Fallen Desire (35 page)

I collapse to my knees placing both hands on each leg with palms facing up.  The feeling of drifting through the air begins to overwhelm me and I can see myself down below sitting on the cold ground with eyes closed – and I realize I’ve separated from my solid form.  With one destination in mind, I begin to move quickly through the trees toward the one thing that belongs to me.  I can feel it calling me, guiding my spirit to it. 

All of a sudden, I end up back in the middle of the forest looking down at my body.  I glance around not sure what’s happening but I can definitely feel the book near.  Ethan is standing in front of my body with his back facing me almost shielding me from something heading my direction.  His dark black wings come unfolded, sheltering my entire body behind them. 
Derrick!
  No wonder I feel the book close by; he must have it with him, what in the heck is he doing here and why is Ethan guarding my body as if Derrick is here to harm me? 

“What are you doing, Ethan?”  Derrick says.  “You know that this is dangerous.  I knew right away it was you but didn’t really think you would use her to get the book.  It is so careless!  What if she can’t pull herself back together?  She could be stuck in the spirit form forever!”  I can see Ethan’s face look even angrier with each word that comes out of Derrick’s mouth.  What does he mean stuck in spirit form forever?  Of course I can pull myself together!  I think I can.  At least I did last time. 

“How can you say that Derrick?” Ethan responds.  “You of all people know I would never harm her.  You shouldn’t be disappointed in me but in yourself for keeping what belongs to her.  You know that she needs that book to live out her destiny of the redeemer and I’m sure you didn’t have any plans of teaching her the spell she needs to save us from evil.” 

As I’m watching from above, I see my body still motionless with no response to the yelling going on around me.  I can see and hear everything but can’t intervene; they don’t even notice me here.  Not wanting their fighting to get any worse, I close my eyes and concentrate on connecting back with my body that’s sitting there waiting for me.  No matter what I do, though, I can’t seem to get back to my solid form.  It may be the stressful situation that’s going on below.  I stop and listen tentatively to them as that seems to be the only thing I’m able to do at this point.  I can sense that Derrick has the book, but there’s no way he’s going to let my spirit close to it.

“I am not going to stand around anymore, while you use her powers for your own personal gain.  You may think that you chose
good
all those years ago but your soul is leaning toward evil.  You have been tainted by hate.  For you to want to destroy me and the others out there that are demons and that have so much potential to be good but just need the right person to see it, is an evil act on your part.  Lindsay’s spirit was brought to us for a reason and it’s not to destroy but to help.”  Ethan’s voice begins to get a rough dry tone to it as if he’s disgusted with Derrick and his actions. 

Derrick’s body language instantly becomes defensive.  “I’ve done nothing but help Lindsay and teach her how to use her abilities to destroy and create.  Demons aren’t meant to be here and I do not feel that there is room for forgiveness for you after what you have done to humans – no matter how much you may think you deserve it.  You chose your path along time ago, and you will be destroyed because of it.  I love Lindsay and eventually she would have seen it my way if you had just stayed away from her.  Now it’s too late.  If I’m going to continue down the path that was set in front of me, I‘ll have to get rid of you.  Lindsay will be a part of my path regardless of what you think or say.  I can see that you haven’t fed for a while and you are way too weak to defend yourself against me.  Give up now, Ethan.” 

Ethan’s body shifts into a protective stance, ready to fight but he’s still guarding my body, covering me with his enormous silky black wings.  “I am never too weak to defeat you, Derrick!  I won’t allow you to consume her with your evil plan!  You cannot destroy me, you are but an angel and only the redeemer has that power.” 

An ominous smile spreads across Derrick’s face.   “Please!  I don’t need to completely destroy you.  I only need to make you weak enough that I can cage you so far away you’ll never see Lindsay again.  You’ll never have the strength to break out or even move without being able to feed.  Don’t underestimate me.  Seems like we’re both willing to do whatever we need to do to have her.”

“That’s the difference between you and me, Derrick.  I’m not doing anything to
have
Lindsay.  What I do is because I love her, and I want her to have free will.  I would never force her to choose my side or force her to be with me and I will definitely not allow you to.  I’ll use every ounce of my strength to protect her.” 

At this point, both Ethan and Derrick are standing in positions that make them look like they’re getting ready to charge each other head on.  Both of their faces are filled with anger and the determination to fight for what they feel is right.  I can’t let this happen.  I realize how much both of them care about me.  They just have different opinions about what the right thing to do is.  I don’t think that makes
either one of them wrong and I care too much for them to allow them to hurt each other.  I’m helpless though, unable to get to them.  A fourth body appears below standing behind Derrick.  Wings spread the color of white with hints of a slight purple glow around the edges.  I look a little closer to see who it is and notice the bouncy blonde curls and a smile I would recognize anywhere.  Kim!  She’s an angel and apparently on Derrick’s side.  I guess it wasn’t just a dream.

“Derrick!  We don’t have to do this now.  Lindsay needs you guys to work together.  Look at her over there weak and helpless.  Please, Derrick, not now.”

“No Kim.  Now is the perfect time.  You need to step down and stay out of this.  This is between Ethan and me.”  With a concerned look in her eyes she stepped back tucking her wings behind her like a puppy being scolded by its master. 

Derrick begins to walk toward Ethan and without hesitating quickly leaps forward and hovers in front of us, spoiling for a fight. “You will not stop me, Ethan.”

“Watch me!”  Ethan moves back flying into the air and instantly whips his hand around as a red whip glowing with the appearance of flames coming off of the edges appears in his hand.  Moving forward again, getting closer to Derrick he flicks his wrist slashing Derrick across the right shoulder leaving a bloody red line down his arm.  The gash in his shoulder slowly heals as he takes flight as well, expanding his angel white wings from behind him.  He holds out his hand as a long sword appears glowing, giving the appearance of a blue fire engulfing the sword.

“You want to know the real difference between us, Ethan?  I’ll heal a lot quicker than you.  You should give up now; there’s no way you can win this battle.”

“Then so be it, but I will never give up. I will always stand by her and be her protection.”  As he speaks, Derrick charges him with his sword. Ethan starts to slash his whip at him but Derrick catches it with his left arm, holding it as he reaches closer and with a grin of pleasure on his face, digs his sword into Ethan’s left side just below his ribs.  Ethan releases an agonizing howl that pierces through me, and his pain becomes mine.  Derrick pulls out the sword, and Ethan lets himself fall back slowly down to the ground clutching his side.

His body is weak, and I can tell he doesn’t have the strength to heal himself quickly.  I want to help, but I’m stuck in this useless form.  Derrick swoops down aggressively and lands solid on the ground hovering over Ethan as if ready to finish him off but in that split second Ethan jumps to his feet lashing
his whip straight across Derrick’s chest, spilling blood all over the ground and himself.  Derrick lets out a hiss of discomfort but quickly shakes it off with a laugh. 

“You don’t get it, Ethan.  I heal too quickly for you to harm
me.  You’re too weak and too slow.  Give up, just surrender; it’ll save us some time.” 

Ethan doesn’t respond.  I can see in his expression that he knows what Derrick says is true.  I can feel his sorrow as he recognizes he’s unable to protect me.  It isn’t for him to protect
me
, I have to do what I was created for, I have to pull myself together and fix this.

“By all the power that lies within and around me I will the energy of Air, Water, Fire, Earth and Spirit to bind me back together with my body that kneels below.  Bring me all my power and guide me back to where I belong.  It is not my time for the Spirit world.  Spirit that brought me here I ask thee to release me.  So mote it be!”

With all the power within me I guide my spirit back to my body.  I open my eyes and instantly see Derrick and Ethan face to face.  I look down and feel the ground below my knees.  I’ve been brought back to my human form.  Without wasting any time, I jump to my feet as Derrick’s sword moves toward Ethan.  “Now Ethan, kneel to me, and we will be done with this.  You have had it coming for all that you have done in your past.”  I watch as Derrick slashes the other side of Ethan’s stomach before Ethan even has time to respond.  He drops to his knees in front of Derrick as he grips his side in agony.  Derrick lifts the flaming blue sword straight up above his head, ready to strike Ethan straight through the chest and all I can do is run toward them.  Instantly I feel a sharp twinge in my chest.  I look down to see blue fire glowing in and around my body and I know that Derrick’s sword has penetrated my chest.  In pain and shock I lose control of my body fall backwards and Ethan catches me laying me down on the grass.

“NO!  Lindsay!  Derrick, what have you done?”  The pain is crushing.  I’m unable to respond to Ethan’s voice even though I can hear him clearly and understand what he’s saying.  All that comes out of my mouth though is screams of agony. 

Derrick rushes forward, book in hand, “Lindsay!  I love you Lindsay, I’m so sorry.  We can fix this.  You’ll be okay.”

“Go Derrick!  Leave her be!  You can’t help.  We don’t have that power – only she does – and now who knows if she can recover from this.  She’s still human, and these aren’t earthly weapons.” 

“Let me try!” Derrick says.  “I have the book; there’s a spell in here that will help heal her.  If I can just get her to repeat it back to me, we can save her.”

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough Derrick?  You’re only here to destroy those around you.  You don’t deserve the title of
Angel
.  There is true evil concealed within you.” 

I can hear Kim’s voice coming from behind me, filled with anger and worry.  “Derrick!  I told you this was not the time or place for this.  I told you it was too dangerous.  Look what you’ve done.  This is not how things were meant to be.  This is not what was supposed to happen.”

“Stop with the bickering,” Derrick says.  “Just let me help her, she’s bleeding and it won’t be long before she bleeds to death.”

Death!
  As soon as I hear it, I have an epiphany.  I’m not going to let myself die; I have to pull it together.  I open my eyes slowly and see Derrick and Ethan hovering over me both with looks of panic and concern.  Still in horrible pain, I regain just enough composure to groan out “Just read it!” He pulls the book out and flips it open. 

“Listen closely, Lindsay.  Repeat this chant after me. You have to use whatever strength you have left inside to
will yourself better.”  I nod in response.

"All the power from within and all the energy that surrounds me
. 
The power of all living and deceased becoming part of me permanently, giving eternity
. 
Air, Water, Fire, Earth and Spirit come to me. Heal, restore and rejuvenate. So blessed be!"

I can hear the three of them yelling, but it doesn’t register. All I can think focus on is the agony blooming in my chest.  I close my eyes trying to pull my thoughts together but it’s overwhelming me, I can’t seem to help the small noises of pain I’m making. 

“Lindsay!  Listen to me, you have to get control, concentrate.  You’re the only one that can do this.  You have the ability to heal and create life.  Use your gifts on yourself.”

Excruciating pain throbs inside my chest as I wearily repeat the words Derrick reads to me; his voice fades as the words start to come more naturally. I try to focus, putting all of my concentration on healing myself despite the distractions. I force myself to repeat each sentence.  Still keeping my eyes closed my body clenching with every word, I can’t help but feel my life drifting away. I’m lying here on the very ground where I discovered my path in life.  As I finish the chant, I softly whisper, "As it is my destiny I ask thee to place thy faith in your creation" I open my eyes and Ethan is the only thing that I can see.  His dark and mysterious eyes are filled with a deep unconditional love.  His body is withered, but even so all I can see his beauty.  I feel the sharp sting as the sword is removed from my bleeding chest.  The pain lingers and all I can think to do is smile seeing Ethan’s perfect face and with one thing on my mind I look at him. I think to myself,
“With every end there is a new beginning.”

With a blink, he’s gone, and there is only darkness.