Evangeline. Tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me, Jake. Right here. Fuck me hard and fast. Please. Now.”
Oh God, if he isn’t in me right this second I’m gonna—

“Fuck!”

“
Ahhh
!”

We scream out in unison as he enters me. I cringe slightly at the invasion of his enormous size. He stills for moment, noticing my discomfort. I take a deep breath, trying to adjust to him. As the pain subsides, I whisper, “
Fuck me
.”

And he does. He pounds into me relentlessly, filling me up and hitting all the right buttons. I’ve never felt so good.
Satisfied
. My hands are on his sculpted shoulders as he licks and nips my neck, then moves to my mouth. I moan so loud, I don’t even recognize my voice.

“God, I knew you would feel so damn good! I’m so close, baby. Are you ready?” Jake breathes out.

Engrossed in the way he feels inside me, I can’t even muster a reply. I just moan. Loudly. He must take that as a
yes
because he readjusts me so I’m being held up with only his left arm. Snaking his right arm through our moving bodies, he puts his fingers on my swollen clit. With a few circular motions, I shatter into a millions pieces.

My body is wracking with aftershocks of euphoria from my fast but mind-blowing orgasm and I scream out his name. Feeling my pussy tighten around his cock, he pumps twice more, than spills inside me. Resting our heads on each other’s shoulders, our breathing evens out. We both sigh. He lifts his head to me, but it’s not Jake’s face I’m staring at.

It’s Cole’s.

              My eyes pop open, gasping for air as I shoot straight up in bed. Breathing erratically, my hands shake as if I’m going through withdrawals.
Fuck.

              It was just a dream.

I take a deep breath and rest my head between my legs
. Shit, what was that?
It felt so real. I can still feel his hands on me, feel him inside me. I close my eyes, trying to savor a moment that will never happen beyond my subconscious. The thought leaves me feeling uneasy and disappointed, and then I feel guilty because of it.

I stare down at a sleeping Cole, wondering for the millionth time this week why I can’t just get Jake out of my damn head. I’m regretting making that play date with him today, but it was the first excuse I could come with. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see him. To hear his voice. To look into those mesmerizing green eyes. To see and hear him laugh. And all of that is why I should cancel. But I know the kids would love it.
Effing kids
. I can do this. It was just a stupid, earth-shattering, eyes-rolling-in-the-back-of-my-head dream. I glance over at the clock—
5:00am
. There is no way I can go back to sleep now, seriously anxious that I’ll dream about round two. I quietly move out of bed, grab my robe that’s hanging on the bathroom door and head downstairs.
Tea—I need tea.
Hopefully, it will calm my nerves.

After I finish with the mundane task of filling my kettle with water, I hunch over with my elbows on the counter and wait. My mind takes me back to last night. I actually told Jake everything, revealed my deepest and darkest secret. I am so confused. Not because I told him, but because I’m
not
freaking out that I told him. It’s not exactly something I scream off the rooftops. I don’t know what it is about that man, but I just feel like I
know
him, and him me. There’s a pull, an unexplainable kinship between us. We’ve barely spoke, but I truly think he understands me.
Gets me
. I feel lighter, like maybe last night he took some of my pain away, ingesting it into himself.

Is that crazy?

It sounds insane in my head.

The loud whistle from my kettle jostles me from my thoughts. I pour the water into my
Keep Portland Weird
mug, dip a bag of Chamomile inside, and head for the couch.

As I stare out the window, I dive back into my scattered thoughts. I wonder what Cole would think about me telling Jake our history.
Jesus, what am I talking about?
He’d be livid
. He wouldn’t understand, and I don’t blame him. Jake’s practically a stranger. Cole doesn’t feel what I feel.
Obviously
. I most definitely cannot tell him. I should probably tell Jake not to say anything, although I doubt he would.
God, now I’m keeping secrets from Cole
. Shit. My stomach is all tied up in knots. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I don’t even know
what
I’m feeling. I just know that for seven days, Jake has taken up a permanent residence in my mind and I don’t want him to leave. I have no idea what that means.
Fuck.

              “Good morning, baby. You’re up early.” Cole comes down the stairs looking sleepy and sexy in loose fitting pajama bottoms and a bare chest. We didn’t talk much last night after he got back. Just went inside, up to our bedroom, and had incredible make-up sex. I smile at the memory. Then I remember why I’m up so damn early. My smile quickly disappears.

              “I had a bad dream. Couldn’t go back to sleep,” I half-lie.
It was a very bad dream that was oh so good
. He comes over to the couch and sits next to me with a cautious look on his face.

              “It wasn’t about last night, was it? About the fight? Shit, baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I was pestering you about it. I know how you feel. I get it, I do. Matt finally proposed to his girlfriend last weekend, and he seems so happy. It’s all he’s talked about. I just couldn’t get it out of my head. But I realized last night that I don’t need that to be happy. I
am
happy. I’ll be happy as long as I have you, with or without a ring.”

              He’s so convincing, I almost believe him. But I know him. I know he wants to feel what he’s saying, but deep down, he doesn’t. And that makes me feel so fucking guilty on so many levels. This wonderful, caring man is putting my needs before his, like always. And because I am a selfish coward, I go along with it.

              “It’s okay, babe. We’re okay. I love you,” I say because I do.
I love him so fucking much
. And I wish I could give him what he wants but I just can’t. It doesn’t feel right. Setting down my tea on the table, I grab his neck and pull him into a kiss. Pushing all thoughts of Jake to the back of my mind, I deepen the kiss. I need to erase that dream. Need to take away this guilt that is slowly growing inside me every day.

              And have a feeling that it’s just going to get worse.                                                        

              Cole pulls away from me. “Hey, where’d you go? Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks with unease.

              “I’m here. I’m okay. Just make love to me, Cole. Please. I need you.” I reassure him with my words and plead with stormy eyes. He looks at me with so much love, it makes my heart pound and my body tremor. He softly pushes me down onto the couch, opens my legs, and situates himself between them. I can feel his hard erection through his pajama bottoms. He palms my cheek and looks directly into my eyes.

“Evie, I love you so much. You’re my everything. I can’t lose you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” His eyes are searching mine for something. I don’t know what, but he looks so distressed.
Like he thinks he’s losing me.
Why would he think that?

“
Shhh
, Cole, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He must see the sincerity in my eyes, hear it in my voice, because his once worried blue eyes turn grey with desire.

He takes his hand from my cheek and slowly moves down the center of my chest to the belt of my robe. He unties and opens the soft cotton barrier, revealing my naked body. He growls in response. Looking at me appreciatively, stretch marks and all, he dips his tongue into my belly button. I moan at the contact. He swirls it around before licking a trail up to my needy breasts. He licks my left nipple, lathering it with his wet tongue, then blows on it. The warm air makes it hard. He sticks the nipple in his mouth, sucking and nibbling, then moves onto the right breast, repeating his torture. I buck my hips, grinding against his hard cock, squirming and moaning. I’m ready to combust before he’s even inside me. “Cole, please, I need you inside me.” I beg breathlessly.

“I know, baby. Patience. God, do you feel what you do to me? Feel how much I want you? Always, baby. I’ll always want you.” He huffs out between sucking and kneading my breasts, pushing his straining erection against my wet core.

“Oh God, Cole!” I scream as the friction of his pants and his hot mouth on me sends me over the edge, making my entire body convulse in staggering spasms.

“Fuck, Evie. I love watching you come.” He stands up from the couch. Finally taking his pants off, he climbs back on top of me, entering me inch by inch. His head tilts up in pleasure. “You’re so wet, baby. This never gets old. You feel so damn good.”

“
Cole
!” I whimper as he moves in and out at a leisurely pace. Gripping the back of my head, resting his forehead on top of mine, he pushes even deeper inside of me, hitting that sweet spot. Sweat is dripping on my face. Our eyes meet, and with a few more thrusts, we come together. We lay there in each other’s arms, breathing into one another. The air is thick with love and an uneasiness that I don’t understand. He looks back up to me with a very satisfied smile on his face. I shake the foreboding feeling and smile back at him.

“I wish we could stay like this all day. But unless we want to traumatize our children, we should probably get up,” he says regrettably.

I laugh. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” I reply as he pulls out of me and grabs some tissues from the coffee table.

“Hey, you want me to make you breakfast? An omelet or something?”

And all thoughts of Jake come flooding back.
Shit
. I wince. “No, no omelets. I think I’m swearing off eggs for awhile,” I say apologetically.

“Pancakes?”

“Pancakes are perfect!”

And so is he.

*** 

Just as Cole is flipping the last batch of blueberry pancakes, the kids come racing downstairs with wild hair and open arms for good morning hugs. We all sit at the table, stuffing our faces with bacon and soft buttery goodness, talking about our plans for the day. I tell them about the play date they have with Ben. Cheering erupts through mouthfuls of food. I look across the table at Cole and am met with curious eyes. I smile brightly at him, hoping to erase whatever he is thinking. He smiles back, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Answering a question from Dyl about baseball, he turns away from me and I am left with a cold feeling.