Falling for Fitz (9 page)

They fell into an easy rhythm, turning
toward the gardens that led down a hill to the tennis courts, Fitz
walking beside her with his hands shoved into his pants
pockets.

“
I’m sorry,” he finally
said after they’d been walking in silence for a few minutes, “about
last night. I was hoping that Dr. M. would join us this evening so
I could apologize to him as well.”

“
He had to go back to
Portland.”

“
What?” asked Fitz, putting
a hand on her arm and stopping their walk. Was that a flicker of
hope in his eyes?

“
An emergency
surgery.”

“
But he’ll be back
soon?”

Daisy shook her head and started
walking again. When Fitz caught up with her, he walked closer to
her than he had before and his arm brushed with hers.

“
No. I’m…” She cleared her
throat nervously. “I’m afraid he won’t be back immediately. He has
several more appointments over the next few weeks that he feels
obligated to take care of.”

“
What are you saying? He’s
staying in Portland without you?”

“
Temporarily,” she said,
hoping lightning wouldn’t strike her dead for lying.

“
That doesn’t bother
you?”

His arm brushed into hers with every
step, and it felt so good she didn’t move away. She let it brush
into hers over and over again, pretending she didn’t notice. Did he
notice too? Did it affect him as much as it did her? Did he savor
the contact as she did?

“
Did you want to talk to me
about something?”

“
Well, I wanted to say I
was sorry to hitting your fiancé. That was
unacceptable.”

“
Agreed.”

“
But I did
not
like the way he
spoke to you.”

“
It’s none of your
business, Fitz,” she whispered, realizing that they’d changed
course at some point, crossing the back lawn so that they weren’t
headed toward the tennis courts anymore. They were headed toward
the pool. She inhaled raggedly, pulling her upper lip between her
teeth. She looked back at the house, knowing she should turn and
head up the hill to their waiting families, but the truth was, she
treasured these moments alone with Fitz. She didn’t want to go back
yet.

“
Are you happy?” he asked
quietly.

She swallowed. “Does it
matter?”

“
To me, it
does.”

Her heart caught, the old impulse to
look beyond the words to find meaning behind them making her
breathless for a moment.

“
Why?”

“
We’re almost at the pool,”
he observed offhandedly, his arm brushing hers again.

“
Why, Fitz? Why does it
matter to you if I’m happy?”

She didn’t know what she was doing.
She had no business opening this can of worms. She was supposed to
be engaged. But, maybe that’s what gave her the courage. From
outward appearances, she had no designs on him. It made her feel
safer.

At the split rail fence that
surrounded the pool, Fitz rested his elbows, looking at the dark
green plastic cover over the rectangular pool. Pool chairs were
neatly lined up in the corner of the deck waiting for sunny days to
arrive again. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and the deep,
honey light bounced off his hair, making it look like woven
gold.

“
Because I took happiness
away from you,” he said softly. “Because you trusted me and I let
you down. Because you deserve to be happy.”

He was trying to be kind, but his
words hurt her. She wanted him to say “Because I loved you then,
and I love you now, and the only way we can be happy is if we’re
together.” Sadly, his words had only voiced his regret and his
responsibility to her. But the burst of pain somehow made her feel
stronger and more determined. She looked down at the rough-hewn
rails—at her small, very white, fingers next to his tan arm that
was lightly sprinkled with coarse blond hair. Inside her chest, her
heart had so much love for him that it twisted with sadness, but
her mind was clear.

“
I’m happy enough,” she
answered curtly. “You don’t need to worry.”

He turned his head as she looked at
him, and it occurred to her that they were lined up perfectly to
kiss. All he’d need to do was drop his lips and they’d fall on
hers. She stared at his mouth for a long moment, remembering the
firmness and softness of his kiss, the way he moved his lips over
hers insistently, hungrily. When she looked back to his eyes, there
was almost no blue left except for thin rings of aqua around pools
of obsidian. Her chest heaved from the heaviness of her breathing,
and she dropped her gaze quickly to his lips then back to his eyes,
begging him to do something that they both knew he shouldn’t
do.

***

Her upturned face was so
sad when she said “happy enough” that he didn’t believe her and
despite her reassurance, he
was
worried. But he’d forgotten about
everything—their conversation, the bakery he needed to tell her
about, his apology, her happiness—when she’d trained her eyes on
his lips and lingered there. She stared at him like she was
remembering every time he’d pressed his mouth to hers, every time
his tongue had claimed hers, sucking and sliding over hers because
he could never, ever get enough of her. His body tightened next to
her, leaning against the fence, so close to the pool where she’d
given herself to him once upon a time.

Her scumbag fiancé had left
her in Philly alone and right now, right here, Daisy was with him.
Standing beside
him
, with her small, perfect breasts straining against her pink,
scoop neck shirt. Alex’s words came back to him:
Not everyone gets a second chance, Fitz. This is
yours
. She had her hair in a braid that
sat forward on her shoulder, and he reached out for it, staring at
the light crisscrosses of hair. Holding her eyes, his fist closed
around the braid, gently tugging so that she leaned closer. He’d
barely need to do more than drop his neck, and his mouth would fall
flush on hers.

She didn’t pull away, and her eyes,
wide and luminous, didn’t warn him to stop. His breathing was so
shallow he felt dizzy, the silkiness of her hair in his palm like a
talisman, possessing him, urging him forward, telling him to
reclaim what had always been his.

And he’d never wanted anything in his
life as much as he wanted to kiss Daisy Edwards in that moment, but
at the same time, he knew he shouldn’t. She was getting married and
Fitz had no right to take anything else away from her, and yet, and
yet, and yet… he closed his eyes, leaning closer to her, depleted
of the energy it would take to fight the all-consuming longing he’d
never lost for her.

“
Fitz…” she sighed in a
half-sob, her breath hot against his lips.

His hand still held her braid tightly,
and he panted, his breath mingling with hers, the space of a hair
left between them.

“
We can’t,” she whispered,
the sound tortured and throaty.

He froze, holding his breath, opening
his eyes to find hers closed tightly before him, her breasts still
heaving as she took one ragged breath after another. He unfurled
his hand and let her braid fall back, leaning away from her as he
swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat.

“
I’m sorry,” he
said.

“
Fitz,” she breathed,
opening her tear-brightened eyes as she crossed her arms over her
chest. She looked dizzy and uncertain, as though coming out of the
throes of a dream. “That summer was perfect—I mean, I was… no, I
think I
am
in—”

“—
gaged,” he finished. He
took a deep, gasping breath, turning away from her. “I know. That
summer was a long time ago and you’re engaged now. I don’t know
what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry.”

She whimpered softly beside him.
“That’s not what—”

“
No. There’s no excuse.” He
bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. “When I’m with you, all
common sense seems to fly out the window. I act foolish,
ridiculous.”

Her eyes flashed and her tone had a
bite to it. “It would be foolish and ridiculous to kiss
me?”

“
An engaged woman? Yeah.
Not to mention unethical, immoral, and just plain wrong. You’re not
available.” He winced as he said this, wishing like hell it wasn’t
the case. “It’s just hard to forget, you know? You’re right. That
summer was perfect.”

Her shoulders slumped, and she turned
back toward the pool. “Mostly.”

“
Completely.”

He felt her gaze on his face, staring,
searching. He deliberately kept his eyes trained on the pool
because if he looked at her, he wouldn’t have the willpower to stop
himself from kissing her.

“
We should get back,” she
finally said. “Your mother will wonder—”

“
Last night,” he blurted
out, “you mentioned something about wanting to start a
bakery.”

She scoffed lightly, cocking her head
to the side as she glanced at him. “Someday. Sure, I
guess.”

“
How about now?”

“
Right
now
?” She righted her head to stare at
him. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about getting
started.”

“
What if I said that the
groundwork was done? The loan was approved, the real estate was
secured, the contracts for incorporation had been filed, the
permits approved. Everything done. All you’d need to do is
customize the space and start baking.”

Her lips tilted up and she wetted
them, which was so goddamn distracting, he purposely dug his elbows
into the fence to ground himself.

“
What are you talking
about, Fitz?”

Her face was a mix of worry and
anticipation, and suddenly, he knew what he had to do. He took her
hand off the fence, lacing it through his and pulled toward the
garage.

“
Come on. I think it’s best
if I show you.”

Daisy had no idea where they were
going, but as soon as they got in Fitz’s car, he took out his phone
and called his mother.

“
Hello?” Eleanora’s smooth
voice carried over the Bluetooth speaker.

“
Mom? Don’t wait for us.
We’re headed into town.”

His car churned up gravel as he sped
away from the house.

“
Fitzpatrick William
English,” she said in her “mom” voice. “The table is already
set.”

“
I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll
explain later.”

After a moment of silence, a dial tone
sounded to indicate his mother had hung up. Daisy cringed, turning
to look at Fitz, who flicked her a quick, uneasy grin, driving down
the long driveway with determination.

Without looking away from the
windshield, he asked, “You trust me, Daze?”

Daisy looked askance at
him, raising an eyebrow. It had taken so much strength to stop him
when they almost kissed at the pool. A split second before his lips
had touched hers, she had reminded herself that this was a man who
felt he owed her, who was attracted to her, but who hadn’t loved
her, who hadn’t contacted her in nine years. And that thought had
given her the strength to stop him. Though she’d gotten so jacked
up in the moment, so turned around and emotional, she’d almost
blurted out that she’d been in love with him that summer and even
now, part of her still loved him. Thank God he stopped her. That
declaration would have added a whole new level of inappropriate to
the equation. Inappropriate? No, that was the wrong word.
Confusion
was far more
accurate.

Daisy was confused. And she was
starting to wonder if Fitz was feeling it, too.

For so long she’d convinced herself
Fitz’s feelings for her had extended to a summer fling, followed by
a sense of obligation over her pregnancy. That their chemistry was
just as potent as ever had surprised her last night, but now she
was genuinely starting to question his supposed indifference to
her. The past and the present were blurring wildly and, more and
more, she was excluding friendship from the list of possible
outcomes between them.

Punching Josh last night had been a
grand gesture, and now here they were, headed somewhere that had to
do with a bakery and Daisy suspected another grand gesture coming.
And grand gestures, from her limited experience, were born of love,
not obligation.

Then again, he’d been pretty clear at
the pool when he asked about her happiness that he still felt as
though he’d taken something away from her. He wanted to make that
up to her, which sounded less like love and more like
obligation.

She caught her reflection in the
window—her furrowed brows and pouty lips. Daisy didn’t like feeling
confused, but she couldn’t seem to figure out what was going on. If
she allowed herself to believe that he had feelings for her as both
Emily and Josh had implied, that would leave her heart in a
precarious position. She’d end up falling for Fitz. Again. And
probably getting hurt. Again.

He cleared his throat, taking her
silence as her answer to his question. “Okay. Fair enough. You
don’t have to trust me. But I promise you that what I lack in love
I make up for in business.”