Falling for Fitz (10 page)

It was such a silly, offhanded remark,
and yet Daisy couldn’t ever remember Fitz using the word “love” in
a romantic context at all. Hearing it took her breath away and made
tingles go down her back. Every second she spent with him started
to feel more and more like that summer, right down to him
impulsively taking her hand and driving her into town without an
explanation.

He didn’t look at her or say anything
else as he drove under the marble and wrought iron gates and turned
left onto Blueberry Lane. Leaning forward, he turned on the radio
and a sweet, old-timey ukulele rift came gently through the
speakers, making Daisy’s eyes close in pleasure for a moment as the
familiar, though long-forgotten, words surrounded them.

Sweet pea, apple of my
eye, don’t know when and I don’t know why… you’re the only reason I
keep on coming home.

“
This song.” She sighed,
opening her eyes as a dreamy smile spread across her
face.

“
This song,” he said
softly, nodding at its goodness.

“
It’s heaven,
right?”

“
You remember,
Daisy?”

“
I remember,” she
whispered, looking from the massive, beautiful grounds of Green
Farms out her window to his burnished blond head beside her. “If I
didn’t know you better, Fitz, I’d almost call this
romantic.”

“
Go ahead and call it
romantic,” he said softly. “I can’t hear this song without thinking
about you.”

Her heart leapt, but she warned
herself not to read into his words. Of course he thought of her;
they’d heard it together for the first time ten years ago at a dive
bar in Philly when Amos Lee still sang at open mic nights. Fitz was
referring to their past, not the present.

“
And you know?” he added,
in a thoughtful voice. “I think you know me better than most,
Daisy. Most people only see one side of me.”

“
The buttoned-up
side?”

He nodded, turning onto
Main Street, as Amos Lee sang on:
Sweet
pea, keeper of my soul, I know sometimes I’m outta control… you’re
the only reason I keep on coming home.

“
But I’m more than that
when I’m with you. The night we heard this song? You’d somehow
convinced me it was a good idea to borrow my Dad’s Lamborghini
without permission and go to a dive bar in the crappiest part of
Philly to hear an obscure singer.”

“
Tell me it wasn’t worth
it,” she teased, rolling her head to the side to look over at
him.

“
It was worth it.” He
glanced over and grinned, but his grin faded as he added, “It
was
all
worth it,
Daze.”

He stopped at the first of
three stop lights, took the hand closest to her off the steering
wheel and extended it to her, palm up. Her stomach flipped over as
she covered it with hers, palm-to-palm, forcing herself to look
away from mix of heat and regret in his eyes.
This is all part of reconciling the past
, she told herself weakly.
That’s
all it is.

“
Where are we
going?”

“
We’re almost there,” he
said, his fingers squeezing hers gently. “You said you wanted to
start a bakery last night. A brick and mortar place with cookies,
cupcakes, and great coffee.” He let go of her hand with a sigh.
“You could have it all up and running by the time Dr. M. gets back
to Philly.”

He pulled into a diagonal parking
space and turned to her. “We’re here.”

Daisy looked through the windshield at
the little brick, one-story, standalone building in front of them.
It had a white front door with large picture windows on either side
with empty window boxes for flowers built-in below. There was a
brick patio in front of the small building and a white picket fence
that separated it from the sidewalk. A sign over the door, hanging
off one hinge, read “The Toy Chest.”

In her dreams, when Daisy imagined
starting a little bakery of her own, it looked exactly like this
little place. It was perfect. It was so perfect tears sprang into
her eyes as she smiled at the charming building.

Fitz had gotten out of the car and
opened her door, offering her his hand. She took it as she stepped
outside.

“
Fitz,” she gasped. “It’s…
it’s just…”

She looked up at him beaming at her,
his face pleased and proud as he pulled her through the white
picket gate that led to the empty shop. When they got to the front
door, he let go of her hand and produced a key from his pocket. He
unlocked the door, pushing it open as a little bell rang cheerfully
overhead.

He held the door for her so she could
enter first, and she walked into the dim space, lit only by the
waning sunlight outside. It hadn’t been clean-swept so dust
bunnies, packing Styrofoam, and some rolled up newspaper littered
the dull, scraped, hardwood floor. It was a clean rectangle of a
room, though, with exposed brick to the left and right, and three
doorways straight ahead.

She approached them, exploring each.
The first was a good-sized closet, almost a store room. The second
led to the back of the shop where there were two small rooms
flanking a back door, and the third was a tiny bathroom. She ran
her hands along the aqua painted walls that separated the three
doorways, finally spinning to take in the whole space.

“
You did this for
me?”

Fitz, who still stood leaning against
the doorway watching her, hadn’t said a word yet. Now he cocked his
head to the side and said softly in a low voice, “I told you last
night… I’d do anything for you.”

Daisy’s face exploded into a smile,
and she sprinted across the room to him, throwing her arms around
his neck and letting him gather her against his chest.

***

In his wildest dreams, Fitz hadn’t
expected this.

He had hoped she wouldn’t be angry
with him. He had hoped she’d actually like the space he and
Stratton had chosen without her input. He had even been prepared to
cajole her a little—convince her that with his help she could do
this. But the one thing he never expected was to be holding her in
his arms, feeling the warmth and curves of her body pressed up
against him again.

When she embraced him, she hadn’t
turned her face away from his, but, more intimately, into him. Her
cheek lay against his chest, right under his collarbone, and he
could feel the heat of her breath on his skin through the open V of
his shirt. He tightened his arms around her, bending his neck just
a little, until his cheek brushed her forehead, and his lips rested
right near the bridge of her nose. If he moved just the slightest
bit closer to her, he’d be nuzzling his lips to her skin, but he
stayed as still as possible, desperate not to break the profound
closeness he felt while holding her.

His heart pounded, and he wondered if
she could feel the vibrations through his shirt, if she could feel
the rhythm that was beating out his feelings for her. Her fingers,
laced around his neck, were still except for one of her thumbs
which grazed the short hair on his nape distractedly, making
shivers run from his neck to his groin. He softly groaned as he
felt himself react to having her so close to him, his body aching
for more after missing hers for so many years.

If he had doubted—even for
a second—that his feelings for her had ever weakened, he was
assured now, as they roared back to full strength, full vibrancy,
full visceral life, that they never would again. Fitz was as deeply
in love with Daisy right now as he’d been when she was seventeen.
And just like then, she wasn’t available to him. Only this
time
he
wasn’t
going to London,
she
was engaged to someone else.

Alex’s voice whispered in
his head,
She’s not married
yet
, and Fitz panted lightly, not giving
himself a chance to reconsider what he was about to say, just
letting the words fall out of his mouth, no matter what the
consequences.

“
I’m throwing my hat in the
ring,” he whispered.

“
Mmm?” she murmured, the
sound reverberating from his chest to his throat where it kicked
his pulse up a notch.

“
You haven’t gotten married
yet.”

“
No.”

“
I’m throwing my hat in the
ring,” he repeated, a little firmer, a little louder.

“
Wait.
What
? What did you say?” She jerked
back from him, but he kept his arms around her, so all she could do
was flatten her palms against his chest and lean back on his arms.
Her eyes were wide and wild as she searched his, and it was all he
could do not to lean forward and kiss her like the world was
ending.

“
I don’t want you to marry
Dr. M..” He wet his lips, his heart beating impossibly faster. “I
want you to marry me.”

“
You’re out of your mind,”
she answered and her face, which had been shocked a moment before,
seemed to harden before his eyes. “We haven’t seen each other in
over nine years.”

“
It doesn’t matter. He’s
not right for you and you know it. The way he talks to you? The way
he just left you here? You don’t light up around him, Daisy. I
don’t know why you’re settling for him, but I—”

“
You and I have enough
baggage to fill fifty airport carousels.”

“
So let’s start
unpacking.”

“
You
cannot
ask me to marry you again,”
she panicked, her eyes stricken.

“
I can. I just
did.”

“
Fitz… This doesn’t make
any sense.”

“
It does to me. It made
sense the second my eyes slammed into yours last night.”

“
We barely know each other
anymore.”

“
That’s not true at
all.”

“
Stop. You don’t need to do
this.”

Amazingly, she wasn’t struggling to
get out of his arms, as though she might actually be considering
his outlandish suggestion, or maybe she was just too surprised by
his words to do actually motivate enough to pull away from
him.

“
You’re wrong. I
do
need to.”

“
No, you don’t! God, you
don’t
owe
me
anything, Fitz!” she yelled at him and pushed hard against his
chest. “You don’t have to buy me bakeries and save me from bad
marriages!”

She was so furious, he loosened his
grip on her, stepping back, letting her go.

She put her hands on her hips, tossing
her braid over her shoulder, her face screwed up with anger. “I
forgive you, okay? Here and now, I officially forgive you for
everything that happened, for getting me pregnant, for never coming
to—You don’t owe me anything. You don’t need to do these things to
make up for…You don’t—Just. Damn it, Fitz.”

Part of what she was saying
broadsided him as he heard the truth in her words. For most of his
adult life, yes, he’d carried around the weight, the burden, of
letting her down. Doing something for her—
anything
—to make her happy would
ease his guilt over taking so much away from her.

But that part of him was
tiny compared to the feelings he had for her—feelings he had
always
had for her. Is
that all she thought there was between them? Obligation? Guilt? Did
she really believe he only wanted to be with her to make up for her
pregnancy and miscarriage? Jesus, could she really not know how he
felt about her? Could Alex have been right?

He searched her eyes
desperately, but was disappointed by what he found there. Her eyes
had filled with tears, and her cheeks were red as she tried not to
cry.
Oh my God,
he thought,
She did. She really
believed what she was saying was the truth.
The realization crushed him, made him feel sick and
frustrated. A lot of emotions were fighting for space on her face,
but they all added up to one devastating reality: She had no idea
how he really felt about her.

“
Just stop,” she whimpered
brokenly, turning on her heel to leave, but he had to say
something. Saying that he loved her wouldn’t ring true right this
minute, so he held that back. But, he had to let her know he wasn’t
giving up.

“
Daisy!”

She pivoted to look at him. He
clenched his jaw, unsmiling.

“
This is our second chance.
You and me. Right now.” He paused, rubbing his jaw. “Fair warning
that you can pass along to your
fiancé
: While he’s gone, I’m going
to do whatever I have to do to make you fall for me, Daisy.
Whatever it takes.”

With that promise lying like a
challenge between them, she turned and rushed out of the bakery,
leaving him standing alone, body humming, mind reeling, a casualty
of Hurricane Daisy.

***

Fitz English had just proposed to
Daisy Edwards for the third time in her life, and for the third
time he’d made that proposal without the merest mention of his
feelings for her, without a word about his heart, or love, or
affection. She knew he didn’t like the idea of her marrying Dr.
M.—his fist connecting with Josh’s nose last night had made that
reality salient.