Falling for Finn (17 page)

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Authors: Jackie Ashenden

BOOK: Falling for Finn
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He moved, so fast she had no time to move or get away, and then he was right in front of her, one hand on the wood of the bar, the other gripping her chin, forcing her head back to meet his dark, burning gaze.

“You wouldn’t even look at me, Anna.” A raw sound in his voice. “I’m not even worth one fucking look to you?”

She couldn’t seem to breathe. The edge of the breakfast bar dug into her as she pressed back against it, wanting to get away from all his heat, his anger. The accusation in his eyes, and deeper than that, the hurt.

Confrontation. God, how she hated it.

“Of course you are,” she said hoarsely.

“Then what the hell were you doing back there? It’s like you were shutting me out.” More anger in his gaze. “Or were you imagining I was someone else?”

“No!” She took a ragged breath. “I would never do that to you.”

“Then what was it?”

“I was afraid.”

His gaze changed, sharpened. “Of me?”

“Yes.”

Shock edged the anger in his face. “Why? What the hell did I do?”

And from somewhere, the total and unvarnished truth came spilling out of her. “You touched me. You looked at me. Made me feel—” She stopped dead, realizing what she was saying.

The fingers on her chin tightened. “Made you feel what?”

A shiver went through her. Held motionless by his hand, by his body pressing against hers, she had no way to escape. No way to get away from him. Away from the dark eyes that seemed to see into her, all the way through to the small, frightened creature she was inside. The creature terrified of what she felt for him. Terrified of the hungry, desperate need she’d been telling herself she didn’t feel for so very long.

“Too much, Finn,” she gasped out. “You make me feel too much.”

He didn’t move. Didn’t take his eyes from hers. “That’s what you’re afraid of?”

“Yes, of course I’m bloody afraid of it! I don’t want this. I never wanted this.”

“Why not?” The question was all raw demand. “What’s wrong with it?”

She struggled to get some air into her lungs. Struggled against his nearness, against the need opening up inside her, wanting him so very badly. Struggled to find the words to explain something that was almost beyond words. “I told you. It’s too intense. I hate feeling this way and I hate arguing with you. It’s like my parents all over again.”

His dark brows drew down. “This isn’t anything like that.”

Of course, he wouldn’t understand. He hadn’t seen her mother shrieking and throwing plates. Hadn’t seen her father yelling horrible, cutting things in return. They’d never come to blows but that hadn’t made it any easier. If that was passion, if that was love, she didn’t want it. Not any of it.

“I can’t explain it. But you just don’t get it—”

“I get it. I get you’re afraid. But this is nothing like your parents. And there’s nothing to be afraid of. Nothing.” The hand on the bar moved, slipping under her T-shirt to rest on the bare skin of her thigh. She shivered, unable to help it as the hand slid higher to cup her butt.

“Don’t,” she murmured, pushing one hand against his bare chest. But there was no force to the word. His hand on her skin felt so unbelievably good. So right.

“Let me show you, beautiful,” he whispered. “Feel it with me.”

She wanted to say no, pull herself from his arms, but then his head bent and his mouth pressed to her jaw, her throat, nuzzling against her skin. The hand cupping her butt shifted a little, his fingers sliding down and inwards, brushing against the soft, wet folds of her sex.

Anna gave a soft, strangled cry, shards of pleasure shattering through her, piercing her. Helplessly, she found herself arching away from his searching fingers, only to find no escape, the hard press of his erection against her stomach, his body a wall in front of her.

And then the hot lick of his tongue in the hollow of her throat, his teeth nipping gently at the sensitive place between shoulder and neck.

No. She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t have this. Something inside her was on the verge of breaking apart and it scared her to death.

“Finn,” she murmured, a broken sound. “Finn, please.”

“No.” The heat of his breath shimmered over her skin. “I won’t let you run, Anna. Not this time.”

Abruptly, his arms were around her and he picked her up, carrying her into the lounge. She didn’t fight him and she couldn’t think why not. Because she didn’t want this. And yet her body hummed with anticipation, with excitement. Trembled with need. Wanting something from him. Desperate for him.

Finn set her down in front of the old red velvet armchair, and without warning pulled the T-shirt she wore up and over her head, baring her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice cracked, shivering.

His hands came to rest on her hips, then gave her a gentle push, making her sit down in the armchair. “I have a fantasy.” He uncurled one hand and she realized he’d been carrying something in it. More than one something. Condom packets. Finn dropped them on the floor and then, to her shock, he went to his knees in front of her. “It concerns you.”

She should be getting up and leaving. Should be running as far and as fast as she could. And yet somehow she wasn’t. All she could see was the hungry, intent look on his beautiful face. Finn-the-stranger.

No. He’s not a stranger now and you know it.

And she did. Somehow this look, this intensity was becoming familiar to her as much as his smile and his friendship had been.

Her breath came in a soft gasp. “A fantasy?”

“Yes.” His hands rested on her knees, gentle. “I’ve fantasized about you for years. And this one is my favorite.”

She couldn’t take her eyes off him. “What one?”

His eyes were the color of the black heart of midnight, the light from the lamp next to them tipping his lashes gold. Picking up the gilt in his hair. “You, naked in this chair, with your legs spread over the arms. And me, licking you. Tasting you until you scream.”

Anna tried to get a breath. Couldn’t. The blunt eroticism of the words, said in that rough, velvet voice of his, made her tremble. “And that’s it?”

“No.” His gaze just about burned her alive. “After I’ve made you come once, I get up and kneel with you in the chair, and fuck you till you come again. And again. Until we’re both exhausted and sweaty and panting.” His hands on her knees felt like brands. “Until you tell me you love me.”

The breath went out of her. “Finn—”

His hands exerted pressure, beginning to push her knees apart. “I’m going to make you feel this, Anna. Make you feel what I feel. Make you understand that you can’t ignore it. Can’t pretend it’s not there. Can’t run away from it. Not ever again.”

She began to tremble, fear and desire knotted up inside her so tightly she didn’t think she’d ever be able to untangle it. Sitting forward, she grasped his wrists, holding on. “I’m scared.”

He went still, looking into her eyes. “I know. You remember the safe word?”

“Yes.” Her mouth was so dry she could barely get the word out.

“Use it if you have to.”

Then he pushed her thighs wide apart.

A gasp went out of her. And another as he lifted her legs to hook them over the arms of the chair, spreading her out for him.

The safe word hovered in her head. Right there. She knew it. Knew if she said it, he’d stop. But part of her didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to give in. Part of her wanted to challenge the fear, face it down. And part of her wanted to challenge him. Wanted to show him she could handle whatever he threw at her. Show him that whatever he felt, she
didn’t.
That she could withstand it.

So she swallowed down the word. Met that hungry gaze. And the small part of her that had always met the challenges he’d set made her put her arms up over her head, so her body arched. Daring him to do his worst.

Something in his eyes flared. An answer to the challenge, of course. But that was Finn. He never let a challenge go unmet.

Anna swallowed as he moved forward, the light falling over the smooth, tawny skin of his powerful body, and she wondered if perhaps she’d miscalculated.

And then he put his hands on her thighs, spreading the folds of her sex with his thumbs, spreading her gently, delicately. Opening her up like a flower. And she realized that she hadn’t just miscalculated, she’d made the biggest mistake of her life.

Because yes, this was Finn. And if there was one thing he was good at, it was pushing fear to its limit. Pushing her to her limits. Then past them.

Anna began to shake. “Finn,” she murmured hoarsely.

His head bent and she felt his tongue like the lick of fire on her tender, vulnerable flesh. And all thought abruptly ceased.

 

Finn nearly shook with desire. He’d wanted to make sure she was okay with this, but the look she’d given him when he’d mentioned the safe word—pure challenge. Because fear had never been at the heart of her. Oh, she thought she liked safe. Thought she didn’t like risk. But Anna had more steel than that. He knew. He’d always known.

And now all he could think about was meeting the challenge she’d thrown at him. Meeting it with everything in him. Proving to her once and for all she couldn’t deny what had happened between them. Couldn’t run from this no matter how much she wanted to.

Her thighs trembled as he licked her, a soft cry echoing around him. She tasted so good, hot and sweet, salty and spicy all once. Better than any fantasy he’d ever had. He spread her wider, tasted deeper and she cried out again. His name in a ragged, husky voice.

He paused, looked up, wanting to see her. Wanting to know she was right with him.

Her face glowed, a fine sheen of perspiration in the heat of the apartment beading her skin. Brown hair stuck to her forehead, her cheeks, in little spirals and arabesques. Her body arched back against the red velvet of the chair. White skin flushed, the shine of sweat at her throat, between the small, perfect curves of her breasts, the trembling plane of her stomach.

His heart lurched inside his chest. So beautiful. He hadn’t been lying to her about the fantasy. Late at night, wired and restless, he’d think about her like this. Oh, he knew it had been wrong to create a fetish out of his best friend, but he hadn’t cared. He’d just wanted. Ached for something he could never have outside the confines of his head.

And yet, now, here she was. Exactly as he’d imagined.

And it was so much better. So very much more than he’d ever thought possible.

He bent his head again, half not wanting to so he could watch her, half desperate to taste her again, make her scream.

She cried out as he licked again, circling his tongue around her clit, over and over, before delving lower, into the soft, wet heat of her. Her hips jerked and he tightened his grip on her, holding her still.

“Finn…oh, God, Finn…”

He loved the desperation in her voice, loved the way she trembled and shook. Loved the taste of her, the scent of her desire all around him. Loved everything about it.

Loved her. Loved her so much he couldn’t bear the thought she didn’t feel this too.

Her hand in his hair, clutching on tight. Holding on for dear life.

No, she felt it. She did. She just had to see it. Accept it.

He licked her again, then eased a finger inside her, feeling her body tighten, hearing her moan.

“What are you doing? Oh…God…”

Another finger joined the first and she gasped again, a ragged sound.

He wanted to watch her come, watch her shatter as she had on the couch that afternoon. And yet he wanted to taste her orgasm on his tongue, feel the shudders of her body as she came.

He bent his head, deciding. Gripping her thighs, he tasted her again, licking, exploring, taking his time until she sobbed and cried his name, her body trembling. Then, after he’d wrung the last sounds from her, he lifted his head and slowly rose over her.

She lay back against the chair, her breathing wild, her eyes closed, black lashes lying still on her cheeks. Gorgeous, sensual Anna. Christ, he wanted her so badly.

As he knelt on the seat, his knees beneath her spread thighs, she opened her eyes. Intense green engulfed him. The color of deep oceans, forests in shadow.

“You felt that,” he told her, daring her to deny it.

Her breasts rose, fell. Lovely. Perfect. He put one hand on the back of the chair, bending over her to touch his tongue to her throat, tasting the salty sweetness of her skin.

“Finn…” His name a broken breath.

He moved lower, to her breasts, taking one hard nipple into his mouth, suckling. She shivered, giving a small moan. “Don’t. Please.”

Lifting his mouth, he looked down into her eyes. “Safe word, Green Eyes. Tell me and I’ll stop.”

A slow blink. “Bastard.”

“Yeah. I know.” He leaned down, grabbed one of the condoms he’d brought from the bedroom.

“I can’t do this,” Anna said.

“You can.” He ripped open the packet, protected them both. “You can do more than you think you can.”

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