Falling In (28 page)

              My heart breaks all over again as I watch his once tense shoulders slump in the awful realization that I am right. He drops my hand and turns to leave without a word. I plead out his name, but all he does is shake his head with his back to me before opening the door and leaving me standing alone in defeat. I slowly make my way to the door and close it, shutting out my guilt and well-deserved hurt with it.

Evangeline

Morning comes too soon as my alarm rouses me from a fitful night of sleep. My subconscious decided to torture me with dreams of sad blue eyes and green ones that could no longer look at me, as the men owning them walked away from me without a glance back. I lay in bed for a minute, attempting to shake off the residual foreboding emotions my nightmares left me with. It’s time to face the music, once again.

Gradually forcing my body out of bed, one appendage at a time, I stand up and stretch, my muscles feeling tight and sore with tension and stress. I walk over to the bathroom and tinkle before grabbing my robe and slipping it over my half naked body. It feels soothing to my skin, and I take a few long, deep breaths before making my way to the bedroom door, my heart beginning to pound at the thought of seeing Cole again after everything that happened yesterday and last night.

Suck it the eff up, Evie.

As I turn the knob and open the door, I bump right into Cole’s rock-solid chest.

“Shit.” We say in unison. I take a few steps back into the room, allowing him entry. He just stands there, looking uncomfortable as hell.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were—” I say as he talks over me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were awake yet. I was just getting my coat. It’s cold and rainy out.”

“Oregon, right?” I say awkwardly.

“Right.” He confirms before moving past me and into the closet. I stand at the door, wincing from embarrassment. This feels so weird. I don’t think I’ve ever felt uneasy or daft with Cole. It’s always been so simple. We just flowed.
Always
. Now it’s like we’re two people who don’t even know each other at all.
What the hell have I done?

“Hey, so could you possibly pack the kids’ bags up for my parents house while I’m at work, and I’ll pick them up later?” he asks as he walks out of the closet with the coat I bought him for Christmas.

“Yeah. Sure. I can do that.”

He nods stiffly before walking around me and out the door again.

“Cole, about last night—”

He stops dead in his tracks, but doesn’t turn around.

“Just leave it, Evie,” he sighs out.

“But—”

“
Leave it
!” he says so harshly it makes me jump.

I watch him walk swiftly down the hall and downstairs, getting as far away from me as he possibly can, mentally and physically. I jump once again as the sound of him slamming the front door ricochets against the walls of our old house. 

The rest of the morning goes smoother than how it started. Once I calmed my nerves down, I woke the kids up and over breakfast told them that they are going to spend some time at their grandparents’ house. Thankfully, they didn’t ask too many questions. All I had to say was that I needed to get some writing done, so I was staying home. I’ve done it before, so it was believable enough. I just hate lying to the kids. It makes my skin crawl. But I definitely couldn’t tell them the truth. Not when I have no idea what’s going to happen to my life.
Our lives.

Before I knew it, they were out the door and running towards Ben, who was sitting on our steps with Jake right next to him. As always, our eyes find each other instantaneously. His green ones are filled with uncertainty, while mine are filled with need, the need to be in his arms and feel okay once again. He must see it, because he exhales deeply and gives me his small yet cocky as hell smile. We don’t say a word, nor move from our positions. Just watch the kids run off with shouted goodbyes toward the bus that just approached. We continue to watch as it loads, and wave as it begins to move. Once it’s out of sight, Jake jumps to his feet at the same time that I unexpectedly run the short distance to him, crashing my body into his, knocking him off balance. Somehow he recovers and wraps his strong arms around me, chuckling softly into my wild hair. I pull him closer, gripping onto the back of shirt, trying to get even closer than I am, though it doesn’t seem like enough.

“Hey, pixie, are you okay?” he asks, pulling his head back to look at me, his brow furrowed and his face a mask of concern.

“I just needed to feel you,” I say honestly. His returning smile sends my body into a state of peace. 

“I know what you mean. I always have the need to feel you.” He brings his head to my ear and whispers softly, “
Everywhere
.”

My newly tranquil body begins to heat from his hot breath on my ear and the confession that came out of his warm mouth. My heart rate picks up and my breathing begins to match the rhythm. The once brisk, cold air around us has changed into a humidity that has me wanting to disrobe right here, right now, and not giving two effs if the neighbors can see.

I shouldn’t be feeling like this, not right now, not after last night. But I can’t help it as I feel his breath move from my ear to my neck, just skimming the surface, never touching, just teasing.

              “
Jake
,” I breathe out.

              “Yes?” he whispers against my skin.

              “Please,” I say desperately.

              “Please what?” he asks, bringing his face back to mine, swiping his wet tongue over his smirking lips. My pussy clenches tightly as my eyes follow the movement.

              “Kiss me.” I beg, just before he lifts me up against his taught body. My legs instantly wrap around his waist as our eager mouths capture each other with a ferocity that I’ve never felt before. It’s reckless and inappropriate, but feels so damn right that I’m almost taken aback by the sheer power of how he makes me feel. Jake blindly walks us toward the door, never once stumbling, and keeps me tight in his arms as we make our way inside my house.

              Once we’re in, he kicks the door shut and flips us around, pressing my back against the door just as we’ve done before in my dreams and in reality. It doesn’t occur to me that I’m practically naked, only wearing a thin cotton robe and undies, until I hear him groan into my mouth as his hand slips through the opening, feeling my bare skin against his rough hand.

              “What are you doing to me, pixie?” he asks in wonder, meeting my eyes once again. His are so clear, reflecting exactly what he wants, what he longs for, what he loves—all me. I smile against his lips.

              “Exactly what you do to me.” I answer softly as I grind into him.

              “Fuck, baby, you can’t be doing that. Not if you want me to be a gentlemen.” He growls, clutching my ass through my robe, causing me to moan breathily against his lips that are currently sucking my bottom one. “And you
definitely
can’t make that noise. That noise is my undoing.” He admits after releasing my mouth.

              I sigh, resting my forehead against his. Our harmonized breathing is jagged and boisterous.

              “As much as I don’t want to, we should probably take a breather,” I say regrettably. His returning sigh is shaky, and makes me feel like an asshole for being such a damn tease. I’m about to say I’m sorry, but he cuts me off before I can.

              “Don’t you dare apologize, Evangeline,” he says sternly.

              “How’d you know I was going to?” I ask, completely surprised and caught off guard.

              “I could see it written all over your face. I don’t feel cheated or lead on, okay? Don’t ever think that. I’m just grateful I get to touch you at all. Thankful I get to feel this perfect, smooth caramel skin under my fingertips and against my body. And as much as I want to make love to you, want to fuck you, want to be inside this tight little body of yours, I can wait. I
will
wait, for as long as it takes, because I know in the end I will have you. I have no doubt, pixie. I can feel it. See it in your eyes. Hear it in the way your heart beats when we’re together. You may not be mine now, but you will be. I know it. And deep down, you do, too.”

              I’m completely speechless. Stunned. Flabbergasted at the words that just came pouring out of his mouth, with so much conviction that I have no choice but to believe him in that moment. He meant every single damn word. And his knowing smirk tells me that he knows my head is spinning right now.

Asshole
.

He kisses my mouth softly before gently releasing me, my body slowly sliding down his. “I’m going to get some coffee. Is that okay?” he asks, still smiling that cocky smile.

              All I can do is nod and watch him turn around and walk toward the kitchen, leaving me to my blaringly loud and perplexing thoughts. My body is still plastered to the door while I allow myself a moment to catch my breath and process what just happened.

              When I finally peel myself away, I find Jake sitting on the counter with a smug look still on his face. I can’t help but to let out a small laugh when he winks at me.

              “So, what are
we
doing today?” he asks, jumping off the countertop to retrieve his cup that just finished filling up in the Keurig.

              “Well, since the kids get out of school early,
I
was going to do a short yoga sesh before I do anything else. But now that you’re here, I think I might just skip it, unless you care to join me?”

              “
Mmmm
, that would be a hard pass. But I don’t mind watching you one damn bit!” he says with a raise of the eyebrows.

              “Of course you don’t, perv. Okay, well you sit here and enjoy your coffee while I run upstairs and change.”

              “You sure you don’t want to do it in that?” he asks, gesturing to my robe and panties, which are currently getting holes burned into them from the lusty fire in Jake’s eyes. I shake my head with a smile and turn on my heels to get dressed.

              Once I’m in my room, I quickly grab a sports bra, yoga pants, and a loose fitting Zeppelin shirt that I tie in a knot at the waist. I scamper to the bathroom to take a peek at my hair that I know is insane right now.

              “Shit.” I curse as I stare are the mirror. My hair is a mop of frizz and frazzled curls. Somehow I manage to gather it up in a high bun on top of my head. Not the sexiest style, but it will have to do. Grabbing my yoga mat, I practically stumble down the stairs to find the coffee table moved to the corner and Jake sitting on the recliner with his legs propped up and a bowl of popcorn in his lap.

              “Was that really necessary?” I ask, pointing my head in the direction of the popcorn. He shrugs and tosses a piece in his mouth.

              “I always have popcorn when I watch a show,” he smirks. And all I can do is shake my head in exasperation, smile, and roll out my mat.

              Fifteen minutes in, with Hozier playing on my phone in the background, I’m about to attempt to do an eight-angle pose when I look up and my eyes meet with Jake’s. He looks completely engrossed, quite impressed, and a whole lot turned on.

              “I’m getting a slight feeling of déjà vu with you sitting here, watching me.” I say with a smirk of my own.

              “Ah, yes, you must be referring to my stab at voyeurism. I just couldn’t help myself. Watching you that day was, without a doubt, one of the best days of my life. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Before that point I knew I wanted you in my bed, but it wasn’t until then that I realized I
needed
to have you.”

              I slowly rise from my advanced position and go into tree, never taking my eyes off him.

              “Is that all you want? My body? One night, or a few times, just rolling around in bed?” My heart is pounding with anxiety, waiting for his answer, not knowing what I truly want to hear. I just know that I need an answer.

              My eyes follow him as he sets the bowl of popcorn down onto the side table, closes the recliner, and slowly walks towards me. Once he’s in front of me, my head automatically goes down, looking at our feet. But he doesn’t let me look away for long as he nudges my chin up, bringing me face to face with those emerald eyes that are full of passion and intensity.

              “From that first day you barged into my house with that cake that was so damn good it should be illegal, yes, I have wanted your body.” I try to turn away, afraid of what he’s telling me, but he won’t let me, turning my head right back to where he wants it. “But at some point in between then and now, I began to not only want your body, but also your heart—your beautiful, cracked, yet huge, open heart. I want all of you, pixie. For as long as you’ll have me, I want all of you.”

              I’m so lost in his words that I don’t even realize I’m crying until I feel his index finger swipe a stray tear away from my cheek. I grab his hand as he goes to wipe another and bring it to my lips, softly kissing the finger that is still wet from my tears. The salty residue lingers on my mouth. He closes his eyes at my touch and inhales, as if he’s breathing me in. As if the feel of my lips gives him oxygen. As if he needs me to live.

As I slowly drop his hand from my mouth, his eyes open, and all I see is love reflecting in his gaze that I know mirrors my own. Reaching for his shirt, I pull him into me, so close that I can hear the thundering beat of his heart, and place my lips on his. Our pace is unhurried at first, our lips wanting to draw out the unknown time we have in this moment, remembering the way we move in perfect synchronicity and how our tongues caress one another with a gentle fervor.