Fallen Desire (8 page)

“Yeah, I know, I’m amazing.  Now let’s get out of here before it gets any later. You’re going to have some fun tonight Lindsay!”

***

Ethan

I can’t bear it anymore.  I’ll go and see her tonight.  I know I’ll be able to sense where she is, and I can’t go on any longer without talking to her.  I have to let her know how I feel, especially after I took off the other night.  I can feel her soul and it’s been disrupted, because of me.  I have to set it right.  I’m not being fair to her by just leaving her hanging like this.  Tonight is the night that I’ll find her and talk to her.  I can’t tell her who I am yet, but I have to let her know I care about her.  I need her to trust me and feel safe with me so that I can tell her the truth and why this is so difficult for me.  I can’t hide out in this empty house any longer.  I need to see her and touch her smooth skin and run my fingers through her long brown hair.  I have to look into those brown oval eyes and tell her I love her.

SIX

We take Kim’s car out since I don’t own a vehicle.  I seem to be the only one my age
who doesn’t and not just that but it seems that all of the people that I know that have a car have really nice ones.  Kim has a black two-door Lexus that has cream leather seats with that new car smell and every amenity a vehicle could have.  I don’t ask her, but I would have to assume that her parents bought her the car.  My dad is a big-time lawyer, and he won’t even get me a piece of junk vehicle.  He says I have to earn it myself and that things aren’t just given to you.  My mom always spoils me as far as shopping goes, but for the more expensive things my dad always has to step in and say that I have to find a way to get it myself.  I haven’t been to a club before, even back in my hometown.  Kim, of all people, would know the best clubs to go to.  She isn’t a party girl, but she knows how to have fun.  We pull up to the club, and from outside it isn’t a whole lot to look at.  Groups of people standing around smoking and others are waiting in line to get in along with the packed cars fill the parking lot.  Kim walks us right up to the front door, and the bouncer lets us right in after giving Kim a gentlemen hug.  It’s obvious he knows her.  As we walk into the club people right and left walk up to Kim to greet her either with a hand shake or a hug.  She seems to know just about everyone.  She stands tall and lean in her heels appearing so mature and worldly.  She pulls me by my wrist directing me to a small table.  I’m pretty sure we aren’t supposed to be in this section but no one seems to notice or care. 

“Anything to drink, Lindsay?
  You seem surprised, is everything okay?” 

“Um, yeah.
  I mean, are we supposed to be over here?  I don’t think they will serve us alcohol.” 

“My parents are friends of the people that own this club, so I come here a lot.  My parents don’t seem to care if I do and the owners are extremely nice and generous.  I don’t have to pay a cover and I’m able to drink anything I want.  And, it is actually a 21 and older club.  So, technically everyone in here is
older than us and we really aren’t allowed in but I get special treatment.  So do you want anything to drink?” 

She’s so sure of herself when she speaks and she acts as if it is no big deal.  I don’t really have much of a choice but to follow along since she’s the only one I know out here and it is her vehicle that is getting me home.  “Wow, that’s awesome, Kim.  Just get me a Coke with no ice please.” 

She tells our order to the waiter standing at the corner of our table, “Two Cokes and hold the ice.”  I didn’t even see him standing there behind my shoulder.  He’s tall and skinny with a pale blonde buzz cut. 

“Okay Kim.  Be back with those Cokes in just a few.”  He walks away toward the bar hollering to the lady behind the counter to get our drinks. 

“Wow you really do know everyone here, huh?”

“I told you I come here all the time.  I love getting out into the night life and just dancing my ass off and having fun.  I’m glad that you came with me tonight.”  Kim has to pretty much yell into my ear for me to hear her over the loud music. 

The room is dark, but there are colored strobe lights flashing on the dance floor that look really cool and sort of mesmerizing but at the same time make me a little queasy.  The dance floor is covered with all different types of people showing off their own style of dance moves.  Looking around the club, it seems packed.  We’re in the area where all the tables and the bar is located, and the rest of the club is pretty much a dance floor and some chairs along the walls for people to sit down.  Up in the front the DJ is up on a small stage.  The whole set-up of the place seems extremely simple, and the appearance of the room gives you the feeling that you can come and just let loose and dance. 

As the waiter comes with our drinks I yell into Kim’s ear that I’m happy she dragged me out here.  I really am glad to be out of the house, and with the club being so loud and packed, I can’t even think about Ethan or Derrick.  I’m going to take advantage of being out here with Kim tonight and just enjoy myself. 

“Take a sip of your Coke and then let’s get our butts out of these chairs and on the dance floor.”  Kim stands up reaching her hand out for me, and I take a quick drink of my Coke. Grabbing my hand, she leads me out to the dance floor, and we start dancing.  With my eyes closed, I just let my body move to the music as Kim dances in front of me.  I let my mind go clear and let my body take over.  Dancing to the beat and letting my body move freely feels so good.  Kim was right about me being able to forget my problems and just feel good in the moment.  I tilt my head back taking in the room, and before I know it I’m flat on my ass.  I look up and a tall large girl with short hair wearing a skimpy dress is standing over me yelling at me to watch were I’m going.  I have no clue what she’s talking about or why she pushed me down.  I wasn’t moving around the dance floor, just sticking to my spot in front of Kim.  Kim pushes passed the scary girl and kneels down to help me up as the girl steps behind Kim and gives her a push with her shoe.  Kim falls right on top of me.  Looking surprised and shocked as ever, I’m really unsure of what’s going on.  The girl is standing over us laughing hysterically. 

“Alright that’s it!  I’ve had enough and there is no way I’m taking this bullshit.”  Kim jumps up to her feet and stands to face the girl that shoved both of us down.  I want to yell to
Kim to not do anything too crazy as the girl looks pretty frightening and towers over Kim.  Before I can even get to my feet Kim lands a right hook straight to the girls face and knocks the girl five feet back onto her ass.  Now Kim is the one laughing.  The girl doesn’t even have time to get up.  Kim grabs me by my arm and lifts me to my feet then pushes me toward the door to leave.  The look on my face can’t possibly describe how shocked I am. 

I’m stunned into silence by what just took place
.  How can a skinny pretty girl that looks like she doesn’t have an ounce of muscle hit a girl that is three times her size down to the ground with one blow?  I don’t even realize we’re outside until I feel a small chill on my shoulders.  I just keep replaying what just happened in my head trying to make sense of it.  “What the hell happened back there, Kim?”  She still has a grip on my arm and is pulling me toward her car.

“Oh, it was nothing. 
Just been taking some boxing classes the past couple of years and I guess they have really paid off.  Hell if I’m going to let anyone bully my friend around, let alone kick me like that,” she says sticking her chin out. 

“Those must be some boxing lessons because I think you turned into the Incredible Hulk back there.  That girl was almost three times your size.  Guess I’m lucky to have you on my side.”  We get to her car and climb in.  “So are we cutting the night short and heading home then?  I would have to guess that we don’t want to go back in there.” 

She looks at me mockingly, “Of course we aren’t going home.  We got all dressed up to have some fun and that is exactly what we’re going to do.  We aren’t going to let some bully ruin our night.  I know plenty of clubs here in town.  I’m going to take you to my next favorite place to hang out.”  She starts the engine and speeds off down the road.  The other club isn’t more than a few minutes away, and before I know it we’re pulling into the parking lot of another night club.  We weren’t at the other club long so it’s still early, but I’m beginning to wonder how long Kim plans on keeping me out.  We walk straight into the club just as we did at the other one, no waiting in line.  Walking into the club it almost looks identical to the one we just left except it has two floors.  Everyone here also seems to know Kim.  When we walk in the door there’s the bar and some tables off to the side and then a huge dance floor in the center of the room.  There are stairs that lead up to a second bar and dance floor.  This place is also packed with people dancing and just hanging out. 

Instead of finding a table, this time Kim just takes me straight to the dance floor.  “Come on, Lindsay!” She’s screaming over the loud crowd and the loud music. “We’re not going to waste time.  Let’s dance and have some fun.”  We walk straight to the center of the dance floor that is on the bottom story and start dancing to the music.  I try to forget about what happened at the other place and get back into my trance on the dance floor.  I’m definitely happy she isn’t giving up on our night.  Even though the room is shoulder to shoulder with people on the dance floor, I still am able to clear my mind and just let the music take over.  Time goes by really fast as we dance to song after song, and I notice I’m beginning to get tired, and with it being so crowded I’m hot and sweaty. 

“I’m going to take a break and go get something to drink – you want to come?”  Kim shouts into my ear, and it was still hard to hear her. 

I’m thirsty, but I don’t want to stop dancing afraid that if I do I’m going to realize just how tired I actually am.  “No thanks.  I’m going to stay here.  Hurry and come back.”  I don’t want to start thinking about all the things that are bothering me right now either. 

“Okay.  I’ll be quick.”  Kim dances off the stage and then disappears into the crowd by the bar.  I just continue dancing and close my eyes and listen to the music. 

“Lindsay!” someone shouts in my ear and places their hand on my bare shoulder. 

I look behind me, and there he is.  Oh, how I’ve been waiting for him!   His hands graze my bare shoulders, stopping me from dancing and the desire begins to ball up in my gut.  He’s stunning.  “Ethan – how did you find me?”  I’m shocked and utterly excited to see him at the same time.  He’s here, hands on me, here for me! 

“Can we go somewhere quiet to talk?”  He gently grabs my hand and guides me out the front door into the parking lot. 

“Of course!” It had gotten much cooler outside.  He doesn’t say anything, just walks me to his car.

“If you want, I can turn on the heater, and we can sit in here to talk?” he says.  His deep eyes look at me with passion and sorrow.  I can see that he’s hurting. 

I want so much to rid him of his pain, to be able to tell him he’s perfect and should not be so sad. “That sounds good. It’s cold out here.”  Ethan opens the front passenger door for me, and I bend down to get in.  He shuts it behind me and then walks around the front of the car to the driver side.  Watching him walk to the other side of the car, I noticed how graceful he is and doesn’t seem awkward in the slightest.  Perfection!  He gets into the driver side of the car and then turns it on in order to start the heater. 

“I’ve been meaning to come and talk to you the past couple of days Lindsay.”  He turns to face me and holds my hands in his.  “By the way you look stunning in this dress.”  He smiles and looks me up
and down.  “I have to apologize for taking off the other night.  I don’t really know why but I just didn’t want to hurt you.  I know that probably doesn’t make sense right now, but it’s the truth.” 

I smile shyly, “Ethan,
its okay.  I just wasn’t sure if I did something wrong to make you take off like that.  I’ve been thinking about you and that night non-stop, I’m not even sure why.  All I know is that I care about you, a lot and I don’t even know you.  All the basic things that two people should know about each other, we don’t but I can’t help my feelings toward you, Ethan.  I need to know if I did something wrong, please tell me.”

“No, Lindsay, it’s nothing you did.  You could never do anything that would make me want to leave you.  All I want is to be with you; I’m just not sure how.  I’m going through some things right now and I have to get them figured out, so I may not be around as much as I would like to be.  It has nothing to do with anything you’ve done or could ever do; it is just some personal issues that I have to get figured out.  I care about you more than I’ve ever cared for someone before, and that scares me because I don’t know why I feel like this.”  I can see how nervous he is through his expression.

“I don’t know much about you either Lindsay, so I think we can start out with learning something’s about one another, and maybe that will help this whole situation feel even more right.”  He looks deep into my eyes with confidence and love.  I want nothing more than to pull myself into him and never let go.  He’s extraordinarily beautiful and the desire burning inside me in this moment is undeniable.